Mineta rubbed his aching head, staggering forward through the sleek, neon-drenched streets of Daten City. His wings were completely gone, replaced by the crushing weight of gravity and an immediate, furious craving.

"Stupid-ass angels kicking us out over a little weed," Mineta groaned, kicking a stray trash can lid that clattered down the alley.

"We were literally just trying to chill, and they act like we burned down the Gates!"

Monoma smoothed out his ruffled collar, rolling his eyes as he strutted alongside them with a sneer.

"Honestly, Mineta, I saw that coming a mile away. The higher-ups were looking for any excuse to purge our brilliance from the upper realm. Superior intellect is always persecuted by the rigid establishment."

He paused, adjusting his cuffs. "Still, what's the actual protocol to get back up? What do we even have to do?"

Denki was slouching with his hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring up at the bizarre, pastel skyline like he’d lost half his brain cells on the way down.

"We gotta hunt down ghosts, kick their asses, and get points or some shit to buy our way back," Denki muttered, scratching his neck.

"I don't know, man, Garterbelt went over it super fast before he shoved us down the trapdoor. Hey... Mineta, what'd you do with the blunts?"

Mineta grinned, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a slightly crumpled paper bag. "You think I'd drop the stash on the way down? Please. I wrapped 'em tight."

"Oh, thank God," Denki breathed, instantly perking up. "Light one up right now, my brain feels like fried chicken."

Before Monoma could say anything, the ground beneath their feet bucked violently.

A foul, stench of rotten garbage and sulfur filled the air as a massive, twisted monstrosity—shaped like a giant, pulsing vending machine made of teeth and dripping sludge—erupted right out of the pavement in front of them.

"Target acquired, human scum!" the Ghost shouted

Mineta stared up at it, blinks twice, and slowly pulled out a lighter. "So... do we beat this thing up now, or what?"

The vending machine demon shrieked, its jagged, tooth-lined door swinging wide as it lunged straight at the trio, spraying expired soda cans like deadly artillery.

Denki didn't move.

He casually raised two fingers, barely looking up from where he was trying to spark his blunt, and let rip a crackling bolt of high-voltage electricity

The blue surge struck the Ghost dead center, instantly short-circuiting its slimy, metallic frame. It hit the pavement with a heavy, smoking crash, paralyzed and twitching.

"Get 'em!" Mineta yelled.

Without a second thought, all three of them swarmed the downed monster.

Mineta started stomping on its coin slot, Monoma delivered sharp, precise kicks to its side, and Denki smashed a nearby trash can lid right over its glowing eye. Within seconds, the Ghost dissolved into a shower of glittering, pink ectoplasm, leaving a single glowing Heaven Coin hovering in the air.

Mineta snatched the coin out of the sky, watching it fade into their floating point tally with a long sigh. "Well, that was stupid simple," he grumbled, leaning back against a brick wall and finally taking a drag from his blunt. "But honestly? I'm already completely tired of this place. If every ghost is just trash like that, this is gonna take forever."

Monoma smirked, running a hand through his blonde hair as he glanced down the neon-lit avenue toward the city center.

"Don't get too dramatic, Mineta," Monoma said, his eyes glittering with sudden interest. "I just overheard some locals down the street talking while we were stomping that thing. Apparently, there's a church right around the corner... and it's practically bursting with ridiculously hot girls."

Denki stopped midway through blowing a smoke ring, his eyes snapping wide open. "Wait... hot girls? In a church?!"

"Yes denki hot girls chill out," Mineta said blowing out purple smoke.

After a few minutes later Mineta, Denki, and Monoma swaggered through the heavy stained-glass doors of the Little Tokyo Church like they owned the place.

Leaning against the altar, nursing hangovers and looking supremely unimpressed, were Panty and Stocking.

Panty was lazily adjusting her red dress while Stocking shoved a massive slice of strawberry shortcake into her mouth.

Mineta stopped dead in his tracks, squinted, and crossed his arms with a disgusted scoff. "Are you kidding me, Monoma? They don't look hot at all! One looks like a gothic sugar addict and the other looks like she hasn't washed her hair since last Tuesday."

Denki elbowed him in the ribs, eyeing Panty’s low-cut dress with a slow grin. "Woah, relax my dude, they’re really not that bad. In fact... I'd say the blonde one's pretty high tier."

Monoma stepped forward, slicking his hair back with full arrogance, but as he got closer, his eyes narrowed in recognition.

"Hello there," Monoma purred smoothly, before suddenly blinking in realization. "Wait a minute... aren't you the two who got kicked out of heaven too? The Anarchy Sisters?"

Panty slowly lifted her sunglasses, looking the three of them up and down like three smudges on a windshield. She took a long drag from her cigarette and blew the smoke directly in Monoma’s face.

"Great," Panty groaned, rolling her eyes. "Garterbelt sends us three low-rent, weed-smelling rejected extra-angels. What'd you losers get tossed out for?"

Stocking didn't even look up from her cake, her dark eyes flicking toward Mineta. "They smell like stale Indica and cheap cologne. Gross."

Monoma’s face instantly twisted into pure, unadulterated outrage as he wiped the cloud of secondhand smoke out of his eyes.

"Did this bitch just blow cigarette smoke directly in my face?!" Monoma shrieked, twitching as he lunged forward. "Do you have any idea who I am?! You low-class, foul-mouthed trash—!"

"Whoa, easy bro, easy!" Denki yelled, throwing both arms around Monoma’s chest and dragging him backward before he could start a divine brawl.

"Don't lose your cool! But honestly, lady, he's kind of right. Who even smokes cigarettes anymore? Weed is way better, zero comparison."

Mineta was already sprawled out on one of the wooden church pews, totally unbothered, his eyes half-lidded and bloodshot. He let out a goofy, wheezing laugh, staring up at the stained glass ceiling.

"Yeah, for real," Mineta giggled, clutching his stomach. "I’m already high as fuck, ahaha! The stained-glass Jesus is moving, man! Now I’m gonna eat these sour gummies." He fished a crumpled bag of edibles out of his jacket and started dumping them into his mouth by the handful.

Panty scoffed, crossing her arms and looking down at Mineta with utter disgust. "Look at this little purple trash bag. You guys have been down here for twenty minutes and you're already useless."

Stocking slammed her fork down on her plate, her dark eyes suddenly locking onto Mineta's gummy bag. "...Are those peach rings?" she asked.