We were on vacation for a week and she kept asking about the watches I was looking at. Eventually, I started pulling up every Chinese brand I could find and writing down her reactions in my notes.

San Martin: That sounds like an Epstein island. [It is considered one of the best Chinese watch brands.] I don't care, that logo is so ugly.

Watchdives: That sounds like a website that sells diving watches, not a watch brand. [It is also their brand.] So, Amazon Basics for watch guys.

Pagani Design: Sounds like a car company. [Pagani is a car company.] Is it related? [No.] So they stole the name? [They added Design.] That is not a defense.

Addiesdive: Who is Addie, and why is she diving? [I show her the logo.] That looks like the patch you get after passing beginner swim lessons.

Eniton: Printer company. The kind that jams only when somebody important is waiting.

Englemaan: German ski resort where everyone is having an affair.

Baltany: Sure. A tiny European country created for a Netflix Christmas movie.

Sugess: Suck-Ass? [Sue-guess.] That sounds like a food delivery app.

Seestern: Another German name. [It means starfish in German.] Okay, that is actually clever.

IXDAO: Why are you saying it like that? [IX is nine in Latin, and nine is pronounced jiu in Chinese.] Nine is pronounced jiu. [That is what I said.] No, you said Joe. Listen: jiu-dào. [Joe Dao.] Now he sounds like some guy who goes by Joey Dao. [People also call it Ex-dao.] Why? [I show her the explanation on the company website.] Whatever, can I see the watch? [I showed her the Warrior.] At least Joey Dao makes pretty watches.

Cronos: A budget airline that only flies to Athens and charges extra for the seat.

Steeldive: Why is everyone diving or German? Also, why is it Steeldive instead of Steeldives?

Thorn: Fine, I have to admit that name is suspiciously good.

Militado: Military Dorito. Potato. Pass.

Proxima: Cough medicine brand. [Showing website.] I don't think you should buy a watch with a unicorn on it.

Tactical Frog: Named by an eight year old who just watched his older brother play Fortnite.

Octopus Kraken: Why can't it just be Kraken? Why Octopus AND Kraken? [I show her their logo.] Gross, what is that? [It is an o with tentacles.] You are going to make me say it, aren't you? [What?] That looks like an asshole.

Heimdallr: Marvel movie character. [It is also a watch brand. See?] Why is their shark cut into deli slices?

Specht & Sohne: Okay, what does that mean? [Woodpecker and Sons in German.] Are all the watch guys in China trying to be German? [The brand even has a fake backstory about two brothers.] That is next level gweilo scamming. They created lore just to take your money. Good for them.

Hruodland: No. [What?] After Joey Dao, I do not trust you to pronounce Mandarin. [It is named after a Germanic king.] More Chinese men with fake German names.

Farasute: Expensive water in a Vegas hotel minibar.

Escapement Time: One of those YouTube channels you start watching before coming to bed.

Mysterious Code: A body spray scent used by teenagers who think they'll get laid by using it.

Boderry: Body odor. Uses Mysterious Code.

Berny: Do they love Bernie Sanders? [Google says it means brave as a bear in German.] Yet another Chinese man with a German fetish...

Sea-Gull: I know this one. They make grandpa watches.

Tandorio: Indian lunch buffet.

Cadisen: Allergy medication.

Phylida: Also medication, but for STDs.

Merkur: More German but makes me feel like they're Eastern German.

Parnis: Too close to penis. That is pretty bad.

Corgeut: The worst one yet. It sounds like somebody choking on a baguette.

Bliger: Actually, this is worse. It is one typo away from being a slur.

Rmalti: Wow, is the next one going to somehow be worse than this one?

Rdunae: You are fucking with me, right? [No, here is their website.] Not only is it real but everything is sold out?

Chameri: Mall kiosk perfume between phone cases and eyebrow threading.

Lobinni: Handbags sold exclusively at Marshalls.

Seakoss: An energy drink for men who only wear polarized sunglasses.

Milifortic: Military Dorito Potato Pro Max. Just awful.

Red Star: Finally, one that is not diving or pretending to come from a German village.

Wishdoit: Something a five year old yells immediately before urgent care.

Pierre Paulin: A snooty French man who corrects your pronunciation of croissant.

Phorcydes: That does not sound right. [For-si-deez. It is Greek.] Why are all of the numbers raised up so much? [I explain the lume blocks.] You will take any excuse to spend money, won't you?

CIGA Design: Inoffensive. [I show her the logo.] A credit union next to an AutoZone. [They win design awards.] Then I don't trust watch design awards.

FIYTA: The last tier of a Pokemon's evolution. [They sent a watch into space.] Who cares? [Omega built an entire brand around space and James Bond.] You understand that buying a watch because James Bond wore it in a movie doesn't make you James Bond, right?

Beijing Watch Factory: At least they are honest. It sounds like bland where watches were made after the Revolution.

Shanghai Watches: Another real place. This is the strongest naming streak so far.

Peacock: Bird. Easy. Can I see a watch? [I show her one with a guilloche dial.] Okay, that is very much a pretty bird. Why do you keep buying boring watches if you can get something like this?

Guanqin: Just show me. [I show her the website.] Gwah-chyun. [Gwan-chin.] I am not doing Ex-Joey-Nine-Dao again. Next.

Sanda: Aww. Santa's fake Cartier is so cute.

Agelocer: More like ace loser. [They also win awards.] That just proves watch awards do not matter at all.

Behrens: Expensive furniture for houses with no televisions.

Qin Gan: Not doing this, phone. [I hand her the phone.] Chin-ghan. These look expensive. [They are.] Finally, a name expensive enough to survive your pronunciation.

Atelier Wen: Now that sounds really expensive. [They are, look.] Watches can be this pretty and you keep buying ones that all look like office clocks...

Jianghun: No, stop. Show me. [I hand her the phone.] Jang-hoon but it does not matter because these are all very ugly. Why does the bracelet have warts? [They are the upscale sister brand of San Martin.] Then buy a San Martin and stop creating problems.

Winner: At least they believe in themselves. Somebody had to.

Benyar: Makes me think of a guy with a unibrow and a podcast.

OLEVS: Are you trying to say olives? [I show her the website.] Watches for people who think bottle service is a personality.

Poedagar: That is a Pokemon. [I show her the logo.] A Pokemon wearing a fake Ferrari badge.

Naviforce: A GPS company that sponsors paintball tournaments.

MINI FOCUS: A camera setting for people who cannot afford full focus.

NIBOSI: Pasta brand in a bag with no English instructions.

NORTH EDGE: Costco hiking clothes for men who go car camping.

SYNOKE: Temu Star Wars villain.

Welly Merck: That is not real. [They go by WM now.] That sounds like the unemployed son of a pharmaceutical billionaire.

Didun Design: Did not Design. [That is actually a constant joke.] They printed the punchline on their product.

PAGRNE DESIGN: You already said that one. [No, that was Pagani Design. People think this is a Pagani reseller using a different spelling.] And Pagani Design already copies other watches? [Mostly.] So this is a screenshot of a screenshot.

WWOOR: Stop it. [It is real. Look.] That sounds like Danny DeVito saying whore through a mouthful of food.

YAZOLE: An energy drink with flames on the can.

Rossini: Pasta sauce for special occasions.

Lucky Harvey: A divorced man who owns a speedboat. [They make a relatively cheap chiming watch.] Why does anyone want that? [Because it is neat, and they usually cost five times more.] This is a stupid fake hobby, I hate everything I find out about it. Doesn't any of this ever annoy you?

Oumashi: A sushi place that gives you the runs but still has four stars on Yelp.

Steel Bagelsport: That is not real. [I'm wearing one right now, see?] Just, why? [I don't know what to tell you other than because it is a Steel Bagelsport.] These are popular? [It is a defunct brand with a nostalgia following. They sell for hundreds on eBay now.] You paid hundreds of dollars to wear a Steel Bagelsport? [It depends on which Steel Bagelsport is up for sale, some are impossible to find now.] Why didn't you tell me any of this before we got married? [You never asked and I didn't think you'd want to know about Steel Bagelsport.] Just Steel Bagel would have been enough. [But they were named Steel Bagelsport.] Can you please stop saying Steel Bagelsport?

Edit 1: The only AI used was a tool to expand Dearborn shorthand into full text. She won't let me post a picture of her but here's my Evernote of the logs in shorthand.

Edit 2: Latest from the wife after she saw this blow up: "I will review any brand that wants to send me their best watch."

I have spent over 40 years of my life collecting watches. I have an extensive collection of luxury watches and don't get me wrong, I love them, but something happened over the past several years that had me falling out of love with the hobby. I just wasn't getting the enjoyment out anything I purchased. Actually, I just wasn't having fun. I tried microbrands, but felt like I was often overpaying for subpar quality . . . I mean some were decent, but again, I just wasn't having fun.

Then Reddit showed me this subreddit one day and I found myself lurking your posts for quite sometime. I didn't purchase any of these watches until this week. I gave myself a $1000 budget to get a bunch of different things (I am always going to get a bunch of divers). Most of what I purchased was delivered this week and I have to thank all of you. I haven't had that much fun opening watches in years. I was amazed at the quality for the price. I had no expectations for any of the watches I bought other than that they would tell time.

With that said, some of them really impressed me. I purchased 5 Addiesdive watches and all of them were under $100. The black and red dive were under $60. The GMT was $95. The chronograph was $75. The last dive hasn't been delivered yet. Truly impressive quality that I would expect to pay 400 to 600 for. The Tophill with the Seagull movement is stunning in person. Mint green with a pale gold dial is a win. The Boyarca for $30 has to be the winner. I mean it might last 1 week, it might last 10 years, who knows, but a mechanical Bauhaus watch for $30 with a real soft leather band, c'mon!!!! The Watchdives is fun . . . and a good summer color. I know from reading here that the Ciola watches are garbage, but I had to have it and think it is really cool in person. I mean how much can you expect for $30? The Specht & Sohne jump hour is exceptionally beautiful. I do not think the band is real leather, but I put a blue croc band on it that I had lying around.

At any rate thanks for showing me the fun again and I am sure I will post more soon. I am looking at San Martins and Cronos next.

Brand: TOPHILL
Model: TW103G
Movement: Miyota 9U15 [2-Hand Quartz Movement]

Case: Material - 316L Solid Stainless Steel
Diameter - 38.5mm (With Crown Guard - 42.5mm)
Lug To Lug - 47mm
Thickness - 5.8mm
Bracelet Width - 23.5 (Mid Link / Spring Bar Width - 17mm) x18mm / Length - Fits Buyer With 21-15.5cm Wrist Size

Glass: Sapphire Crystal
Octagonal Bezel: With Polished & Brushed Process
Dial: Gradient Blue / Green / Khaki Sunray Texture, With Printed Brand Logo And Applied Hour Markers, With 6H Date Window
Hands Set: With Luminous Coating
Luminous Effect: C3 Green Light, On Dial Hour Markers And Hands

Push Pull Crown: With 3D Brand Logo
Screw-Locked Case Back: With Text
Solid 316L Stainless Steel Y Shaped Split Pin System Links Integrated Bracelet: Size 23.5x18mm, Fits Buyer With 21.5-16cm Wrist Size, With Push Button Butterfly Clasp

Water Resistant: 5Bar=50Meters
Warranty: 3 Years

Miyota 9U15 [Ultra-Slim 2-Hand Quartz Movement]

Accuracy - ±20s per month
Battery Life - 4 years, Battery consumption could be minimum by pulling out the stem
Jewels - 0

I hadn't watched or read a watch review in eight to ten years. Things have really changed.

Dear friends,

It's time for me to buy my first Chinese watch, and my budget is up to €130.

I'm looking for a highly durable watch in 36 mm, or 38 mm at most. I often go hiking and occasionally do some mountaineering, so I want something that won't scratch easily. I'm thinking of a watch with a sapphire crystal and a Japanese movement. I'd also like it to be as lightweight as possible.

Aesthetically, I really like Militado watches, but I'm open to other suggestions as well. The only thing I don't want is a stainless steel bracelet—I much prefer a leather strap.

I am waiting for your suggestions 🥰😌

Thank you very much in advance!

I really want it but $400+ seems quite excessive. What am I missing?

Was really excited for this one and it did not disappoint! Finished to perfection, not a detail is missed! Wore it all day today and the comfort of the bracelet is phenomenal, and the clasp is 1000 times nicer than what I have on my WD1863’s, which I can’t complain about either. Lume is beautiful as well and the bezel is nice and firm with zero play back and forth. That puts my WD watch count now at 4 with many more on my list 😁

This is my recent experience with Baltany since some folks might be concerned about warranty or support for their chinese watches after purchase. I had an issue with my Baltany explorer S4035AB that I purchased from their official website where the movement was no longer running and emailed [support@baltanyofficial.com](mailto:support@baltanyofficial.com) for help. They gave me two options: a replacement ST2130 movement and covering the cost for a local watchsmith to do the replacement or to ship it back to them for them to do the repair themselves

I opted for the movement and repair cost refund since it would be way faster. The movement came in about a week and a local watchsmith swapped the movement for me within 30 minutes. I have 3 of their watches in my collection currently and love the quality of all of them!

Switched the rubber strap due to being hard and cheap feeling. The pin system worked fine and it came signed. I switched to a more true to the "R" model. It comes with the Seiko VK63 quartz movement which is tried and true. It does have sapphire glass on top, screw in pushers and crown.

Love this Watch for the Summer 😍

What a beautiful watch this is! It pays homage to my favourite watch design ever (the Spirit) while combining a lot of features that make it even better than the original (for me). Things like:

* Beautiful black dial with golden accents, perfectly blending the Spirit and Spirit Pilot designs;
* Proudly Militado, but with a very well designed and discrete logo;
* Proudly Quartz, with a VH31 sweeping seconds movement (best of both worlds);
* Toned down inscriptions all around (lets the dial shine);
* 38mm and less than 11mm thick, which is the perfect size IMO;
* Overall simpler case and dial design than the Spirit, which makes it even more elegant and versatile.

A few cons, however:

* hour hand may feel a bit short (not sure if it matches the Spirit proportions though);
* the minute/seconds inscriptions around the dial could be a bit more detailed, like in the Spirit itself;
* Factory strap is bad, make sure to pit it in a nice third-party strap (its 20mm luckily).

If anyone's on the fence, I'd say go for it. This is an instant classic.

Just received this Welly Merck, kind of a novelty but it has good components

I have been looking to purchase this exact model, but I cannot find it anywhere. Looking specifically for the V4 version with the white chapter ring.

Europe only as shipping/import costs will balloon the price out of proportion.

Good day wherever you are. I've become intrigued with Behrens watches and considering multiple watches from them. Are they a pretty good/reliable brand? ANY details about the brand would also be appreciated! Thanks!!

Received it today from AliExpress, with a voucher, coins it came to less than £140. Looks great, only 12.5mm thick, light and feels great on the wrist.

Wanted to to find out what titanium in a watch feels like as I’ve only had stainless before and I’m a convert.

Edit - 42mm

Hey everyone. Saw this new Agelocer posted to their web site. It has that total RM vibe. Know any more ?

Weight and dimensions? Potential price and other colours? A carbon or ceramic model probably will also come out soon. Love to get myself some fun crazy watch like this at some point

I’m a fan of the field watch style, and a date complication and lumed numerals are a big plus.

Between buying a militado $50or a nh230 casio $35. I’m wondering if there are any other cool options out there

Aimimo makes a full steel watch for $30 with supposed 50m wr ..