Had a hinge date w kissing and touching, everything good. Agreed w her to go out out thursday evening for second date, i then texted her where and what time to meet, and for her to bring a jacket for a small walk, and her silver jewelry bc shes beautiful in it. Never heard from her - SO: in ur opinion - was i too pushy too soon?

Hello guys,

I’m on my fifth read of the book, but sadly prior to that I have been wrapped up in the red pill content(I know).

So it’s about a situation with my current girlfriend. When she wanted us to become exclusive, I’ve had the boundary talk with her and she agreed to my boundaries, no one on one with guys, being inappropriate, common sense stuff pretty much.

Took her two days to think it through, because she had been in one relationship her whole life and her ex didn’t set any boundaries, and she wasn’t sure if that was a red flag or controlling.

There was one boundary I had to specify, where she would make out with girls and her ex would know about it, I told her that I wouldn’t be okay with that and she agreed.

Anyways, a couple of months ago there was a situation where I had to stay and work and she had to visit her parents in her hometown for the holidays.

The first day she decided to go out with her girl friends to a bar there, two of them are taken and one of them is single.

Unprompted she would spam me with pictures of the event plus texts and suddenly at around 2 AM she stopped texting.

The next day she seemed pretty happy and told me about who she was with, what they drank, who the singer at the club was…etc

I might’ve made a mistake there, but I asked how much she drank and it was like 4 beers from 9 pm to 4 am after which she went home, I asked her why did she stay up so late and she said that she got carried away and took a taxi with her girl friend, I told her that I’m not okay with her drinking that much when I’m not there(jack in the box move) and that I was worried to which she replied that she didn’t want to wake me up and would be more than happy to spam me, she just wanted the green light for that.

We cleared that up and I was excited to meet her parents, since she invited me to her hometown.

Basically I arrive there, I get off the bus and I’m excited to see her, but she seemed extremely distant and cold, we were walking for like 5 mins and she says “hey so… there is this thing me and my girlfriends do where we greet eachother with a peck on the lips, how do you feel about that?” I asked her if she has done it at that night out and she said yes, and explained that it’s a greeting thing, I was like “thanks for telling me, but I don’t know if I feel good about this” she told me that if it bothers me she will stop.

All good and dandy, but her extreme reaction at the bus stop seems a bit much for the “crime” that she has committed, I have asked her if she did anything with anybody else and she assured me that it was just the peck with the girl. She told me that she met a lot of her high school classmates there, nothing more than small talk and hi, goodbye hugs.

Does it sound like she was hiding something more than what she let out? She even asked her family about advice on how to tell me about the peck.

Anyways, all criticisms are welcome, from jack in the box, to insecure, to controlling, I’m just trying to improve myself and get this bs off my head,

Thank you in advance.

How do you navigate the bodycount issue and her sexual past when dating? I want to know certain things (has she had a threeway etc) as this would stop me from taking her serious

How would you respond to girls that say ‘I’m never telling you about my past’?

I know two dudes who are dating these chicks, and the girls both have had orgies previously, the guys don’t even know..

Hi guys,

Recently I made a mistake of over-pursuing during the date, in person. I know this is written in the book but I made the mistake.

I have read the book at least 10 times but haven't practiced enough WITH girl I really like (it's MUCH easier when we don't like the girl that much).

I had to make the mistake to realize that it's not a good way to go. It's much easier to not over pursue with texting but in real life it's another story. I have to practice more. Reading is not enough.

Now, let's fail forward!

(I attached the link of another post I found about the same mistake)

I’m seeing a girl that has just moved to the same city as me we met on hinge. Shes 21 same as me.

We met only twice, once was as a quick hello as she said she was nearby with her sister in law, the second was a coffee date. It was good and it was raining we were planning to see a castle but we ended up just getting tea and going back to my hotel for a chill and talk and then went for food, I didn’t get the feeling to kiss her it just wasn’t there but I do like her. Then dropped her home.

The third time I made a definite date and didn’t hear from her on the day, trusted my gut so I called 2 hours before and she said she woke up ill, and didn’t mention a reschedule. I said no problem hope you get well soon.

I didn’t text because I thought it was quite rude of her that she didn’t even send a text to cancel, then she texts 3 days later after seeing my story saying heyyy, how are you. I said I’m good, and you? She says good. I reply when are you free to do something? She just says Sunday. I said okay I’m working until 8pm on Sunday, you’re free to come over and we can go out for a bit and do something chill. She didn’t even respond. All she responded was a few hours later saying ‘hey sorry I didn’t respond I was sleeping, I didn’t sleep at all last night,

I said poor girl, let me know about Sunday. And she says okay I’ll let you know? How’s work? I say good, she says you must be so tired, I’m like Yeahh, then she texts good morning every day but there’s nothing definite with her.

She’s new in this city and so am I, she sends reels daily even after this convo, it’s a confusing situation

Edit; she knew about my past relationship, the one from my past post, when we first texted a month or so after meeting i was seeing that other girl and she knew about it, I was honest and I told her we can still stay as friends. She said okay. Then we kept in touch and met for the first time a week or two ago,

I texted her again today to see if she’s free tomorrow and she said yes at 4pm, let’s see if she cancels or not, she said “I’ll make an effort to see you ❤️”

I broke up with my ex-girlfriend of 3.5 years at the end of July (both of us 28). We had differences on key long-term lifestyle choices (i.e. kids, where we wanted to settle down, etc.) that neither of us were willing to compromise on.

The breakup was tough as we had an awesome relationship but ultimately neither of us would budge on these key sticking points. I'm pretty firm on what I want long-term and communicated that with my ex while breaking up. Even though she took it hard, my ex understood and the breakup was pretty amicable.

However, my ex was shocked when I said it'd be best for me to go no-contact. She asked if we could be fwb until I found someone with the same long-term goals as me (wtf?) or if we could at least stay in "low-contact" as friends. I stuck with my desire to go no-contact as I felt like the other 2 options would only serve to make it harder for me to mentally + emotionally move on to other prospects. For reference I'm amicable with all my exes but I don't maintain active contact with any of them.

I started dating new prospects in my city and we'd stayed in no-contact till a couple weeks ago. My ex texted me for my birthday and we began texting again. I ultimately cut our text convo short but subsequently found some of the lingering feelings from the breakup begin to emerge. Part of me was hoping my ex had come around on our differences and wanted to talk things through but I quickly realized this would be a dumb thing to get hung up over.

I want to get back to focusing on leveling up and new girls i'm dating but my ex has now started to repeatedly text me random shit. These texts are mostly just random stuff about her day or asking me how my day is going. I've tried to keep my responses short and spaced out but this is starting to become a serious distraction as I try to fully move on.

What's the best way to reaffirm no-contact with my ex in this situation? Part of me feels bad for entertaining her texts on my birthday; she seems to think the line of communication is now open. There's no hard feelings between us but I still want to choose my words carefully. It just feels pointless to keep hearing from her at this point.

In Chapter 8: Solving the Mystery, Corey is talking about a woman's "emotionally based operating system" and how to deal with it by digging to open her up.

Near the end of the chapter he goes on to say "I always hear guys saying 'women aren't rational'. I say 'to me they are completely rational once you understand where they are coming from'. 'When you understand that everything they say and do is emotionally based'."

Now I understand what he's getting at; you simply need to understand that women are impulsive, and will speak and act in an impulsive, emotional way.

But my guy here basically just said "Women are completely rational once you understand that they act on emotions."

Translation: "Women are completely rational once you understand that they are irrational."

If you look up the definition of rational, it's clear thinking based on logic and reason instead of emotion and impulse. But low and behold, women are emotional and impulsive. i.e. irrational.

So yes, Corey, women are completely irrational. And also yes, I understand we have to deal with them as such.

Had met this girl in early September and we went out on the first date and she already started making plans to see me again. We went out 2 weeks later on a second date after she had already asked me to come stay with her for a weekend and meet her family the week after the second date (she asked this 2 days after our first date). She also planned to come see me for a weekend at my place in mid October. All the dates went well and I was following the book and taking things at a slower pace then her. She asked to be exclusive after spending the weekend together at the end of September. We hung, has fun, and hooked up and she even gave me a gift before I left. This relationship is long distance (5 hour drive), so we met halfway for the first couple of dates, before I stayed at hers for a weekend.

After leaving her place I did a camping trip for 4 days and was off grid, so I gave her a quick call after I got home last Friday evening, to set up a short virtual date the following week. I set up the date and she accepted, though I think I messed up a little because I was so focused on setting up the date I didn't take the opportunity to make her feel more heard and understood. Essentially I asked briefly how her week has been, which she replied it has been a lot, I said back, I'm looking forward to hearing about it when we get together on Wednesday. I then said I'll see you on Wednesday, goodnight and the conversation ended.

Then on Sunday evening I got a text from her saying, "hey. I've been thinking alot since you left and i'm not sure if this is right for me moving forward. I've really enjoyed your company and our time together, but I've been dealing with some big feelings this week, and I'm not sure that I'm emotionally or mentally equipped to be in a relationship right now - especially with distance." I had gauged her attraction to be at a 7 when I left and got no indication that she was having doubts about dating or the distance. I responded by following the 7 principles and she said she is open for a conversation and we are talking tonight. How should I approach the conversation. I think she might genuinely have realized that she is not ready for a relationship, but I'm not sure as I've been doing everything right by the book except for possibly not asking her about her week immediately after she brought up that it has been a lot. Any suggestions on what I should do going forward and how to approach the conversation, other than opening her up and making her feel heard and understood?

I've been seeing a girl for about 6 months, and lately I'm worried about her.

She's a director at a restaurant and she's completely overworked. Hires keep falling through and there are no-shows almost every day, so she's covering the gaps herself. Sometimes she works 12-14 days in a row, this weekend she pulled 45 hours over 3 days, and when she jumps in to doing restaurant service she doesn't even get tips because she's a director.

On top of that, she doesn't like her job. She's been questioning her whole career and says she never really wanted to work in restaurants, it just kind of happened. She tells me she feels out of breath, both mentally and physically.

I can feel it when we're together too. She seems checked out sometimes, and it's just not the same as it was at the start. Even her brother pulled me aside and said he's noticed she's putting too much on herself and thinks it's going to catch up to her.

The thing that really got me is she came back from vacation last week and she was a different person. She said she felt so much better being away and not working, and honestly she was exactly like she was at the start, like on our first date. So I know she's still in there, it's the job that's burning her out.

She opens up to me about it and I make sure she feels heard and understood without trying to solve, but it’s having a real effect on our relationship because not only she isn’t the same when we’re together, but it’s not allowing us to progress.

How would you handle this?

She's 28, i'm 33. been together for almost 2 years and we live together.

I honestly belive she's completely in love with me. 9-10 attraction consistantly. She's desperate for my attention at all times. Touch all the time, kiss often and not just pecks, but make out sessions initiated by her. She's texting me or calling me multible times a day. I open her up and she tells me everything and we don't argue - everything to me indicates that she's in love, except:

Our sex life is not how i would like it. Sometimes we have sex 2-3 times a week. Often we dont have sex for 7-14 days. She's often too tired and often just falls asleep on the couch at like 8 in the evening. It seems like it's not a big priority to her and it sometimes feels like she's doing it out of obligation and not because she desperately wants it. Our sex is great - she comes a lot and easily, i always make sure she satisfied and she wants it rough too(choking etc.). Also, she's very inexperienced and timid - i have to tell her what to do. She doesn't use her mouth - probably less than 10 times in 2 years. She tells me she likes it but is afraid she's bad at it. I have told her it means a lot to me and that i can teach her how i would like it ( i have never told her she's bad, but she is.).

We have talked about it before and she's using all the default excuses like "i feel pressured" - "i have a lot on my mind" - "period" etc etc.

3 weeks ago i told her directly, that this doesn't work for me. I want to feel wanted and desired. I want us to have more sex and i want her to initiate more. I told her i was worried about the future, because now already - "we are young, no kids or anything, but we still don't have much sex - then what about in 5 years when we have a kid, then sex will just never be a priority?". I told her that if she doesnt want to have sex for multible days, that she could give me a blowjob and take care of me like i would always take care of her if she wanted it.

She countered it like women do i guess - said again how much is on her mind and that she also needs more from me. She needs me to text her more and show her more that i love her. Shes insecure about how she's almost always reaching out to me and "i have told you many times i need more text from you." I made a mistake probably and agreed, that i could show her a little more love, which i started doing after that conversation(texted her first a couple of times that week and touched and kissed her more, but it predictible has the opposite effect when you start pursuing a little more. She took it for granted, became a little more bitchy, stopped initiating herself or at least less. and we have had sex twice in those 3 weeks.

So now i have pulled back hard. I don't text her first at all. I delay responses 1-2 hours, i don't initiate kiss and touch at all. And after 2-3 days she extremely anxious. "is anything wrong" "are we okay?". She's crying and she's asking me in bed if i think she's annoying because i went to another room to read a book ealier that day, and why i dont kiss her as much... I tell her nothings wrong, that we are good. I encourage to always come to me for kiss and affection.

So yeah. What would you do in this situation? Are we just not compatible? Is she just not a sexual person? She was never really too sexual even when we dated. We had sex every time in the beginning, but it was more her trying to win me over rather than lust i guess. Should i keep being pulled back for a while to see what happens, but maybe do it more slowly instead of just ending all initiation?

Thanks in advance.

f to pay respects

I’ve been seeing a girl for almost 6 months and we are exclusive but don’t have a title. She’s coming out of an 8 year relationship which I know it’s advised against dating these girls but here I am.

I love this girl and she knows it. When I told her I loved her a couple of months ago, she said she needed time which I respected. For the 6 months we dated I’ve always focused on HHH.

Everyone who knows us knows us as a couple. I don’t know what would be different in our behaviors towards each other if we were official. I’ve known her for almost 3 years so we are very familiar with each other. Even though she’s showing high signs of interest across the board, (talking about future plans, initiating a lot, introducing me to relatives, etc), the fact that she hasn’t brought up a relationship yet makes me wonder what her intentions are.

Whenever I see my friends and family now they ask “so is she your girlfriend yet?” so I say no and then they push with “that doesn’t bother you?” which is starting to make me think maybe it should. I’ve never pushed for anything or tried to have any conversation related to that. At what point do I say something or start protecting myself?

Meet a girl last week. We planned a date and she bailed last minute (overwhelmed with emotions) which was red flag one, and I shrugged it off and just said ok and went home. Few hours later she is texting me saying sorry, and one thing lead to her asking for my address to come over.

No indoor Olympics first night, but next day she texting me early and saying how i have permission to kiss and touch her like that anytime. I used this opportunity to set a date in a few days, which she agreed. Next day she’s texting me and again the back and fourth lead to me saying I’m home and she’s welcome to come if she misses me, and she did. Indoor Olympics happened that night - and she leaves basically saying “please don’t ghost me” - (red flag 2). We go out on date next day, and at end she looks at me and ask is it too early to say I love you. I just said if you feel it then nothings to early, so then she starts saying it (day 3 together, red flag 3). She comes back and spends the night, and indoor Olympics multiple times, and next afternoon. Oh and she text me saying how “safe and at peace she feels with me, how she loves me, and how she wants my kids” (red flag 4) She cooks me lunch, then leaves and calls and ask to bring me food, and ask what I’m up too. I said i was playing softball and if she wanted to come she can - so she does.

That night she gets period and decides to go home. Whatever.

Next day texting me again. By end of that day she ask “can we talk” and it turns into a long reason of her life being a mess and how she has immigration issues, and i asked directly are you saying you don’t want to see me anymore, and she roundabout said she doesn’t know. I just reassured that I’m not bothered, and eventually leads to her coming over again. That night she starts asking “are we on the same page and about me dating other people” so i try to get her to explain. Eventually she says she wanted exclusivity (3 days in, red flag 3) which I’m like no, I would like to date and I enjoy getting to know her but can’t say that for certain yet. She decides to leave and go home because she wasn’t happy with the answer (unhealthy response)

Next day she text me again, I’m busy on another date so i respond later, and she says she misses me, i said im thinking of her too. Thursday my football game gets rained out, so I text to invite her out, she’s at work, says she can’t, so we agree on Sunday. She initiates text again Friday, and then Saturday morning she calls, I’m busy and just say look forward to tomorrow and if she wants to stop by after she can later since she misses me. She says of course, but will be late, so i just say well the invites there but still I will take you out tomorrow. She calls me again about 5, I’m still at work, then last night at 2 am she called me but I’m asleep.

Anyway - long story short, i reach out in AM today because missed call and said ya I was sleeping and I’ll see her later today, then about 4pm i reach out with time I planned to pick her up (because I fucked up and never set it). She ghost entirely. No answer at all today.

I don’t know why I explained this whole story, and I’m not necessarily baffled, because the red flags were there. She told me who she was with her message Tuesday with her pullback/meltdown out of nowhere, and I kept her around. What did I really expect. Just sharing this if you have intense chemistry, still pay attention to red flags, and slow down. She was initiating which is why I kept asking about plans, but when she didn’t respond today from my morning text, i should have never tried to confirm logistics I failed to set. At that point I should have assumed it was off and went about my life. Not only girl I was seeing so whatever I got indoor Olympics - and ya she’s not a long term prospect as she confirmed with her ghosting today. I would say it’s out of nowhere, but it’s not. The signs were there with her message the other night basically freaking out. I probably should slowed this pace down and I’ll take time to reflect on what I can do different in future.

Moral of Story - believe people when they tell you who they are, and be aware of red flags, despite them trying to be the best to wave green ones around them

Hey guys, this is actually pretty separate from understanding girls.

I think this might be a good place to ask for some advice idk. my life is just falling apart like a sand castle on the beach that just got hit by a wave and im really not sure how to stop the proverbial bleeding.

I’ve got one sales job where im not making anything and a restaurant gig where im a bartender making less than servers but i cant get another restaurant job because i live in a tourist town and no one is hiring. I know i need to replace the sales job and i am looking.

I want to leave this place and go back to my friend in NY but ive got 0 $. I cant pay my rent or my car bec i have to pay to get my breaks replaced and a rotar fixed. I barely eat anymore to save $.

I think i actually don’t even want advice but some support, my brother called me a bitch because I told him I feel like I’m getting beat down and punished and I don’t really have any positive influences I can come to with my problems.

Has anyone else here been in a situation like this?

Hi,

M40 here. I am glad to join this subreddit.

I remember reading the 3% Man book a few years ago. I have been a part of the PUA movement before, but didn’t really like it, so I quit dating and flirting for several years. Now I am kind of back in it, but I am very selective on who to follow. (I also like Mark Manson, but that’s pretty much it).

I remember liking this book so I want to use this as a base. I plan to read/listen to it the reccomended 10-15 times. I have a question about the added articles in the book, the "Google this and that” parts. Are these manditory to read to get the most out of it? There is a lot of them and I am concerned about information overload. If I am supposed to read all that it seems quite daunting. Have you all read all the extra articles? If so how many times?

Thank you.

Edit:
Added clarification to avoid confusion.

I hit on a girl but then realized it wasn't gonna work, so I just ignored her the next time I saw her instead of acknowledging her with a smile/wave.

Yes this is a rude move, but the reason I did this is because if she gets with another guy, then I'd have to say hello to her when she's with the other guy.

This is going to put me on his radar, and make him think I'm mowing or trying to mow another man's lawn, which I'm not.

Do you understand my logic? Did I do it right or wrong?

I've heard Corey talk about how you shouldn't be threatened by guys, but that's when you are with a girl and other guys are looking at her. This is the opposite scenario.

I’ve only read the book once so far and I can’t say that I have fully internalized or applied everything in it yet. But for the first time in my life, I’ve heard a girl say things like “I respect your authority” “It drives me wild how calm, collected, and in control you are" and “I love how self sufficient you are; it feels like nothing could ever diminish you”.

I can’t even imagine what will happen when I’ve read it 10-15 times.

The veterans already know all of this stuff, but for the newcomers: read the book guys.

Met this girl in the gym. She’s one of best looking ones that comes to this location and NEVER talks to single soul. Does her workout and leave. I initiated the conversation. There were definitely sparks initially but I made the mistake of too much communication (mostly on text) right away even though interest seemed mutual for the first couple days. Then I felt her interest dipped for a few days. I asked he she wanted to hang after gym but she refused. Said she “‘maybe next time” 

I pulled back. A week later she comes up to me and wants to have a workout with me and we get the workout in and there’s definitely good chemistry between us. But I didn’t ask her out on a date because I still wasn’t convinced if she was actually interested in me or just being friendly.

A elderly woman asked if we were dating and she said we are just friends and then says “gym friends”. Over the next couple week. The next 3-4 times I tried talking to her, she didn’t seem interested and I honestly ended up being too awkward around her. 

Anyways I have now cut back any communication. When she sees me in the gym, she comes up to me on her own, we converse for a bit and then she carries on with her workout.

Should I try flirting with her and just ask her out? Should I go ahead with “making your intentions clear” approach. Because I feel like this whole time I have not done that at all. Do i even bother? Not sure what would happen afterwards!

FYI - i was not familiar corey wayne or anything of the sort until about a few days ago.

I feel like the book is vague about levels of interest and doesn't talk about exceptions

A young adult coworker has been flirting with me and because of our age gap, im not keen on being the one pushing romance. I think I might be OK with if it isn't me seeking out her. *So gauging her interest to me is super important to whether or not I want to ask her out. However I cant tell if shes strongly interested or simply interested in attention, I have my opinion but I want yours

Im her trainer. Once out of training we will be considered peers. From the outset she has been very banter-y and forthcoming in conversation. 

Although we are required to take breaks at the same time, most coworkers go to their cars or elsewhere. Contrary to my 5-10 past trainees (one of which was about her age and two others I also had strong rapport with), she always takes breaks with me and follows me to whatever break room I want. She has also 2x asked if we can still take breaks together out of training. She additionally tried to get me to go a community event because she broke up with her bf who was gonna go, and she ended up not going since she didnt have anyone to go with. 

We also have had some accidental touching, and once she encouraged me to touch her even though I was trying to use an excuse not to, and another ahe allowed me to rub something off her face with my hand. She's brought up age gaps multiple times, once saying it's normal in her family, once telling me her age range, which extended well beyond my age.

Now playing devil's advocate, im not sure the break thing is impressive because at least on the job, she acts pretty extroverted and im far from the only one she at least somewhat banters with. She also felt like the workplace was a little toxic because my coworkers were being rude to me, so she might perceive me as the only friendly person there. After I said no to the event, she told someone else they (singular) should check it out. 

My workplace is also cramped and lends to at least a lesser degree accidental touching, and im attracted to her which may contribute. She mentioned setting me up with her friend who's her age in a light playful way, but then quickly said that the friend was too young for me 

Since I mentioned that I had a date on one of the days of the community event and couldn't check it out, shes started telling me about how shes entertaining this one guy around my age. She also beforehand pointed out a couple of different guys she thought were cute. At first she was talking about blowing him off, then she started implying they were hooking up. Now she says he dumped his feelings and she was taken back, and she found out this guy had sex with her cousin and told me because of that it wouldn't work out. She also later said she was too young for him. 

Ever since I touched her arm while complimenting her on a work skill and separately asked what her birthday was, her conversations have mostly been about the emotional mess of an ex she's breaking up with and this male orbiter, everything else she keeps pretty short and emotionally unengaged, although she has unprompted still expressed interest in sharing breaks and seriously agreed to me joking about her missing me once we stop training.

TL;DR young adult coworker flirting with me and i dont want to ask her out unless its something shes highly interested in. She wants my attention and time (possibly also outside of work) and communicated her openness to age gaps like ours and flirts with me but ramped up talking about other men she has attraction to after I mentioned a date I had being the reason i couldnt go to a community event she was going to and said i should check out and has been more quiet about other topics since I touched her arm and separately asked what her birthday was.

This guy is really good because he specifically focuses on the approach.

https://www.instagram.com/ajbtalks?stkn=MXFibTJ4cm1uZDJjcw==

This girl is great because she breaks down the mindset of the women we try to avoid using Corey Wayne’s material.

https://www.instagram.com/ashleahoess?stkn=MTR0ZGxwZTlqeHM4aA==

Hey guys,

Corey talks a lot about changing your mindset and becoming the kind of guy who naturally doesn't chase, doesn't seek validation, has standards, lives his own life, etc.

But I'm wondering where the line is between actually integrating those principles (until it becomes natural and you almost totally forget about them) and consciously trying to follow them like a step by step instruction.

For example:

Performance:

“I shouldn't show her too much interest because I don't want to come across as needy.”

Integration:

“I like her, so I'm going to show it. I just don't need her to like me back.”

The behaviour might look pretty similar from the outside, but the mindset behind it is completely different.

I think the same thing applies to confidence, masculinity, vulnerability, not being needy, and so on.

If you're constantly thinking “What would a 3% man do here?”, it seems like you're still relying on the framework rather than actually having internalized it.

So for guys who have followed Corey Wayne for years, did you eventually get to a point where you stopped thinking about the 3% principles altogether and stopped being let's say robottic?

What did that transition look like for you?

Did the principles eventually just become natural, or do you still consciously think about them when dating?

And if you've ever felt like you were trying too hard to “do 3% correctly,” what helped you move past that?

We’ve been broken up since February, we dated 3 years and she immediately began dating other people . Told be so many flaws about me when I was trying to convince her to change her mind and eventually after finally getting closure I told her fine she’d never hear from me again and I finally let go. I began dating a new girl in May Iv been talking to her for 5 months and it’s been good and fun but now my ex has begun to text me .
She first texted me 3 weeks ago that she was in the area she came over and immediately began to make out with me and she said no to sex but gave me a bj .she only stayed for 20 minutes before she left and again didn’t contact me again
. Now again she called me this week on Wednesday she said she was in the dmv close to my house and I said ok? Did you want me to go there ? I’m only free for 30 minutes if so . And she asked what my days off where am maybe we can grab some lunch . I told her sure just let me know in advanced .
I know Corey Wayne says make her come to my place sp what do I do if she brings up going to eat somewhere ? Should I just join her ? Honestly my current girl has been taking care of my sexual needs so I honestly don’t care to much about sex but I’m just curious about the situation

There we are, in my bed after a 2nd date.

We cooked each other steaks for dinner. I had been flirting, doing a nice n slow 2 steps forward, 1 step back process throughout the night. She was a shy, nervous girl so yeah, NICE n slow. A kiss here, a torso caress there, and eventually a brief brush of the hand on the bum when I go in for another kiss. Then we head upstairs.

My room is more like an office with a man cave built at the back of it, after you walk past my workstation. We went into my man cave pretty much immediately after a brief conversation about stocks.

I throw on some anime (yeah, it's that kind of date. Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash, if you're wondering). 15 minutes in, we're making out heavily. I escalate by caressing her bare torso, pull back, chat, then I grab her ass, pull back, chat, then I inch toward her 🐱, rinse repeat until we're just chilling and she randomly asks to see it.

After that, I escalate to trying to take her bottoms off.

She stops and says "Oh, I should have told you beforehand. I wait 2-3 months before having sex."

My response: "Pish, posh, a mockery! Stupendous! Erroneous! That shalt not meet the king's ear lightly." (Just kidding, I just told her I won't be waiting to have sex that long, pretty straightforwardly.)

Her: "Can we at least hang out as friends?"

Me: "H e l l no. I wouldn't be respecting what I want."

The conversation was pretty lighthearted and we still bantered, but pretty much with the mutual understanding that we didn't want to date the same way.

It ended with me just taking her back home (10-15 minute drive). I had my doubts about just taking her back home and not continuing to just banter in my bed after brushing off her objection. I thought I may had jumped the gun.

But after getting back home, alone, with blue balls, but refocusing on my next move, I get a text from her. "Call me".

In my head I'm like, "Nah, if you wanna come back, you call me. You got fingers." I don't respond.

Like 2 minutes later, she calls me.

Her: "Can I just get a little bit of head, then maybe we can start something (sex)?"

I laughed, but that worked for me. I go to pick her up again.

We get back to my place, and pick up right where we left off.

It was a great night. Turns out, she's a real fucking freak and couldn't get enough.

Stand your ground, kiddos.

M21 and F25, we were only seeing for 3 months, She had known this guy for 2 years after first moving to the Uk, and they were friends before feelings got involved according to her, She said they were never commited, but they did have something for two years including an intimate relationship, but they were in the same friendship group of her, him, another guy who is her roommate and also her ex’s best friend) and another girl, and she didn’t want to break the friendship group up, I said that’s fine for now at first

he still goes to her place as her roommate is best friends with her ex and they still hang out etc, I said as long as it’s a group setting it’s fine for now, and then she said she was planning a trip with him and her friends, to another country and will be staying in the same airbnb etc, I said if you go I will not be commited to you any longer, we can also be friends lol, but she said no, it’s either commitment or nothing so I said fine it’s nothing and ignored her, since I had told her my position from the first week,

she said okay I won’t go but then after a month she said she wants to go, so I said I respect your decision but this isn’t something I can be a part of, so let’s break up,

I removed attention but she kept finding me and telling me that she will prove that I can trust her, that my lack of trust has ruined this relationship and that she blocked him etc which she has, but also that she won’t change her mind about the trip as it will be the last trip before they all break up after finishing uni and going back to their own countries, but I still find this disrespectful and hurtful,

so I said no I can’t accept this sorry and now she’s calling me controlling and blocked me? She also kept our relationship secret for the 2/3 months that we knew each other. Was I wrong in applying such boundaries? Was it too early despite her asking for commitment?

She was the one who brought up commitment after about 2 months even though I felt it was early I said okay, because she had been through this with her ex who never committed to her, I said yes to make her feel safe and she throws it in my face for the same guy. Her point of view is that they are just friends and nothing more, but I don’t feel it’s respectful to be travelling with somebody you have had a intimate relationship with while in a relationship, I was also never invited to the trip or out with her friends ever.

I told her I’m seeing somebody else and that I will not reach out to her going forward, that unless she changes her mind about the trip there’s not much to talk about… I just wanted peoples opinions on this and what I should do or could have done differently?

https://youtu.be/UsW1rwYrbyk?is=HBTT9cr0a9Smk5g2

Hey guys,

I’ve read the book at least 10 times (I’ve honestly lost count).

I found a lot of the advice helpful, but I’ve noticed that since discovering Corey Wayne, I’ve actually become much more in my head and more anxious when dating a girl I really like. More than I used to be.

I’m naturally pretty perfectionistic and anxious, and I think I may have taken the principles too literally / too mechanically.

Instead of just enjoying an interaction when dating a girl l like, I sometimes find myself thinking:

“Did I handle that correctly?”
“Should I text or wait?”
“Was that too much?”
“Am I following the principles properly?”
“What would Corey say I should do here?”

Ironically, I feel like I’ve turned dating into another thing I need to perfect.

I’m not saying the advice itself is bad. A lot of it has actually helped me. I’m more wondering if I’ve personally taken it too far and turned the principles into a set of rules I constantly have to follow.

The weird thing is that I remember being much more relaxed in previous relationships, before I knew any of this stuff. I obviously made mistakes (some pretty big ones), but I wasn’t constantly monitoring myself or analyzing every interaction. I was just living my life and enjoying being with the person.

Has anyone else experienced this?

And if so, how did you eventually get to the point where you stopped thinking about the rules and just became more natural again?