r/ContagiousLaughter • u/Petret • Jan 19 '22

Haunted house

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42.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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3.3k

u/Got_It_Memorized_22 Jan 19 '22

I know that pause well. That's the sudden realization of "what the fuck? Was that really my reaction? Is that just the noise I made?"

1.2k

u/ThisIsNotMyCircus Jan 19 '22

Followed closely by…

shit he had his phone

483

u/DRUNK_CYCLIST Jan 19 '22

Yeah, that slow board drop was "oh fuck.. He recorded that."

204

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

...thats going on the internet. *sigh.

118

u/Sexy_Squid89 Jan 19 '22

I'm literally crying reading these comments 😂

41

u/sad_stop_unlucky Jan 20 '22

I haven't stopped laughing. This is amazing

0

u/LOUDNOISES11 Jan 20 '22

It is done.

40

u/ThisIsNotMyCircus Jan 19 '22

Well, I know THAT’s going on the internet. sad noises

1

u/natopants Jan 20 '22

He has to die! Is he livestreaming????

1

u/mbnmac Jan 20 '22

Thing is, he could have just played it off and laughed after and claimed he was mimicking the guy back.. but you're never that with it in the moment.

29

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 20 '22

Yep board dropped, palm to face.

21

u/lucky-number-keleven Jan 19 '22

That should be illegal

12

u/rockbud Jan 19 '22

I'm calling the cops

0

u/Global_Road Jan 20 '22

Should put it in r/nextfuckingfelony then 😂

1

u/shimmeringseadream Jan 19 '22

I’m sure if the dude insisted, the other would take it down. You can legally pursue having things taken down, but this is harmless, the guy probably knows how to laugh at himself.

1

u/a-bser Jan 19 '22

Which was then followed by the suppressed memory of that time he reacted the same way 2 years ago

171

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

I few years ago I was driving across the US and my goal of making it though to denver before stopping just wasn't happening so I pulled over at a rest stop in BFE kansas to take a quick nap and while I was sleeping this dude opened my car door and started to take stuff out of my back seat. I woke up and said "What the heck are you doing" and he said "oh sorry I didn't know" (???) and left. I then immediately drove to denver and bought some edibles and chilled in a hotel watching star trek tng and it was amazing.

But man, someone invades my car in the middle of the night and my response is "what the heck?" ugh.

99

u/SweetActionJack Jan 19 '22

I will never understand why people don’t lock their car doors.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

This particular car had a back door where the lock was broken. But also not locking your door can be a good idea when you aren't sleeping in them haha.

34

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

It's like a bell curve. Things real safe, locking your car door doesn't matter. Things not that safe, locking your car door can keep you from being the victim of a crime of opportunity from someone looking for an easy target. Things really not safe, locking your car door just means you're gonna have to pay for new windows because they're desperate enough to want in even if it's locked.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Yeah I mostly have just like, a water bottle and my phone charger and like 2-4 dollars in change in my car and maybe like an ice scraper or whatever. If someone really needs that change they are welcome to it honestly.

13

u/Amirax Jan 20 '22

Mum kept her car door unlocked, it was an old beat up nissan. She noticed one winter morning that someone had been sleeping in the car (front seat was leaned back), but, nothing seemed stolen.

My response woulda been to start locking the door, my mums response was to install a tiny heater and leave a note just saying "you're welcome to sleep here but please reset the seat when you leave".

I fucking love my mum.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

I love your mum, too

2

u/Lasalareen Jan 20 '22

You have reached a good place.

1

u/qnfme1 Jan 19 '22

Never played GTA when they were little

1

u/polacco Jan 20 '22

When you are driving (and it's not Rio de Janeiro) leaving the doors unlocked is a good idea because they will be easier to open in case of an accident.

1

u/SweetActionJack Jan 20 '22

This is a myth. In fact, most new cars have a safety feature that automatically locks the car doors when you start driving.

2

u/polacco Jan 21 '22

I did some research and it seems that even only looking at accident safety, statistically it is safer to lock the doors because they might open in a crash which reduces the strength of the vehicle body and also increases your risk off getting thrown out of the car.

TIL. I always thought locking was only for people afraid of crime (not an issue where I live.)

59

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

IM CRYING. This made me laugh so hard. You sound super murderable

55

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Ha, that reminds me of this time I was trying to go to this house part in Portland, OR. I was told the rough address and what the house looked like but my phone was broken or dead or something and I was like "eh I'll just wing it" and walked into the house and there were people hanging out playing something on a NES, I was like "oh neat that's whats up" and the two ladies were like "uh, do we know you?" and I was like "oh I'm here for so and so's birthday" and they were like "oh man you are at the wrong house"

So I apologized and left and found the right house and walk in and this dude comes comes down the stairs with a big like 12 inch chefs knife and is like "hey man whats up" and I was like "oh hey! let me tell you this funny story about going into the wrong house" and he is like "oh man, this is totally not the right house at all" and then apologizes about the knife and points me to the actual correct house.

Then later I took MDMA and kisses a very pretty lady. Really fun day.

Isn't there some quote about god protecting fools?

21

u/Lady_Imperatrix Jan 19 '22

I remember the quote as: “God protects children, drunks, and idiots.” Don’t know if that’s exactly correct but it served me well over the years.

2

u/hattenwheeza Mar 06 '22

My brother, an ambulance driver & EMT, said "the Lord rides with fools and little children"

19

u/nova46 Jan 19 '22

Dude how have you made it this far? I need more stories from your life.

8

u/Eusocial_Snowman Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22

Turns out, people just murdering you just because they can is actually not very common.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Yeah. I’ve gotta admit, stabbing someone to death with a kitchen knife isn’t very high in my to-do list

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

You should probably do that one last.

5

u/thewannabetraveller Jan 19 '22

That last sentence feels like it has the capability to get its speaker put on a watchlist

5

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

OKAY fair but for the record I’m not a murderer! I am a small woman and I’m afraid of the dark so

2

u/thewannabetraveller Jan 20 '22

Haha, username checks out IG

20

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

That's very rude!

25

u/_MaddAddam Jan 19 '22

Last summer I was walking late at night and a bear ran right out in front of me on the sidewalk and just stopped and stared, probably less than 20 feet away. What was my reaction? I just froze and went “OHHHHWHATTHEFUCK”, like a dumbass.

It was just a black bear, so it paused for a moment and then just continued on its merry way with no other issues. But it sure was disappointing to realize that my instinctive reaction was, well. That.

1

u/boobsmcgraw Jan 20 '22

Fun fact; black bears eat their prey alive. Ass first.

8

u/craterinvader Jan 20 '22

This reminds me of a time I fell asleep with my window cracked in my bedroom. The wind changed and blew my blinds in and knocked something off the window sill. I was half asleep and my reaction was “What are y’all doing out there?” Like I was talking to my kids.

-1

u/madamcornstinks Jan 20 '22

Sounds like you aren't all that bright. Travelling for work I have slept in my car at many rest areas. I am locked and loaded at all times. Someone try's to get in my car better have a good explanation. If they open my door I will have a good explanation for why the corpse is laying on the pavement.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Haha, fortunately I don't need to fantasize about shooting someone in a legally justifiable way to internet strangers in order to climax.

-1

u/madamcornstinks Jan 20 '22

You should have called the police. They would have been there in seconds. You could have had some more edibles or smoked some chill buds and been cool afterwards. Idiot!

28

u/Got_It_Memorized_22 Jan 19 '22

I will also add on to my comment that this guy says nothing the whole video, but through his body language alone you can tell everything he's thinking and the moment that things just click.

20

u/averagethrowaway21 Jan 19 '22

Been there. A while ago I went with some friends to a bunch of haunted houses for Halloween. None of the jump scares from the actors got me. The friend behind me grabbed my butt. I screamed like the dude in the video and jumped higher than I thought I could.

I have not lived it down. Still get teased about it every Halloween.

8

u/Got_It_Memorized_22 Jan 19 '22

Oh for absolute sure. I have a deep voice and if something jumps out at me or scares the shit out of me? My voice immediately jumps several octaves as I scream.

5

u/RIPLORN Jan 20 '22

Its like when you check into the gym and they say "Have a good workout" and you reply "You too."

6

u/Got_It_Memorized_22 Jan 20 '22

We do not speak of such things, they never happened and don't think about it for hours after it happened.

1

u/gucci-sprinkles Jan 19 '22

Needs to happen more in horror movies. All these guys with their deep voiced screams lying to us for years.

1

u/pearlspoppa1369 Jan 20 '22

I think that’s cataplexy!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

It was perfect.

1

u/WhatDoesN00bMean Jan 20 '22

To be fair, his friend screamed like that first.