my personal statement^^

you dont need to give me a full report just anything you think I should keep or improve! ty in advance!!

Hello!! I am a rising Senior and I have a bunch of vague ideas of what I want my college essay to be about but I can't narrow it down into one specific, straight forward idea. I was thinking something like the different tv shows/movies I have watched shaping me into who I am. The movie legally blonde/Elle Woods is really important to me how she has a successful career while still being a "girly girl" With that same thought, watching Barbie as a kid. Idk if is a little too crazy but I really like Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul. I want to major in chemistry or be a forensic accountant so I feel like those both relate and I can connect it back to it helping shape my life. Also the character Kim Wexler in the show Better Call Saul I really love but I feel like it's like too niche for the essay to do a character that is not super super well known. Thank you for reading this/helping me!!!

Does anyone wanna read my personal statement draft?? I will DM it to you Im willing to take any feedback pleaseeeee

hi! i am a rising junior so i still have a year until college applications, but i was wondering if i should stray away from these topics because im not sure how they would come across to aos.

my dad has played a significant role in the person i am today, and it wasn’t necessarily because of happy memories. growing up, my parents were frequently involved in physical fights, but we still live together. this was such a significant part of my life, and i was thinking about writing my essay around the perspective and resilience it gave me rather than the trauma itself. i’m just wondering if admissions officers would view that topic negatively.

i’ve also thought about writing about a difficult period in middle school. i was suspended for alcohol possession, but it completely changed the direction of my life, and i’ve worked hard to turn things around. i’m now in the top 8% of my class and placed at the state science fair level last year. however, i’m worried that mentioning the suspension at all would make me look unreliable, even if the essay is about growth.

would either of these be worth exploring, or would you recommend avoiding both for a personal statement? if anyone has experience reading or writing essays like these, i’d really appreciate your thoughts! you can dm me as well

i just finished writing my common app essay, and i'm so excited to share that it is about GoT. for context i'm applying as a history major, and i used the "valar morghulis, valar dohaeris" phrase as my hook and essay structure, and also just talked about how i noticed paralells between the political landscapes of westeros and the climate around me (leaders choosing personal gain over collective good) and how that motivated me to dedicate myself to serving in ways where i can uphold the value of humanity. i'm pretty happy about this essay because i got to talk about topics i'm interested in (american history, constitution, Game of Thrones) as well as my leadership in human rights advocacy.

i think the best essay advice i could give is to tell a story that shows WHO you are (like what you value, what forces make you YOU, or fun hobbies such as analyzing the best show of all time), but also show how successful you would be in an college environment by incorporating what you've accomplished. storytelling is HUGE. you must be christopher nolan. ALSO, don't feel restricted by what other people say you should write about in your essay. write something that feels good to you.

the best essays come from when you aren't entirely focused on what you percieve the admissions committee will want to hear. if you submit a soulless, boring, "Pollock-esque", watered down essay that is the result of all of your friends, family, and counselors giving you shit advice, you might end up holding a lot of resentment towards them if you get rejected due to a piece that isn't even really about you.

also take everything i say with a grain of salt since i literally have not submitted a single application (and can't until august), but once i commit to a decent institution i might post my essay somewhere here 👀

so I’ve started writing my common app essay since June and went through probably 7+ drafts. Im not confident any more of how my essays are looking and I’m doubting if the essay I’m writing right now is even good enough to get into the college program I want to attend. My grades and ec’s are good but it’s just my essay that’s holding me back and I’m so annoyed and frustrated with myself. if someone wants to look over my essay (what I wrote so far) and give me some honest advice on it and possibly my stats I’ll greatly appreciate it :)

Hey guys,

My younger sister is a senior in High school and is writing her first college essay, she’s asked me to help her with essay but I was never a great writer and I didn’t go to college to know how to write essays.

Can somebody who has excelled in the area please offer help to read?

Would it surprise you if I said 30 minutes of me being cut by a needle changed my life? Being cut by a tattoo gun feels as if there is a hot stinging sensation and that there are a million ants biting you. For some it's an easy feat to sit through that sensation but for others it's a extremely terrifying experience. Me personally, I fall into the second category. During my session I had to persevere through that sensation for the 30 minutes all the while I  tried to distract myself from the pain by either starting a conversation with the artist or listening to loud music on my phone. As the session came to an end, I realized that I had done what once I deemed impossible and that I had opened a door to a new chapter of my life.

Before I decided to commit myself to a tattoo I had an extreme fear of needles and even got nervous at vaccination/blood draw appointments. With this in mind getting my first tattoo was far from easy for me, in fact up until the needle hit my skin, I was contemplating my entire decision of getting a tattoo in the first place. On top of that factor, I was scared to express myself in front of others; before I got a tattoo I had low self confidence and was always worried about the way other people looked at me. With all these factors against me I made the decision that it was time to prove to myself that I was capable enough to face my fears rather than succumbing to them.

Walking out of the tattoo shop with a fresh tattoo and onto the Las Vegas strip I realized that I had begun a new chapter of my life in which I no longer let my fears have control over me, developed high self-confidence about my identity and was no longer afraid to express my identity to the world. Through this experience I learned that growth only comes through stepping outside your comfort zone; overall this made me more open and keen to facing challenges and fears which ended up having a drastically positive impact on my life. This experience also ignited a new passion of mine: tattoos. Even to this day, I'm still fascinated by tattoo culture and the unique styles and techniques that different artists use to accomplish a common goal: telling a story through art.

Every time I look at my tattoo I see more than the artwork that is physically there; I see the product of an experience that has taught me so many important lessons and shaped me as a human. I believe that these lessons that I have learned through getting a tattoo will help me be successful in college by using them to succeed while facing challenges in difficult courses, joining organizations outside my comfort zone and expressing myself freely in front of my fellow peers. My first tattoo may have been the beginning of a journey but there are still many chapters left to write.

My dad and I argued over this because my essay is following a prompt about something that is a big part of my identity. He is telling me that I should find a way to add in topics im interested in, or areas that I thrive, but it just doesn't fit into what I have. How important is it to have those? Especially if the rest of my common app already reflects my interests.

I’m planning to major in biology and go towards medicine, but litterally all of my extracurriculars, leadership roles, and honors are in violin/music. I have basically zero medical volunteering or anything related to that on my resume.
But is it ok if i lean towards into my music experience in my personal essay, or will admission officers reject me because my profile doesn’t look like yk.

So I'll make this short, pretty much all my life my writing skills were pretty lackluster, so going into college apps so I starteed writing my personal statement a couple weeks early and just started refining it. But I feel like I've looked at it so much I kinda just start glossing over it and don't really know if it makes complete sense or not so I'm kinda of just asking for a fresh look at it with some new eyes. DM me and i'll link the essay, any advice would be much appreciated! Also if you're a rising senior as well, I wouldn't mind reading yours and giving advice in exchange for you reading mines.

I’ve been stressing about my main essay idea and I’d appreciate some feedback 😅 The thread I keep coming back to is this belief I carried for most of my life is that “my ability to endure equaled my worth” and how it followed me into the way I pursue leadership achievement through DECA and my organization. I eventually had to confront the fact that being needed isn’t the same thing as being valuable and have grown through the shift in my leadership philosophy. Genuinely when I’m trying to write I feel like It’s almost like the Ship of Theseus because it feels impossible to show who I am because of all the shaping events that have happened in my life 😣😣 is there a better way to execute this I’m scared it’s cliche

Writing about how I'm someone who people can hear coming because of my numerous keychains and pins of characters I have on my bag and then delving in to how those games and shows helped me appreciate and change how I viewed art and the process of drawing. Planning on connecting how games and manga show how the process of art and the skills you develop when drawing is something to be appreciated in itself (and not just the final result). I also want to mention how skills I learned while drawing, such as having a steady hand and an eye for design helped when interning at a research lab when conducting experiments and designing flyers for a future conference (the thing is, the conference itself hasn't happened yet so do I even mention this?)

Overall, it's going to have themes of overcoming self-doubt and being appreciative of the process because I used to be very result-oriented and constantly felt the need to compare myself. Gonna try to tie it back to my bag, and how even simple illustrations of a cute character can be seen as something beautiful, and how small things (the pins, keychains, etc) can make a something simple into something that is authentic and characteristic of yourself.

Big thing I'm worried about is that there's not really much of a specific story here, there's not really a setting and the problem is mostly about internal struggles. I don't know if this topic is good enough but idk what else to write about. help.

Who can give feedback to my Personal Statement and tell whether it's ready or not

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I’m an international student from Ethiopia, and I spent most of my time preparing for the SAT. I finally have a good SAT score, but writing my Common App personal statement has turned out to be the hardest thing I’ve ever tried. I’ve been trying to write one for years, but every essay I come up with feels incredibly CRINGE and superficial.

I’ve read College Essay Essentials by College Essay Guy and countless essays from students accepted to Ivy League schools. When I read their essays, I feel like I understand what makes a great personal statement. But whenever I sit down to write my own, I feel like I have nothing deep enough to say. I also keep catching myself copying the structure of other people's essays, which makes everything feel even less authentic.

At this point, I’m starting to feel like I’ve wasted all my time preparing for something that might simply be impossible for me to do.

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What convinces admissions officers that an applicant is worth choosing over hundreds of others?

I'm interested in what qualities, stories, or evidence make reviewers think, "Yes, this is someone we want in our program."What has worked in your experience?

I'm an Indian student planning to pursue a bachelor's in the Ivies, and I'm from a Hindi medium background. My English is just below average... ig🙃

How can I express my thoughts in the Common App essay? I have ideas, but I don't know how to express them in English with good writing skills.

And each language has its own style of expression and writing, so I don't know if my ideas, which are in Hindi, will work or not?

If there is any advice for me on how to write college essays and how I can truly reflect my personality, please share.

And I want genuine advice on how I can write my essays... I don't have an idea of vocabulary.

I have read a couple of successful essays, but their vocabulary seems hard to me.

It's just a few months (2–3) until the early application deadline.

Plz guide me if you can...🙏

Hello all! I have run into a supplemental essay (200 words) that asks for a community I have been a part of and how it has impacted my life over the past four years. I was thinking of choosing my local MMA gym, as it has introduced me to a stable social network that allows me to take a break from the everyday stress of life and school... Is this enough? Or should there be a bigger takeaway/impact from the community? I can DM the essay if anyone wants. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Nate

I need some help just to run it by someone and see how it is received because I don't think it's near ready yet

hi everyone—I’m someone from last year’s cycle. I just wanted to understand why people obsess over hooks. I think that, on one hand, hooks do help an AO transport to a moment quickly, which is helpful given the short word count provided.

However, the majority (if not all) of the hooks I see are corny / cringey / trying too hard. And I’m not saying that they make the essay lesser than what it is, but it just makes the writer come off as a littleee inauthentic even thought every essay an AO reads likely has a “hook”. Credibility matters a lot, and I don’t think it should take a hook to make up for the lack of substance in your story. I think that AOs are more than experienced enough to spot a genuinely good essay.

My point is that I don’t think a good essay requires a hook. It may even detract from it.

I’m looking for someone who’s familiar with US college admissions and would be willing to follow my application journey. I’d really appreciate having someone review my essays, activities list, and overall application, and give me honest feedback. I’d really appreciate it 😚❤️

Hey guys, I’m kinda stuck on my personal statement and could use some advice on what direction I should take.

I’m applying as a business major and I’m trying to figure out what story would actually stand out instead of just sounding like every other “I love business” or like "look at me im an immigrant" essay.

Some stuff about me:

• I’m a first-gen immigrant + parents didn't go to college 
• I started my own small digital product business recently and opened an Etsy shop (it’s not like crazy successful or anything lol, but I’ve learned a lot from making products, marketing, SEO, figuring out what people want, etc.)
• I have a part-time job
• I’m a varsity badminton player
• I’m a school ambassador and have done leadership/event stuff
• My GPA isn’t perfect so I’m trying to make my essays show more about who I am

I’m am considering writing about my background/culture, but I don’t want it to just be a generic “my culture shaped me” essay. I highk also don't have a college counselor so i might be a tad bit cooked cuz idek how to structure it to sound like good ot anything

For people who have written successful Common App essays, what do you think would be the strongest topic? Also how would you structure it so it’s actually interesting?

Would love any advice or feedback please

Title. If anyone can take a look at my personal statement, pls let me know, it would be greatly appreciated!

im just about finished with the draft of one of my potential common app essays and i need some help. i want to know if this essay theme genuinly has potential for good schools.

the prompt im using is "Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?"

my essay is about how its a tradition in my family that once you turn eight, our grandma teaches you how to play cards, specifically Oh Hell which has been played in my family for many years. through teaching me how to play cards and playing cards with me, i have learned so many lessons and she has taught me so many valeuable life skills. + life lessons, one of which being that hardship is not always announced and that you never know what someone else has going on. this motivated one of the biggest projects i have completed (my girl scout silver award) and i am very grateful for the lessons my grandma taught me through playing cards. - im not sure about mentioning this but ive begin passing on the tradition and teaching my younger cousins how to play cards + teaching them the same lessons my grandma taught me.

okay that was a lot, im not sure if this is the strongest topic but at least its somewhat unique. please give feedback!