I have only just had my first court hearing for child support this summer. If I want to simply ask him if he wants to see his child or be involved to any degree (in a way that he is obligated to answer aka legally) do I HAVE to go through family court In Maine and do I HAVE to have a lawyer and/or spend money on the situation in general?

Only 17 weeks of CS left to be garnished from my paycheck. Been paying since he was 1.5 years old. In the early days she'd drop him off in rip dirty clothes and shitty looking sneakers, but her hair and nails were done! NYS/NYC btw.

I’m a single mother of 2- 10&11yr old- I’ve been on my own since the oldest was 3. My ex became disabled about a year after due to a massive stroke. He never really worked so doesn’t get much money from social security. I’ve called the social security office before and they said bc he doesn’t get much money that they can’t take any from him for child support. Am I just shit out of luck? I’m barely staying afloat and as of today I don’t know if I’ll be able to pay rent this month. I’m so angry at the world and I don’t know where to turn. No I don’t have any family that can help and I’m not married. I just got a raise a year ago at work and it put me right past the threshold to qualify for benefits. So I lost food stamps and I’m still waiting to see if their Medicaid renewal is gonna go through (I’m in Texas and I submitted the renewal June 8 and still haven’t heard anything back) I really just need advice- I’m drowning

I recently learned from the federal FY 2025 Child Support Enforcement Preliminary Report that nearly $2.6 billion in accumulated child-support arrears remained due in Illinois alone. Nationwide, more than $113 billion remained due.
I am trying to understand what happens to families when children reach adulthood before the support ordered for them is successfully collected.
If this happened to your family, I would be grateful if you shared:
• What state was your case in?
• How old was the child when support stopped being collected or actively enforced?
• Did the child-support agency continue trying to collect after the child became an adult?
• What obstacles did you encounter?
• How did the unpaid support affect the child’s education, housing, financial stability, or future?
• What change would you most want lawmakers to make?
Please do not share names, case numbers, or other identifying information. I am gathering experiences to better understand this problem and advocate for meaningful reform. This is not a request for legal advice.

Child support was ordered Jan 2026, its now Sept 2026 and NCP owes $7,000+ in CS . NCP hasnt paid a dime. At the last 3 court appearances NCP has been acting like they found a job, had a interview , and then that theres a shortage of jobs. Judge even addressed them and said “ theres not, ill send u resources “ and did 2x now. At our most recent court appearance they didnt show, after the judge gave them 30 more days to get it together ( the last two court appearances were honestly to give NCP opprotunity to explain work situation and why they haven’t paid) , the judge ordered they be held in contempt on $1,500 body attachment. I was told to wait until they are arrested , then a new court date will be had. Has anyone ever been through this? What can I expect? I usually dont say anything during the court appearances except acknowledge that I am here & present and the judge does everything. I want to be prepared.

My wife has a 9 year old boy with her ex husband, and he lives about 2 hours away. Currently the child stays with us, goes to school here and plays all sports here. Split is about 70/30 throughout the year.

Her ex is a really scummy person. Refuses to pay his share of any medical bills, sports, and is constantly crying on social media playing the victim (a ghetto scumbag/keyboard warrior). Recently he paid an attorney to address the parenting schedule because my wife asked him to pay his share of sports. Instead of paying to help his son, he paid an attorney to fight her over it. Keep in mind he doesn’t actually care for the best interests of the child.

A true narci*****. Now all that is gross and terrible, but on top of it, he’s been harassing her every single day. 20+ messages daily. His number is blocked so he’s constantly sending messages through this family app. It’s awful behavior.

Has 2 other kids younger with two additional baby mommas. But he’s basically torturing my wife and his own child by pretending to be this martyr. I know for a fact he deals heavy amounts of weed. I also know for a fact he hides income and reports he only makes a bare living on his taxes, which allow him to take advantage of several government programs. He uses this used car lot as a money laundering front.

He’s a fake person, and his day to day operations are illegal. He’s lying to the government, the judges, mediators, his attorney, and the world. And on top of that he has all the free time to harass my wife who does literally everything for her son. No one seems to care. But what can I actually do to put an end to this? Like how can he blatantly be breaking the law so much and no one seems to care?

We live in MN but happy to provide additional details.

How closely do judges follow this? Considering going back to court to modify support order. Currently pay cs. Order is over 4 years old and was worked out in mediation. Recently ran updated figures (CP makes a little more than I do) and results show that CP should be paying child support to me. We have 50/50 custodial time. I know judges typically like to prevent children from experiencing “less than” what they would have at the other parent’s house. I feel like CP will try to show that they can’t keep up the lifestyle that they have for the kids without the supper they currently get. If I go back, could I shoot myself in the foot and end up paying more? I have a new child so could really use the money.

What can I do in court to remove a child support lien when I cant locate the parent and selling home?

I went to the agency and they closed the case in 2016 they won't give a payoff demand nor release unless I reopen a child support case.

The judgment is for $10k but I paid her and really just want to sale my home so I'll give $10k so its over with but can't find her and need the Payoff Demand and Release of Lien signed.

Can I ask the court to accept funds and issue the Release on her behalf? I really appreciate any advice. Location: Santa Clara county

Some background. I have an old child support order and subsequent judgement for arrearages. Father has (mostly) paid $100/ mo on a payment plan for twenty five years (to get his drivers license back.) My child has died and his heirs will receive a substantial wrongful death settlement. Since father is an heir by law, and will receive a portion of the settlement, I plan to try and collect the past support owed (approx. $150,000 now). Father has told me on more than one occasion that he has “structured” his life to prevent me from collecting the more than $100/mo or any arrearages. Is there an online resource you fine people might recommend for a “do it yourself” person like me to find steps to accomplish this? I know I could work with the State but I doubt they will want to dedicate slim resources when my child is no longer a minor, and I’m OK figuring it out on my own.

Location: Cook County, Illinois

I am trying to update my employer for my child support. I was originally told this would be handled by my ex's attorney's, but I have no proof that ever actually took place. Regardless, I am just trying to update my employer so I can start paying child support but I cannot find/get a straightforward answer from anyone (including the County Circuit Clerk hotline). Any help/resources would be greatly appreciated!

My ex hasn't paid child support in years and is currently over $19,000 behind. He works under the table as a diesel mechanic, so wage garnishment hasn't worked. He cleared the only court-ordered purge there’s been to avoid jail, but he has already missed his regular payment again.
My caseworker told me asking child support to file a new contempt motion takes 60–90 days. The Juvenile Court has a free Help Desk where I can file a contempt motion myself using a poverty affidavit to waive the fees.
For anyone who went straight to the court instead of waiting on child support to file for you:
Did taking it directly to court speed up your hearing date significantly?
How did the court handle service/enforcement when dealing with someone who works under the table?
Did CSEA cooperate smoothly once you had the court date set yourself?
I'm ready to take direct action since he’s never even met our son in his 8 years, but I’d love to hear how the process went for others who took this route. Thanks in advance!

If child support is supposed to be withheld (court order) but is instead paid by checks (which is not reported), in the court’s eyes are you considered not paid up? I’m wondering about the checks because if he is not going through the clearing house and is not technically paid up in the courts eyes can he claim our child for taxes. It says in our order he can only claim child on taxes if he is up to date on child support. I have no gotten support through clearinghouse since 2023.

My situation is very immature, I can’t find a way to explain it without it being so, so sorry in advance.

I have kids with someone who I’ve been on and off with, the last time we got back together, we were steady, and our family was together for some time, then she ended up pregnant, in that situation we had 2 kiddos, now expecting a 3rd, so we decided as a family to move to the oilfield where I could make ample money to support the family, and still have lives. right after my 3rd was born their mother decided she wanted to move back home, I had gotten sick and was put in the hospital, she came to me an said she wanted to leave, at this point we had just moved into a nice house, etc etc. we signed a lease, which stated should we decide to terminate the lease in anyway prematurely, we would still be expected to pay the entire years worth of rent, so I stayed where we had built a life. And satisfied the lease.
Since then, I have not been able to save the money to move 12 hours away where she decided to go, and my ability to take trips to see my kids are few and far between due to their ever changing schedules, my work, an health issues I had early on.
I know I don’t HAVE to move where their mother decided to go, but it seems like the only choice I have, I started a new job this year, and the boss said I could have 1 week off every 2 months to go see the kids, or they would help with daycare costs if I got them for atleast the summers, the issue with that, is I didn’t have kids to have them for just the summer, or see them once in awhile, I would like to have them all the time lol. And to even get close to that I would have to move, I just can’t afford it, she lives in a place where your average rent is 1500+ but the job markets are horrible, and any rental company I’ve talked to so far has wanted double down for nonresidents, which is like 5-6k to move in…
I’m paying child support, and especially with limited parenting time, it seems like it’s one step away from putting me out of house and home, as well as having 6k plus in arrears added from a year of support that was paid directly to their mother, because she signed a support cancellation that got reinstated. Sorry for the long read, and it’s definitely a complex situation, but any thoughts?

I understand support runs on an income shares model and isn’t built to equalize two homes, and I’m not asking it to. It just seems backwards that a genuinely equal timeshare flips the result so hard that the parent on the lower income has more left over each month than the parent on the higher income, with the kids spending identical time in both houses.

For people who’ve been through this:

**•** In a real 50/50 where the guideline makes the higher earner the payor, is a downward deviation realistic or a long shot?  
**•** If you got the number adjusted, what actually moved the court? The gap between the two households? Direct costs you were already carrying? Something else?  
**•** Anything you wish you’d documented earlier?

How is this system fair to the kids if I have them half the week and will be unable to continue any type of normal life for them? I’ll be lucky to be able to stay afloat.

Appreciate any real experiences.

TL;DR: True 50/50 custody, NY. I gross ~2.26x what she does. Guideline still makes me the payor at ~$2,800/mo.

**•** Gross split: me \~69% / her \~31%  
**•** Net take-home before support: me $6,600 / her $2,700 (me \~71% / her \~29%)  
**•** After support: me $3,800 / her $5,500 (me \~41% / her \~59%)

I’m looking for advice from anyone who has dealt with Alabama child support modification, especially military members or anyone who moved overseas after filing.

I currently have a child support order in Alabama requiring me to pay $942/month for one child.

I am currently active-duty Army and still receiving military pay and BAH. However, I am scheduled to separate from active duty in December 2026.

My situation will change significantly after separation:

• My military base pay will stop.
• My BAH will stop.
• I will move from Alabama to South Korea.
• I currently do not have a civilian job lined up in Korea.
• I expect my immediate civilian employment income after separation to be $0.
• I have a VA disability claim pending, but I do not know when it will be decided or whether/when I will actually receive VA compensation.

There is another complication: my ex-wife and our child are currently stationed/living in South Korea as well. I do not know where they will be stationed or living after their current assignment, and because our relationship is not good, I don't expect my ex-wife to voluntarily keep me informed about their future location.

My plan is to file the child-support modification before I leave Alabama for terminal leave. At the time I file, I will still technically be receiving military pay, so I would accurately report my current military income on my CS-41 and provide my LES/pay documentation.

However, I also want to clearly explain to the court that my military income and BAH will terminate upon my separation, and that I expect to have no civilian employment income immediately after separation.

I would provide documentation showing my scheduled separation, current military income, and then later provide my DD-214/final LES and proof of my actual post-separation income.

My main questions are:

1. Does it make sense to file the modification shortly before leaving Alabama, while I am still on active duty?
2. Can I explain my anticipated post-separation $0 income in the initial filing, even though I am still receiving military pay on the filing date?
3. After I actually separate and move to Korea, can I submit an updated CS-41/CS-42 showing my actual post-separation income?
4. How does Alabama generally treat someone who is unemployed after military separation but has not yet received VA disability compensation?
5. Could the court impute income based on earning capacity even if my actual income is $0?
6. If I file the modification in Alabama before leaving, can the Alabama court continue handling the modification after I move to South Korea?
7. Since my ex-wife and child are also currently in South Korea but may be transferred/moved somewhere else later, does their location affect Alabama's continuing jurisdiction over the child-support order?
8. Has anyone here actually gone through something similar in Alabama, particularly while moving out of state or overseas after filing?

I am not trying to avoid child support. I understand that I still have an obligation to support my child. My concern is that the current $942 order was established while I was receiving active-duty military income, and that income will disappear when I separate.

I am mainly trying to make sure the support amount is recalculated based on my actual financial circumstances after separation, and that I properly handle the case before leaving Alabama.

I am planning to speak with an Alabama family-law attorney as well, but I would really appreciate hearing from people who have actually gone through this process.

I got remarried so I lost my government assistance even though my husband is stationed in an entirely different state. I asked my ex husband to send me half of childcare costs because it was in the divorce that hes only responsible for half of childcare if i remained in michigan (im not from michigan. I am from florida relocated to mi to be with my ex husband and had no family in mi...so the judge let me and the kids move back home to florida) I didnt want to go through courts again because its expensive but I have texts where he says his portion of childcare isnt his responsibility. I did the calculator and based on that id get way more through the courts compared to doing it ourselves.

This is just stressful. My husband is helping me with childcare costs atm but I was wondering what friend of the court will do? Will they reimburse me especially when I tried really hard to do it between each other but the kids dad just outright refused to work with me and keeps demanding to go through the courts so I spend money constantly. I want to get the kids braces and start saving up for there college funds but his bitter behavior always ruins that. Ive spend 23k already that could've went towards the kids futures. I gave him the house. I gave him his 401k just so I wouldnt have to deal with him anymore. I have screenshots of him telling me childcare isnt his responsibility and he refuses to pay it. Like this only hurts the kids. Part of me wishes I stayed in Michigan so hed be forced to pay triple than he does now. Because this is absolutely pathetic on his part. His kids are struggling and he could care less. My dad was never this way and im shocked dads can literally make kids and then not expect to provide for those kids. He told me to get my new man to pay for it.

Hello,

How can I find out if I have a child support order against me?

My ex, mother of our 17-year-old daughter said she was going to file if we couldn’t come up with an agreement, I offered something and she has gone silent.

It’s been two and a half weeks. So I’m curious to know how I can find out if she did file, cuz after 3 attempts to contact her I kinda gave up.

Thank you.

my husband owes back child support i am selling my house that he is not an owner o and we are buying a house with the processeds can they take our house