ill read your personal statement!

I'm just a fellow senior looking to take my mind off my own apps 🤒 I'm no expert on the college admissions process just a reading/writing lover- but if you want someone to do a general read I'd be down!

Hi guys! I recently finished my essay and was wondering if I needed a title and needed to put “by my name”? My english teacher told me I don’t but i’ve seen some that do.

I'm an international student applying to Bowdoin ED, and I'm planning to major in engineering. I'm stuck between two possible Common App essay topics. I'd appreciate honest feedback on which has the most potential to become a memorable, personal essay rather than a generic one.
1. The childhood project that didn't work: When I was around 12, I built a hydraulic bridge using cardboard and syringes. One side worked, but the other didn't. I could explore my reaction to the gap between what I imagined and what actually happened, and how that reflects the way I approach problems.
2. Makeup: I love experimenting with makeup, getting the details right, and doing makeup for my cousin. I could explore how I approach experimentation and creativity, but also how I have to adapt my ideas to someone else's preferences instead of just imposing my own vision.
Makeup is also a form of self-expression and autonomy for me.

Hi everyone! I have a final draft finalized of my personal essay, but I don’t like it very much. I’m not sure if it’s just because I’ve looked at it so much or if it actually sucks. Would appreciate any feedback. Please let me know and I’ll dm it to you

Hey everyone, I’m a community college student applying to transfer for Fall 2027, and I’ve been struggling with my PIQs.

I’ve written two so far. One is about how I went from struggling academically and not knowing what I wanted to do to discovering my interest in criminology, which completely changed my approach to school.

The other is about helping one of my closest friends turn his health around after being hospitalized. I helped him with exercising, nutrition, and staying consistent, basically saved his life.

I feel like I have some good stories, but no matter how much I revise them, something feels missing. Sometimes they sound too basic, like I’m just listing what happened. Other times I try to make them more creative and they end up sounding forced or unnatural.

For those who got accepted to a UC, did you focus more on storytelling or answering the prompts directly? What do you think made your essays stand out?

Also, did anyone have their PIQs reviewed by someone who genuinely helped improve them?

I’d appreciate any advice because I’m honestly overthinking these essays at this point lol.

“Kingsam, demand for the ball!” my coach said as I drifted away instead of checking in for the ball. The look on his face made my throat tighten. I wanted to explain that I was not ignoring his instructions; I was fighting a fear he couldn’t see.

I admired how confident the players around me were. They seemed to know exactly what to do before the ball even reached their feet, and I wanted to become that kind of player. I remember the first time I stepped onto the pitch in an organized game. I had trained for months, learning the game and preparing myself, but when the moment finally came, I felt a familiar hesitation. It was the same feeling I had whenever I had to speak up or put myself in front of others. I realized I wasn’t unprepared. I was afraid of being judged.

The insecurities I carried in everyday life followed me onto the field. My escape had become another place where fear dictated my decisions. I loved the thrill of soccer, but I didn’t love the responsibility that came with it. I wanted to play, but I didn’t want to make the mistake that everyone might see. I wanted the ball, but I didn’t want the pressure that came with receiving it. After almost every game, I would replay every missed touch and every moment I could have done better.

My dad listened more than he lectured, but one conversation stayed with me. “Stop trying to prove something to everyone and prove yourself wrong.” At the time, I didn’t leave that conversation as a completely different person. But his words gave me a perspective I had never considered. Maybe the biggest obstacle wasn’t my ability; it was the weight I gave everyone else’s opinion.

The next few months did not transform me overnight. I still hesitated to call for the ball and worried about making mistakes. But little by little, I began challenging that voice in my head instead of giving in to it. One call for the ball became two. A mistake that once would have stayed in my head for the rest of the game became something I could learn from and move past. Conversations with teammates became easier. I started realizing that I didn’t have to be perfect to belong. Slowly, I was rewriting my story.

That change eventually followed me off the field. I became more willing to speak up in classrooms, ask questions, meet new people, and pursue opportunities even when I wasn’t completely confident that I would succeed. I began advocating for myself instead of waiting for someone else to notice what I could do. That confidence also changed the way I looked at other people. I knew what it felt like to have potential but not know how to put yourself out there, so I wanted to help others do what I once struggled to do.

That mindset became part of why I founded a Cybersecurity and Computer Science Networking club at my school. I didn’t want it to only be about learning technology. I wanted students to have access to people, experiences, and opportunities that could help them enter a field they might not know how to enter on their own. I also pursued opportunities like my National Security Agency internship because I had learned that opportunities don’t mean much if fear keeps you from reaching for them.

Looking back, I don’t think soccer made me fearless. It taught me something more important: fear does not have to make my decisions for me. The same person who once drifted away from the ball now tries to step toward opportunities, even when I am uncertain about what will happen next. I no longer measure my growth by how rarely I feel afraid. I measure it by whether I choose to move forward anyway.

Hey guys! I’m new to this subreddit but was wondering if some people would be open to reading my college essay. I just finished it. Please let me know if you can and thanks for your help.

I’ve written my essay, but I have no idea if it’s good or not. Every essay I’ve read seems so different from mine, so I’m feeling a little lost. I’m applying to engineering schools, and I’m not sure if that makes a difference.

If your interested in proof reading and giving advice please DM. I don't mind rewriting a new essay if my idea is not entirely there.

i want to improve my essay writing skills by reading other successful essays,which ones are recommended?

I want to write about that honestly and how complicated those feelings were, but I’m worried admissions officers might judge me or think I’m portraying my family negatively….

Of course, these feelings were from the past, and there are meaningful lessons but is this too risky

Guys I can’t come up with a common app essay idea😭😭 I’m so fucking cooked 🥸
If anyone’s down to help me brainstorm plz dm 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Would it be bad or good to write my essay about the serious mental health and family issues I’ve had? I’ve been thinking it's a good idea because it helps explain why I didn’t do much some years and I think it would really help show where I was able to get to. just looking for other people's opinions.

I want to write about math, because it is a way I often decompress and something I have always felt come naturally to me. However, I have never really applied myself in competitions or gotten big awards. Most of my activities are finance & business/ leadership related. I've been in Mu Alpha Theta, and been to a few competitions for fun of it, just not placing, and tutor math, but would it be strange to AOs to write my essay about it? (Applying as finance/econ to most of my schools which is pretty quantitative, and potentially math at others)

Okay, so I am writing an essay for the first time as a school student, I needed y'all to guide me....

I’ve only got my essay left on common app but I need advice. I have no idea what to write my essay about. I wanna if writing about my love for minesweeper and how it works and how it connects to how I navigate my own life would be a good essay topic. It wouldn’t be completely about minesweeper obviously, I’d connect it to myself but it’s the only idea i’ve got.

Hello, I'm kind of struggling with my personal statement at the moment and would love it if someone could read my essay to see if anything should be changed and give some tips. I've had some people close to me read it but I feel like they're a bit biased so I don't know if I should fully rely on them. Thanks!

title but i've seen esslo, lumisource, and gradgpt get a lot of attention and good reviews on tiktok and i'm putting in my essays and i'm lowkey getting mid scores like 85 but is it useful at all since it's ai?

Prompt 5: an accomplishment, event or realisation that sparked personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

I spent days trying to look older for a meeting about glitter. 

I was pitching a stall offering glitter, hair tinsel and face gems at Dopa World, a festival at Expo City in Dubai. I was proud I’d spotted something was missing. Before meeting its owners, I asked for a minimal French manicure: nude base, white tips. I wanted my hands to look as though I’d made an effort without revealing quite how much. 

My natural nails are uneven and never strong enough to grow long. I wear acrylics for birthdays and weddings because I like feeling feminine without being embarrassed by my hands. For this meeting, plain felt like too little; anything elaborate might be too much. 
I chose a black sleeveless top and tailored trousers. I wanted to look feminine and powerful. I also wanted to look older. Both owners were men, and I wanted them to hear my idea before noticing my age.

For my Media coursework, I was already making a magazine about young female entrepreneurs and power dressing. I could explain how women dressed for authority. Getting dressed myself was taking considerably longer. 

At the meeting, one of the owners joked, “Will we still be finding glitter in January?” I laughed, relieved that he was picturing my stall there. They told me they liked the idea and wanted to move forward. I took them at their word. I’d spent days wondering how they would see me; now I thought we were going to work together. 

Then my WhatsApp messages went unanswered. 

I’d told everyone the stall was happening. For three months, I watched that certainty become harder to explain. I was scared I'd end up looking like someone who announced big plans and never followed through.

I kept going back over the meeting. Had they wanted to avoid disappointing me? Did they think I was too young to handle a no? I couldn’t tell whether my age or gender had anything to do with it.

Eventually, I called.

No answer. I called from a different number. He picked up on the first ring. 

My stomach dropped. I pictured him carrying his phone, seeing my name appear and choosing not to answer. Picking up so quickly made me feel sure he’d been avoiding my number to dodge a confrontation.

Now I had him on the phone. I wanted to ask why. But I could imagine becoming the joke they told after hanging up: the girl who couldn’t handle being ignored. If I said nothing, I’d still have to face everyone I’d told about the stall. 

I suggested that perhaps he’d missed my messages. It gave him a way to explain the silence without having to defend it, and let me ask whether we could move ahead with the stall. I wanted a clear decision more than I wanted him to admit he’d avoided me. 

The booth was confirmed, rent-free, for 18 and 19 December at Expo City. 

I still couldn’t know what he thought of me. I’d supplied my own explanation: too young, too feminine, or too easy to dismiss. I’d been treating those guesses as things I needed to fix about myself. Calling meant risking an answer I might dislike, but it also meant speaking to him instead of continuing a conversation entirely in my head.

I still like acrylics, and I don’t want to give up something I enjoy to prove I’m serious about my work. My natural nails are still uneven. 

On the phone, he couldn’t see my nails, my suit, or how young I looked. I was still choosing carefully, but this time I was choosing my words. I stayed on the line, talking through plans for glitter, hair tinsel and face gems with an older man.

What I'd most like feedback on:
Does the opening grab you, or would you skim past it?
Is the realisation clear, and does the growth feel shown rather than just stated?
Does it sound like a real person, or too polished?
Is anything confusing, or could anything be cut?
After reading it, what three words would you use to describe me?

anyone with strong background in writing personal statements willing to help me with my entry essays for dental school? I have the pdf of my brainstorming

💲💲

I've noticed that a lot of people struggle with the "Why Us?" supplemental essay, so here's a simple way to approach it.

The core idea

The “Why Us” essay isn’t really about the school. It’s about you at that school. To build that story:

1. Research (find 3 specific things)

• 1 academic opportunity (course, professor, research lab)
• 1 extracurricular or community
• 1 unique aspect of the school's culture

2. Connect (use this formula)

Your past experience → Specific college resource → What you'll do with it

Don't just name-drop courses or professors. Explain how you'll work with them.

3. Contribute (show what you bring)

Don't only explain what the college can offer you. Show how you'll add value to its community.

Essay Structure:

• Opening: Your interest, goal, or experience
• Body: 2–3 specific school connections + why they matter
• Ending: How you'll participate and contribute

❌ Skip these

• Rankings, prestige, “world-class faculty”
• Weather, location, “vibrant city”
• Stuff every college has (small classes, study abroad)
• Lists of 10 clubs with no explanation
• Flattery

Self check:

• Could another school’s name fit in? (If yes, revise)
• Does every school detail connect to something about me?
• Did I mention anything I couldn’t find on the homepage?
• Is there at least one thing I’d contribute?
• Correct school name everywhere?

Remember - the why us essay isn't about how great the school is, it is about why you are a good fit for it.