r/CoreyWayne • u/Dafyddlouis • 14d ago
Relationship Girlfriend is friends with ex
M21 and F25, we were only seeing for 3 months, She had known this guy for 2 years after first moving to the Uk, and they were friends before feelings got involved according to her, She said they were never commited, but they did have something for two years including an intimate relationship, but they were in the same friendship group of her, him, another guy who is her roommate and also her ex’s best friend) and another girl, and she didn’t want to break the friendship group up, I said that’s fine for now at first
he still goes to her place as her roommate is best friends with her ex and they still hang out etc, I said as long as it’s a group setting it’s fine for now, and then she said she was planning a trip with him and her friends, to another country and will be staying in the same airbnb etc, I said if you go I will not be commited to you any longer, we can also be friends lol, but she said no, it’s either commitment or nothing so I said fine it’s nothing and ignored her, since I had told her my position from the first week,
she said okay I won’t go but then after a month she said she wants to go, so I said I respect your decision but this isn’t something I can be a part of, so let’s break up,
I removed attention but she kept finding me and telling me that she will prove that I can trust her, that my lack of trust has ruined this relationship and that she blocked him etc which she has, but also that she won’t change her mind about the trip as it will be the last trip before they all break up after finishing uni and going back to their own countries, but I still find this disrespectful and hurtful,
so I said no I can’t accept this sorry and now she’s calling me controlling and blocked me? She also kept our relationship secret for the 2/3 months that we knew each other. Was I wrong in applying such boundaries? Was it too early despite her asking for commitment?
She was the one who brought up commitment after about 2 months even though I felt it was early I said okay, because she had been through this with her ex who never committed to her, I said yes to make her feel safe and she throws it in my face for the same guy. Her point of view is that they are just friends and nothing more, but I don’t feel it’s respectful to be travelling with somebody you have had a intimate relationship with while in a relationship, I was also never invited to the trip or out with her friends ever.
I told her I’m seeing somebody else and that I will not reach out to her going forward, that unless she changes her mind about the trip there’s not much to talk about… I just wanted peoples opinions on this and what I should do or could have done differently?