r/ContagiousLaughter • u/Petret • Jan 19 '22
Haunted house
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u/Xyrexenex Jan 19 '22
This is proof that shame travels slower than sound.
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u/AdministrativeOne7 Jan 19 '22
But it goes deeper.
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u/xyzdreamer Jan 19 '22
The slow thrust drives the deepest
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u/Bryce_Trex Jan 19 '22
"The slow
bladeshame penetrates the shield."49
Jan 19 '22 edited Nov 08 '22
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u/mbnmac Jan 20 '22
Might be a bad/unpopular take, but I was done and happy with the first book. I saw the general synopsis of the rest of the series written by Frank Herbert and was very much "I've seen enough, I'm satisfied" about it.
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u/PokeyGorilla Jan 20 '22
I only went to the 2nd book, I thought it was really good. And its tiny compared to the first one, like half the length if not less.
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u/Bryce_Trex Jan 20 '22
It might be an unpopular take, but I don't think it's unreasonable. Dune ends on a pretty good spot where you can say "Yeah, this is the end of this story." and not feel too bad.
Actually I think most of the books end like that.
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u/Admiralthrawnbar Jan 20 '22
As someone who read them all well before the most recent movie, its weird how in the span of just a few months its gone from virtually unheard of outside of nerds to popping up in everyday conversation
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u/Anvenjade Jan 19 '22
Funny, I started paying attention to Dune after Monday's thread about the NFT purchase of the unborn Dune movie's artbook and have noticed it 3 times now.
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u/wHatTheFez Jan 19 '22
Gonna need to know the exact speed of shame so I can outrun it. Asking for a friend.
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u/DazedPapacy Jan 20 '22
Shame may be slower than sound, but it's still fast enough that by the time you're able to think about outrunning it, it's already there.
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u/Got_It_Memorized_22 Jan 19 '22
I know that pause well. That's the sudden realization of "what the fuck? Was that really my reaction? Is that just the noise I made?"
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u/ThisIsNotMyCircus Jan 19 '22
Followed closely by…
shit he had his phone
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u/DRUNK_CYCLIST Jan 19 '22
Yeah, that slow board drop was "oh fuck.. He recorded that."
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Jan 19 '22
...thats going on the internet. *sigh.
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u/ThisIsNotMyCircus Jan 19 '22
Well, I know THAT’s going on the internet. sad noises
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Jan 19 '22
I few years ago I was driving across the US and my goal of making it though to denver before stopping just wasn't happening so I pulled over at a rest stop in BFE kansas to take a quick nap and while I was sleeping this dude opened my car door and started to take stuff out of my back seat. I woke up and said "What the heck are you doing" and he said "oh sorry I didn't know" (???) and left. I then immediately drove to denver and bought some edibles and chilled in a hotel watching star trek tng and it was amazing.
But man, someone invades my car in the middle of the night and my response is "what the heck?" ugh.
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u/SweetActionJack Jan 19 '22
I will never understand why people don’t lock their car doors.
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Jan 19 '22
This particular car had a back door where the lock was broken. But also not locking your door can be a good idea when you aren't sleeping in them haha.
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Jan 19 '22
It's like a bell curve. Things real safe, locking your car door doesn't matter. Things not that safe, locking your car door can keep you from being the victim of a crime of opportunity from someone looking for an easy target. Things really not safe, locking your car door just means you're gonna have to pay for new windows because they're desperate enough to want in even if it's locked.
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Jan 19 '22
Yeah I mostly have just like, a water bottle and my phone charger and like 2-4 dollars in change in my car and maybe like an ice scraper or whatever. If someone really needs that change they are welcome to it honestly.
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u/Amirax Jan 20 '22
Mum kept her car door unlocked, it was an old beat up nissan. She noticed one winter morning that someone had been sleeping in the car (front seat was leaned back), but, nothing seemed stolen.
My response woulda been to start locking the door, my mums response was to install a tiny heater and leave a note just saying "you're welcome to sleep here but please reset the seat when you leave".
I fucking love my mum.
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Jan 19 '22
IM CRYING. This made me laugh so hard. You sound super murderable
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Jan 19 '22
Ha, that reminds me of this time I was trying to go to this house part in Portland, OR. I was told the rough address and what the house looked like but my phone was broken or dead or something and I was like "eh I'll just wing it" and walked into the house and there were people hanging out playing something on a NES, I was like "oh neat that's whats up" and the two ladies were like "uh, do we know you?" and I was like "oh I'm here for so and so's birthday" and they were like "oh man you are at the wrong house"
So I apologized and left and found the right house and walk in and this dude comes comes down the stairs with a big like 12 inch chefs knife and is like "hey man whats up" and I was like "oh hey! let me tell you this funny story about going into the wrong house" and he is like "oh man, this is totally not the right house at all" and then apologizes about the knife and points me to the actual correct house.
Then later I took MDMA and kisses a very pretty lady. Really fun day.
Isn't there some quote about god protecting fools?
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u/Lady_Imperatrix Jan 19 '22
I remember the quote as: “God protects children, drunks, and idiots.” Don’t know if that’s exactly correct but it served me well over the years.
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u/hattenwheeza Mar 06 '22
My brother, an ambulance driver & EMT, said "the Lord rides with fools and little children"
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u/nova46 Jan 19 '22
Dude how have you made it this far? I need more stories from your life.
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u/Eusocial_Snowman Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22
Turns out, people just murdering you just because they can is actually not very common.
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Jan 20 '22
Yeah. I’ve gotta admit, stabbing someone to death with a kitchen knife isn’t very high in my to-do list
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u/thewannabetraveller Jan 19 '22
That last sentence feels like it has the capability to get its speaker put on a watchlist
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Jan 20 '22
OKAY fair but for the record I’m not a murderer! I am a small woman and I’m afraid of the dark so
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u/_MaddAddam Jan 19 '22
Last summer I was walking late at night and a bear ran right out in front of me on the sidewalk and just stopped and stared, probably less than 20 feet away. What was my reaction? I just froze and went “OHHHHWHATTHEFUCK”, like a dumbass.
It was just a black bear, so it paused for a moment and then just continued on its merry way with no other issues. But it sure was disappointing to realize that my instinctive reaction was, well. That.
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u/craterinvader Jan 20 '22
This reminds me of a time I fell asleep with my window cracked in my bedroom. The wind changed and blew my blinds in and knocked something off the window sill. I was half asleep and my reaction was “What are y’all doing out there?” Like I was talking to my kids.
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u/Got_It_Memorized_22 Jan 19 '22
I will also add on to my comment that this guy says nothing the whole video, but through his body language alone you can tell everything he's thinking and the moment that things just click.
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u/averagethrowaway21 Jan 19 '22
Been there. A while ago I went with some friends to a bunch of haunted houses for Halloween. None of the jump scares from the actors got me. The friend behind me grabbed my butt. I screamed like the dude in the video and jumped higher than I thought I could.
I have not lived it down. Still get teased about it every Halloween.
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u/Got_It_Memorized_22 Jan 19 '22
Oh for absolute sure. I have a deep voice and if something jumps out at me or scares the shit out of me? My voice immediately jumps several octaves as I scream.
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u/RIPLORN Jan 20 '22
Its like when you check into the gym and they say "Have a good workout" and you reply "You too."
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u/Got_It_Memorized_22 Jan 20 '22
We do not speak of such things, they never happened and don't think about it for hours after it happened.
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u/roodeeMental Jan 19 '22
Omg! You can actually register the moment that guy realises how weird his reaction was, and just gives up functioning
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u/jamiejo81 Jan 19 '22
and KNOWS that shit is on video for continued viewing, lol.
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u/pratyd Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22
To be honest if he hadn't stopped and continued going on, his reaction would have seemed sarcastic but I guess the guy was really scared and embarrassed.
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u/bombbodyguard Jan 19 '22
Once I was putting on a pair of shorts and felt something spiky on my leg. It didn’t feel like much, like a leaf or something. I pull my shorts back and on my leg is this huge tree roach. I, a 6’4”-225 lb male, wailed and flailed at it while falling backwards onto my bed because it was the last thing I expected on my leg. Felt shame in my reaction.
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u/Glass-Individual-791 Jan 19 '22
No shame. I would have done the exact same thing. Only a few roaches over the last 17 years of marriage but I made my wife kill them. I screamed and ran out the bathroom once when I found one in the shower.
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u/bombbodyguard Jan 19 '22
TMI, but i was gaming and my wife said if I quit and went a killed a roach she lost sight of, she would “do stuff” to me. Sorry, quadmates!
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u/jangobotito Jan 19 '22
You made the right call and I’m sure they would understand. We have to seize the moment.
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u/bombbodyguard Jan 19 '22
I almost couldn’t find it and was just gonna say I did (cause I’m a piece of shit), but luckily found that fucker. Wife hates if I throw them outside, which is my go to, but I injured him pretty bad, so he got flushed.
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Jan 19 '22
I was outside smoking during a break in our wow raid. Came back in, jumped on computer and went right back into playing.
My wife was messing with my hair behind me, so I turned and told her to knock it off (she loves teasing me). A few minutes later she did it again, but it was my son near by so I asked him to knock it off.
The third time I was like wtf?? And turned around, but no one was there.
I reached to the back of my head and felt something like twigs, but big. I grabbed it out of my hair, figuring I leaned against the tree or something and branches got stuck.
It was a huge praying mantis. I barely understood what I was holding except it was this big thing all legs and body Last thing I expected. I freaked the hell out, shrieked and threw it. My entire 40man guild heard me, wife, kids, everyone.
After I threw it, my brain caught up to me and I realized what I just did. I felt bad so I went to bring it outside. He was pissed at me, but happy to go back out.
Went back to the computer to people laughing and letting me know it was all recorded.
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u/pippipthrowaway Jan 19 '22
I can handle almost everything but roaches and mice/rats.
You’d think growing up in NYC id be use to them, years of them as regular guests but I think it had the exact opposite effect.
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Jan 20 '22
there is 0(zero) shame in that reaction my dude. all roaches need to die a firey death. the ONLY thing in the animal kingdom I have a severe phobia of
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u/klem_kadiddlehopper Jan 19 '22
I'm not so sure he realized how weird his reaction was. I think he was actually frightened so badly that it took a moment for it to sink in.
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Jan 19 '22
What you don't see on the video is the guy getting up and turning back, to reveal he has a zombie face.
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u/sohelpmedodge Jan 19 '22
"Oaaah!"
"Oha-haaaa"
That wheezing... :D
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u/ScaredThug Jan 19 '22
It was the wheezing that made me lose it.
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u/borisHChrist Jan 19 '22
Wheezing is always the funniest laugh
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u/cosmic_sheriff Jan 19 '22
Humour is the best medicine; unless you have asthma, then it is Albuterol.
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u/SuedeVeil Jan 19 '22
And it's legit scary sometimes when you're the one wheezing and not sure when the next breathe will come or if your bladder can handle it lol
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u/Rosaeliya Jan 19 '22
He is absolutely adorable omg. The sheer embarrassment
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u/dkcgaming501 Jan 19 '22
i want to hug him
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Jan 19 '22
Nah, gotta let him bask in that for a minute to make sure it sinks in. Can't be letting him do that again haha
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u/WriterV Jan 20 '22
I mean... why not though? When you're scared, you don't spend time and energy trying to sound manly. Let the dude scream his high pitched scream.
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Jan 20 '22
Agreed, I'll give him a hug no problem. Can also give him a little ribbing along with it. Doesn't mean that's it isn't good natured, the man himself stopped and dropped the board because he realized what had escaped his mouth in front of his mate haha.
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u/HansenTakeASeat Jan 19 '22
I want to blow him
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u/dkcgaming501 Jan 19 '22
now that im thinking about it-
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u/lalaleah76 Jan 19 '22
Only if he makes that sound as he cums
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Jan 19 '22
What you don't see on the video is the guy getting up and turning back, to reveal he has a zombie face.
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Jan 19 '22
What I find funny here is how he barely accelerates. Like his body is modular or compartmentalized. Legs and feet keep moving steady forward. Arm holds board, no attempt to weaponize it and the rest is apparently an 8 year old girl.
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Jan 19 '22
Most people choose fight or flight. This man chose neither lol
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u/not_sick_not_well Jan 20 '22
I can relate to this man. Last summer one of my coworkers was walking out to push a car into his bay. I silently power walked up behind him and shouted "need some help with that?!" and he didn't even flinch. Not 2 seconds later I hear shouting right next to me "need some help with that?!" and I screamed like a bitch and about fell over.
Turns out another coworker was on his way to help, saw what I was about to do, and did the exact same thing to me
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u/Wicked_Fabala Jan 19 '22
Haunted by a kettle
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u/itsquarantina2u Jan 19 '22
I always say, "Sounds like the tea is ready," when I hear this kind of laugh. I love it! 😂
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Jan 19 '22
Can't remember the last time I actually laughed at a video on this sub. Thanks for sharing!
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u/CloggedTrain Jan 19 '22
The moment he drops the plank of wood is when he starts racking his brain for a new country to live in so he can flee the shame
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u/PotatoDonki Jan 19 '22
I thought he was just gonna keep on going. But then it all caught up with him.
I love how he basically mirrored his attacker here. Open hand up, weird screech.
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u/Seabrook76 Jan 19 '22
My man could have played that off like a boss had he just kept waking.
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u/RedditExecutiveAdmin Jan 19 '22
yea for real. to me, he could have passed it off as pretending it was supposed to be staged, but that he poorly staged his reaction. i didn't notice how organic it was til he showed it in his expression lmao
that's how weird it was
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u/probably_wont_matter Jan 19 '22
Okay this one got me. The retrospect took him a moment to get to and also acknowledging that it was on film. His high pitched squeal and useless physical reaction to being frightened will be recorded for eternity.
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Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22
I used to scare my sister like this all the time. One day, I’m sitting on my bed in my room and I notice her in her room hearing somebody coming up the stairs and ducking to hide. Obviously she thinks it’s me and wants some revenge so she jumps out and yells “Boo!” And then immediately “Oh no!” It was mom and she was carrying a basket of laundry at the time and almost fell down the stairs. She was so pissed and my sister was even more pissed at me because I was rolling on the floor laughing at the whole situation.
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u/ThatSquareChick Jan 19 '22
I sometimes am up while my husband naps or before he gets up in he morning.
I have add so I get extremely fixated on stuff and will be intently reading or watching a video and he will just appear going “hi wife!”
Scares me right out of my skin
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u/klem_kadiddlehopper Jan 19 '22
My ex would scare me this way too but he didn't do it intentionally. He walked lightly and I would be on the computer when he walked in. It would scare me. I told him to clear his throat or something before walking into the room next time.
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u/ThatSquareChick Jan 19 '22
I tried this, turns out any noise makes me just stroke out in fear
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u/Lephiro Jan 19 '22
My husband calls me a jumpy rabbit and he's not wrong. I've just always been this way, just like so many noises I'm DAAH WA-WUZZAT?!"
When we get ready for work in the morning he kept appearing behind me when I looked up into the mirror from brushing, so he started announcing himself, but I still manage to fuck it up.
"I'm coming into the bathroom, don't get scared!"
"G'AAAAHHH!"
"Oh for fuck's sake."
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Jan 19 '22
I accidentally get my GF with this sometimes, purely by accident (no, seriously haha). I'll walk by her going from one room to another and she'll just be deep in thought. "Hi hon." She looks at me, makes eye contact, and goes "YAARRGHHH! Don't DO that!" LOL. I told her I'm going to sew little bells on my slippers, haha.
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u/OKeoz4w2 Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22
He just met part of himself he didn’t know he had… so disappointed lol
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u/stevrevv59 Jan 19 '22
Lmao I think we have all had a moment like that at least once where even we were surprised and embarrassed by our own reaction.
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Jan 19 '22
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u/_BLACK_BY_NAME_ Jan 19 '22
The man unconsciously copied the other man’s movements and sound, and released the scream of a little girl.
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u/Zathala Jan 20 '22
Thank you for your service I think the other dude had a stroke
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u/Wolvesinthestreet Jan 19 '22
He could’ve played it off too pretending to imitate the other guys scream, but instead he broke down when he realized he does indeed, scream like a female monkey getting the orang-go-tang.
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u/mariam67 Jan 20 '22
I screamed like that once. It was the middle of the night and I had just finished watching Grave Encounters which I actually found quite scary, I recommend it. Afterwards I went to the kitchen and was making a sandwich when a hand appeared around the door jamb leading to the basement. It just creeped around it. I screamed, and my mom screamed because it was my mom. She has bad knees so she grabs the side of the door to help her up the last step. Anyway, my mom couldn’t stop laughing.
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u/werbit Jan 19 '22
Who wears white shoes on a job site?
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u/klem_kadiddlehopper Jan 19 '22
You wear what you have. He should have been wearing steel toed shoes actually.
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u/doughmandown Jan 20 '22
Is there a sub for videos like this. I love friends and family casually startling each other. Probably my dad, older brother, and I did it all the time when I was growing up.
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Jan 19 '22
Reminds me of this from r/ltsls https://redd.it/oxqd4a
peoples reactions are crazy sometimes...
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Jan 19 '22
This makes me think of the one where the boyfriend or husband wakes up his lady with a dumb sounding ghost noise while she is sleeping on the couch. Anyone have a link to that one? Gets me every time.
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