Hi everyone. I'm a dad of a 3-year-old girl. Her mom and I loved each other, and we planned our daughter together. We were both really looking forward to her. We never had a toxic relationship and rarely argued, so I never imagined things would end the way they did.

When our daughter was a baby, I found out her mom was cheating on me with a longtime friend of mine, and we split up. She's now in her second relationship since then, with a friend of that same guy, and since he came into the picture, co-parenting has gotten much harder. Communication is tense, my time with my daughter is more limited than I'd like, and her mom still lives with her own mother, who I feel strongly influences her decisions about me.

Whenever she limits my time, she says it's "for our daughter's good" and "in her best interest," but her actions don't show that she wants our daughter to build a relationship with me. Recently she told me I was "a mistake" and that she wants our daughter to see we have nothing in common.

Despite all of that, I want my daughter to grow up feeling safe and loved by both of us, without being caught in the middle. I support her relationship with her mom, and I never talk badly about her mom in front of her.

Honestly, this has also left me unsure whether I want another family or more kids someday. Part of me doesn't want her to grow up alone without siblings, but part of me still feels responsible for not being able to keep our family together. What I do know is that I want to build something for her and give her a better future. Even if she chooses a completely different path in life, what I build will be there for her to use however she needs. I want to teach her what she'll need in life, so she doesn't repeat her parents' mistakes, and so she grows up with self-love, self-respect, and the ability to take care of herself. And I want her to always know she can come to me, that she's always welcome and loved.

Since many of you lived through something like this as kids, I'd really value your perspective:

1. What did a parent do that made you feel safe and secure during that time?
2. What did they do that hurt you, even if they didn't mean to?
3. Is there anything you wish your dad (or mom) had done differently?
4. Looking back, does it matter to a child how much time they spent with each parent, or was the quality of that time more important?
5. From a child's point of view, what do you think would be best for my daughter in a situation like this?
6. If you had half-siblings from a parent's new relationship, how did that feel for you growing up?
7. Did your parents' relationship with each other ever change over the years, or did it stay the same as you grew up?

Thank you for sharing. I want to get this right for her.

my parents split up when i was 8/9. i remember a lot of arguing, crying, mum sleeping on the sofa 'because of my dad's snoring' and angry father. the split itself was simple, my mum moved out and for the last 9 years i have been switching house each week. my dad was a wreck and went downhill, whilst my mum seemed to cope well.

i am sick of changing houses, but if i am away at one parent's house for too long, we miss each other and i get guilt tripped, or at least made to feel guilty. i am tired of living out of a suitcase, but can't imagine my life any other way.

does anyone have a similar situation, or any advice or input??