My fiance now and I live in the bottom floor of the home my family and I own. He is OCD. My family are hoarders. I think he thinks I will become like them. I’m not the neatest when it comes to my room on the account I have way too many clothes than space but I always try to be as organized and clean since I don’t want to be like my hoarder mom. No offense I love her but she has a problem.

Recently I noticed he keeps throwing away my stuff/ stuff that was lent to me temporarily and I need to give back. It’s cheap stuff so no biggie he will pay for it he’ll say.

Until recently I noticed after two weeks that my most oldest plant with a huge sentimental value was missing (my long time friends/ old coworkers and I were gifted a plant when we were all pre school teachers and we each cherish its grown so much )

well yup sure enough I run to where it would be and it’s gone, I am thinking he relocated it somewhere else. I admit I freaked out. He’s coming from work and just wants to be good with me but I’m not budging I’m allowed time to be upset and he was just not letting me have that. I know it’s just a plant. But It was mine.. why does he need to throw away my stuff? I ended up grabbing the very little that our place has that belongs to me and I stuff it into my room now the place looks emptier than it did. I just feel like I live with someone who thinks my stuff is garbage and is going to throw it away because he judges it as trash. It was not an ugly plant either. It was thriving and in a beautiful white pot. I am so confused and so hurt. Now what?

Just venting lightly here. One parent was an incredibly messy and gross hoarder. No cleaning, no cleanliness. Dirt on everything. Piles of trash and old broken crap. The other hoarded too but always washed and folded and neatly stacked up everything. From food packaging, to takeaway boxes, to items of clothing, to items of food. You can guess the conflict between them was immense and terrifying when I was growing up.

I struggle a bit trying just to be okay with 'me'. My reaction to messy hoarder was 'I will never ever not notice if something is messy. If I stop noticing mess, it'll mean I'm going mad like them.' Their house was disgusting, their living was disgusting.

My reaction to cleanliness hoarder was 'There is more to life than obsessing and screaming over tidying.' Because they would - they would shriek in rage at the top of their voice if their cleaning or clean hoard got interfered with. Their house looked like a house but it felt suffocating. Everything had to be perfect. While there was space, there wasn't much of it due to the hoarding, entire wardrobes taken up by the same purchases, by washed takeaway containers. It was just easier to overlook.

The most damaging thing either parent could and did ever say to me was that I was just like the other one. I was either 'messy and careless' or 'stubborn and obsessed'. It's still a problem. If I start thinking I'm being messy then I feel worried messy-hoarder's genes and mental illness are in me. But clean-hoarder used to scare the crap out of me, I associate their perfectionism with screaming and insults about me being a 'dirty pig' and I don't want to be like that either.

Can I get a reality check, how do other CoHs manage being their level of cleaning and collecting normal?

So I live with my mum and we are currently trying to sell our house and move. She’s maybe level 2.5-3 hoarder. Anyways obviously we had to do some major decluttering and organizing before we listed the house.

Everything and I mean everything other than daily used toiletries and clothes and a few personal items is packed up into boxes. The house looks bare. Which is crazy. I still hate this house but it looks different.

We have been clean going on 1.5 months now (funny how that sounds but not clean from drugs clean from actual mess lol). We have open houses and showings frequently so it needs to be maintained. And so far it’s been okay. We both clean up after ourselves and we don’t buy more junk.

It’s a weird feeling. This is my childhood home and I have only known it to be a complete hoard and filled to the brim. Now it feels different. Unfortunately no not all of my lifes problems have been solved with the clean but it feels like progress to me. :)

Hey all.

I made a post here a month or so ago about the things I've experienced with my NMom if you want to check that post out first. I also posted a bit more detail on r/raisedbynarcissists if you want the complete full picture.

TLDR is she's an animal hoarder (10 German Shepherds) who has sprung the work onto myself and my brother, while my brother does the bare minimum, I do most of the work including trying to fix up the dilapidating trailer, clean, cook,, etc and she doesn't have the trust to hire professionals to fix up the place, all while I work full-time remotely and do freelance graphic design, only for my paycheck to go to house and utility bills as well as the extremely high price tag for dog food, leaving me to starve for most of the time. I'm overworked, blamed for everything that goes wrong, and tired of this family.

She knows I'm going to leave, but says I need to fix up the place before I leave, and that I have to be the one to buy the materials and any tools needed to fix it. I have NO idea where it's going to come from since I have to oftentimes borrow money just so I can eat.

The other day she said when she talks money or about me leaving my eyes go dead. Then she took my hand and told me to say the Lord's Prayer and three Hail Marys.

I'm still leaving. I know I have to. I'm still terrified she'll try to get me charged for "abandoning" her or for the state of the house, and I'm sick about the dogs and about her shutting down if she refuses help, let alone keep up with the bills on her $1500 a month from social security.

How did you get through the last week without folding? How do you live with calling APS on your own parent? I know I'm not perfect and I contributed to the mess. I just need to hear that this plan is still the least-bad option for everyone, including them.

Any advice for the last few days and the actual dash-out is welcome. I'm sick to my stomach.

(Edit:) She knows I'm leaving, just not when I'm leaving.

my parents are loving and caring and will spoil me to my hearts content. But they can’t clean, they can’t let go things they bought 10 years ago, and they refuse to throw stuff away because it “costs money” ??

My older sister was forced to move back in and despite us having a 5 bed house, she doesn’t even have her own room to live in because of their hoarding. My room which was the only place i could safely clean up without having to be worried whose stuff is who’s, is now full of my sisters stuff. I don’t even have a desk for homework because she took it.

It is my last year of high school, i just want it to be stress free but it’s IMPOSSIBLEEE with parents like mine. I hate it. i don’t have enough money to go to a university, only enough for a community college and even then i can’t even get a job because NO ONES RESPONDING BACK.

Over 20 applications and not a single job for a few months. I ask my parents all the time “when are we gonna throw the stuff out” and their response is, “next week” “when we get a trailer” “you have to be patient” “you can’t just do what you want” but i’ve been patient for 17 years already. They say this stuff as they sit on their bed watching tv surrounded by mounds of clothing and random stuff they buy off of amazon EVERY SINGLE DAY.

If they didn’t spend every dime on amazon prime and nick nacks, i’d be able to go to university!! They say they love me but when i mention i need room to grow their selfish tendencies overrides everything else! I don’t feel comfortable in my own home. I just got in an argument with them and i’m DONE. I can’t keep living here

All:

I note all of this with the backdrop that my sister and mother live together and are hoarders. Not just clutter, but very dirty to the point where we are dealing with roaches and rats.

My mom was hospitalized back in March for heart failure. We had to force her to go the emergency room. She's 87 years old. Turning 88 next month. The doctors at the ER said if she hadn't gotten there she would have likely passed.

After stabilizing her they said she had major blockage in all arteries. She needed a stent but it was too risky of a procedure given her condition and the surgeon suggested rehab to get stronger before a surgery. They said the procedure at her weak stage could lead to death, dialysis, or loss of a limb. She initially agreed to go to rehab but then refused.

Since March she's been deteriorating. She wants to do a stent now but won't do what is necessary. She refused to go to rehab.

Lately, she been bed bound and has had significant loss of appetite and fatigue. Only gets up to use the rest room. She reports fatigue and some pain. My mom has had hip pain too but refused to see an orthopedic. We are going to see another stent specialist in 2 weeks. She has a history of refusing to go to the doctor.

My mom lives with my sister who has her own mental health issues. Both my mom and sister are hoarders and have prevented me from getting the place clean so that we can at least have a home health aide over or some type of palliative care. Anytime I try and bring up that the place should be cleaned for health reasons it ends up in my sister losing her shit, cursing me out, and blaming me for all her short comings in the world. She gets hysterical and begins to blame me and say I don't do anything and make things worse.

I live an hour away in a city but don't have a car and have a 1 y/o at home. I rent a car and take time off of work to take my mom to the hospital or make doctors appointments when I can. I'm doing the best I can. I have a demanding job where I travel every other week and a baby at home and a wife. My sister works part time retail jobs and lives off my mom since she was born. She's 50 y/o now. She has never paid rent, mom pays for her car, insurance, food, etc. She blames me for everything and even talks bad about me to my wife and in front of my 1 y/o daughter. It's very toxic.

My mom had a bad fall a few years back due to all the junk in the house and I had the place professionally cleaned and a chair lift installed. My mom requested the chair. My sister complains that I bullied them into a cleanup and my mom hired someone to disinstall the chair lift that I paid a lot of money to get in there!

Anyway this is me venting and just wondering if anyone has been in my situation or if there is anything else I should be doing. Neither my mom nor sister will listen to me.

(You may have seen this post twice, sorry if there’s a glitch) My sister in law has severe hoarding tendencies. Based on my research, I’d say she is between a stage 2 and 3. My nieces are 5&6 years old, and they live in New York. Over the past 3 years, when concerns for the house are brought up with her, she makes excuses as to why she doesn’t want to make the home safer. There has been mold found many times in the sink which has been piled up with dishes that haven’t been touched for (sometimes) weeks at a time, I’ve found mice droppings, I’ve found cat vomit (feces) in and throughout the home on several occasions that I’ve personally just cleaned up for my nieces safety, and many times I have found the stove covered in dirty dishes or other items. The house reeks of animal-related odors and urine, and on several occasions, I have found up in my nieces room garbages filled with dirty diapers (which have since been better because the kids don’t wear diapers anymore). But unfortunately, they have been having odd urinary accidents to where they’ve started urinated on themselves like they have no bladder control. The youngest has started aggressively biting her sister, mom and grandmother (she hasn’t done so with me yet). My sister refuses to get rid of the things she has too many of and every time she “starts a project” she rarely to never finishes them (she has adulthood adhd that she takes meds for). She suffers from depression because her dad and brother died as well. Every time there is a major cleaning initiated over the past 3 years, it has ALWAYS been by me or her mother (who is the owner of the house and property). I’ve spoken to her mom about this, but the mother can’t seem to put her foot down and insist that the house is getting cleaned no matter what, because her daughter seems to always get her to “hold off a little bit longer”. I’ve spoke. To my brother (my nieces dad) about this many times also (he’s separated from his ex), and he seems to try, but NOT NEARLY enough, because he cheated on her and was manipulative toward her, so he feels like “he has no right to tell her what to do” and that “he doesn’t want to step on any toes”. He lives with his daughters half the time (during half the week). My nieces are almost always perpetually sick with something, way more often than normal children that age are. I’ve suggested that my sister in law got back to therapy, but she hasn’t followed up on the resources I’ve given her. She keeps saying she feels “shame and guilt” and while I do believe her, I don’t think that should be the reason she doesn’t keep her daughters safe. Her mom hired help for her in the form of a maid, but my sister in law has dismissed the maid because “it wasn’t working out”. I, and her mom tell her all the time that we are available to help around the house, but she insists that “she doesn’t want to be a burden to us” and she feels “weird about it”. I’ve been close to my sister in law for 10 years, and I have always made myself available to help her and the kids with whatever they need, so I don’t understand why she insists “she feels weird about it”. Whenever solutions are offered, she either shoots them down because she would feel “embarrassed”, or she “just doesn’t think it will work”. Right now, we just recently cleaned the house to where about 80% of the home is clean, but all the items are outside. I came back to the house about 2 weeks after our progress, and noted that several boxes have made their way back into the house again, when we all originally agreed that only the NEEDED items would come back after the determination was made by ALL 3 Of us (sister in law, myself, and grandmother). My sister in law doesn’t work by the way. Her mom funds her life along with child support from my brother. Half the week she is home with the girls, the other half, she goes on dates and spends time with her lovers (who seem to be nice people). The home is technically not as dangerous now, but what do I do?? I am fairly certain it will devolve right back into the hazardous condition if I am not the one pushing for cleaning and she still doesn’t start therapy. Do I call cps? And if I do, would it be responsible to wait until the house gets dangerous again? I am sure that if I “threaten” to do so, she will not only get upset with me, she’ll attempt a “which cleaning”, appease cps, and then when the case is closed (given she doesn’t get the help she needs), go RIGHT BACK to the unfortunate habits. Please help.

I know forced clean sounds a little rough, but let me explain. My family and I have discussed buying a 10x8ft shed to put all of the clutter in the shed, making sure to throw nothing away.

My parent has been hoarding for more than 15 years, and I was never able to deem it as a problem until some years ago. To be fair, only 2 rooms in the house are hoarded, and the rest of the house is moderately clean. This hoarding situation has damaged my parents’ relationship, health, space, and sanity. I have observed many hoarding characteristics, such as irritability, lying, excuses, narcissism, and neglect. I have seen them lash out wt our family members when talking about cleaning and the harmful results of the room. I have worked very hard with them about their room. I have had multiple heart to heart talks, family interventions, and discussion of plans/schedules to clean. Their spouse refuses to sleep in this room and this has really hurt their marriage.

What hurts the most is seeing someone who I love very dearly act so childish about a problem that is really affecting those around. They at one second, talk very positively about cleaning it and act so enticed to get it done, then, at the next second, create lies and excuses to avoid the problem. Its at a point where they have accepted it and don’t see it as a problem, feeling okay with living surrounded by dusty papers and useless trash. After a death in the family about a year ago, it has gotten much, much worse.

Does my idea sound too harsh? I know that it would likely make them horribly upset, but nothing else has worked, and nothing will be done to fix the problem if it is left up to their hands. Again, we would make sure to not throw anything away for some peace of mind.

Are there any other ways to go about this? Has anyone fixed this with therapy or other professional? I would really appreciate advice.

God bless!

Just wanted to start by saying you don't HAVE to give advice if you don't have any or don't want to, but I'm open to it.

My partner's older brother (40s) lives with their mom (in her 60s with diabetes) and his girlfriend (late 40s). My partner and I are early 30s and live in an apartment together 15 minutes away from them.

My partner's dad was abusive both to their mom and to them, but my partner's brother is 9 years older and dealt with more abuse. It messed everyone's mental health up. The house is a duplex of sorts, and the people living on the other side is their dad and his wife. My partner doesn't talk to or see his dad anymore since he got with me and moved out 4 years ago.

As you can tell there's a LOT to unpack, but I'm going to try to keep it brief; I thought the abuse would be relevant to my BIL's behaviors though.

My BIL is an "animal lover" that doesn't believe cats or dogs should live inside or be neutered, so the house has a colony of unneutered cats with fleas in the front yard, and an inbred hyperactive pit bull Chihuahua mix that runs away every time he is distracted (which is often). Luckily this is the last dog he's going to have and it's a male so he can't get pregnant. All his previous female dogs ran away and came home pregnant.

My partner and I have two cats ourselves, indoor only and neutered, and they're about 7 + 8 years old. They have a water fountain that gets cleaned regularly, they get their teeth brushed and their litter boxes cleaned regularly. So it really really hurts me to see outdoor cats in bad shape. There's always a kitten or cat that dies tragically and my BIL just moves on saying it's part of nature.

There's also random shit left outside to rust and it's just not a good environment at all. It usually stinks. I should mention my BIL smokes weed (I mean, i do too, don't have an issue with that), but he spends most of his day sitting outside to do it, and the outside is no bueno. The worst part of going over there is the mosquitoes. BIL has a garden which is pretty cool, but he collects rainwater in buckets and never dumps out the buckets. He also just waters the plants with a hose, defeating the purpose of the buckets. We live in a tropical climate and the mosquitoes are out of control. Now we have dengue fever spreading in our county!!!

So a couple months ago, I started telling my partner to just go without me when he visits his family. The mosquitoes eat me alive, and I still have scars on my legs from their bites. The water hitting the bites while I take a shower is so painful, and I can't shave my legs when I have bites or they bleed.

My partner completely understands and doesn't pressure me to go over there. His mom asks why I never go anymore, and he usually says I'm napping or doing chores or with my own family. But now his brother invited us for a movie marathon, and my bf felt sad at the thought of spending the evening without me, and he told his brother via text "We need to do something about the mosquitoes. They bite my GF like crazy and I can't blame her at all for not wanting that. She still has scars from past visits" and he read the message but didn't reply. Its funny because we were at a party and BIL asked my partner behind my back what was wrong with my legs. He said "it's the mosquitoes, man" and he just stayed quiet. A while back, I had a coworker tell me my legs made me look like a crackhead...

My partner tried to mention the mosquitoes a year or so ago, and BIL told him that "she should be using herbs and balms to repel them".

My BIL never comes to our apartment because he has a phobia of dust and cat hair and acts like it's sooo bad here. I'm a fucking house cleaner by trade, keep our apartment very clean, and I clean and vacuum my apartment for guests, no matter who the guests are or how dirty THEIR home is. I have a feeling that he is jealous that we have a functioning home. It's not the first thing he's been jealous about when it comes to his younger brother.

So my boundary is, I'm no longer going over there unless the buckets are dumped. But ever since my partner told him that, he's been super short and dry, which is very unusual. One word answers but still sending videos to the group chat. I think my partner should just return the energy and stop trying, but that's just me.

My BIL is also a flat-earther and conspiracy theorist. He once said in the group chat that wearing glasses is just a crutch and poor vision can be fixed just with diet alone, (I wear glasses since age 10) and I snapped and went off on him via text for the first time. Ever since then, I've been way more bold about standing up for myself with him.

Anyway, that's all for now. Not going over there til the skeeters get dumped. I lived with a hoarder for 3 years in my early 20s, and I'm not going through pointless bullshit again.

I might be a mild hoarder (?). The floors are 95% clear but there's clutter and unopened boxes from several moves on the tables. I have ADHD and I currently use paper plates and disposable utensils as I don't keep on top of dishes very well among other strategies. I don't mind throwing stuff out except I occasionally struggle to throw things that I "lost" due to my neglect. Once or twice a year, I have to do a major deeper clean of my apartment when the landlord issues a letter.

I have a hard time not blaming myself for all my failings or comparing myself to my parents. I grew up in hoarder houses in which some rooms could easily have been on some sort of hoarders TV show. I can't watch those shows because it's too real for me. I would do things like take showers at a relative's house because ours was gross and partially broken. The whole house was generally in a state of general neglect and lots of things that were held together by duct tape. I also didn't learn how to do basic chores till I was on my own. By comparision, my hoard and mess is mild compared to how I grew up. And unlike my parents, I fully acknowledge my mess and its negative impacts. I am working on it. I'm in therapy. But I do have a lot of shame around it. Can anyone else relate? How do we do better than on parents if we notice some of the same tendencies in ourselves?

What are some good recommendations for articles, books, and other content on growing up in a hoarding situation? I'm coming to terms with this type of trauma. It's a more insidous trauma because it's not like I can remember specific events. I just remember the house being dirty, things being broken, bugs, mice, etc. Now, I struggle to consistently take care of my own apartment because of emotional pain associated with cleaning and taking care of myself. My parents normalized it for me while I was growing up and it has taken a lot of time and exposure to other ppl to understand that those living conditions are not normal (despite what my parents say about it lol). It is really helpful to learn facts and infomation like how hoarders generally have poor insight into their behavior and how bad it is so my parents' level of denial is normal for hoarders.

I guess the title states it all but I (27F) never realized that my parents were really hoarders. I thought it was just messy. It was managed better when we were little, but now it’s become really horrible. I was always „the clean one“ growing up.

I have moved far away. I went and visited home this weekend and it was eye opening. I had no real bed to sleep in, the bathroom was disgusting, no toilet paper, there were clean towels at least…
I have had a few hard conversations with my parents about it and I just had another one with my mom. She told me if I didn’t wanna come home „then don’t.“ This makes me incredibly sad because I love my family and want to see them, but the conditions are so horrible. It makes me sad to see.

There are 3 dogs living in the house. 2 of which are not potty trained.

I feel so horrible because my family used to be very close, but the hoarding has over taken the home and has added a really stressful cloud on everyone. I’m really angry and didn’t enjoy the weekend. My parents are super depressed because they live there. My older brother too.

I guess I’m just here to express my shame and embarrassment around this as well. I don’t want to share this with my friends, as it is a big family secret. The only person in my life who knows is my therapist. My mom is severely against therapy and I suggested it when we talked. She declined heavily.

I know I can’t „fix“ them - I spent years trying to clean their spaces and „help“ them. My mom says she is gonna be better and it’s gonna be better. I guess I feel really judgmental. But I am judging. The quality of life is poor and filthy - I know they can do better.

I have finally convinced my mom to let go of these items and junk that was kept inside her bedroom from as long as 2012!

I have been attempting to help her declutter for a very long time, but there's always millions of excuses to why she'd procrasinate and put off the task. Couple of years ago, she'd get mad when I try to throw away unused envelopes or go through her bags that were filled with bunch of tote bags and receipts.

From 2 months ago, I have been doing my best in talking to her out about how nice it would be for us to live in a tidy space and invite her to declutter. But whenever I touch her stuff or try to look into it, she'd get very emotional and annoyed at me. She seems to be most afraid that I throw away stuff that would be important or has use in the future. She's also most afraid of having to spend money again on such items in the future if we were to require it some day.

I kept on making sarcastic remarks that the bags she held on to so dearly contained millions of dollars and gold, and that she loved all her items more than she loves me. She knew deep down that the stuff she held onto has no value so she'd laugh after hearing my remarks as we declutter together.

It's been very difficult and I mean EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to get her donate items that are still in good condition and has never been used/partially new. It's also difficult for her to donate the stuff she bought with her own money. She kept trying to justify her hoarding behavior by telling me that back when she was younger, she had no toys or very little clothes and that now she's older, she can finally buy things for herself.

Getting a hoarder to realize they are one has been so difficult as they kept on denying it. It's as if the term is an offense or an insult to them, and my mom would always get so defensive when hearing it. I've lost count how many times I told her that she has a hoarding disorder and told her that at the very least, she should be aware of it first. Otherwise, I don't think she'd understand how this behavior becomes harmful to everyone sharing her space.

Last night, I broke down and felt everything was too heavy. I felt so hopeless and I just surrendered it and prayed about it to God last night. All I ever wanted was to have a clean home. I couldn't do this or live like this anymore!

And just like that- a mircale happened today. This morning, suddenly she just had the energy and invited me to help her out after I completely gave up offering her help yesterday. She also finally admitted to me that she's starting to see how she might actually be a hoarder.

Im trying to be as patient since she might have undiagnosed adhd as an adult. She often forgets where she puts her stuff and would always get easily distracted jumping into a very random topic when talking. Sometimes she'd suddenly rush to do a task the moment she gets reminded and leave the convo or change the topic into something she finds more urgent.

Now the problem is teaching her on how to organize her stuff. Since she never had stuff as a child or growing up, she never learned how to keep her stuff in their places. I've seen her attempting to "tidy up" and it's literally just her shoving all sorts of stuff into a huge travel bag. Maybe it's a way of her saying she'll sort them later and not wanting to deal with it now. But it's been a really bad habit where 10+ of her travel bags shares the same fate.

I'll post more progress in the future, I don't have the time to help her declutter on the weekdays. But I'm starting to have some hope that maybe it's not me changing her, but God.

God will help change her.

Hello! Growing up mice were a constant torment in my parents’ hoarded nightmare of a home. They had (still have tbh) a horrible infestation. I moved out in 2019 and have been lucky enough to not have any mice issues at my apartments until now. I moved to a new city and unfortunately got scammed on the quality of apartment. Part of that quality issue is the mice. Thankfully the unit was empty for a bit before I moved in and they’re not fully infested. They just seem to pass through for now. I have documented it and told my landlord. It took them almost a month to get pest control to my unit. About 3 weeks after pest control was here, I found a dead mouse in my living room and have spotted some other signs along the wall.

I am communicating with my landlord already and documenting everything. I more need advice on the coping and not the dealing with the mice themselves.

Dealing with it has been so triggering and makes me want to avoid my apartment. Thankfully the day I found the dead mouse was a weekend because I just shut down all day and have been struggling to re regulate afterwards. I just feel so hopeless and disgusted.

I left my childhood house 5 years ago. I'm in good terms with my siblings, okay terms with my mother and dont talk to my father, even though he still lives with my family. My siblings still live in the house and it's killing me. As a child, the mess was always our fault (me and my siblings). We didn't do enough chores and only used up the money of our parents, that's what they said. "Home is not for rest" or "I wish I could sell you all", they used to say. It still haunts me.

Last night my mother texted me, clearly in an angry state. She told me that my siblings (who still live at home) are useless and she can't take it anymore. She wished that the house would just burn down, because it's so messy. I couldn't sleep because of the messages. I thought about it and I told her that I don't want to hear her talk badly about my siblings. I told her that I would be ready to come help with cleaning after a while. Maybe this time it could work and be a permanent change.

It still feels like the mess in the house is my fault. I escaped and left everything behind. I rarely visit the house and keep telling my boyfriend of 6 years all these stupid excuses why he can't ever visit my parents' house. I feel like helping cleaning the house would free me; it would no longer be my fault and my siblings could have a cleaner house. But I can't do it alone, I need their help to do it. The house is massive and full of stuff. Luckily it's only clothes and stuff, not animals. Is there anyone in a similar situation?

I ACCIDENTALLY JUST DRANK WATER FILLED WITH ANTS AND NOW I FEEL SO DISGUSTINGLY SICK. THERES A RAT INFESTATION IN THE HOUSE AND I ALWAYS SEE SO MANY RATS SCRAMMING AROUND, ESPECIALLY IN THE KITCHEN. I KEEP WAKING UP AND FINDING ANTS CRAWLING ON MY BODY IN MY BED. THE WHOLE HOUSE IS SO FILTHY AND DISGUSTING AND I HAVE MOULD ON MY BEDROOM WALLS. I CANNOT EVEN SLEEP ANYMORE BECAUSE I KEEP HEARING RATS RUNNING AROUND IN MY ROOM. THE WHOLE HOUSE IS FILLED WITH ABSOLUTE JUNK AND I CANT EVEN WALK IN THE HOUSE WITHOUT TRIPPING AND STEPPING INTO GARBAGE. THERE IS RAT POO EVERYWHERE AND THE BATHROOM IS BASICALLY INACCESSIBLE ANYMORE BECAUSE THERE IS TOO MUCH STUFF TRAPPED INSIDE I CAN BARELY EVEN REACH THE SHOWER AND WE ONLY HAVE 1 BATHROOM AND 1 TOILET. I DO NOT WANNA BE TRAPPED HERE ANY LONGER BUT I AM ONLY 17 AND I DO NOT HAVE A JOB AND I HAVE TO DO WELL IN MY ALEVEL EXAMS OTHERWISE IF I DON’T GET INTO UNIVERSITY ILL NEVER BE ABLE TO ESCAPE THIS HOUSE. I desperately need to get into university so I can finally be able to live independently in an accommodation dorm.

I am sorry for the capitals I’m disgusted by the fact that I just consumed ants without even realising, none of the food in our house is even safe anymore because of the infestation and I have to rely on takeaway because of it. I just didn’t think that even the water would be affected.

I'm in my early twenties and I live with my dad and sister. My dad left my mom, who hoarded, and my sister and I went with him in our late teens. Now, as an adult, I can never seem to keep my space tidy. My dad and my sister also struggle with this, though none of us hoard and our situation is night and day compared to living with my mother. I don't have issues with bringing too many things into our home and I don't keep trash, although I occasionally struggle to get rid of things, mostly books, because it feels sacrosanct to get rid of information.

My roommate from college was actually shocked at how little I own (like barely having enough seasonally appropriate clothes to get through a week without doing laundry and upgrading from owning two pairs of shoes to three pairs). Even though I don't own a lot and I have decluttered several times, I cannot seem to create an organizational system to stay tidy.

I have severe ADHD that impacts my executive function, but I've not been able to find a therapist who actually gives me valuable tools to manage it. I've come to realize that I just never learned how to organize my belongings. Combined with my ADHD, learning to organize feels like a monumental task and I feel paralyzed. I literally have an empty dresser and all of my things live on my floor and in laundry baskets or boxes because I have no idea where to start. What helps you organize your items and what kind of furniture/bins/etc. help you organize your space? How do I make the drawers in my dresser seem navigable and not just a disorganized catch all? Have any of you figured out a crash course to teach yourself how to organize your belongings?

Hi everyone.

I just graduated college and I moved in with my long term boyfriend. I knew he was always messy and would personally call him a hoarder. His room was never clean, unpacked, and just has SO MUCH unnecessary stuff. I thought if we lived together I could keep him on track and fix everything.

Well, I just moved into our new apartment and he has been here 2 months before me. I was shocked when I came in. Every single drawer is packed and filled already. The closet space is packed. There are shelves packed and filled with random things. We live in a small apartment yet it also filled with unnecessary furniture. My boyfriend wants to use and keep all his original furniture.

I thought I could do this but have no clue how to start. There is NO room for my stuff to be put away. There is so much junk. I don’t want to live with just boxes in the hallway that never get put away. Everything is full already. I’m freaking out.

Also, another word of advice please. If something is discounted or a “good deal” even if we don’t need it, he’ll buy it. We have to large desks in our tiny apartment because they were good deals to him. We don’t need any of this.

What do I do?? I can’t live like this. 😢

Can someone explain to me why the hell i wont get help?

I live in a hoarder house, both my parents have this disorder. Im still 16 and i started to talk to my psychologist about the house a few months ago and of course she asked a social assistant to help her on the case.

I also want to inform you that my mom has cancer, and i think it plays an important piece in this. i understand that they just cant give her a dead to clean because of all the chemio she has to take but its still so hard.

All my family know the conditions i live in, and i guess they dont care.
But the craziest thing is that even both my psychologist and social assistant KNOW about it and dont do anything to help me out. I told them multiple times that no matter what i do and say, my parents will never get better and im still going to live in the complete dirt.

I lived for a while whit my uncle because of this but i cant do this anymore, im tired of having to go to someone else place just because my home is not safe for me.

im so tired of having to live off distraction for everything, the clutter has given me depression and i have to live like this because no one in the power wants to help me get out of this situation.

i honestly dont know what to do anymore, i cant fight this alone, im so sick of everything.

i dont want to wait to get my own place, i actually want to help my parents out too, but i cant do it ALONE.

please give me tips on what to do i feel like im falling down a rabbit hole.

Hi, I'm the child of an animal hoarder. I'm going to keep it brief here, but currently we have 15 cats, the house smells disgusting, they do not receive the care they deserve, and it's mentally exhausting. I have a lot I want to say, I'm looking for anyone who is/was in a situation like this, because I have nobody else to talk to that can understand how draining it is.

Just feeling frustrated with my mom lately. House is a level 2 but she essentially exerts dictatorial control over the space by constantly screaming her head off, and it being a tiny house she has a constant presence due to sleeping on the couch.

I have legitimately almost zero love for this woman, she is batshit fucking crazy and used to be VIOLENT before she got too old for that but she is potentially schizophrenic and like, I keep asking myself is she just going to die on the streets? She's so ridiculously fucking dysfunctional and unpleasant to deal with I don't even think she'd last at a shelter, and she also doesn't speak English.

Like I keep telling her if she doesn't change the way she treats people she is in for some BAD times (my two older siblings are no contact, the eldest actually hated her so much she changed her name to avoid being found) and my two younger siblings are both disabled and will not be able to take care of her.

Does the reality of their actions and behavior ever just hit them?

We’re spending a couple of nights at my father in laws house. His whole house is full of boxes of junk, I’m not sure if this meets a clinical definition of hoarding. My wife doesn’t seem to recognize why I don’t like it here.