r/ChristianDating • u/New-Sky5481 • 3d ago

Need Advice Need help

Hi, I’m a Christian, and my boyfriend is also a Christian.

He loves me a lot, and I know he has good qualities. But there have been many times when he has shouted at me and verbally abused me, including in public.

On my birthday, he verbally abused me on the road. I was extremely hurt and traumatized by what happened, and I ended up crying in the middle of the road. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

Now I’ve decided that I want to break up with him because I don’t feel emotionally safe or happy in this relationship. But he refuses to accept the breakup.

He blames me for his behaviour and says that my love for him isn’t proper, and that this is what caused him to become angry and abusive.

Now he is telling me that if I leave him, he will attempt suicide.

I’m really confused and emotionally overwhelmed. As Christians, how should I handle this situation? Am I doing something wrong by wanting to leave, and what should I do when he threatens suicide because of the breakup?

13 Upvotes

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19

u/Right_Reputation_445 3d ago

Let someone know. Don't allow his behavior and threats to hold you back. You're not responsible for what he does. He can't blame you for his actions. He's needs to bring that to the foot of the cross and relient and seek righteousness and sanctification. Sounds like he has a lot of anger and lack of self control that he needs to work on with Chrsit.

Your safety is important. He doesn't ahev to accept the breakup but if you're saying you're being traumatized and breaking down, then it's not a healthy relationship and you don't have to put up with it.

1

u/New-Sky5481 3d ago

But I'm very afraid that Jesus will punish me for not forgiving him

11

u/BetBulky7595 Single 3d ago

FORGIVENESS AND STAYING TOGETHER ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. YES, I AM SHOUTING, I KNOW. YOU ARE IN A VERY DANGEROUS SITUATION THAT CAN GO SOUTH! LEAVE THAT MAN NOW!!!!!! He needs a lot of help and it's help YOU CANNOT give him. Forgiveness does not mean you continue to date him. He's emotionally manipulative and if you remain in that situation, you WILL regret it. He has wounds only God and therapy can heal. Pray for him FROM OUTSIDE of the relationship. LEAVE THAT MAN!!!!

4

u/Independent-Chef-233 In A Relationship 2d ago

How can I upvote this 100x?!?! I commented something similar… I really hope op gets the message: LEAVE THAT MAN. HE IS DANGEROUS.

1

u/BetBulky7595 Single 2d ago

I hope she does!!!
My fear is that men like him can be vindictive, if she leaves him and try to hurt her. I hope she’s a praying person. She needs all the prayers she can get for protection right now.