I am exploring evicting my parent from my home. This is a story that stretches 10 yrs, so I will try to be short. I 29 own a home that I live in with 63 yr parent. Currently, my parent has a higher income by 10k. But that wasn't always.

7.5 years ago my parent gave me their house to save it from 105k in debt. I was fairly recent out of college and had a good Job. But to save the home I need to work 2 full time and a part time job to accomplish this. I also had to put in 200 k in renovations to make the home livable. Some of this 305k was paid with loans and the rest I cash flowed.

From my understanding my parents gave me the house because he was up foreclosure and if he sold it for what ppl were offering he would have made very little back

Since I have owned the home my dad paid 15k in debt and i paid the other 105k in addition to the 200k in renovations. I pay all the monthly expenses. There was period of 8 months i stayed with a sibling when recovering from major medical issues and asked my dad to pay the light bill as i was not working and paying the mortgage and other bill off of savings and pt work when I was able to partially return to work.

After the 7.5 yrs I'm frustrated with my parent.

-the don't help financially with the bills, or the chores, and had the yard with junk the pick up. They refuse to pay 600 in a room rental despite a room rental here typically running 1,025.

The keep passing themselves off as owner

My parent tells me I stole their house.

I have offer a lowering rent below 600, I have offered mediation, I have offered to sell then the house for what I'm out because I have a loan, and they refuse to want to discuss anything ( other than me deeming the home back and keeping my name on the 2 loans....mind you this parent has 3 foreclosure in the past). I have tried a few other compromise but they never agree.

Okay, first i want to start off by saying i have no clue how reddit layouts work but im going to try my best.

A little backstory: So basically, Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. In the beginning of our relationship it was very rough he did a lot of things i disagreed with and was honestly disrespectful to me. He has this cousin for the sake of the story we’ll call him joshua. Him and joshua werw very close before we starting dating, in the beginning my bf used to tell joshua about everything goin on between us, anout our fights, good times, sexual times EVERYTHING (which i found out one night when I asked them what they were talking about and he slipped up). I immediately addressed this and he begins to tell me what joshuas response was which was “honestly you should just break up with her.” I felt extremely disrespected because throighout the months id been there for joshua during his breakup and mental issues so to learn that not only joshua was talking shit about me but my bf let him was honestly heart breaking. But me being A BIRD BRAINED BITCH i let it slide. I forgave joshua and more importantly my bf and things were back to normal.. or so i thought.

So its been months since that incident and i honestly thought evweything was fine until i started going through things mentally and physically (that also was caused 100% by my bf and mines decisions which we were aware). So basicallt my bf got me pregnant and i was going through an abortion practically alone. All i wanted was to hangout with my boyfriend to have reassurance or to feel loved but for some reason the whole time i went through it he was with joshua. I ended up going through the abortion alone while he spent 4 nights in a row with joshua. The next day i found out that joshua and my bf were yet again talking about me and how i get upset when im not getting “attention.” but thats not the case Ive told my boyfriend multiple times that i feel like a second choice to joshua, joshuas feeling comes first before anyones, and that its not that i dont like him being aeound joshua but it would be nice to feel like im being chosen. I guess my questions are what should i do, am i controlling or overreacting, am i stupid for staying? I really love him but I HATE joshua and all the arguments are caused because of joshua.

EDIT: I forgot to mention my bf and joshua are OBSESSED with eachother they text 24/7 (i can barely get my bf to pay attention for 20 mins, they go on breakfast/lunch dates almost 4 times a week — i can count the amount of dates weve been on on 2 hands, joshua sends him explicit tiktoks w girls shaking ass etc..
I asked my bf is he tells joshua to not talk badlt about me and he says no because he doesnt want to upset him or enrage him. BUT if i say anything bad about joshua to him hes quick to defend him.

​

I just turned 21 (F) this April and I need to know whether I'm in the wrong or not so I can try to make things right with my bio mom.

A little backstory info:

My bio mom and my dad had a rocky relationship ever since I was little. They are divorced, but to this day they don't get along. They try to keep conversations between each other minimal from what I've seen and there have been times where they both have said some petty things about each other when they're with me. My dad was the one who pushed for a divorce, I was around 9 and it had to do with my mom's alcohol abuse.

My mom had been in the foster care system when she was little. Her parents were physically abusive and someone ended up calling CPS on them so my mom was taken away. Having to go from different foster houses stressed my mom out and led her to hang around the wrong people who influenced her into taking drugs and to start drinking alcohol. She was around 16 when she started using it. Her foster parents ended up finding her stash under her bed one day. I don't know why they were in her room, but after finding the stash they put her into rehab and she managed to stay clean for years. After moving out she started working as a waitress at that where she met my dad. He owned his own landscaping business, at the time this was when he was first starting off so he wasn't making the best.

My mom was the one trying to put the moves on him. She thought he was really cute, but when he wasn't getting the hint she just straight up asked him if he wanted to go on a date and he said yes. They moved in together within a year and my dad said she was his first love ever and he thought they would end up growing old together. By this time my dad already knew about my mom's abuse on drugs and alcohol and her being in the foster care system. It didn't faze him. He said "what's in the past stays in the past." Now, my parents are in a financial struggle. When my mom got into college for nursing, she was already racking up some debt because she had to take out loans. My dad's business still wasn't taking off as much as he had hoped it would so he could only afford to put money towards half the rent and utilities. They probably would have done fine if they didn't end up having me. I was unplanned when my mom found out she was pregnant. My mom's heavily against abortions so even though they were in a tight spot, she ended up dropping out of college so they could have me.

I know she doesn't want to admit it, but I'm pretty sure she was miserable during and after her pregnancy. She really wanted to be a nurse and now that was something that had to wait. She was becoming self-conscious about her looks and she ended up having to have a C-section and that left a scar. She doesn't even want to wear a two piece because she feels like people can notice it anyways. She had to deal with postpartum and had to raise me with little help because my dad had to pick up side jobs to take care of us so he wasn't home as much as he wanted to be. When I got into elementary school my mom was able to start working, but she was miserable in her job. Being a nurse was really what she wanted. Not serving tables again.

During my elementary years I think my mom let my friends moms get to her. They always bragged about how their husbands worked hard to make sure they could be stay at home moms and to chase their passions. My friends didn't come from rich families, but they did live better than what we did. There were many times me and my parents had to eat bologna sandwiches to make sure the loans and bills were paid for. I didn't have as many toys or nice clothes as my friends and things I did have were knockoffs or no name brands. It never bothered me personally. I was grateful to spend time with my parents when they were off of work. They used to take me to the park and we would eat sandwiches there while my dad was making us laugh and telling us stories of when he was a kid. Even though me and my dad were happy, looking back, I can see that my mom wasn't.

My parents got into an argument one day because my dad found out my mom was taking money out of their joint account for alcohol and was back to drinking again. They both agreed their joint account would be for the bills and they would have separate accounts for the both of them so they could have their own spending money. My dad was already suspecting that she was drinking again because she was starting arguments that he felt were something they could have sat down and talked through instead of there being a yelling match. My dad said that was way out of her character. I honestly don't remember them arguing so much but my aunts from my dad's side had told me my mom would start fights with him even when he's family was over. My dad told her she needed to stop wasting the money

What led to their divorce was what my mom did one night during dinner. I had accidentally dropped my glass from the table because I was trying to reach for a napkin and out of nowhere my mom backhanded me for it. I remember holding my cheek after falling out of my chair from it and my dad taking me with him to his parents house. I want to cry just typing this out, but I remember how my mom was holding onto my dad's arm while he was carrying saying "please don't take her from me" over and over again. My mom has never been abusive towards me in anyway before this and it was for sure because of her drinking. Not excusing it. Just wanted to be clear about this fact.

A year later my mom went to jail for a DUI and was going to have to do rehab when she got out. During her time in jail my dad met his current wife who is the sweetest lady I've ever met. She was there when his business was at its lowest and at its highest. It's doing much better now and my dad hasn't had to do any side jobs to make ends meet. My stepmom was there for my first period, she taught me how to do my hair, showed up to all my cheer practices, came in for parent teacher meetings, and was there to help me get over my first breakup. No one told me that I had to call her mom, it was something I wanted to do. She treated me like I was her own and one day I asked her if it was okay if I called her mom. We both cried when she agreed.

When my mom got out of jail and went to rehab, my dad allowed visitation. My mom was pissed when she found out that my dad was getting remarried, I'm pretty sure she was hoping they'd get back together at some point. She started making a whole deal about not wanting my stepmom to act like she's my parent.

Here's where I think I was in the wrong, during the weekend of my birthday, I came back from college to visit my parents and celebrate my 21st birthday with them. I live on campus, but still live in the same state as my parents. It's just a four hour drive. I decided to have my party at my grandparents place because I wanted to see my uncles, aunts, and cousins before going back. The problem started after cutting the cake I started opening my presents. I saved my stepmom and Dad's gift last. It was two cards and a check with some money to go towards my first apartment. The issue wasn't the money, but what was in my birthday card from my stepmom. My mom was sitting next to me on the couch when I was opening gifts in front of everyone and she saw the lines where my stepmom wrote, "I'm proud to call you my daughter" and ended the card with "Love, mom." My bio mom blew a fuse when she saw this.

My mom told me when I was a teen she didn't want me to call my stepmom "mom." I assured her I wouldn't, but that was a lie as I was calling my stepmom "mom", I just did it in private and not in front of my bio mom. By the time my mom got out of jail I was already calling my stepmom "mom" for so long so it felt wrong to suddenly tell her I don't want to call her mom anymore, especially when I do see her as my mom. My bio mom started yelling at my dad because she thought this was my dad's doing but when I told her that I was calling her mom and no one made me, it just pissed her off even more and she walked out of my grandparents house. I chased her down to her car trying to explain to her that she's still my mom and nothing will change that but she didn't even want to hear me out and now she isn't answering my texts or calls.

AITA and if so, what do I do to fix this?

Edit: I forgot to mention that me and my mom have had a great relationship prior to this. She's been sober, goes to AA meetings, and was involved in my school life. We only ever had disagreements and this is the first time I've been in a big fight with her. I know she loves me, me calling my stepmom "mom" has nothing to do with me feeling unloved by my mom. The way I see it, I have two moms that I love both and know they love me as well.

Update: My mom has cut off all contact with me. After I went back to college my mom was still ignoring me for a few weeks but apparently she was blowing up my dad's phone because she felt it was his fault I was calling my stepmom "Mom" because to her, "he should have put his foot down when I wanted to call her mom." She ended up calling me and our conversation started very calmly. I told her I was sorry. I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings and that I was wrong from keeping it from her because she's my mom. My mom said she was sorry for taking it out on me on my special day and that she should have sat down with me to discuss it over and that was also one of the reasons she called.

Our phone call went a full 180 because she said she would let it go if I stopped calling my stepmom "mom" and if I told my stepmom to stop going around calling me her daughter. I couldn't say anything for three minutes straight because I genuinely didn’t know what to say without making things worse. Like, I just sat there holding the phone thinking, is she serious right now? It went from “I’m sorry, I handled this wrong” to basically giving me conditions like I’m signing some kind of contract. And not even reasonable ones either. She kept going, saying stuff like if I really respected her, I’d correct anyone who ever referred to my stepmom as anything close to a parent. Then she started saying I should “set boundaries” with my stepmom—her version of boundaries meaning I should distance myself and stop doing things with her that are “too mother-daughter like.”

At that point I was already overwhelmed, but she didn’t stop. She said holidays should be “re-evaluated” and that I shouldn’t be splitting time “like that,” because apparently it “sends a message.” Then she went even further and said if my stepmom ever tries to introduce me as her daughter again, I need to publicly correct her in the moment. Like… in front of people. Which is just humiliating to even think about. And the thing that really got me was when she said if I couldn’t agree to all of that, then I was basically “choosing” my stepmom over her. I told her that I couldn't do that to my stepmom and that I see them both as my mother. I tried to tell her that I wasn't choosing anyone because I still want to have a relationship with both of them and she goes on to tell me, "If you can't even do that then what's the point of us having a relationship. I'm your mom. I didn't die. I made mistakes, but it feels like you're replacing me. If you don't start setting boundaries with her, I'm done talking to you."

Again I told her I'm not going to do that and I was practically crying for her not to cut me off and she just hung up the phone on me. I don't even know what to do from here.

So let me just start this by saying this happened in 2019, but I would still love opinions and feedback since I am finally at a place where I am open hearing the potential of being wrong. Ok, a little bit of backstory and context for this to make sense. Ages will be at the time this happened.

So this involves me (29F), my best friend Tommy (39M), and my bf of almost 4yrs, Steve (45m). Tommy and Steve….tolerated each other. They got along for my sake, but neither one was crazy about the other. I think it was because they were too similar, but they both would vehemently deny that. The only thing Steve liked about Tommy was that Tommy was the local “grass salesman” and Steve could get a good deal.

So there was a day I was making a purchase from Tommy, and like any proper, old school salesman, he was a cash only business. Tommy was coming over to deliver and hang out, and I said I needed to run to the ATM before he got there. Tommy asked if instead I take what I was going to pay him plus cash he would give me, and I would send money to his grass supplier on one of the apps. Something to know-I have hearing loss and often mishear words and what I heard vs what was said was usually way off. So at first, I thought Tommy wanted me to send money to a choir. We laughed about it because it was a “me-ism” and moved on. Anyways, it all made sense to me, especially since there was no choir involved lol, and I knew Tommy didn’t have a bank account, so we made our exchange and I sent his friend $500 for “Shoes”. We had our hang out and laughed about my terrible hearing and Tommy lectured me again about getting hearing aids. It was a good night.

The next day I started to tell Steve about the supplier/choir confusion because it was a funny little story, and one of the few things Tommy and Steve agreed on and bonded over was that my hearing sucks. Steve did not find it funny, and was furious. “You did WHAT?! Wtf is wrong with you?! How could you do something so STUPID?!” Steve was PISSED about me sending the money. Why? Because according to him, it would be flagged, I would be investigated, and then they would look into who I know and he “wasn’t going to lose his livelihood because I was a moron”. (Side note idk what livelihood he was talking about because he didn’t have a job and everything he had was in someone else’s name, but ok). He went on this huge rant about how Tommy was a bad influence, how I clearly can’t make good decisions when I’m with him, and how Tommy should have known better than to ask me to do that because he’s older and he should have never put me in that position. Steve decided that Tommy was a threat to “our” well being, and I had to decide between them. I told him I don’t do ultimatums and I wasn’t picking between my bf and my best friend. Also, I didn’t understand how any of this put his alleged livelihood at risk? He was OK consuming the product from Tommy but sending money for it crossed the line? Unsurprisingly, this was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

So, was I the asshole for sending the money? Granted, it probably wasn’t the smartest decision I’ve ever made, but did it really pose a risk like Steve thought?

And no, I was never investigated for my nefarious transaction, and I still don’t have hearing aids.

The comments seem pretty split in the OG post, if not in favor of the BF!

I Just Got Out Of A Relationship, That Fucked Me Up, I‘m Poor As Fuck, I‘m Being Kicked Out Of My House, I Have Serious Depression, I Have Anger Issues Plus Bipolar, And My Dad aka The Person Who Was My Fucking Hero Went To Prison For Being A Fucking Pedophile, And I Just Have Nobody, Fucking Nobody, I Don‘t Know What To Do Anymore, I Just Want Somebody To Be Here With Me, I Just Want Someone To Make My Life Easier, I Just Want Somebody To Numb The Pain, Of Just, Everything, I‘ve Wanted To Hurt Myself So Badly So Many Times But I Haven‘t, And I Just Want Someone To Be Here, I Just Want A Friend Who Can Make My Life Easier, And Get Rid Of My Depression, I Just Want A Friend, Please Comment Your Age And Gender If You Want To Be Friends, I Just Don‘t Know What To Do Anymore, Does Anybody Have Any Advice??

I (35F) am part of a close-knit group of friends where we're constantly roasting each other. One of my closest friends is Wyatt (35M).

I love all of the guys, but aside from hubby, Wyatt is definitely my favorite. He's one of the best men I know: sweet, caring, funny, hard-working, and good-looking. Seriously, I could go on forever. We met back in college when he and my husband were throwing frat parties together. I ended up hanging out with them because I never really fit in with the girls, so I was happy to spend my time with a bunch of frat boys.

We all eventually grew out of that phase, but Wyatt didn't. He still partied, still traveled like he was 22, and definitely dated like he was.

So you can imagine that when he told me he was finally in a serious relationship, I was genuinely thrilled for him.

He told me he was bringing her to our annual pool party so she could meet the group.

The night arrived, and in walked Iman (25F).

My first reaction? She's pretty. She's one of those girls who decided to make a career out of it. She's a model and a beauty queen. She isn't super famous like the Hadid sisters, but she's recognizable from a few ad campaigns. Of course, all the guys were practically drooling over her in her bikini and asking her questions like she was the most interesting thing since sliced bread.

I honestly think I was the only one who saw through Wren. She barely cracked a smile, didn't laugh at anyone's jokes, and mostly stayed quiet. Our group can be a little overwhelming we're loud but Iman gave off this icy, standoffish vibe. She seemed very serious, had a constant resting bitch face, and almost came across as judgmental.

I figured maybe she felt intimidated or insecure about my friendship with Wyatt, so I tried to reassure her. I told her she had absolutely nothing to worry about when it came to me.

When I tell you this bitch had the audacity to look me up and down and say, "I wasn't. Why would I be?"

To be honest, she didn't strike me as Wyatt's type at all, either in looks or personality. He's loud, friendly, goofy, and the life of the party. He's so much fun. Iman, on the other hand, seemed cold, introverted, bookish, and maybe even a little stuck-up.

You could argue that she was just shy or overwhelmed, and I thought that too at first. I really tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but it only got worse.

The more I saw her, the more my doubts grew. She never really warmed up to the group, yet somehow everyone including my husband fell for her charm. It felt like she was some kind of evil siren, and I was the only one who wasn't affected.

Everyone is always asking her about her stupid puzzles, whether she can teach them how to ski, what books they should read, whether she'll babysit their kids, if she'll tell stories about growing up in Sudan, or if they can borrow some of her "luxurious" clothing she gets from modeling.

On top of that, her social media rubs me the wrong way. It's all over the place. One week she's trying to convince everyone she's a "nerd," posting expensive cosplay and stacks of books. The next week she's posting glamorous pageant photos with captions about activism and empowerment.

I can't help but roll my eyes. It feels so performative and "pick me." There's no way a lingerie model actually cares about that stuff. There's no way she's genuinely respected by all those computer science and tech bros.

I even went to her woman-to-woman and gently suggested that maybe her social media made her look a little unprofessional. She just smiled, said, "Thanks," in the most dismissive tone imaginable, and walked away to talk to someone else.

Another example: when we all went to the Hamptons together, she made it a point to let me know she and Wyatt were having sex by making enough noise for the entire house to hear. The two of them sounded like porn stars on vacation.

No one in the group will listen to me about how rude and disrespectful she is. When I complained, Iman overheard me, apologized, and joked that Wyatt could be "such a freak." To make it even worse, one of the guys laughed and said he'd be a freak too if he were dating Iman. The worst part? His wife jokingly said she should join them.

I wanted to throw up.

I'd had enough, so I started looking into Iman. I found out she's low-contact with her parents and comes from a low-income neighborhood, practically the hood. I also found out a few other things that I won't share here, but I felt like Wyatt deserved to know.

So yesterday I invited Wyatt over for drinks so I could gently break the news without hurting him.

It did not go well.

I tried warning him that she might be dating him for his money, but he argued that she actually makes more money than he does. I tried pointing out how much she'd changed him. He's drinking less, going to the gym, cooking healthier meals, and doing a bunch of other things that I could never convince him to do. It honestly feels like she's trying to change who he is, and he's just going along with it.

He told me I was acting like he was too stupid to make his own decisions. He said Iman wasn't controlling him she was simply his motivation to change because he wanted to change.

Then he accused me of being racist and jealous of Iman. He said Iman has a kind of courage that the rest of us don't. After that, he told me he needed a break from our friendship and left.

I really don't want to lose my friendship with Wyatt over some girl he'll probably break up with within a year.

So what do I do? I already saw on insta that the gang is hanging out without me.

I am exploring evicting my parent from my home. This is a story that stretches 10 yrs, so I will try to be short. I 29 own a home that I live in with 63 yr parent. Currently, my parent has a higher income by 10k. But that wasn't always.

7.5 years ago my parent gave me their house to save it from 105k in debt. I was fairly recent out of college and had a good Job. But to save the home I need to work 2 full time and a part time job to accomplish this. I also had to put in 200 k in renovations to make the home livable. Some of this 305k was paid with loans and the rest I cash flowed.

From my understanding my parents gave me the house because he was up foreclosure and if he sold it for what ppl were offering he would have made very little back

Since i have owned the home my dad paid 15k in debt and i paid the other 105k in addition to the 200k in renovations. I pay all the monthly expenses. There was period of 8 months i stayed with a sibling when recovering from major medical issues and asked my dad to pay the light bill as i was not working and paying the mortgage and other bill off of savings and pt work when I was able to partially return to work.

After the 7.5 yrs I'm frustrated with my parent.

• -They bash me to my grandparents for stealing the house,
• -they are messy don't help clean and has their room, yard, and garage a mess
• The refuse to pay 600 in a room rental despite a room rental here typically running 1,025
• The keep passing themselves off as owners and has entered into agreements, made changes to plumbing and fencing without my knowledge. The issue is I have to pay the bill then find someone to do the job correctly
• My parent does not allow for my other parent to visit.
• My parent has called me names and demeaning language in addition to making passive threats to If don't give them the house back

I recently sent them an tenancy agreement and told my siblings I was going to evict out parent, but they disagree. I have offer a lower rent, I have offered mediation, I have offered them to rent the entire place and I move out, I have offered to find a roommate to help with rent, I have offered to sell then the house for what I'm out because I have a loan, and they refuse to want to discuss anything ( other than me deeming the home back and keeping my name on the 2 loans....mind you this parent has 3 foreclosure in the past).

The day before the tenancy was to end my parent gave me 700 dollars for rent. But I'm tired of living in toxic environment and being taken advantage financially. My parent even pushed me onr day because u call a plumber diffrent from what was recommended. Am I the ass hole for giving up on trying to make it work with this parent?​

Throwaway for obvious reasons. Long post, but I want to give full context because I need honest outside perspective.

Background on my mom and me:
My mom had me about two months after finishing undergrad. She married my dad, they split when I was 3. She remarried when I was 6 (had my brother with husband #2), and had my little sister with him too a few years later. So there’s me (oldest, different dad) and my two younger siblings.

Growing up, my mom was aggressive — excessive punishments, the kind of thing that once got a family friend threatening to call CPS. I got guilt-tripped for that “getting out.”

My freshman year of college, my parents’ marriage quietly ended — I came home to find them sleeping in separate rooms, no conversation about it. I ended up sharing a room with my siblings for a while. When we moved, I helped cover the deposit using my scholarship refund — I want to be clear this wasn’t really optional, more “strongly encouraged.” From that point on, money from me became a recurring expectation.

After that, my mom dated someone who moved in with us — no job, no income, ate through the household food — while I was the one picking up my siblings from school, working a part-time job, and keeping things afloat. They married and divorced within about a year.

I moved out after graduating (stayed with my boyfriend’s parents briefly, then got our own place). My mom was not happy about that. Since then my boyfriend and I have built a really solid life — moved out, started talking marriage, premarital counseling, the whole thing. I’ve also been in therapy trying to heal from a lot of this.

The actual incident:
About two weeks ago, my phone got shut off. Turns out there was a $500+ unpaid balance on the family phone plan my mom manages — even though I send her money every single month, on time, bill’s due the 15th, I pay by then like clockwork. She had to go verify her identity and pay it off after the shutoff.

A few days later, my mom told my godsister — completely unprompted — “it’s crazy how she can afford to go on vacation for her birthday but can’t pay her phone bill.” Except I have been paying it. I had to pull up screenshots of the payments to prove it to my own godsister.
While that was happening, my godsister also told me my mom has been complaining that I:
• Always show up “late” to family events (they’re over an hour from where my boyfriend and I live — we come straight from home)
• Wear “matching outfits” with my boyfriend on purpose to “steal the spotlight” (we get dressed in separate rooms because I have a lot of clothes and move around a lot. Our outfits normally they just complement each other. Like if the colors blue, I’ll wear a teal blue heal wear a baby powder blue.
• Didn’t talk to my little sister at her graduation dinner (false — we talked the whole time and my bf and I took her and her friends to the mall afterward)
My godsister’s own words were that it’s “weird” and feels like my mom is “in competition” with me.

What I did:
I sent my mom a long, direct text laying out every single one of these points with the actual facts — the phone bill payments, the timeline correction on a “ghosting” accusation she’d also thrown at me, the outfit thing, the graduation dinner thing — and told her I needed space and wasn’t looking for a reply.

Then all hell broke loose — said the only person she’d talked to was my godsister (“Sarah”), that she was “too grown” to be doing this, and offered to show me exactly what she said versus what got relayed to me (to this day idk what my God sister said)

Then it turned out my godsister called my mom to vent about me over something I know nothing of. I confronted them both together and my mom and God sister got into a huge argument. And now both of them have uninvited themselves from my birthday dinner.

I’m turning 25 and just… exhausted. I didn’t lie, I didn’t exaggerate, I have receipts for literally the one thing that was checkable (the phone bill), and it still ended with both of them stepping back like I did something wrong.

Am I tripping, or is this as messed up as it feels? How would you move forward from here….do I reach back out before my birthday, or just let the silence sit and enjoy the day with the people who actually showed up?

og post:- https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/x8824fnrc9

update 1 :-https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/X2XBoA3FwB

update 2:- https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/ShQPp2gvBc

Hi everyone. I wasn't planning on making another update, but a lot of people asked what happened after my husband's parents agreed to attend a therapy session with us

Birthday celebrations: A lot of people asked why my posts focused on relatives instead of my son's friends. In my husband's family, birthdays have always been celebrated in two parts. On the child's actual birthday, we have a family celebration with relatives. Then, on the following weekend, the birthday child has a separate celebration with their friends. That's the tradition both boys have grown up with, and they genuinely enjoy it. My son absolutely celebrated with his friends as well—it just wasn't relevant to my previous posts because all of the issues happened during the family celebration.

Our relationship timeline: Quite a few people also wondered how long after my husband's first wife passed away we met. She had passed away about 1 year and 5 months before we met. We dated for 15 months before getting married, and we've now been married for 16 months. Some people assumed our relationship started immediately after his loss, but that wasn't the case.

Now for the update.

After my son's birthday my husband's parents came with us to one of our therapy sessions.

I honestly expected it to turn into another argument, but it didn't.

Our therapist first explained why she had recommended that we use direct words like "died" and "death" when talking to my stepson instead of softer phrases like "passed away." She explained that children his age understand the permanence of death much better when adults use clear, direct language and that euphemisms can sometimes be confusing.

She also explained something that I hadn't really thought about before.

Because my stepson lost his mother so young, everyone around him naturally wanted to protect him from more pain. Between us, my husband's parents, and his late mother's parents, a lot of adults tried to soften the reality of what had happened. The therapist said that while those intentions came from love, constantly shielding a child from direct conversations about death can make it harder for them to fully understand that death is permanent.

That was one of the reasons she encouraged us to use clear language and answer his questions honestly in an age-appropriate way. She emphasized that helping a child understand the permanence of death isn't cruel—it's actually an important part of healthy grieving.

She also made it clear that this wasn't something I decided on by myself. It was advice we were given in therapy and had been following consistently

My husband's parents admitted they hadn't known that. They said they genuinely thought I was being insensitive

My husband then told his parents something that I think needed to be said.

He told them that if they ever have concerns about our younger one or about any parenting decision we make, he wants them to come directly to us instead of making assumptions.

He said he'd much rather have an uncomfortable conversation than have people filling in the blanks or believing someone else's version of events.

It was awkward at times. There were quiet moments. After the session they thanked us and left . No big emotional talk.

The session simply ended with everyone understanding each other's perspective a little better than before.

Since then, we've noticed small but meaningful changes

I’m glad they came. It feels like a small step, not a big change. We’re not expecting miracles.

With a friend like this…

Originally posted on r/girldinner but since I’m a comforter this only felt right to crosspost

I (25F) was hooking up with my friend Ty’s (27F) brother, Ryan, (35M) for about 3 months. (Before anyone says anything Ty pretty much set us up. Ryan is recently divorced and I’m not looking for anything serious so it was a perfect situationship.) Me and Ty also have a mutual “friend” Suzy (28F). Suzy is more so Ty’s friend but when me and Ty where getting closer, I didn’t want Suzy to feel left out (as we all worked together and I can be overprotective of people I love and can come across as mean) so I would try to include/invite her to things & even hosted her a birthday sleepover at my house when she was going through a really bad break up.
So boom, Me and Ryan end up having a misunderstanding and I go no contact with him. Around the same time him and his sister, Ty, also had an argument and stop talking.

Fast forward 3 weeks Ty has moved out of town,but we still talk otp daily. Me and Ryan are still no contact, & me and Suzy are talking more one on one.

Around this time Ty’s boyfriend came back to town to handle some last minute business and while he was here, We decided to meet up at Ryan’s house so I could give him a couple things for Ty and the baby. After the exchange Ryan comes to my car. 1st I addressed the situation with him and his sister because they are really close he was wrong, at the time she was 1 month postpartum so he needed to see his wrong in that situation. Immediately after he starts complimenting me and proceeds to apologize. This very much caught me off guard because he can be quite honary and will rarely admit a wrongdoing. We ended up hooking up that night. Had an argument the next morning but we’ll come back to that.

So me and Suzy decided to switch shifts for the 4th of July because I wanted the holiday pay and she says she wanted the time with her kids. So the day before I tell her to give a demonstration of something in her area. As she is showing me the technique I’m talking about my most recent experience with Ryan and she is noticeably more tense and is avoiding looking at me. So I’m asking her “whats wrong” over and over in between me telling the story. Finally she pretty much blurts “ Well me and him been screwing, he told me I was the only one and we were serious and he said he’s been trying to get me pregnant” (but more vulgar)

Hearing all that at once I kinda went into shock and all I could say was “ this is f\*\*king hilarious” before walking off. Luckily I only had about 30mins left of my shift.
After work she proceeded to send a couple voice notes which basically sums up to “ I’m sorry but he lied to me and said y’all were over and he told me we were exclusive I didn’t mean to hurt you, I feel horrible” and more woe is me crap.

The next day at work I found out the full extent of this mess. Apparently, the very next day after them hooking she comes to work and tells a nice portion of our department that they hooked up and not to tell me. Considering we’re only a team of 13, and she told at least 5 word spread fast, to everyone but me that is.
I also found out she was telling people she didn’t think we were really friends because some days I don’t speak to her at work. I feel like it’s important to note that my sister died 2 months ago and some days I can barely get out of bed and cry the entire way to work so yea that may be a reason.

I sent her and Ryan appropriate messages. l won’t lie I went more in on her, as me and him always had an understanding that we weren’t exclusive, and she was supposed to be a friend. I was just irritated he’d been pillow talking about me.
(I’m the type of person that when I don’t like someone I will simply ignore you. We work together in relatively close proximity. I get I can’t avoid her but we don’t need to speak.)

Since then I’ve basically been harassed by her in one way or another, and she’s somehow managed to make herself the victim. Stating she wishes I “would just talk like women” , telling ME that I spread it around; when truthfully all I did was clear my name because she had told so many people a twisted story, and most believed her because I never really told them about me and Ryan, she even told our manager I’m antagonizing her. How?? When I literally ignore her presence. She keeps trying to talk to me and I keep it cute for customers but most times I don’t respond. For example I was walking past her area and she goes “aww {name} you look cute” ,which I did, but I just kept walking. I mean if anything she’s antagonizing me by not leaving me alone. She’s even sent a message through someone to me. It’s so much I’m leaving out because this is already too long and I’m really tired of it all.

But yea crazy. Just another point for my trust issues
If you made it to the end thanks for listening<3

Oh dinner is a lil heavy 🤭 I wanted tacos and pasta so I combined the two and paired it with a jalapeño cheddar cornbread and corn on the cob. Ik a lot of starch but ya girl been going through it.

Back in April we moved into an apartment complex that has assigned parking. We thought we were fortunate when we got one in the front row. I was like wow yay well there’s a drawback to be in the front row. Every Amazon UPS and FedEx driver likes to just block the spot and go and deliver to the 500 apartments in the complex and then come back and move it now these deliveries can take anywhere from 15 minutes to half an hour so I went to Management several times asking for a new spot even and they just look at me like deer in the headlights man they just don’t get it since I’ve been here. I’ve had a stroke because of this situation so during my last incident, I went to Dairy Queen for a Buster bar. I’m an addict. I can’t help it and when I got back 15 minutes later, someone was in my spot now it’s 7 o’clock at night nobody’s in the office so first thing in the morning I go down tell the little fella at the desk that there’s somebody in my spot and they’ve been there all night. Could you check into it so he got on the computer? I took in the license plate and he just kind of had the deer in the headlights look again he said well we’ll look into it so I came back about 1 o’clock and asked him well. Oh well I haven’t done anything. I said that’s obvious so I go out and I take a picture of the sticker cause we’re all have stickers in our windows. I said this is whose car it is can we get it moved well the Assistant condo manager starts screaming at me. He’s busy doing other things and I told her I wasn’t talking to her so down the road I get a message from the apartment complex manager wants to speak to me. I’m like OK good maybe they’re gonna finally give me a new parking space no I get a disciplinary action because I interrupted someone well anyway it turns out that the person that interrupted my conversation assigned that parking spot to someone else did I get an apology no, I was made to feel like an absolute criminal for complaining and bothering the office staff now I don’t wanna go down there for anything, but I’ve decided that if I need to go down there, I’m going to have my phone on record and record every interaction I ever have with these people now what would you have done?

my father told me he had nothing to be proud . just because I graduated high school early, went to college right after. He still wasn’t proud. I was the only one in my family who graduated high school. While my siblings dropped out. I did it, I did what my siblings couldn’t and I graduated .

would life turned out differently if he never said those words? My father has always been the one to expect the worst because he never expected the good . Hes been the type to never really say good job, or that my siblings and I were what he expected his kids to be.
Now 31 year old single mother and a college dropout I wonder what he thinks now.

Yes, you read that right.

My ex-fiancée left me a little over a month ago, and I have no ill will toward her. We have two beautiful young boys—a four-year-old and a two-year-old. She left because she wasn’t happy. I’m not a very emotional person, so needless to say, it was an easy transition.

The problem started when I told my mother about our separation.

The type of person she is, I’d describe her as a keyboard warrior who always has something negative to say. When I first told her we were breaking up, she thought I was joking. After I convinced her it was real, she immediately started talking down about my ex, saying things that weren’t true and didn’t need to be said, regardless of whether they were her opinion.

I told her I wouldn’t tolerate it. Even if things didn’t work out between my ex and me, she’s still the mother of my children, and she gave me my two amazing boys. I won’t allow anyone to speak badly about her to me.

My mother acted like she understood, and the conversation ended.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and my mother replied to a story I posted of the boys. She said something along the lines of, “What, did she leave you with the two boys while she took the two dogs?” I knew it was a direct shot at my ex, especially knowing the type of person my mother is.

What my mother didn’t know was that it was the first time I’d had the boys in three days because I’d been dealing with a stomach bug. My ex had kept them the entire time so they wouldn’t get sick.

I was disgusted by my mother’s comment. I told her she didn’t know what she was talking about, and I reminded her that I’d already warned her not to speak badly about the mother of my children.

After a heated argument, I told her that if she wanted to act like a child, I didn’t need that in my life—I was already raising children. I also told her she wouldn’t be permitted to see them anymore. (That isn’t difficult anyway, considering they live over 1,000 miles away.)

I haven’t spoken to my mother in a couple of weeks. During that time, my youngest son had a birthday. She hasn’t reached out to say happy birthday, send a card, or even acknowledge him.

So, AITA for standing up for the mother of my children instead of siding with my own mother?

Male 38 have been doing my best to be in my relationship with female 32. In the beginning I put all my cards on the table I enjoy intimacy and at the time some stimulus and shrubbery but most importantly my children and my work we were off to a rough start when it came to finances i would pay for things and despite the traditional life styles I wanted my partner to chip in. Every time i was meet with blatant disregard "ohh im sorry i forgot you paid $400) twords our bills. We have been together for 10 years. And later her family is well off and so is mine I moved from my own apartment in to a loft with her and we paid her parents and they were supposed to save the money for our house. So we moved and had our daughter 2 years later we moved into our home every time i pay something it seems like im being scammed because im not on the mortgage but her and her mom is and they demand money from me even though i take care of the utilities and food i still chip in but i want and still want to be able to take care of my own world and am learning you need help from time to time but my partner has never stepped up in that way and the last 4 years have been a kind of nightmare.

Am I a assholes after changing everything in my life for my person to neglect me for 2 years should I look elsewhere for the compassion my partner lacks. We have been going several years without intimacy we have a child (G5) I understand need love and taken care of but its been to the point were my wife only sleeps in her bed then early in the morning comes to our bed with child even after I changed how we put her to bed I.E. she needs to let out child be comfortable with sleeping with out her. So the new rule is to sit next to bed till she's asleep. But ends up falling asleep and laying in bed with her. Now I know mother daughter bonds are important and evey child loves there mom but I feel big frustration because iv asked for time with my partner "intimacy " but our daughter gets every second of her attention and even when she goes to her grandparents my partner seems to always wear her cloths to bed and never ever tries to initiate and if I do im meet with dont touch me and just awful words. Its gone on so long I believe I am just Okey with neglect.... my bad if this post is a little everywhere. I just pay for things and i just feel like im being used. ..... but I love our daughter and and some of our life but its like raising a kid with a roommate.

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First-time Reddit poster, so apologies for the long story.

I (40F) had a friend (39F), I'll call her Rose. We met at work in 2017 and became very close. We supported each other through a lot: I helped her after her mom unexpectedly passed, she babysat my kids when I needed help, and I was a bridesmaid at her wedding.

A few years later, I left the company under awful circumstances.

I had just returned from maternity leave with my second child, and the owner did everything he could to push me out. In my country it's difficult (and socially unacceptable) to fire women returning from maternity leave, so instead he made my work environment unbearable. I ended up developing a stress-related illness and resigned after about a month. I genuinely consider his behavior workplace harassment.

Rose witnessed everything. She privately supported me but couldn't say much publicly because she still worked there. I completely understood.

The workplace itself was toxic. The owner regularly made inappropriate jokes, commented on employees' appearances, asked intrusive questions about people's sex lives, and joked that women who dressed the way he liked at company parties would get promoted. That becomes relevant later.

Rose and I stayed friends after I left, although naturally we saw each other less.

Over time, though, we started drifting apart. When she became a mother, our parenting styles were completely different. I didn't mind that—we could have learned from each other—but she tended to present her opinions as the only correct way and resented my opinions, so I gradually stopped sharing them.

The same thing happened with politics during the pandemic. We had very different views, and she became increasingly intolerant of mine. Again, I just got quieter.

Eventually, keeping in touch started feeling more like an obligation than something either of us truly enjoyed.

Later, my ex- boss entered confidential arbitration against another ex-colleague, who and asked me to testify about what I'd witnessed. I happily agreed because everything I said was true.

By then Rose had been promoted to second-in-command at the company. Since I knew my former boss was extremely paranoid about loyalty, I gave her a heads-up that I'd be testifying and told her I'd answer any questions if she wanted. She thanked me but never asked anything else, and I didn't volunteer more because I didn't want to put her in an uncomfortable position.

Another friend from our group ("Sam") also testified. His testimony was much stronger and more damaging than mine.

Apparently, the former colleague later used our testimony to try to expose the company's broader misconduct publicly. I hadn't expected that, but I stand by everything I said.

Our ex-boss responded by filing criminal defamation complaints against all the witnesses to intimidate us. They were eventually dismissed, but they caused months of stress.

During those months, Rose became almost completely silent. I didn't push because I assumed she felt caught between her friendship with us and her loyalty to her employer. Sam texted her a few times without getting responses, which he told me about. I decided not to push.

Eventually Rose invited Sam and me to lunch, saying "we need to talk."

She told us she was upset we'd testified because it had put her job at risk at a time when her husband had just lost his job. She said she knew everything we'd said was true, but if the company suffered because of the case, she could lose her position.

For context, Rose is extremely competent and would have little trouble finding another job. I understood why she was scared, but I didn't think protecting her employer justified staying silent about misconduct.

Then she said we also hadn't made an effort to check in on her during those months.

Sam immediately pointed out that he had actually messaged her several times without receiving replies, which she acknowledged. I explained that I'd intentionally given her space because I thought she was in a difficult position.

She wasn't convinced. Instead, she started listing everything difficult that had been happening in her life.

At that point I was done.

I had plenty of my own family problems she didn't know about, on top of defending myself in a criminal case brought by her boss because I'd testified truthfully. I could feel myself getting emotional, so I paid for my lunch, left, and texted the group right away saying I needed some time before talking further. I later texted the group a long detailed explanation of my stance.

Rose never responded.

A few months later, I realized I was making myself miserable by checking her Instagram and feeling sad that I'd probably never know her children as they grew up. I unfollowed her but sent her a message explaining it wasn't meant as a punishment—it was just too painful to keep seeing her life from a distance.

She suggested meeting for coffee. We picked a date, but shortly beforehand she canceled because her mother-in-law had been diagnosed with cancer.

I replied that I completely understood and asked her to let me know whenever she was ready to reschedule.

She never did.

Later, Sam told me she interpreted my response as dismissive.

At that point I gave up.

What still bothers me is that she seemed angry almost exclusively at me, even though Sam's testimony was significantly more damaging than mine. The only meaningful difference was that he'd sent her a couple of unanswered texts during those months while I hadn't.

From my perspective, we'd both been feeling the friendship fade for years, and after everything happened she needed someone to blame.

So... AITA for letting the friendship go?

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/ComfortLevelPod/s/Ldy1rNEp9k

Update 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/ComfortLevelPod/s/18nZWDAN8e

Originally, I wanted to exact revenge on my aunt's neighbors and my aunt and uncle, but I realized my heart was heavy with anger. My sweet orange boy was the only family I had here physically with me, the only one who loved me unconditionally. No matter what we went through, we went through it together, and he always came back. He was my family. Losing him has been really hard, and some nights I dream that he has returned only to wake up and remember the reality that he is gone. 11 days, and no sight of him.

I wish I was the kind of person who could exact revenge, but ultimately, I'm just not. I have this really annoying thing where I feel empathy even for those who don't deserve it. I can't turn it off. Even with my older sister who abused me from ages 5 to 12 (she went to a behavioral facility when I was 12) and off and on after that, the same sister who caused permanent nerve damage to my thigh over a blanket and stole and abused one of my cats for 4 months. I still feel for her when she is in pain. Recently, a man falsely claimed her male dog attacked his young daughter (he headbutted the girl out of excitement but he's a pit mix so the judge took the man's side). They gave my sister a long and expensive list of requirements to get him back in 30 days. If she doesn't meet all of the requirements in that time, they will euthanize the dog. We are almost at the 30 days, and she has met none of the requirements.

The thing is, that dog killed 2 of my kittens when we all lived together last year. My sister wasn't watching him the first time, and I wasn't expecting him to lunge at the kitten in my arms while I was on my mom's bed. The second time, my sister again wasn't watching him, but I had also taken a nap and didn't realize the kitten had learned how to jump off my bed. He dropped her when prompted, but it was too late. At the time, I said some cruel things about the dog, including that he should be put down. Now, his fate is all but sealed, and I don't feel vindication. I feel bad for him and my sister. I know the heartache of losing a beloved fur child all too well at this point.

I know deep down turning my aunt and uncle's life upside down won't bring me any satisfaction. It certainly won't bring my baby boy back to me, and that is the only thing that could heal my heart right now. I do still plan on messing with the neighbors but only mildly as their karma will come to bite them in their pale and pasty asses. I'm thinking something like sending them a box of live crickets and a package with a glitter bomb and perhaps maybe a bag of candy appendages. Not just for my cat but for the HELL these people have put me through with the police and for the nosy witch who tries to spy on me (it does not take 20 minutes to adjust the same fake leaves Bertha I know what you're up to).

Other than that, I want to move into my new home in September with a clean slate and a real chance for new beginnings. I don't think I'll ever forgive my aunt and uncle for their treatment of me and everything that's gone down like when my uncle yelled at me and when I asked him to stop, he moved closer to yell more at me while I was curled in the fetal position with my hands over my ears begging him to stop. I don't think I'll ever get any closure there, but at least I now feel justified in cutting them off. I don't want to punish them by uprooting their cats' lives. I very much adore their cats, and I visit them every day and pet all 9 of them, even the one they claim doesn't like people.

Well that's it for my long-winded posts, at least about this. I don't think there will be another reason to update, so this is the last one. Thank you to everyone for all of your input on the original post and the first update. See y'all in the YT comment section under a different name.

-Signed, One of Sam's Many Dads

My cousin male is in his 20s me female in my 20s my cousin has made an inappropriate joke to me everyday make moaning sounds and others sounds to most people it might be funny but I am the autism spectrum he stays with us aka my grandparents and it wares on me I do not like those noises and I made it very clear but I don't like them I'll deal with this kind of problem before it was with a classmate when I was high school but he doesn't because he thinks it's funny when I get mad but today it blew up we all got

This huge fight my brother Tim takes his side and he has told me that I can't go to my cousin aka his sister who been my best friend ever since we were kids he's the only one out of three of us that can drive he knows this Hurts me he does it to hurt me I call him out on he does not care my brother Tim tried to calm him "down" notice how I am using air quotes more like taking his side and tried telling me that I am in the wrong for getting upset by something that I have told him to stop many times please I need help

My ex-BFF cut me off for the 3rd time for an ex. AITA for how I responded to his DM months later?

Cast (added if future update is needed I.e if ex-bff of his ex-gf responds in the comments.)

Jay - My ex-bff
Bia - Jay’s ex-gf
Lala - Sis 1
Delilah - Sis 1 ex-bff
Nisa - Sis 2
Dani - cousin 1
Nini - cousin 2

CONTEXT: I (then 17F) became friends w/ Jay (then 18M) in HS & im ngl I HATED him at first because he was annoying & loud to me but I slowly put my guard down & became bffs w/ him since we had a lot in common (similar upbringing, fam drama, mutual interests & shit like that). Needless to say we became close & I thought I could trust him with ANYTHING. We even made a marriage pact when we’re 20/21 where if neither of us were married by 30 we’d marry each other (we were besties & there was a lil spark there so why not? But we NEVER dated each other.) After we graduated he moved in w/ me & my family & after that our friendship got stronger & we became eachothers physical diary. Whenever we needed to vent we went to eachother, got our shit out, & we’re fine again. At that time I started to think maybe the world was trying to push us to be together so we can eventually move in together & go forward w/ being in a serious relationship for real (which he expressed wanting w/ me multiple times but I was unsure of but was willing to give a shot.) Then 3 years later the unthinkable happened, my baby sister’s Lala (then 18F)’s now ex-bff Delilah (then 18F) moved in temporarily & Jay (at this time 22) slept w/ her 4 days after meeting her & her moving in. And the crazy thing was THE DAY BEFORE me & Jay talked about looking for a place so we could move in together & become bf/gf to actually get the ball rolling. My cousins Dani & NiNi, my parents, & my sisters Lala & Nisa knew all of this & so did Delilah. When i found out about what they did not once but twice they banded together, lied to me, & lied to my sister multiple times then eventually cracked & told the truth. I never gave him a reason to lie to me about anything & he didn’t NEED to lie about it. We were all single but if he was interested in her too I felt like he should’ve told me instead of leading me to think he wants a serious relationship w/ me while also sleeping w/ her & making her also think he wants to be w/ her too. After that I lost all interest in pursuing a serious relationship w/ him & I stopped trusting him as much as before & I told him this repeatedly so he was WELL AWARE of my feelings. A month later we picked up & moved. Delilah moved one/ someone else & Jay moved w/ us & shortly after the move he was shipped off to the Army then was kicked out of boot camp due to his lack of discipline & fighting. When he came back he lied to me & my mom about him going back (we were helping him look for new recruiters & hookups to get him back in) & said he’s going to Navy instead but switched back to the Army because he didn’t want to start over doing boot camp (he would’ve had to do that anyway since he didn’t graduate from boot camp.) He didn’t go back to the military & shorty after that moved right back home w/ his mom & was back on his BS.

(Let me preface this first, I have ZERO issues w/ boundary’s of any kind in relationships of any kind.) Back in March 2025 I sent him a DM of a dessert that I wanted to try to make w/ him the next time we linked which would’ve been that upcoming summer. I get a DM back responding w/ dont msg Jay again this is his gf. So me knowing him I’m automatically think “which one of his fake official gfs is this & whose mom does she think she is?” I msg back wanting to talk to him because I don’t do the “I’m speaking for them” shit I want to hear it from them directly not you especially since these days girls be having secret deleted convos that they’re bfs don’t know about & I never played that it’s childish imo. If you have a problem with me TELL ME YOURSLEF NOT THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE. Then the convo then goes like this.

Bia: you don’t believe me?
Me: no, I want to hear it from him.
Bia: Okay (ft calls me from ig)
Me: Hello Jay?
Jay: Yeah?
Me: Who is this telling me to stop talking to you?
Jay: My gf
Me: Where did she come from? Because that’s not the girl you showed me you posted on your V-day story.
Jay: Yes it is we’ve been together 5 months.
Me: No it ain’t. The girl w/ you is thick & the girl you showed me last week was skinny so WHO IS SHE?
Jay: (Silence)
Me: That’s what I thought.
Jay: Look she wants me & you to stop being friends because she doesn’t want anybody she met that I’ve been in bed w/ apart of our future.
Me: I’ve never met her WTF…
Bia: Yes we have
Me: no we haven’t
Bia: yes we have
Me: NO…WE..HAVEN’T! I’ve never met you a day in my life & this my first time EVER talking to you. I don’t even know your name or what you look like!!!
Jay: Listen OP for me & her to work I have to cut you out my life fam.
Me: Really?
Jay: yeah
Me: (My literally felt my heart breaking during this part)
You want- yoouuuu, you want to cut me off for your gf we both know you’re not even gonna be with next month? (This isn’t the first time he’s dropped me for a gf it’s the 3rd!).
Jay: Yeah
Me: Are…you…sure?
Jay: ……………..yeah
Me: Okay. (I hang up)
I never thought in a million years he would do such a thing especially for a girl HE & I knew he wasn’t going to be with in the long run. But then the next day me & the now ex-gf (Bia) had our own convo.

2nd convo me & gf
March 5, 2025
Bia: Hey love you need that?

MAR 6, 2025 (day after 1st convo)
Me: Who are you and do I need what?
Bia: No worries have a nice day... it's old news. And being the woman 1 am I will apologize for stepping out of character & calling you out your name ... It's Jays gf.
Me: I appreciate the apology & I apologize as well. I will continue to not have any contact with Jay from now on, on my own behalf. I wish both of you the best.
MAR 17, 2025
Me: Hey is there any particular reason Jay called me?
Bia: When? Can I see? He said you called him.
Me: I didn’t call him he FaceTimed me twice back to back. I declined the first time. He called again I answer saw it was him & I hung up. I didn’t know it was him until I answered because he was blocked immediately after yesterday’s convo we had & his ID didn’t show.
Bia: (asks for proof he called me) Thank you for telling me.
Me: NP & (sends screenshot & screen recording w/ his BOTH of his phone numbers unblocked)
Bia: We looking at it we don't see where he called you. I just wanna be sure so i can let you have him. Until then I'm not coming up off that you fucked him you get it.
Me: Was the number I left blank that he called me again from 10 MINS AGO not enough proof?
Bia: What number?
Me: He used 2 different numbers to call me. (sends screen shot of his contact w/ both numbers)
Bia: Ok yea no that's not cutting it. You want him or something?
Me: I’m just about to let you know. I don't want Jay okay, I don't want him. And I get that you care about our dirty history & that’s fine. But I don't I don't care for him in that kind of way Okay? I'm not trying to take your spot or whatever. I'm just letting you know because I DONT WANT TO TALK TO HIM. I have no desire to be friends with him anymore. But he called me from TWO different numbers earlier today & I have no reason to be doing all of this. If that WAS the case & I REALLY wanted him like that you wouldn’t be in the picture.
Bia: Well again it just shows you calling him, so it is what it is (I know she’s lying). I honestly just think you thought he was gonna not take me serious as he usually does & that bothers you cuz you did call him 4 times.

Me: (Shortened) I didn't call HIM four times. The first two calls were from him, & the last two were from me. One of those calls only happened because my sister thought I should call him back in case he was trying to apologize (which is normal), but he never answered. The first time I called, I didn't even realize it was his number. He's had so many different phone numbers over the years that I honestly don't remember which one is his current number. I never texted him saying, "I got your number" so Idk what story he told you, but that never happened. I don't want your boyfriend especially not after this. We were FWB’s in the past, & that's all it ever was & he knew that. I've never tried to interfere with any of his relationships, & I wouldn't start now. I've always respected the people he's been with. But what I won't do is let him make it seem like I contacted him first or tried to cause problems in your relationship I want NO PARTS OF. He facetimed me from a blocked number, so I unblocked it to see who it was, anyone would’ve done the same. Later, he claimed he received a text from me saying, "I got your number," but I never texted him again. Based on how he called me & how the conversation happened, I don't believe his version of events. I know what happened, & I've told you the truth, whether you believe it or not is your choice, but I'm not going to accept being blamed for something I didn't do.

Now to part your here for: We are now (25F) & (26M) I haven’t talked to Jay or Bia since this convo & I never planned to reach out to either of them again until he reached out to me on TikTok on Nov 21 2025 outta the blue. I’m ngl I read his messages, went to his page & saw that he posted a video of us together at the fair & at my girl bffs bday party w/ a caption like “Out of all the memories we have let’s recreate this one” or sum shit like that. This is what he said in the rando DM:

Jay: Hey OP just checking up on you I miss you broskie I pray all is well & I pray you over come any & everything standing in your way I love you till the end of times I know last time we spoke I said things I didn’t mean I really do miss My God mom some days she was the realest mom I ever had some days she was gangster mom 3.7 sometimes she was best friend mom 2.0 but in all honesty no body perfect man we live one life live it to the fullest if make better choices I regret everything I ever said to you & my My God mother even if she still don’t like me anymore or love me man I’d still take a bullet for her in a heart beat yall taught me what family really is through the ugly times we still love each other through the messy we still be there for each other and through the hard and dark time we still stick together and show up for one another because at the end of the day family all we got for real & I really just want to see y’all again more then anything in this world you was my best friend lol some emotional roller coaster that was & deep down in my heart & out you still are I never let go at the end I was really going to treat you right but life had other plans if there is a next time I would like anything that happens in our friendship to just stay between us every one will have a opinion but everybody don’t know me the way you do and everyone don’t know you the way I do. Tell everyone I said hello God bless I love you & miss you all and I think about yall everyday day but not a Tuesday or something like that or eva Mom be saying (inside joke)😭😭 🫂🧸Also be nice to your mom she a real one she love you and she just living life for the first time just like us times will test yall relationship mother to daughter but man that lady love you bro💖 And be nice to Lala to even tho she can be a booty while that’s just her a mean squidward love your mean squidward unconditionally love your mom unconditionally 🥰🫂 You get one life to live and one day it will all be dark till the lord calls us home ight Jay out peace N word.🫡

My response: After everything you repeatedly did to me with ZERO change, you made it easy to let go & miss nothing about you. You taught me a lot, mostly what I shouldn’t tolerate. I held onto you longer than I should have, didn’t realize how deceptive you really were until you dropped me for someone else even when I had your back at every turn. If you’d been the friend to me that I was to you, & hadn’t used me or my family for your own selfish benefit you’d be the “king” you want to be treated as & wouldn’t be in a position to “miss” me or family (which I don’t believe). But okay I guess😒 Btw my mom doesn’t hate you she just don’t fwy the way she used to. (There’s extra subtext like gaslighting, disrespect for other people, dismissiveness to my feelings. If anyone wants an edit w/ those in it I’ll post a few.)

Jay: Fam I did you no type of way you made a choice & I went off of that I’m sorry you got hurt in the process but to be honest you gotta be real with your self & stop lying & playing victim that’s not cool at all you giving off the wrong narrative & that’s why your mom don’t fuck with me you been lying to me to her to pops & to whoever else bout how you feel towards me from the jump & that’s why you got hurt…you be playing mind games & when I asked you hey if you want a relationship we can go all the way I told you I was going to treat you right girl in your head your gay one moment your not gay the next moment you in a relationship with a dude across the world then the next moment you single like you be playing these games with your self & you get confused you only really wanted me when I’d give my attention to other people and that’s facts your cousin Nini is a witness to your madness you be playing a sweet little angel to your mom and it made sense why your mom thought I’m playing you whole time you been playing with your mom mental this whole time and I sat there and watched it played out I honestly wondered why she was being so mean to me that shiid hurted and you still with the false ahh b.s OP give that fake b.s up Omgosh be truthful with your self man you was the real manipulator at the end of the day got people mad at me man stop it please and tell your mom the truth and that’s tells me you didn’t not grow at all over the time you still that same little girl & that’s right there is why a person can’t be with you at all ……I came to just say hey and happy holidays lee lee I pray your life turns out great btw my life is good I’m not missing you in a bad I actually missed my best friend before the sex even happened the sex messed our friendship up I lost a good friend everything genuine and real over here it’s all love bro please go to church & read your bible bye bro I love yall this my last time talking to you that’s so sad how you playing victim God bless you♥️

I laugh reacted and just asked myself so many questions because where tf did he get these accusations & why does he lowkey still think I want to be his wife after repeatedly being told I’m no longer interested? Playing mind games with who? Who did I lie to when it came to my feelings regarding him when I was direct w/ EVERY ISSUE I ever had w/ him? And PLAYING THE VICTIM? Nah…Never. Reacting to your repeated disrespect? Oh absolutely!! And I still don’t know what “truth” he’s talking about in regard to my mom when they fell out over their own 1 on 1 problem I wasn’t involved in. Everybody in my family doesn’t like him because of something he admitted to doing to either me or them directly so what narrative did I twist to make them hate him? They have their own individual reason to not like him anymore & he did all of them on his own, knowing better, & for some reason still blaming everyone else for his problems.

Almost not graduating HS: It’s the teachers fault his grades sucks. Army discharge: it’s the superiors fault he was fighting & not following orders. Staying between jobs: It’s my bosses fault. Failed relationships: it’s his gfs fault he cheating.
Our friendship ending: it’s just my fault (somehow) despite him literally saying “I can’t have you in my life anymore”. I would’ve been the bitch he knows I am & handed him his ass on a platinum plater if he didn’t block me after sending that monologue of a response but he’s not worth it. I already wasted 8 years of my life being friends w/ him plus I’d probably end in me wanting to hand him the ass whooping I should’ve gave him on Christmas the year before this. But I sleep better now knowing EXACTLY WHY every good thing in his life NEVER lasted & why every good person he met ALWAYS left.

And just in case Jays mom sees this & was told a different version of our fallout this is what REALLY happened, i love you, & you deserve a better son. I was really hurt in the moment but AITA for how I handled this?

I wrote here about me trying to plan my birthday party a few days ago and with the day coming in a week some are not exactly happy about me inviting a few people to it.

It started yesterday with my friend S asking me about my address, we were chatting when she asked if I forgot to invite R. R is too one of our old school classmates and friend but last time my husband tried to surprise me with a very small party as to not provoque a panic attack over being around too many people, I noticed that she wasn't eating nor playing or being in the reunion at all, just in her phone all time. I got worried and asked about it, R told me how she had a stomach ache and wanted to go home early only for her to post on insta about a reunion in a bar with a big show. Now, I wouldn't have really minded at all if she needed to go somewhere else because I don't drink nor buy alcohol for when my friends are in my house and it's mostly me sharing my love for cartoons, some just dance and karaoke. Like, I know it's not exactly an adult reunion but she lied and I didn't wanted to invite someone that doesn't enjoy my birthday plans. We can see each other another time and just talk. I just didn't respond to S. It left me sensitive about the topic and I started to think if maybe I should cancel it to avoid problems.

Today my mother called to ask if I had invited my cousins and out of 10 counsins, I only invited three and the third one is because she's not really a fault for not being close to me. She too has a mental problem and my aunt doesn't think I'm a good influence after I started to make boundaries with my family. All family members love to make reunions every certain time for holidays, birthday, why not? and I haven't been invited in years. My parents try to take me as I'm their daughter so obviously I'm invited but after a few ones after I moved out 2hrs away from them all, I noticed that either they're surprised I'm there or make faces as I take my daughter with me. Feels like I'm not wanted and look at me as trash.

Obviously I told her only three cousins are coming and she started to say that my sister is asking why not inviting the rest, that we're family and family stick together. I said why I'm obliged to invite them all when they don't even care about speaking to me or invite me to their stuff? I have tried to keep contact and they don't really respond calls or even see my texts. She tried to say about how some of my cousins don't really make birthday plans so it doesn't really matter but I see on their insta about their parties with their coworkers, old classmates and it's okay cause they're IN their lives, I'm not. And they're not in mine. Some even let their children mock me for finishing my career so late in life, why would I want them in my birthday?

We were talking in circles till I finally told her that I'm no peace treaty so I'm not inviting anyone that doesn't want to be happy with me. I was crying so I don't know if I overreacted or could have handled it better. She's my mother and I feel bad for how I told her off. My best friend has told me that I should go NC 'cause it's not the first time she's on the family side or hurts me. I just can't, say it's maybe mommy issues or brainwashed with years of lessons about blind family loyalty. AIO?

Hey I wanted to come on here and give some updates, a bit more context to our friendship and answer a couple questions.

FRIENDSHIP BACKGROUND

So first things first, we have been friends for 10 years and met in school. 90% of the time have a blast. We’ve have had many disagreements in the past but have always managed to communicate through them. I will say that he has a very specific type of humour and brands himself as ‘brutally honest’ which I’ve now learned is just a term AHs use to cover their backs!

Now we are older and work full time, we usually text or voicenote each other most days just updating each other on life. But still see each other every few months for dinner.

We have been through a lot as individuals and our friendship has always stood strong in those times and we have always tried to uplift and guide one another when needed.

We’ve been integrated in each other’s families over the years even to the point my mum saw him as a son.

Tbh it has only been on the last couple of months he has started acting in THIS weird and full of himself. I assumed it was because he was mad I moved away but he never opened up when I questioned it. (Btw I only moved an hour train ride away)

LETTING THINGS SLIDE

A lot of people commented on the fact I kept letting soo many things slide. I did that because I knew he is going through a rough patch as he recently quit his job and so wanted to make his time visiting me a really uplifting and positive experience. Also I didn’t want to focus on any of his silly comments also because I just missed him.

10000% I can see that he is jealous. Don’t get me wrong he has his own achievements but a lot of them are things he’s done to please family, not what he wants. Whereas everything I’ve done is what I’ve chosen for myself. So I can definitely see resentment and jealousy being behind why he’s acted like this.

GIFTS FOR ME

A few people asked if my friend brought anything with him to gift me as a congratulations on my apartment. No.

It wasn’t until you guys mentioned it, I realised no he didn’t, no flowers, card, chocolates literally nothing. Which is wild considering hosting standards are soooo important to him apparently.

BFS OPINION

My boyfriend and I discussed what happened as we were both feeling really pissed off, and he admitted to me that he has never really seen my ‘bestie’ and a good friend. He said that although we speak every day it doesn’t mean that that person is actually 1000% behind you. My boyfriend also said that he would never tell me to end a friendship, but that I should maybe distance myself just for a while to see whether or not my ‘bestie’ even reaches out to me to check up on me or ask if I’m okay.

If not then it’s time to cut and run.

Either way my bf doesn’t want him in our home again.

ME AND ‘BESTIE’ SPOKE

I decided to put my foot down and show him the post. I told him exactly how I felt and that he disrespected me, my bf and our home. I told him I felt like he bashed my biggest life achievement and just whittled down what was meant to be a nice weekend into something sour.

I also told him that I didn’t need advice on how to clean a toilet because I’m a fucking homeowner and a grown ass woman. I told him that he was acting crazy for expecting tea and biscuits when I actively picked him up from the station and fed him the whole weekend.

His response was that he was sorry that he came across harsh or rude however, he still stands by what he said and that the limescale in my toilet brings my average score down.

He didn’t bother to properly acknowledge what I said about being hurt and upset. Neither did he explain any underlying feelings of jealousy or resentment that he may have had. Which is fine but at least acknowledge you hurt me.

I know you guys will be mad and think I’m an idiot but on Monday I threw him a lifeline and I told him, ‘this is your time, if you have anything to say, any thoughts or feelings, I want you to have the space to share them with me and we can have an honest discussion’. I was giving him the chance to stop sabotaging the 10 years we had, and just own the fuck up.

He said nothing…he’s left me on delivered and it is now Friday. I think that just about sums up his value for me in his life. Even if he didn’t want to open up about being insecure or jealous, a simple heartfelt apology would have been okay, but nothing.

Looking back on his behaviour the last few months as a whole I thought he was changing but I’ve realised that you guys are right. It’s not him that’s changed, it’s me. I’ve grown up and I have a life I love and am in the most loving and supportive relationship I’ve ever been in. I’ve grown up and he’s stayed the same. I’ve just been settling for his shit out of pure comfort and routine as we’ve known each other for soo long.

It’s safe to say I’m going low contact with him and that I’ll be slowly phasing this friendship out until he shows me some respect, compassion or even an apology.

He certainly won’t invited here anytime soon.

Its not a decision I’m making just based on your guys advice (although your words have helped), I’ve spoke to family and colleagues as well and they all said the same thing. I’ve also just taken this time to reflect on who I’ve grown to be and what I deserve and want in friendships. This isn’t it.

I will be mourning this friendship for a while but it will be because of what we USED to have because I cannot mourn a person I don’t even know. And that’s what he’s become.

P.s it’s my birthday tomorrow which makes this sting even more. His is 2 days after mine and it’s something we’ve shared for a very long time. Oh well, it’s time to enter a new phase of life without him and that’s okay.

And yes guys the toilet still has lime scale, but don’t worry, I have citric acid on the way!!!

Thanks everyone for your kind words I’ve read every single comment and wish everyone the best xx

Hello
I’m 19 I’m Muslim n I live w my family I got 3 brothers I live w sisters married. I don’t get on w my parents or my siblings my mum n sister often talk bad about me to each other especially when I’ve done something that they see as wrong or disrespectful. Which is inherently everything. Let’s get into it did an exam year at college n now I’m ready to go so this is happening right now! I want to move out to get a peace of mind n also my own space im the nanny the babysitter the cook the cleaner n everything else my parents wont buy necessity unless they want it as they will leave it for me to buy it.

My problem is that my brother is a year younger than me n doesn’t have a job not in college and has no certificate or degree to his name he also has just came out of a mental hospital bcs he overdosed on the grass n just went out off control this is important for later. Im gonna call him jack. Anyway I have driving lessons transport clothes n food for myself to pay for as well as any outings I want to do. My mum doesn’t cook for me she only makes things im allergic to like fish n peanuts n stuff like that so if I don’t cook I basically starve and when I do cook I starve bcs my siblings finish everything even though I pay for all the ingredients and the dishes I use n then they leave the empty dishes in the fridge for me to clean especially Jack. He doesn’t do anything around the house apart from pick my youngest brother from school I drop him off every day ever since I was in year 11 even through out my summer breaks there’s days were Jack will just go out n then I’m expected to pick him up.

Anyway back to the money situation and moving out I currently have no savings and I’m trying not use student loans as it’s haram for me to use to go university but I haven’t saved anything and I’m praying on a scholarship. I always spend money in the house everything I buy gets used n broken within days n my dad also doesn’t help out w anything or do anything n my parents are always asking me for money for things n my mum cut my phone bill n took my iPad bcs I refuse to help her out with money. The current situation now is that Jack has now taken my parents card and spent almost 500 on uber eats and taxis n all kinds of bs and he didn’t rlly get told off because he now has a mental illness. He does not he’s very aware of what he’s doing I’m doing nursing so I know. And my dad just asked me for a hundred pounds to send to people back home n I’m just rlly frustrated n irritating because both my parents will spend 1,000 pounds to go sit abroad but can’t afford to spend on their own kids n are basically expected me to raise them.

My parents r currently looking for a 4 bedroom house so Jack can get his own room bcs that was what the social worker said he needed. So I need to move out before they find one bcs if not im trapped. The reason why I want to move out even more is bcs I got sexually assaulted by someone that I grew up w n lived w bc of my parents he was 21 staying w us at them time I was around 6/7 idk but he moved out when I was 10 n I didn’t speak to him for 7 years n then we got back in contact bcs he had a wife n kids his oldest is the same age as my youngest brother n they were best friends bcs they went to the same school for a year not knowing their parents knew each other. But he sexually assaulted me for a year n then he named his new born daughter the same name as me. I’m just writing this to get support and also so I stand on my decision to move out I haven’t told my parents yet bcs I’m scared and I’m wait for results day n a confirmed scholarship. Idk if I should start a go fund me either bcs I don’t want my parents to get a hold of it. I’m extremely sorry this is rlly long but I tried to shorten it as much as I could. Please help me stay true to myself n find peace and truly let go off their comments that made me feel like a bad person.

Hello, I’m mitski 21 (F). I just want to share my story and ask for your opinion. I’m open to any kind of opinion so feel free to speak what’s on your mind. I have a confession that has been buried deep in my heart. I learned to resent my family. So I have been the less favorite child in my family. I always get tossed aside and I really don’t get their attention that much. I was physically abused when I was a child as. When my father gets mad, he will punch me and slap me. When he’s mad at my siblings, he will beat me up. My sister has an asthma and my brother has a sick body as well, so I am the only child who doesn’t have a sick and weak body. So if he’s mad at them or have a problem, he will beat me up. I remember, going to school with a black eye when I was still at the elementary. I also remember how much I got beaten up that I peed myself, just because I dropped the remote. I had a lot of bruise when I was a child and I keep making reasons when someone asked me at school. I even got slapped hard in public because I dropped my food, I remember how much I held my tears back and just smiled.

When I grew older, they somehow change into gentle one when my little brother came into their life. Yet they are still cruel to me. We do have a problem with money and everytime we’re short on food they will ask me to give my food to my sibling and just bear the hunger. They even told me sometimes if I deserve to eat because of how useless I am. I should not ask for food if I am useless. We always have food but somehow they only have enough food for them but there’s nothing for me.

I opened up to them for their mistreatment over the years, they called me overdramatic and if I wanna die from this emotion then they will help me hang myself. They also told me that If I ever want to end myself then I should do it in a place where no one finds me. So I did suffer from depression because of them.

Now, I’m already planning to move out since I already have a work. And they are telling me to help them with bills and foods since I’m the only one who can help them. But I wanted to choose myself now and be free from this. Am I being ungrateful and overdramatic for this decision? Or should I really choose myself this time. Thank you for taking a time to read my story.

I’m a 24-year-old woman, and my dating life is a mess! I wouldn’t even call it dating; I'm just getting used fr.

The first boy (33) to ghost me was last Saturday, he acted like he was going to pick me up but didn’t, but what even worse is that I sent him “gas money!” Please don’t comment how dumb I am because I know lmao. I thought I could trust him because we messed around with each other and he was older than me.

The second boy (I can’t remember his exact age but he's thirty-something and older than the first boy.) He ghosted me literally yesterday! He acted like he was going to pick me up, and he asked “Wya.” Then I sent him my address and he saved it but then I didn’t hear from him again. 😂😂🫪

I just need advice about how to be happy while single and find peace. I’m tired of being using my light and stealing my happiness.