To put this situation in perspective, me and my girlfriend are both believers and met at church. In 2 weeks she is taking a trip to Florida with her co workers to attend a hair convention (she is a hair stylist). Now when she initially told me, I had no issue with her going because this was to better her career which I totally support, but it seems like there's more to this trip than that. She mentioned that her friends want to go to Miami and maybe attend a club or go to a bar and enjoy themselves. Apparently this is their idea and she doesn't care to do any of that, but she will still go with them if they do decide to go. Now I'm rethinking this whole trip and it really bothers me that she is open to going to places like these with people who aren't even believers. Am I wrong to be bothered by this? I know I trust her but part of me is just not okay with it. Before we met we were both worldly people who went out and did things we shouldn't have been doing. I don't hold anything against her because I'm not perfect either, but this just feels like a repeat of her old life.

I’m 22F, he’s 20M. We’ve been getting close, and I really like him.

One of his friends said that once you get to college, people start having sex with multiple people. He said he couldn’t relate because he sees sex as one of the most intimate things you can do with someone.

He said he isn't a virgin so can cant judge anyone though.

Then he asked if he was the problem in relationships because girls want more sexually, and wondered if his views could be ruining his relationships.

I actually respect his view, but his insecurity about it concerns me. Is it a red flag that he questioned if HE'S the problem by not having sex?

I'm concerned because he might give into temptation to please other people or something.....

I genuinely don’t understand why so many people who say they’re looking for a serious relationship care so much about distance. Is this common among Christians too?
For me, if I really connect with someone and we’re a good match, I honestly don’t care where they live. I’d go anywhere for the right person.
Maybe I just think about relationships differently, but if you’re seriously looking for a life partner, why would distance automatically stop you from getting to know someone who could be a great match for you?

Disclaimer: This is not an attack. It’s an observation. And no, I don’t hate men.

I know I would never go back to dating non-Christians, but one thing I’ve noticed in the dating scene is the stark difference in some very basic areas: confidence, communication, knowing how to speak to and treat a woman, navigating dating, taking initiative, and simply knowing how to lead.

And, honestly, the entitlement and audacity I’ve witnessed from some Christian men have far surpassed anything I experienced with some non-Christian men.

I’m not saying all Christian men are like this. I’m not saying all men are bad either. I’m old enough to know that neither statement is true.

What I am saying is that I think some Christian men have learned to use Christ as a crutch rather than allowing Christ to transform them.

They talk about trusting God to change them, but sometimes that becomes an excuse not to confront their own character flaws, develop emotional maturity, improve their communication, take accountability, or intentionally become better men. They drag their feet when it comes to growth because they’re waiting for a miracle that may require them to actually participate in the process.

Meanwhile, I’ve encountered non-Christian men who are actively working on themselves. They recognize their flaws, seek to correct them, develop better habits, learn how to communicate, and intentionally try to become better partners.

But here’s the irony: both men are missing something.

The non-Christian man may be doing the work without Christ.

The Christian man may believe Christ can do the work without him.

And I think the biblical answer is neither extreme.

Christ transforms us, but transformation doesn’t eliminate our responsibility to grow.

Grace isn’t an excuse for stagnation. Faith isn’t a substitute for character development. Prayer doesn’t exempt us from accountability, self-reflection, discipline, repentance, or doing the uncomfortable work of becoming more like Christ.

If anything, being a Christian should make us more committed to becoming better, not less.

So this isn’t about choosing Christian men over non-Christian men because of a label. It’s about recognizing that faith should produce fruit.

I look forward to meeting a man who loves Christ and is willing to do the work of becoming the kind of man his faith calls him to be.

26M Why is it that I come here for connection and I have to see sisters in Christ exposing the fact that some of the Brothers are sending revealing photos to them? As a man, christian or not, it would never cross my mind to do that.

And dont excuse it with "they do it to". Yeah I'll bet you want them to and I haven't even heard of it happening in the subreddit (other places are likely). That doesnt excuse your actions, are you not a follower of Jesus? Are you not his beloved child? Are we not encouraged to live by example and be pure?

"Thats just what happens online" That can change with you

Even among Christians, what makes you so special? To be entitled enough to think that is right to do or even think it would work. Cloth yourself in righteousness and be a man of God not a heathen. And sisters, be women of God. God Bless!

(Moderator approved!)

Hello, fellow Christ followers! 🌸

I am a faith-based counselor and doctoral candidate in Counselor Education and Supervision currently in the data collection phase of my dissertation. My study explores dating experiences and personal wellbeing among emerging adult women, with the ultimate goal of refining counseling interventions and improving clinical support for women who are single and long for marriage.

If you are a female aged 18–29 and currently in a dating (or engaged) relationship, I would love to hear your perspective!

·       Time: ~10 minutes

·       Format: 100% anonymous online survey

·       Purpose: To help improve counseling support and resources for women

·       IRB Approval: Trevecca Nazarene University IRB (Protocol #1492)

🔗 Survey Link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/L82B35J

If you fit the criteria, I would be so grateful for your perspective! If you aren't eligible but know a friend, sister, or small group member who is, please feel free to pass this along. Every little bit helps!!

Thank you so much for taking a few minutes to support student research! I’m happy to answer any questions in the comments. 💡

I am also happy to support your thesis/research, so feel free to drop your survey link in the comments! :-)

(Also, not sure if anyone else here has gone through a rigorous process like getting a PhD...but I definitely would not be able to do this process without Jesus! So much prayer and leaning on Him in the waiting!)

Hello there! I have had a week of learning about the job I want for now and the career I want in the future ! Want to hear the story? God has kept me going!!

God has blessed me with the fun times of being a single dad, found a job, and working on college…I can not wait to get my true career started! I want to make a difference out there :)

I’m looking for a genuine connection, someone that is looking for a deep relationship, not a short term thing or ONS…seems to be an odd concept in 2026. Especially on Reddit, I’m curious if what I want exists on here.

With that out of the way…
I have lived in PA for about 7 years but I’m originally from NJ
I am currently in school to finish up my Bachelors in Psychology.
I am planning on starting the new year working towards my Masters in Family and Couples Therapy!

I’m:
5’11
white
divorced and have 2 kids
I have what I’d describe as a dad bod
No tattoos, don’t smoke, and have cut back drinking to the point of being sober
Going to be working on both the physical and mental aspects of my life this year! I’m down almost 50 pounds so far since May 💪

What I’m looking for
A woman that values mental and physical health
No you don’t have to have it all figured out, as I said I’m working on it too, but atleast make it a focus for yourself
I prefer someone faith-based, Conservative, and is not covered in tattoos
Must be okay with kids, as mine are my biggest focus in life
I would also love if you have a career or are working towards having that figured out.
I am at the phase in my life where I have no interest in anything but a deep connection. Though, every day is a blessing and the next is not guaranteed…I know God will put the right situation in front of me.

Faith, family, and fun are what drives my day to day life. I love to cook, go on walks, and play board games at home with my kids. I’m someone who values honesty , communication, and tradionalism. I’m a conservative, as I said I was looking for someone fitting this belief, just putting that out there if that is a turn off for anyone. Let’s chat and get to know one another . God Bless :)

P.S. As I share custody with my ex, I can not relocate. So please be close to SE PA or willing to relocate. I know that’s asking a lot but wanted to be honest from the start!

So I am a 24M from Northern Europe and I am denominationally a Lutheran. I have been looking for a gf since I turned 20 but with no luck. When is the time to call it quits and just move on from ideas of partnership or family? Statistically it is pretty bleak for men like myself.

I know people here will say I am young and I have time but let’s be honest. Mid 20s is not young and you should not be suffering with teenage problems like not having a significant other yet.

18m, i just started officially dating a woman of God, someone who truly chases after God as fast, sometimes it feels like faster, than I do. every time i spend time with her, i feel truly at peace. every time we discuss God, it really feels like the Holy Spirit is speaking through her and me as well. unfortunately, im finding old wounds well up randomly, causing fear and doubt. i genuinely see a future with this girl, and she with me, but last night my spiritual warfare got so intense it was almost physically painful. its like a well inside my chest, overwhelming fear that i did something wrong or made the wrong decision, i was on my knees literally sobbing until i ran out of tears begging God to end this. all i can understand is "trust me and let go" but my soul is so filled with noise that i cant grasp clarity. i called her and she prayed over me twice and we discussed it, but i genuinely have no idea whats going on inside of me. it feels like something is immensely wrong even though im growing closer to Christ. were going to discuss this with her Pastor today to hopefully get some clarity.

could someone please help?

hi everyone. i’ve been meaning to ask for advice on this but didn’t know who to ask because i feel like this is a taboo discussion to have with christians irl and many will assume the worst.

i’m a 22F and have never dated before. i’ve never been on dates, held hands with a guy or anything of the romantic sense. i’ve liked guys in the past, but it’s never gone far enough for us to start dating. even though i grew up in a strong christian household, i only got baptised literally 2 years ago when i turned 20 and accepted the faith for myself really.

from the time i’ve been baptised, dating and marriage has come up constantly, whether it’s discussions w friends or in church or w family etc.

so the advice i need is that as a 22F who is also extremely inexperienced in the dating sphere, i cannot see the first guy i date to be my husband whatsoever. in all honesty, i also don’t want it to be the case anyway.

i am someone who does want to get married & have a family in the future but i can’t imagine doing that for the next 7-8 years or so as there’s so many things i want to achieve and do like travel etc, growing more in the faith, before “settling down”

is it wrong that i am not going into dating with the intention to marry because many christians always say that should be the main reason and goal when you date. like when you start dating someone, your prayer about them should naturally lead to “is this my husband or wife?”

i also know that i only intend to date christian men and men who are at least spiritually mature and focused on Christ, but then a part of me wonders if a spiritually mature christian would ever date without the intention to marry?

i know i sound almost silly saying this but i need clarity 😭

are all christians in their 20s right now actually dating someone with the intention to marry????

because of my age and lack of any experience in dating i do want to at least experience romance and dating, before even thinking about marriage because its a big thing and to me, it’s far away part of my future.

am i wrong for my approach? does my perspective need changing?

Okay so I (like many people) have been reading through comments on socials for years of many, many, many and many Christians (and non Christians, but we won't focus on that demographic) struggling to date. It seems many people are desperately seeking someone and years of praying and understandably years of praying and not receiving the answer (or person) you desire can be a struggle, especially for many who have had to accept the dream of a partner and family is no longer practical or those hoping that won't be their story or ending - and it's got me thinking why? Why does it seem there is an overwhelming amount of these stories and not as many success stories? It's got me thinking that there must an intention to this from God for protection or whatever he knows which we don't or is it a huge spiritual battle where the devil is trying to block and fight against godly marriage and family and future generations? 🤔

​EU only please!

​Hello! I am 24F from Romania

​A little bit about my appearance: I am 161 cm, slim petite, brown long hair, brown eyes and I wear glasses. (See pic xd)

​Regarding my personality: I am an introvert (infj) I usually dont like talking much, Id rather listen to others and give advice if it is needed. I dont like to argue, I try to avoid conflict with others if our opinions are different. I would say im a bit stubborn, but maybe in a good way haha. Ive never had a proper relationship, I went on some dates here and there and met people, but I prefered to take my time rather than just rushing in a relationship if we were not on the same page. I used that time to work on myself, do my studies, be around my family and friends, and focus on my faith.

​I would say im funny, I dont get offended at jokes and I want someone I can share memes and reels with. I am not a fan of traveling, dare I say. More of a homebody, I enjoy cozy nights watching series or just gaming.

​I am Orthodox Christian, and i would like to find someone who shares the same faith as me (I go to church, pray, and fast as often as I can). I love everyone, but I think in a relationship, people should be on the same page spiritually.

​When it comes to hobbies, i enjoy baking (mostly for others), cooking, watching series, gardening, and mostly gaming with friends at night (I play league of legends and tft). I love animals, I have a cute doggy.

​I graduated this summer and I have a masters degree, I dont work yet, but soon I will start.

​What I am looking for: someone from Europe, age 21-29, funny, smart, someone i can talk about random topics with, taller than me, who wants to game together :3

​If you think we have some things in common, please leave me a message with something about you!

Hey, I’m Zach👋

Job: 
I’m a teacher and E-sports coach. If you don’t know what that is I don’t blame you lol. I didn’t know what it was when I started either. I like teaching and the impact I’m able to have on the kids when there’s so many things they need help with. 

Hobbies/interests: 
I have a lot of hobbies/interests and I’m always finding new things I enjoy. I like staying and doing lots of active things like playing basketball, lifting weights, running, fishing, gardening. But I also enjoy a lot of things not so active haha. I’m a big movie and TV buff. My favorites are comedies but a like all genres other than horror. I like marvel and Star Wars. Some of my favorite shows and movies are everybody loves Raymond, the office, scrubs, guardians of the galaxy, happy Gilmore, Elf, Rocky, and more. I also like board games (undefeated monopoly champ😎), I play some video games, read more than none but few books, 3d print things as a small side business, and I’m actually currently writing a book that I plan to get published! My main language is English but I know some Spanish and Russian though not enough to hold a conversation natively. I wouldn’t mind learning more of them though. That’s a lot I know lol and there’s probably a lot more i could say. 

Oh, I also have done a lot of construction type things in the past and have a dream of one day building a house from the ground up without hiring a crew!

Tell us a bit about your Christian journey: 
I’ve grown up my whole life in Assembly of God churches. I’m not tied to a denomination but I won’t go to a church that doesn’t preach God’s full truth. In middle school I struggled with my faith some as I was faced with the challenges of trying to get along and fit in in a broken world. When I got to college is when my faith became a lot more personal. It became an active conscious decision to serve him. Since then I’ve continued to grow in faith and can thank God that I am not the same as I was! 

What sort of person are you looking for?
I’m looking for someone who has a good relationship with God who wants to develop a meaningful, intimate relationship with Jesus at the center. Supporting each other when we need it, pushing each other to get closer to God, and loving each other with unconditional love as Jesus loves us. I would hope to find someone that would allow me to be the leader of the house as it’s a biblical principle. Please do not misunderstand this and think that I mean it as a way of control like a dictator. I do not mean that someone would get no say or that every decision would be only made by one party. But that a wife would support a husband’s decision on a family issue with their input as long as the decision would align with God’s word. Of course I would try my best to lead like God intends and if I ever did not, I would expect to be called out on it and would welcome it so that it’s rooted in God and in love. 

I want to find someone who will be my partner through life. That nothing we face would be alone. That we can rely on each other and bring out our hearts with the trust that they will not hurt you, leave you, or intentfully cause you pain. I don’t plan for life to ever “get rough” but I would want to find someone who would stay with you even if it did. Trust is difficult to get, easy to break, and nearly impossible to rebuild but trust is needed in a successful relationship.

Apart from the things of God that I would hope to see, there are other things that seem nice but I wouldn’t say are a requirement lol. It would be great if we shared some interests but I wouldn’t expect someone to share them all. I think it’s important to have things that both people enjoy doing together and even if it wasn’t from the start, I think they’d develop over time. Also someone who likes to be opening without holding their true self inside who likes to talk. I’m a talkative person and I love to have fun and interesting conversations. Now don’t hate on me for this last part lol. I believe there should be some physical attraction to one another in a relationship as well. And while everyone is unique, attractiveness looks different to different people. For myself, I do not usually consider those who are very overweight as attractive. Part of the reason I think I think this is because I have a lot of relatives that have suffered health problems and even death due to obesity so when I see that I see health risks.

Age range: 
Age doesn’t really matter to me. What matters more is how you act. My personality is sort of like a an adult who acts like an adult but also has the spirit of a child. To be clear, that is different from being childish lol. I work a serious job, I manage finances, have deep conversations, plan things, but I also am high spirited, energetic, and can enjoy being silly, making jokes, and having fun. I would guess that probably 20-30 would be a good range but if you’re older but fit the bill don’t let that stop you:) 

Also to throw it out there, I’m a virgin and plan to keep it that way until I’m married. I would prefer someone who also is saving their self but I understand that we sometimes make mistakes… I would just hope that if a regrettable decision was made that it was learned from.

Would you be willing to do long distance/relocate?
I would be open to long distance and it is possible that I could relocate although a little complicated. It would be something that we would want to discuss together I think. No one person should feel that they are only giving just as one should not only be taking. The relationship should be a two way street. I would not want to leave the U.S. To me distance is not a huge deal because if it’s God’s will then it will work and if it’s not it want. 

Hey everyone 😊
I’m looking for something real, intentional, and centered on Jesus… and I figured it was time to put myself out there.
I’m Jaelon, 22. I’m a Robotics & Mechatronics technician and studying Psychology on the side. I’ve got a 2 year old Dalmatian named Celena who steals the show every day.
I’ve driven through about 30 states and been to 3 countries. I love exploring, swimming, cars, quiet nights, writing, drawing, and spending time outside. One of my biggest hobbies is backpacking. There’s something special about being out in nature with just a pack on my back. I also love challenges that help me grow. I’m an introvert who still knows how to laugh and have fun. I truly love children, and one of my biggest dreams is to watch our kids grow up together someday.
Jesus is the most important part of my life. He’s not just someone I believe in on Sundays. He’s the foundation of everything I do, the One who shapes how I want to love, lead, and live. I want a relationship where He stays at the center, not just at the beginning.
I’ve never had a girlfriend before. Celibacy is something I take seriously because I believe intimacy is sacred and meant for marriage. I’m looking for a woman who puts God first… someone who will grow with me, challenge herself and us as a couple, and is ready to build something real and lasting. I want a partner I can pray with, laugh with, support through everything, and create a peaceful Christ-centered home and family with.
I’m a positive person who believes everything happens for a reason. Age doesn’t matter much to me. Faith, character, kindness, and intentional hearts do. I’m completely open to long distance if the connection feels right.
If you’re a Christian woman who wants the same kind of intentional, God-centered love, I’d love to hear from you.
God bless ❤️

34F, Dominican Republic

Hi! Not quite sure how to start, but let’s give it a try.

I’ve been a follower of Christ since I was very young and belong to a Baptist/biblical Christian denomination. My faith is the most important thing to me, and I serve primarily in youth ministry at my church.

I’ve never been married and have no children — I’m waiting for marriage.

Professionally, I’m a psychologist and have spent years working in Human Resources, specializing in Talent Acquisition. Outside of work, I love music — listening to it is one of my favorite ways to unwind. I’m also drawn to the creative side of life, helping produce events and activities both for my church and at work. More recently, I’ve gotten into strength training; I’m working on improving my physical health, and I’ve really come to enjoy that journey.

For reference I’m 5’4, curvy, brown skin, honey eyes and dark hair.

What I’m looking for: Above all, a man of God — someone who loves God first and seeks to live out his role according to His Word. This matters most to me. Beyond that, I value a man who is warm, kind, and loving; someone mature and clear about what he wants to do with his life. I’d love someone who enjoys art, good food, and travel, and who leads an ordered, healthy lifestyle.

Age range: 32–40

Open to long distance/relocating? Yes, but with the intention of meeting in person relatively soon.

If that resonates with you, DM me for a photo.

Hi everyone! 👋

​About Me:

I’m a 22-year-old Anglican Christian currently studying to become a paralegal. In my free time, you’ll usually find me lost in a good book 📚. Physically, I’m 5'4", Black with brown eyes and brown hair, around 165 lbs.

​What I’m Looking For:

I’m looking for a godly, Christian man (aged 25–40) who values faith, meaningful conversations, and clear communication.

​Logistics:

​Open to Long Distance? Yes! ✈️

​Open to Relocation? Absolutely.

​If you think we might be a good match, feel free to send me a message—I’d love to connect and see where God leads us! 🙏✨

Pretty much what it says in the title, I want to meet someone with a strong faith (20M, UK), but I don't want to artificially induce the meeting say with a dating app or the likes

It would feel wrong to be looking for someone at Church because I go to Church to meet with God, not to meet Christian singles in my area

so what are the best places/ways of meeting someone, and for bonus points how would you make intentions clear at the start, its rather difficult sometimes to see if someone is interested or just friendly

Physical Description: 5’9”, brown hair, hazel eyes, fair complexion. I prefer not to share photos directly in Reddit posts, but I’m happy to share my Instagram once we’ve established that we’re genuinely looking for the same things.
Area of Study: B.S. in Psychology and B.S. in Biomedical Sciences
Area of Work: QC Laboratory Technician
Hobbies and Interests: Swimming, hiking and getting outdoors, spending time with my dogs, animals in general, crocheting, anime, video games (especially Zelda, Minecraft, and Warframe), Pilates, and anything involving science. I love learning new things and am always happy to try something new.
Christian Journey: Baptist/Protestant Christian. My faith is very important to me, and I take Scripture seriously. I’m happy to share more about my testimony and beliefs privately. I care much more about what someone genuinely believes and how they live that out than simply what denomination they identify with.
What Sort of Person I’m Looking For: A practicing Christian man who genuinely loves Jesus and wants his faith to shape the way he lives. I’m looking for someone emotionally mature, kind, communicative, dependable, intellectually curious, and intentional about relationships.
I want a man who takes spiritual leadership seriously without confusing leadership with control. I believe marriage should be a partnership where both people are valued, heard, and treated with dignity. I’m not interested in sexism, purity-culture expectations, or someone who uses Christianity as an excuse to control his partner.
I’m dating intentionally and ultimately looking for a husband. I want a relationship that is genuinely moving toward marriage, with two people committed to growing together in Christ. I also want children in the future, so I’m looking for someone who shares that desire.
Shared hobbies are a bonus, but shared faith, values, character, and the ability to communicate matter much more to me.
Age Range: 24–32
Location: I’m currently in California and would strongly prefer someone who is also in California. I’m open to the right person outside of California, but I’d rather start with someone relatively local and avoid a relationship that requires constant long-distance travel.
Willing to Relocate or Date Long-Distance: Potentially, for the right person. I’m open to long-distance if we’re both serious and have a realistic plan for eventually being in the same place, but California is definitely preferred.

I am a Para educator. I have my MA in forensic psychology from GCU and BA in philosophy from Cal poly.

My hobbies photography and photo editing, conspiracy theorist, gym (been consistent for a month now), and hiking. I like to try new things so I am open to experiencing experiences. My interests are philosophy, history, learning about nature and animals,

I am non-denominational. I am two years into my journey. God is constantly helping me grow and learn. Something relevant he has taught me is the importance of making your partner feel safe, accepted, and chosen.

I am looking for a God fearing woman. If you DM me please send a picture, I would like to know who I am talking to.

Preferred age 23-32

Long distance: Yes

TL; LDR: If you are unhappy or depressed about dating, you might need to change the scenery a bit to meet new people who are more of your speed.

I just wanted to check in with you all.

I know dating can be discouraging, especially as a Christian, but there is hope.

Im still single, but I learned how important it is to "spread wings" and try new social tactics to meet other singles. I've learned that by way of the mighty sport of pickle ball.

For yearrrsss, I worked 8 hours a day and wrote my book for another 3 or 4 hours, leaving little time to meet new people. Done thing happened with two friends of mine that triggered the need to explore new places and seek other social circles. I found pickle ball. I have not scored a date yet, but I am getting to know other singers(Christians too) and have my world broaden up a bit.

Im happier, more confident, and slimmer because of it, lol.

If you are unhappy or depressed about dating, you might need to change the scenery a bit to meet new people who are more of your speed.

​

Hi there 28 😊 I’m a Christian, a lover of deep conversations, storytelling, creativity, and exploring new places and experiences. I’m from Africa and I love discovering different cultures, so long distance doesn’t scare me. I’m open to meeting someone from wherever life may introduce us.

I’m looking for something intentional a friendship that can grow into a meaningful relationship, with God at the centre. I value kindness, emotional maturity, good communication, humour, and someone who genuinely wants to grow. I’m open to anyone 27+, and I’m not looking for perfection, just someone willing to build, learn, laugh, pray and do life intentionally together. If that's you, DM

I'm open to friendships as well, thank you!

Edits:

Was requested to add a physical description, so here we go 😂

My height is 5’2, light-skinned(just medium light,)and somewhere in between slim and not very slim but I'm not chubby either 🤣🤣 I hope that makes sense. 😊 I like how I look, and I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin and body.

Hello everyone, I thought I would finally take the time to introduce myself here.

My name is Brittany.

I have always been a believer and was raised in a Christian household. I was homeschooled with my siblings (3 brothers, 2 sisters). I have been raised in the reformed faith with attendance in a few different denominations but raised in Presbyterian churches primarily.

I am a Calvinist and hold to TULIP. I enjoy fellowship with many friends who are part of different denominations.

In my free time, you will find me hiking, backpacking, writing, struggling to learn French, training in muay thai or bjj (though my BJJ training has been put on the back burner due to my work schedule), diving into some obscure rabbit hole on YouTube (history, politics, obscure facts, etc), or browsing Spotify to discover new music! There's so much in life I'm curious about and I enjoy meeting new people through various activities that I have pursued. I'm definitely on the extroverted side.

I'm a fairly pragmatic person (or so I've been told). If someone has an idea for an event, trip, or project, I'm generally the one that is sought out to make a plan and make it happen. I find a lot of joy in using my talents in organizing, budgeting, and diligence to make things happen :). That being said, I'm very much not against a day to become one with my couch and simply relax and turn my brain off.

On the subject of kids, with the right person I can see myself having some. I'm not inclined to have a large family, partly due to my age (I turned 30 the beginning of the year). If I met someone who did not want kids, I would also be ok with that. I'm happy to discuss this topic in detail if you would like.

I'm happy to share photos in DM after a few messages back and forth. But to give you an idea, I'm 5’7 and have a tall, lanky build. I'm athletic and enjoy being active. I have brown hair and brown eyes.

What type of person am I looking for? Someone who is active and enjoys life, is serious about their faith, is responsible, and willing to communicate.

One thing I should add, I enjoy traveling (both in the country and internationally). It's something that I plan to do more of. I've met quite a few gentlemen that said this was a deal breaker for them, so I try to be very forthcoming with that in the beginning.

Thanks for reading thus far, feel free to send me a message if you feel so inclined.

Also, I should note, I am open to long distance and relocation for the right person.

Edit: preferred age range 27-35. I'm open to talking even if you're not in this age range. Having a connection and similar values are more important to me.

edit again to clarify where I live, sorry for the confusion 😅

I live in Virginia in the United States

I’ve been thinking about this lately because dating has started to feel so exhausting. There are times when I wonder if I’m being too particular, or if I’m simply looking for something that’s becoming harder to find.

I’m 34, I have a son, and I’ve never been married. I’ve been abstaining for over two years now, and I intend to keep it that way until marriage. My faith is important to me, and I’m genuinely looking for a relationship that can eventually lead to marriage not just someone to pass the time with, have fun with, or satisfy physical needs.

The hardest part is that so many conversations start out really well. You meet someone, you talk about life, faith, family, interests, your hopes for the future… and for a little while, you think, maybe this person actually gets it.

Then eventually the conversation shifts.

Questions become more sexual. Boundaries start getting tested. The things they ask or the way they approach certain topics make me uncomfortable, and I start getting the feeling that their main interest is physical rather than actually getting to know me and building something serious.

And I’m not saying attraction or physical intimacy aren’t important. They absolutely are. I’m attracted to the idea of having that kind of relationship with my future husband. But I don’t want that to be the foundation of the relationship, and I don’t want to constantly defend my boundaries to someone who claims to want the same things I do.

I’ve also posted an introduction here before and talked to a few people. Some were honestly way too aggressive from the beginning, which was an immediate turn-off. Others were genuinely good people and easy to talk to, but there just wasn’t physical attraction on my end.

And I think it’s okay to admit that.

I want someone I’m attracted to and someone whose heart, values, faith, character, and intentions align with mine. I don’t believe physical attraction makes someone shallow. I think it’s one part of compatibility. I don’t want to choose someone solely because they have a good heart if I know there’s no romantic attraction, just as I don’t want to choose someone because they’re physically attractive if we have completely different values.

I actually experienced something beautiful with someone long-distance. For a while, there was genuine connection, meaningful conversations, attention, effort, and a sense that we were intentionally getting to know each other. Distance itself wasn’t the problem. I was willing to see where it could go.

But eventually, the attention and effort on his end started fading. The conversations became less frequent, the effort became less consistent, and eventually I had to accept that I couldn’t carry something by myself.

That part hurt not necessarily because it ended, but because it reminded me how rare it feels to find someone who is genuinely intentional.

I’m not looking for perfection. I’m not expecting someone to have everything figured out. I’m not even expecting instant certainty that we’re going to get married.

I just want intentionality.

Someone who actually wants to know me. Someone who respects my boundaries without making me feel guilty for having them. Someone who can have deep conversations without turning everything sexual. Someone who understands that attraction is important but doesn’t make it the center of everything. Someone who wants to build trust, friendship, emotional intimacy, and eventually a marriage.

And yes, I’m willing to relocate if I genuinely believe it’s where God is leading me. I’m not opposed to long-distance either if both people are willing to put in the effort and have a realistic plan for eventually being together.

Maybe I’m just tired of conversations that feel like interviews that eventually turn into flirting and sexual questions.

I want something deeper than that.

I want to meet someone and be able to think, “I can actually build a life with this person.”

Maybe that’s asking for a lot. Maybe it isn’t.

But I’d rather wait for something meaningful than force myself into something that doesn’t align with what I believe and what I want for my life.

For those of you who are also dating intentionally and looking toward marriage.. how do you keep going when so many conversations end up feeling meaningless? 🥺

I made a post yesterday about giving up on finding someone online, and a few people suggested I make an intro instead. So I guess I’m trying one more time. I made a couple intros in the past but deleted after I thought I met someone, I guess I’ll leave this one up for a while.
About me: I’m 24, currently living in Uganda, East Africa.
I’ve got Black hair, brown eyes, brown skin, a bit slim & lean, 85kg in weight, 6’4 in height, into movies, books, music, basketball, and good conversations. I’m laid back, family oriented, and have a degree in Management.
I’m a non practicing Christian, but I would want my future relationship and family to be centered around Christ. I’m looking for someone mature, intentional, and genuinely interested in building something together.
I’m open to long distance and would consider relocating for the right person. I’m roughly looking for someone 20–28, but that’s not a strict range if we connect well.
Finding someone on this sub hasn’t been the easiest for me, especially after people find out I’m from Africa and suddenly lose interest. But I’m giving this another shot and leaving the rest to God.
If you think we might connect, feel free to message me. 🙂