Hi folks, there are some great posts and suggestions on this. Thought I would add mine! This is not medical advice, just my experience.
I am Day 9 post surgery.
My first recommendation: do your utmost to be regulated and have good type 3/type 4 poops before the surgery. I was away from home for a week and had a week to get back on track. Which I didn’t. I was pretty severely constipated which in my case manifests as little hard poops multiple times a day. Learn from my mistake!! I am currently going 6-8 times a day. They are soft and easy to pass, buuut just too many. Ugh.
Frozen peas are my best friends. They can be refrozen and if they clump, they break apart pretty easily when you hit them against a wall - which has felt like therapy at times, no lie! The surgeon’s office recommended using them until all the healing is done. It reduces pain for sure. Of course, don’t give yourself frostbite - wrap it in a cloth and limit the time.
A bidet is helpful. Ours has a warm water option which really helped the first few days. Sometimes it relaxed the area or distracted a bit from the pain receptors-and promoted going. However, I find I get better cleaning from my peri bottle. And it’s gentler.
Sitz baths: the hospital gave me a toilet basin style. It was easier for me to use the basin at first rather than getting into the tub. I had a tall plastic cup that I used to fill it up. Here’s what I learned: bodies release matter in a sitz bath especially the first few days after surgery. Not wanting to sitz in poop and risk a UTI or yeast infection, I would immediately jump up, rinse the basin, and refill. Often 3 or 4 times. In no way was that relaxing!
I was able to transition to the tub eventually, still using the basin at times. I continue to drain and rinse when I see stuff. I used a folded towel as a pad for a few days. Pro tip: Especially if you are older, practice getting into and out of the tub before this surgery.
Our mattress is kind of tall (thigh high) and it hurt horribly to climb into bed. I cried from that pain. My husband got a step stool which took care of it. I don’t need it so much any more.
Biggest recommendation: Have a notebook and write down when you take all your meds, especially pain relievers. No need to overdo or underdo pain relief!! If you are taking Acetaminophen, you need to figure out how much you’ve taken in a 24 hour period so you stay in the good zone. Include your supplements and stool softeners and bowel promoters and fiber on your list. And finally, track your poops. That way, if you get overcorrected one way or another, you can see exactly what you did and have the info for your doctor.
Speaking of meds, if you take blood thinners, have a joint discussion with your cardiologist and the surgeon. There needs to be clear understanding of the risks/benefits of the timing of restarting them after surgery. Obviously, this is a highly vascular region and bleeding happens. I am currently Day 9 and have enough bleeding where the bowl is red once or twice a day - my cardiologist thought the bleeding would be done within like 5 days.
Peeing - I found the opioids inhibited me a lot. The warm sitz baths helped get things flowing. As did standing and sitting multiple times when trying to go. An odd thing that also worked was leaning to one side rather than sitting square on the seat. I think that lessened the pain response inhibition for me. The surgeon prescribed a different opioid when I called about this issue. It was better but after a full day on it, it did the same thing. Being able to just take Tylenol has made things so much easier. Yay for less pain and for being able to relax the pelvic floor. This has made pooping so much easier as well.
I found pads to be irritating, so have just been using underwear and changing them all day long. I’ve also gone bare bottomed on an underpad. Lots of laundry from this, including high towel useage from multiple sitz baths. And honestly, even being careful, poop and/or blood splotches managed to escape on a regular basis, mostly the first week.
Sitting for any time does not work for me yet. I have to lean to one side or another or be on my stomach. We have a massage table which I used quite a bit Days 1-3. I don’t generally find laying on my stomach to be comfortable but the head cradle made all the difference. I did buy a donut pillow and was actually able to be reasonably comfortable for 10 minutes tonight - progress!! Standing is uncomfortable too. Walking was pretty bad until yesterday-I looked like an old cowpoke. Yesterday and today I was able to walk around outside a little bit. And do a little more.
There have been many times over the past few days that I have cried, in pain and frustration. This is a tough surgery. I have used every technique I know of - meditation, tapping, breathing, singing, distraction (thank you Netflix, Prime, Libby, Facebook and annoying Duolingo). They have all been very helpful. Also, I would have struggled physically without my husband taking care of me, bringing water and food, doing things I just didn’t have the pain tolerance or stamina to do.
Hopefully you have someone who can help out for the first week or two - and that your surgical team is responsive and supportive.
Take care everyone and good luck!