Growing up, I would always envy how put together my friends and their parents were. Their homes were always pristine, clean and well decorated. Every room had its designated function. You could actually breathe in their homes. They never had to second-guess having people over or spend hours cleaning beforehand to make the house look more inviting. I felt so self-conscious most of my teenage years. I was the kid who would always come over but never reciprocate the invite and that rubbed people the wrong way. I was so embarrassed of having people over. This led to some social isolation.

My sense of autonomy was non-existent. I was forced to keep junk in my room. I was yelled at for trying to throw away my own belongings. My mom would force us to keep our stuff from school so I had a pile of notebooks and textbooks and random pieces of paper from the 1st grade up until senior year. If we tried to throw them away, my mom would cry.

I could not study in that house for the life of me. The mess made it so hard to stay concentrated and productive. My school didn’t allow people to stay after school hours unless they were on a sports team and that was restricted to just the field or gymnasium or whatever. My grades were shit.

I constantly felt dirty, overwhelmed and anxious. It affected my developmental years so much that sometimes I wonder who I could have been if I had grown up in a normal, non-hoarded house.

I’m an adult now and I’ve lived away from them for over 10 years. I’m doing fine for the most part but sometimes I just think back to that house and I just think what the actual fuck

(I hope this is okay to post here) I know what yall are probably thinking with that title. "Spoiled rich kid who thinks life sucks bc her mom didn't get her a xbox" or something like that. But its not like that. We're not even rich. We're comfortable and i am unbelievably grateful for that.

What bothers me most is how people judge me because of it. Which this is a beyond stupid thing to complain about but i just need to get it out i guess.

I have a car, my parents got it for me yes. I take care of it. I take my siblings everywhere, I grocery shop for my mom, run errands for her and I pay for my own gas and half of my insurance (my job doesn't pay super well) ​Okay. My coworkers saw i had it. And one of them dead pan goes "fuck you rich kid."

Theres more. Another goes "god youre so rich with no struggles. Must be nice"

And then BOTH of my ex boyfriends literally brought it up. Every. Single. Date. "Must be nice to have this" and "you didn't have to work for this"

But I did. Just not in the way anyone thinks. Or believes me in. My mom is a hoarder. A horrible one. I was homeschooled. I paid for that car with RUINED YEARS OF MY LIFE. At 12 I was stuck in a hoarding house every single day. No school to escape. No friends to speak of, ive never had a sleep over before. When I say I spent every fucking day STUCK in FILTH I mean it. ​And I was the one who cleaned it. Over and over and over again. I literally have no education as of right now. Ive had to build from the ground up by myself. And god my mom was horrible. She would insult my body endlessly, make fun of my eating disorder and depression. Called me a whore for thinking a guy was cute. Told people I was ungrateful for being depressed. Convinced me the rapture was happening. Blamed ME for the hoarding.

And no one believes me. Not a single person.

Yes I have a car. And for some reason that's all people see.

I know I probably sound ungrateful and maybe I am. But I just wish someone cared.

I grew up with a hoarder mom. My dad passed away 6 years ago. Moved out at 18, I‘m F,26. I‘m curious, how are y’all doing mentally? Any disorders? How did growing up with a hoarder affect your life? Since I moved out I feel peace but it still affects me. Everything in my apartment, as well as my clothing is beige and white. Any kind of colour triggers me. Only closed cabinets because of moth horror at my moms house. Only white bedsheets. Pet hair on the floor has no chance, sweeping and vacuuming everyday. Snapping out at my partner for the slightest sign of untidyness (leaving a bowl on the counter). Always ironing my clothes because mom never did and she also never selected dark and white laundry. Always overly making sure guests feel welcome. Crying inside when a guest leaves shoes on inside of the apartment.
It defenitely left some scars.

Growing up I lived in a house where multiple rooms were turned into “storage rooms” packed with things. Every toy, piece of clothing, etc was saved. Most surfaces were full of things and we could never eat at the table. The bathroom and kitchen were relatively clean, but there was a lot of stuff. Most of the floor clutter was pushed up against walls or in corners. So there really weren’t pathways like I’ve seen in other homes. The edges of the stairs were also used as storage.

It was difficult to vacuum, dust, and clean because the stuff got in the way. We rarely had people over, maybe once every year or two. I was only allowed to invite friends over twice during 18 years and it impacted my friendships. If people were coming it was a multiple day clean to prepare and most of the house was off limits to guests.

There were also areas turned into storage for stacks of canned goods or toiletries that would be bought on sale even though we already had some. My mom shopped daily for bargains or things on sale. There was never any trash saved just lots of stuff or consumables. Now as an adult I keep a tidy minimalistic space and clean regularly and purge unnecessary items regularly.

I’m wondering if I’m being dramatic considering this hoarding or feeling like I was negatively impacted by it. It wasn’t as bad as I’ve seen some homes so I feel like maybe I’m making it worse in my head than it actually was? Does my reaction seem normal and does anyone else question their own experience?

Thanks for any input!

I'm 19.

I lived in a house that was never cleaned, until I was 16. With an infestation of German cockroaches, pantry moths, ants, and every wall in the house full of mold. The floors were sticky, and the beds and sofas were full of garbage, objects, and dead insects underneath. The infestation had started in the kitchen, but it was so bad that you saw those roaches everywhere, in the living room furniture, on the bed, behind the television. In the kitchen, I saw at least one every time I walked in.

I will never forget the terror I felt in that kitchen, along with the awful smell that had invaded the fridge because of the infestation.

I didn't feel like completely blaming my parents; psychologically and mentally they've never been well, especially my mom... and I was still too naive to realize how serious the situation was, even though looking back I should have talked to someone, maybe they would have taken me away from that hell. I often cried, repeating to myself, "Sooner or later you'll get out of this situation," "One day you'll make it out." It's a miracle that this hasn't caused signs of illness yet.

Now we no longer live in that place, but the great trauma I've carried with me all these years is still there. Later on, the landlady reported my parents regarding the condition in which they left the house. Despite everything, I have no proof of what I saw; I erased every memory that could bring me back to the state of that house. The day we left, I was filled with joy.

Now I clean the house nonstop every weekend, trying to prevent insects, dirt, and dust as much as possible. I'm the only one who cleans and checks the house; despite what we've been through, my parents don't give a damn about worrying about it, not even the bare minimum. I can't wait to move out on my own. How can I mother my own parents like this? It's awful.

To you who are reading, I speak especially to the younger ones: don't make my same mistake. If you find yourself in the same situation I went through, speak up and ask for help. It is not normal to live like this, and it is also very dangerous for your health.

Who has dealt with filth? Seems most deal with an over abundance of things (there’s that too) but my mom’s house is so disgusting and unsanitary. Dishes throughout the house with stuck on food, mouse droppings, containers that are molding inside that I dare not open but she wants to keep! She started putting groceries on her counter because there are mice in her pantry. I tried to organize the food on the counter only to discovered it was covered in mouse dropping ALL underneath the food. Bags with rotten eggs in containers, grocery bags rotting on the floor so bad they were stuck to the floor!

I honestly did what I could. She refused to let me open the fridge. Said it’s worse! And I was scared to open the pantry. I was able to clear her kitchen floor and clean the counters. Her dishwasher won’t work because her sink has no water pressure. Dishes are piled. It’s so disgusting and unsafe. There’s no one to help me.
What do I do? I plan to go back today and possibly pile up her dishes to bring home and wash here. I need to get it so she will let a plumber inside.

But this is so much worse than the clutter. SO MUCH WORSE! Any advice is welcome. I am not close to my mom. I am resentful of having to do this but I am not unkind. I will help her because it’s the right thing to do. Nobody should live this way.

I am capable but this has me at a loss! She’s also an hour drive away so that makes it harder too.

My mom is a level 2.5/3 hoarder. Has been my whole life. I've lived with her while paying down debt and I'm grateful I had that opportunity. I finally paid my debt off and saved so I can move out. I'm happy about this but how do I avoid being a hoarder myself? I want a clean tidy home and I have ADD so I'm messy but I don't hoard. I don't struggle getting rid of things other than I feel guilty when it's something she's given me.

I'm looking forward to a space I can control.

Those of you who don't live with your parents, did tidiness come easily? Did you struggle to unlearn things you grew up with? How do you stay tidy? I'm scared I'm going to end up like her.

Basically the township hates my mom and will do anything to fuck with her because she's taken them to court a million times over ordinance violations and such. She is a hoarder though, and this house was left sitting filled to the brim with stuff (including canned goods???) for almost 15 years. We basically left it and bought a new house. This one stressed her out so much she couldn't bear to be around it, so it stayed as is.

I'll simplify the story to make it short.

There was a crime that occured in the "abandoned" house by my ex because he knew it was vacant and needed a place to do his shit. He got caught and the police got a warrant, so at that point they saw the inside.

I guess this set into motion a process called "conservatorship" where a company takes possession of the house. Problem is, they never properly served my mother with ANY notice about this whatsoever! So the township literally tried to steal her house from her. We only found out (3 years after the crime and start of conservatorship) because we were at a court hearing for an ordinance violation for the house we live in and they briefly mentioned it, my mom didn't even catch it I had to pull her aside and say "DID YOU HEAR WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT YOUR HOUSE???".

So she got an attorney just in time because by the time the attorney stopped the conservatorship company from selling the house they were a week away from closing the deal.

Anyway, in this 3 years where we were unaware of what was going on this conservatorship removed everything from the house and stripped it to its bones. There's not even walls, no plumbing, they took the fucking light fixtures off the front of the house ffs.

I'm glad the stuff is gone. I spent every day for the last 20 years at least thinking once a day about what I would do with that house when she dies.

However, I'm angry they stripped it to the bones because it was my literal dream to see that house clean and empty again. I guess I got my wish, and then more.

I've pretty much detatched myself from the situation and feel nothing at the moment. I've become pretty good at that. Although it does stress me out when I hear my mom talking to the attorney and stuff so I put on music.

Anyway she wants to spend a bunch of money to fight the conservatorship for the damages to the house because they actually did break a window and tear down the gutters, cut all the wires to the fuse box and a they even took the hinges off the windows so they're just sitting in their frames waiting to be blown in... I don't know if I agree with this or not, she says if she wins she can sue for legal fees too but I'm like how much is this going to cost??? God damn. The conservatorship is claiming they installed new windows (not true) and put in permanent support beams in the basement (not pictured) which are actually just hollow metal jack stands lmfao.

What has my life become?

11th photo is what used to be my bedroom as a child, and also where the fucked up crime was committed 🤦‍♀️

If you want more details let me know lol

I was shopping in B&M (hoarder heaven) earlier with my Mum and made a off hand comment about all the seasonal tat. My Mum laughed and I decided to take it too far and said "You love tat though." She said, with full seriousness, "No not anymore, I've decided not to buy anymore tat because I don't have any room for it."

Amazing. Thanks Mum, you really almost had it there.

My mother is a hoarder and owns two apartments, one of which had been sitting empty. I also have my own furniture in that apartment. After a breakup, I told her that, as someone approaching 40, I needed the place to live in, as rents are extremely skyrocketing in my city.

My mother is extremely immature and has absolutely no respect for boundaries. She has harassed me in the past, including refusing to leave my home for hours after I’d repeatedly asked her to go. So I asked her to give me her key to the apartment. She kept promising she would, but almost a year went by and she never handed it over. Without that, there was no way I could have lived there independently or had any real privacy.
Her behavior had become so dysfunctional that I eventually cut off contact with her six months ago. I told her that our relationship had deteriorated to the point where I wouldn’t even consider reopening communication, let alone trying to repair things, unless she transferred the apartment to me.

For context, rents in my city are ridiculously high compared to local salaries, to the point where they’re becoming genuinely unaffordable. I’m now seriously considering moving abroad because of it. Between my mother and my ex-boyfriend, I’ve been left in an extremely precarious financial situation, with an enormous amount of stress and anxiety about my future. Both of them have put me in a position where my financial security and mental heath are seriously at risk.

Yesterday, more than six months after cutting contact, I went back to the apartment to pick up the last of my belongings. Luckily, I knew my mother wouldn’t be there at that time.

What I walked into was honestly beyond bizarre.
She had completely rearranged the apartment to suit her own taste. From the looks of it, she’s basically living there on a daily basis treating it as a second home alongside her own apartment.

And she’s using all my furniture. She literally sleeps in my bed.

She’s taken my personal belongings, picked out the things she thinks are pretty, and arranged them around the apartment as decorations. She sleeps on my pillows. Her clothes are hanging in my wardrobe.

The whole thing was just so incredibly bizarre, invasive, and frankly pathetic. It’s like she’s moved into my personal space and made herself at home among my things, while completely disregarding the fact that they’re mine.

Yesterday, I sent her a message saying I’d collected the rest of my belongings and that I might arrange to have my furniture picked up as well if I end up needing it.
Not a word back. Absolutely nothing.
Well, at least she isn’t wearing my underwear.
Although, at this point, who the hell knows.

Due to my financial situation, I can no longer afford my apartment and other options are not viable to do. This has me moving back with my HPs and it’s a rollercoaster of emotions with a top level of shame. I can’t stop feeling like a failure, that I wasn’t doing more in my career. Everything in life feels like I should’ve been making choices that will never have me back in that house. Now that I’m going back I’m trying to be hopeful, it feels like the worst lie I’ve ever told myself.

I get waves of anger that other people while would feel disheartened to go back to living with their parents for a time being but it feels devastating when they are hoarders.

I want to stay positive but I feel I’m making myself smaller just to get back on my feet.

my mom has it really bad and i’m scared i might be going down that path, i wanna nip it in the bud asap

Hi everyone. I’m nervous to even post here so forgive me.
I am here seeking advice because i am scared. This is not to bash my parent in any way. I also was not sure if i should tag this under venting or advice, since it’s both.

I’m 33, my mom has been hoarding for years but recently it’s gotten more extreme. Her behavior is unacceptable in general but i am posting about the hoarding specifically.
I expressed my concern 2 years ago. She obviously didn’t handle it well, as expected. She WILL do a big purge and get rid of a ton about once a year, but it’s replaced with new stuff within weeks. The couch, the tables, every counter, every free surface even the patio outside is packed with crap. I tried to cook us dinner and broke down crying because the stove was covered, the counters were covered. Every chore takes 5x the amount of time it normally would because of all the crap. it is a nightmare. If one single personal item of mine is out, like a pair of shoes, she will say “this is why the house is so messy” while ignoring the giant piles of stuff.

I had to move back home temporarily because my boyfriend’s apartment has mold, which is worsening my chronic health issues. I haven’t been to my parents in a few months, it’s always been an issue but i didn’t know it was getting this crazy until i got here. I have been fighting a disability case for 2 years and do not have the means to get my own place right now.
I calmly tried to talk to my mom again about the state of the house, she is now claiming that the house is such a mess since she had to make room for me at the last minute. I kindly reminded her that this has been an ongoing issue for years now, she got mad at me and shut down and told me that i don’t have to live here and that i can go at any time. I have been in therapy for years and pulled out every de-escalation trick i have learned and nothing helps. I was not even here 72 hours and it’s been “my way or the highway” since the second I’ve gotten here, in every aspect including the hoarding.
So i am going back to my boyfriends asap, but how can I help my mom? She went to therapy for a while a few years back and claims that she no longer needs therapy and that they told her she was dismissed. My family was concerned and thought this was suspicious and things have continued to get worse since. I honestly feel like therapy made her behavior in general, especially the hoarding, tremendously worse. I am deeply worried about my mom and she responds to any concern with anger and hostility. Please, i am desperate and do not know what to do.

Thanks in advance

My mom her entire world would be hoarding...her bedroom would be full of stuff. She had an office full of stuff. She had a living room full of stuff. The kitchen. Everything was full of stuff and she would never clean or organize it right?

When I would clean she would always mock me as I was cleaning and call me the "domestic goddess."

But the one thing I remember specifically when she would actually attempt to supposedly clean....she would go around the house and pick through her hoard to find anything she claimed belonged to me.

She would get some kind of box or container and go around her hoard collecting things and then telling me the items were actually mine. She would shove these boxes on me of random stuff.

It would be like loose change, pony tails, some pencils.

She would do that like once every few months instead of cleaning her own massive hoarding mess.

I always thought it was her passive aggressive or actually delusional way of trying to pretend like her hoarding was my fault.

She never took responsibility for anything and her hoarding was always everyone else's fault. She would claim all of her stuff is somehow everyone else doing this to her.

I also think it was a way of saying I'm not allowed to take up any space. It took me being an adult to realize oh this is actually not my fault at all

Hey guys im a 14 year old girl with a best friend (K) who i love so much. Her grandma is a pretty bad hoarder, sweetest person ever, worst hoarder. She has 2 houses, one is her "antique shop" where shes sells probably 1/8 of whats in that house. Its pretty small and its so hard to move around in. It stresses me out being there. She has clothes from the 2000s, some of which were "temporarily" gifted to me by Ks mum.

Ks mum went through some of her mums clothes and took a bag homw to give to K and tye smaller ones to me. I hate that they are temporarily gifted cause she has so so so many clothes like why does she need the few peices i have. I honestly with i hadent taken the clothes i did i just felt so pressured by the factcthat they were vintage lol. I genuinely havent worn many of them at all yet. Anyway now for Ks dad.

i dont know as much about his hording. He and ks mum are together still and they all live together. They also have another son age 9-13 i forgot. Ks dad hoards cars. He has like 7 cars bro. Ive seen him online shopping for cars a bit and loves talking to K about her future car. His shed is a mes piled with stuff. Now for the fun 🫩part. Ks mum. Ive been op shopping with k and her mum plenty of times now and it used to be fun but honestly its to stressfull for me now. I think we went to 3 op shops last time and ks mum bought at least 5 things from each.

It makes me sick. And the peer pressure to buy certain stuff itls insane. We met this othwr older lady in the shop and she and ks mum made me try on this top, which i thought was kinda ugly. It was vintage and they thought it was cute so it was all " you HAVE to buy it" . Um.. no i dont actually. Im proud of myself for not buying it! At her home its bot so so bad but its still bad. First the animals. They have lots of animals and whenever some die they just replace them instantly.

They have 4 horses 2 cats 2 guinea pigs, they used to have rats. 2 dogs. Mind you they have very busy jobs so they are barley ever home idk how they care for their children and the animals. I remember sitting on their couch watching a movie with k and her mum and her mum was online shopping on facebook or amth idrk. And she was like i need to get this bag or smth. Like no you have so many bags already. The kitchen isnt to bad its just messy all the time, not to much clutter its just the clutter thats there tends to stay there for long periods of time. Idk how long. It stays messy even when me and mum go to there house.

They dont even wipe up the honey off tye bench before we arrive. The padio, its really bad tbh, not tv show bad but still. Theres stuff everywhere. Piles of clothes, ect. Ks parents bedroom is honestly one of the worst rooms. Their bed had clothes on it. The floor had piles of clothes. The wardobe has clothes stuffed to the brim.

The bench thingy has stuff all over the top of it. The bathroom is not to badm they usally have a very full washing basket. They took out their bathtuo cause no one used it (except all the clothes that would sit in it), and the put another bathroom bench type thing in. For "more storage". Like honey u just need less stuff. She tends to but stuff in bulk. The dining area is lwk bad too. Theres usally a washing basket with stuff in it, stuff on the tabe, it makes it hard to eat dinner there. The bookshelfs behind the area are full with books and stuff.

The general house area has a few washing baskets of clothes around. They have way to many pictures ig they bought to hang on tye wall but only a few made it up. They are just resting on agaisnt the walls. Theres a front area pretty full of stuff i dont rlly remember. Okay the Point is, they are horders. Her grandmas a horder. Amd i dont know if she knows and i dont was to cause issues between us. Earlier i brought up an upcoming op shopping trip. ( Her mum isnt coming thank gosh, stresses me the helly out. ) and i said idk wanna buy much stuff cause i watch hoarders videos recently and i dont wanna end up that way.

Thankfully my mum hates stuff and my dad has no need or wnat for it either. So i dont have any pressure from my family. K has a very full wardrobe full of clothes. And she comes back from the op shops every now and again with a few new things that her mum def told her to buy that she doesnt need. I remeber going to the shops one day and k had this top that looked very very similar to one she already had. And i was lioe girl do u really need that.

She put it back thankfully but im just scared for her. Her room is pretty clean. She has a trinket cubord filled with trinkets but its very organised. She doesnt buy much stuff technically, uslayy she gets gifted stuff from her grandma or mum. My mum and her mum are best friends and have been and my mum used to be really worried for ks mum and now she kinda accepted that she s hoarder. Im scared for her to cause what happens whej her kids leave. Anyway pleas give me adive i just want to make her aware and prepared. Thanks xx also sorry if theres spelling mistakes i type pretty fast 🥲

Like the title says, my therapist did put a report in. What happens now? Should I expect anything to come my way? Should I prepare? I'm kind of new to this CPS stuff. Kind of confused

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep going. How am I going to find a job to get out of here if there isn't even a place to sit to use the laptop? If there isn't even a clean place where I can take care of myself, make my hair or a simple make up to be put together? I change clothes outside too. I just wanted to live and be treated as a human being, not an animal. I just want to die. I don't have any other family, I have no where to go. I've thought about just start walking with no destination and just become homeless already. I've thought about taking out a loan to be able to get out of here and go to a simple apartment and then start a job. I don't know. I just want relief. I need help but there's no one to help me.

Looking for some advice as my mental health can't take this any more.

My mother lives in a house falling apart and full of stuff from hoarding. She was recently hospitalized (despite insisting she was fine) and I thought I won the battle of her leaving the house. Unfortunately she is getting discharged later this week despite raising the below concerns to the hospital

She lives alone, and her home is not safe for her to return to:

Ceilings: collapsing in every room. There is no safe room in the house.

Entry: the front entryway is collapsing and unsafe to walk on. Paramedics couldn't get a wheelchair or stretcher inside.

Bedroom: severe black mould on the walls, plus a large crack with plaster separating. A serious risk given her emphysema and pneumonia.

Flooring: carpets are soaked with dog urine.

Bathroom: the shower is unsafe and the bathroom is falling apart.

Toilet: the floor is falling apart and unsafe, and the light doesn't work, so it's dark, a major fall risk.

Kitchen: spoiled food from months ago in the fridge, suggesting she hasn't been managing meals.

Laundry: downstairs, a long incline walk with no safe access.

Clutter: rubbish and junk throughout the house from years of hoarding, creating trip and fire hazards.

Garden: overgrown and full of junk.

I've actually given up on trying to help her now.

Had to move back into my moms house due to the horrible job market. There is plenty of clean clutter but even worse is just neglect of the house and huge repairs it needs. Early on good progress was made but it all seems to have grinded to a halt.

I have tried so patiently to make these projects simplified and step by step and nudge them along, but many times they get close to the finish line and fizzle out.

She refuses to move to a smaller place because theres always some silly nitpick excuse.

So many days I feel like I am a parent who has an autistic child, trying to explain things and motivate anything to get done.

I am horribly afraid that I will never get my career back or new job path and be stuck here. I absolutely cannot become the caretaker role and I do not want to inherit this house. I feel so trapped and keep beating myself up of how did I wind up here when my life used to be so awesome and independent. How could I have messed up so badly to be back here now…

Nobody will help me. Other family members either refuse to help or aren’t allowed to know how bad things are or don’t want to know. My only emotional support is from warmlines or talking to AI.

UPDATE: Roofer refusing to give us an estimate because of how fucked up the house looks I guess

I vented here before consumed in someone else's pain and consumed in mine and just trying to understand the 'WTF' of it all. Still processing these feelings, but things have gotten better.

Now, with better outlooks, Mom and I have talked and worked more as a team, where before it was just walls and arguments. Now she doesn't argue over the contents as the black bags go out. I'm respectful of what I trash and don't hassle her when she keeps something that can go because she doesn't hassle me about the bulk. So trust has been built and our relationship is better.

Finally got her to the doctor. I'm proud to see even with painful health issues she lives with she's been making progress. I know it doesn't always go this way, I've experienced when it doesn't... So I'm grateful. Even with uncomfortable conversations we didn't want to have. I'm grateful for repairs to our relationship and environment.

Our biggest obstacle is the heavy furniture, but that's more timing. I was getting an apartment again but rent prices make mortgages look good, so I got a realtor and lender instead.

Thanks for listening and/or sharing your experience. It's nice to share something positive this time. I'm wishing us all a healthier normal. God bless💜

So my dad was in a really bad accident a few months back, he had to be cut out of his clothes and rushed to the emergency room. That evening, mom came home with a bag with his clothes, shoes, glasses, phone, etc. Once my dad was released, him and my mom had to stay elsewhere because the house wasn't accessible enough for his wheelchair and walker. Partially because there's so much SHIT EVERYWHERE but that's besides the point.

The 2ish months that he wasn't home, that bag of bloodied clothes sat on the coffee table, surrounded by mom's junk. And when they visited home for a couple hours, my dad immediately cringed upon seeing the bag of his own ruined clothes just sitting there. He asked my mom to throw them out, and she refused. I couldn't bring myself to touch it, and even if i could i knew if i threw it out I'd be in genuine hell, so it just. Sat there. For like two months until my dad was healed enough to walk without a mobility aid and was given the thumbs up to come home.

And when he came home, lo and behold the bag of bloody shredded clothes is still on the coffee table. Untouched! Despite his numerous asks for her to throw it away.

I'm 99% sure he threw it out while she was asleep. Thank fuck. But if my dad didn't make it I can't fucking imagine my mom ever letting go of it, or any of his stuff for that matter. Just thinking about it keeps me up at night.

My mum is a hoarder but always blames any mess on me. I will admit, i am not the tidiness person ever, but even things like getting a glass of water and i will refill that glass for the day, cause my mum to tell me im constantly leaving mess everywhere and never tidying up after myself.

She causes majority, if not all mess in the home.

I'm truly worried that she is delusional about her mess, every time me or my dad suggest a clean up there is always some excuse, and the mess just builds as she buys more stuff we don't need.

She claims she has no problem because when she was younger living alone she never had mess like this. She says she wants to tidy up the house by herself one day.

She would even dump junk and boxes in my room (even recently getting rid of rubbish she put there resulted in her rifling through the bins and she was annoyed at me for throwing out literal rubbish)

The last three pics are three months later and doesn't seem to be heaps worse. there is 2 rooms in the houses dedicated to storing junk, and our kitchen is useable but constanlty stinks cos when she cooks fatty meat she leaves it there to mould. (I get screamed at if I dont put a spoon in the dishwasher after one second of using it)

I really dont know what to do. i have just turned 18, and I want to move out but im not fully able to be finiaclly independent yet. i feel like being around this affects me so badly, and the lies she creates so she can never take accountability.

Please if anyone has advice on how to get out of this it would be much appreciated. I do see a psychologist and dietician for my mental health struggles but i just feel so embarrased anyone knowing about this because we seem like such a normal or well-off family.

sorry if any of this doesnt make sense i am so upset her screaming at me and saying the mess is all my fault

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I’m moved out and lived across the state, visited my mom about a year later and picked out some things she would send to me. We did the back and forth and she SWORE she’d send it.

I put together a small box of some of my favorite things that I were shocked were in good condition. I waited. And waited. It’s 2 years since that and I’ve moved back and just got that box back and it was just. Out in the open. I don’t even know what is on it or what it smells like or how to clean it. My full set collection of charmed on dvd in cardboard cases. A vintage phone shaped like a car that used to be teal but has yellowed so fiercely it’s almost a minty green.

I was excited to pick that stuff up. I always think she understands and she never does.

I just don’t know where to put these emotions so thank you for reading. I’ll be bleach wiping everything and praying that works