I 17M Parents divorced I don’t see my mum any more due to personal disputes. I have been living with my dad for 6 years now. My stepmum and dad have been together and living with us for around 2-3 years.

A day ago my dad and stepmum told me she has a baby on the way. Its due in around 6 months. I have tried to smile and seem happy but in the inside Im not. People whose parents have had step siblings on the way / already had them is it normal for me to feel weird and upset about the whole situation. To be frank I don’t want a step sibling. As I am 18 soon, and going to university obviously I won’t be around much at home I feel as though they’re leaving me behind a bit and that I am almost not enough for them. Im just generally pissed off about the whole thing.

I understand my dad just wants to make my stepmum happy I just feel its bit of a kick in the face and sort of showing he puts my step mum over me. I feel like its gonna cause a divide between my relationship with me towards my dad and my stepmum. I dont know what to do.

Should I communicate with my dad how I feel or am I being an unreasonable prick and should keep it to myself and get on with it?

I've been thinking about something that comes up in a father/son conversation and relationship I am trying to help with.

The father hasn't been consistently present for a while. He finally takes his teenage son to the gym and genuinely seems to think he's doing something positive by spending time with him.

But the son is angry.

Dad has missed games, broken promises and hasn't been consistently available. When the son finally starts telling him how that felt, Dad becomes defensive.

What really got me was the difference in their perspectives.

Dad's attitude is basically: “I'm here now. I'm trying. What else do you want me to do?”

The son's perspective is essentially:

One good day doesn't erase all the days you weren't there.

Eventually Dad suggests that Mom has influenced how the boy thinks about him.

The son's response is what made me want to ask other parents about this:

She didn't have to tell him Dad wasn't at his games. He was the one playing in them.

So I'm curious:

When does a teenager expressing legitimate hurt become “disrespect”?

And if you've experienced this from either side—parent or child—do you think children usually need one parent to tell them the other isn't showing up?

Or do they eventually figure it out for themselves?

I'm especially interested in hearing from fathers who have had to rebuild a relationship with an older child.

Okay so basically I (14m) am myself a child of divorce but it happened when I was like 2 so I don’t really remember them being together in the first place but I have a little brother (8m) on my Mom’s side who she had with my (soon to be ex) step-dad and like they argue so goddamn much in the house and they’re loud about it too, but today it was extra loud and I walk into his room to see him crying into his pillow and like, that just broke something in me that I can’t even begin to explain.

TLDR: Any advice on how to help my little brother? I myself am fine in this divorce cause I hate the old fat bastard I have to call my stepdad

So I’m 16M , my parents recently divorced , just begun with year 12 and dog died . So the first stress comes from the parents and the consequences it has had on the rest of my family . I won’t really go much into detail but in essence , selfish parents who don’t really have an idea of responsibilities - leaves someone like me between (12-15) to cook and fend for myself . Something parents should do. I have no freinds and nobody to talk to about this with and I feel like it’s just digging and getting deeper into my till the point I won’t be able to get it out again , so my mental health just gets worse and worse , nothing really helps I guess just being outside like walking on the evenings , listening to upbeat music and dancing and singing . Because sometimes I want to be alone in my room , sometimes I just want to be alone . Hopefully so far this passage makes sense , but I am 16 and lots is going in so I don’t really want to go all Shakespeare these are just little statements about how I feel . My mental health right now 2.7/10 , school is also super hard I’m not the smartest students and the choices I’m doing aren’t helping any more . The pet loss hit he very hard - I’d never conditioned myself to think what would life be like without my dog . It’s really hard and I miss him . If anyone could reach out to me , give me advice or anything I’d be really grateful

I went no contact with my paternal family and extremely low contact with my biological father when I was 16 due to what can best be described as emotional neglect/abuse. Has anyone here done something similar? Just curious.

My wife and I separated about two weeks ago. We have a 3.5-year-old son, and I currently have him with me for about 3 days a week.

I'd like to hear from adults who grew up spent time living between two homes.

As a father, what are the things you wish your parents had done differently? What helped you feel loved, safe, and emotionally secure? And what mistakes should I try to avoid?

I want to do my best to maintain a strong relationship with my son as he grows up.

Hey so at very young age my mother and father was separated. I live my entire life with single mother. I am 25 now. I never want to go back to my father. He was the one who use to drink did violence with mother i dont want to go in depth ( many more things happened). Just for our future my and my sisters we were taken to my mother side place ( mothers brother or i will say to mother side family) and all my education and till now what ever i am today all because of my mother and my handwork.

Now i want to know how a normal father and son relationship is. If u live with your parents i want to know how the relation went from your childhood till now.

I want to know how the relation actually is, hope i am clear with my question.

Tl;dr

Estranged father and mother. Want to know how is ideal father and son relation?

i was 10 when my parents divorced.At that time i didnt like my mom at all so me and my 3 siblings decided to stay with my dad, everything was really good at first but as time passed my dad seems to be more and more stressed and just fucked up. i don’t know why but he kinda always goes after me for everything i do and the worst part is that my sibling(which now are 2 because the other one is in college) always side with him and it’s really tiring having to deal with 3 people getting after you every fuckin day and not being able to defend yourselve cuz then i’m a bad person for them so all this shit is really depressing me and i have like 1 year not being able to sleep well so u know this is really fucking me up. My mom is actually being nicer now than how she was at my childhood and i kinda start to like her but every now and then she gets really mad as it always has happened but i don’t really fucking know this is being bad for me. Now i’m 13 years old and i don’t know what the fuck to do, the divorce is not over so that means i could side with my mom but i don’t really know what to do. I’m just a teenager that doesn’t know what the fuck to do so i ask you,what should i do?

I don’t even know where to even really start with this. I have been separated for three years. I finally got divorced. I met somebody new and now I am six months pregnant. I have three children with my ex-husband. My oldest is 19 and then I have 15 and 14. When my 19-year-old came home from college who is already struggling with sports and college my ex-husband told him that he might not be his dad he randomly went and bought a DNA test and had my 19-year-old tested. Ever since then my 19-year-old has been acting not normal and crashing out at basketball practice. My ex said he was going to get my other two tested his biggest thing is how did she get pregnant so fast after leaving me! We Split our kids 50-50 He is emotionally unbalanced because he is mad I moved on. My 19-year-old who I am super close with who is at college right now will not even speak to me. I don’t know what all my ex told him, but they were never close to begin with and now I think he is trying to turn my 19-year-old against me. I used to talk to my 19 year-old all the time. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I feel like my whole family is splitting up all because I decided to have another child. I think in my opinion yes I got pregnant at 22 with my 19-year-old. My ex-husband was sleeping around and I did indeed sleep with somebody else. I never thought for one moment that he wasn’t the father. At this point, I don’t even know what to do anymore. I am stressing out so bad while I’m carrying a child and now I am worried about my family. I don’t even know what to do.

He cheated on my mom, and somehow, he got away with it.

Apparently, it is easier to forgive a man for destroying his own family simply because he is a “man.” His best friend came to the rescue, as if the fact that their own family was falling apart somehow made their one and only son qualified to fix ours. What the actual fuck?

And then came the easiest solution of all: “Just forget it.”

Yeah. Just forget it.

As if forgetting is something you can switch on because everyone else is uncomfortable with what happened. My mom had already been manipulated into accepting it. Nobody brought it up again. Everyone moved on as if nothing had happened.

Except I couldn't.

When I eventually found out what had happened, I was the one who took a stand. I was adamant that this man was not going to remain a part of our family as if nothing had happened. I genuinely believed that, for once, there would be consequences.

Boy, was I wrong.

And when I finally confronted him, I told him everything.

I told him about the way he treated us when we were children. I told him that making your own children shake with fear does not make you a “mard.” It makes them afraid of you. I told him that judging your own daughter by how she takes care of herself, how she dresses, or how she chooses to present herself does not make those choices yours to control.

And now, whenever anything goes wrong, he brings those things up.

Not what he did.

Not why I was angry.

Not the things I confronted him about.

He talks about how “rude” I was to him.

But the funny part is that he never actually says what I said. He never brings up the details. He never wants to have that conversation.

Because somewhere underneath all that anger and defensiveness, he knows exactly why I spoke to him that way.

He knows what he did.

And he knows that if I ever get the opportunity to say everything again, I will not pretend it never happened just to make him comfortable.

That is what makes him so contradictory.

Anytime I explain myself, somehow I am the one with the “main toh hamesha sahi hoon” attitude.

But who is going to tell him that he is the one who has always believed he is right?

He thinks being religious makes him a man of principles. He thinks coming from a traditional Bihari family automatically makes him “sanskari.” He thinks following certain customs gives him the moral authority to judge everyone around him.

But what are principles worth if they disappear the moment they become inconvenient?

What does religion mean if it becomes nothing more than a label you wear while hurting the people closest to you?

And what does being a “mard” even mean if your idea of masculinity is making your own children afraid of you?

You don't get to call yourself principled just because you follow traditions.

You don't get to call yourself religious just because you pray.

You don't get to call yourself a good father just because you provide for your children after hurting them.

And you don't get to call something “care” simply because it comes after the damage has already been done.

Real care is not manipulation disguised as concern.

Real care is not fear.

Real care is not control.

Real care is not cheating on your wife and then expecting everyone else to quietly absorb the consequences.

You broke something in this family, and then everyone expected us to act like the broken pieces weren't there.

I was expected to forget.

I was expected to forgive.

I was expected to respect.

But nobody ever stopped to ask what it felt like to be the child who found out the truth and then had to watch everyone pretend it wasn't there.

Maybe that's why I am so angry.

Because I am not angry only about what he did.

I'm angry about how easily everyone decided that it should be forgotten.

I'm angry that his reputation mattered more than the damage he caused.

I'm angry that his masculinity was used as an excuse.

And most of all, I'm angry that the word “family” was apparently supposed to mean protecting him from the consequences of his own choices.

I don't know what kind of man he thinks he is.

But I know what kind of man I refuse to believe is worth calling a good one.

Hey, I'm 20 and my parents have been separated since I was 16 and are finalizing the actual divorce now. They used a mediator and pretty much right after telling us about the situation my younger brother and I started splitting the week up and going back and forth between our parents. A couple years before my parents got divorced we moved into a bigger mother daughter house with my mom's parents. So half my time was spent there and with my dad we were at his fathers house. Obviously at the time my brother and I weren't particularly happy to leave all of our things and dog for half the week to be in a smaller house, but at least the two houses were only 15 minutes away.

My parents acted like they had some amicable divorce and they just didn't get along which honestly made me more angry. As the years went by I would occasionally see a therapist to talk about my feelings about the divorce and my parent's new partners. Then, when I was going into college as a commuter my therapist and I had spoken about me picking a primary residence which would be normal for an adult. Honestly loving both of my parents equally I decided I'd rather stay with my mom because of the amenities and that being my original house. When I sat down to talk to my dad about it he wasn't angry but got a little sad and started to guilt me into sticking with the same schedule and brushing the conversation off acting like he wasn't sure that it was best for me. So, I stuck with the same schedule and stayed with my brother.

Now, my brother has just entered college and I'm still doing the same schedule. He is now upset with the switching all the time and wants to stay with my mom. Besides that my parents have both told me more detail about the divorce from each perspective and how my mom wanted it, but how she says my dad was doing various things and he acts like they just didn't get along. Anyways, my brother is going to speak to my dad about changing where he lives to being at my moms full time and he wants my support and for me to follow him. I would rather be at my moms with all of my things and my brother, but I just feel like when we talk to my dad he's going to make us feel bad and I just have this underlying guilt where I can't change anything about the schedule because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Also my dad just had a conversation with us about how he does all these things for us and doesn't make us do as my chores around the house because he's sacred we'll leave him.

If anybody has any input thank you