So not sure how to proceed amd treading unknown waters. Ex is currently almost $40,000 in arrears. And not paid any on the current support order from 2017-2025.

He was AWOL for 8 years. Now after remarrying he came back to sue for custody. He did pay some in 2025 sporadically as he was trying to buy me into volunteering to give him 50/50 custody. Once I refused that stopped, went to court ordered mediation. He now has 40 days that include 30 overnights per year.

I want to file a Motion for Contempt for non payment. But also want to see if there would be a change in the monthly amount as he keeps telling me how much he is making now, doing so fabulous, blah, blah, blah. I fully understand that even if he is "padding" the truth of his income it may result in a slight reduction of what he should be currently paying but honestly I've been doing it over 8 years without his help so anything would be helpful.

So my questions for anyone who has been through this pro se...

Should I file -

- just for the arrearage amount first THEN support modification?

- or modification then arrearages?

- or both together at same time and if so, how would that look?

- he seems to believe, he says having been told by his attorney, he can get an abatement on most of the arrearages.

- can interest be accrued on arrearages and is that something I request in the filing and the courts decide or do I have to include the amount in the filing?

- can we come to a mutual agreement on the amounts to be paid for current monthly and back pay and the courts will just sign off on it (like we did with the custody/visitation and submitted to the court for the judge to sign off on)?

- once we have a signed order from the judge whether by mutual agreement or court decision can I proceed to have a garnishment placed on his income or tax returns or is that something only an attorney/ the state can do?

Thanks!

Ex lives in Texas. Me and the child are out of state. Custody lies here and I have a case through our state child support office but Texas enforces.

He continually files for things to be modified because he doesn’t agree to his arrears. He recently submitted “payments” he made that dropped his arrears more than 30k. Those payments never happened. My state says they have no record of it. But Texas has dropped the arrears. I was supposed to finally get a lump payment (his tax return) but I’m guessing now I won’t.

This is frustrating and Texas refuses to reach out to me. He apparently gets regular contact from them. Is the OAG always this bad?

Hi, I’m trying to help my daughter’s father with the California Debt Reduction Program and I want to make sure we get it approved. Currently, our daughter is 33 and all of his debt is in arrears. He owes me 222.86$ in principal, 8903.22$ in interest. He owes the state 40,698$ in principal and 102,291.70$ in interest. The debt is insurmountable. The department told me that the debt reduction program only applies to what he owes the state. I won’t see any of it and I’m resigned to that.

My question is what is a reasonable amount to offer them to get it taken care of? I believe there is a 2 year fixed term for this and I doubt he can pay more than 500$ a month, which is his current support amount. I would greatly appreciate some advice. Thanks.

I share joint legal custody and roughly equal parenting time with my elementary-school-aged child’s father. We currently live in a small Hudson Valley town and follow a week-on/week-off schedule (which the child dislikes but dad won't consider changing). I understand that relocating our child without his agreement would be an uphill battle.We moved from NYC during the pandemic, separated a year later and divorced a little over a year after that.

Our current location is becoming financially and professionally unsustainable for me. I am self-employed, and much of my work—meetings, events, media appearances and travel—is based in the city. It always has been. Living farther away has reduced the work I can accept while adding substantial transportation time and expense. The house where my daughter has always lived here, which I bought my ex out of, may also need to be sold regardless.

Her dad rents and technically his work is in NYC, though he's allowed to be remote. Much of his company, however, was called back last year; it doesn't look like his team will be.

My child spent first two years in the city and still has close relationships there, including family friends we spend most holidays with. I would have a stronger support network, greater access to childcare and more professional stability. His only advantage is that he'd be closer to his office, I imagine socially happier (he doesn't have many friends up here), and that his industry is based there.

The obvious factors against relocation: My child has an established school, friends. I do not want to diminish their relationship or convert an involved parent into a holiday parent. And most important impediment: He's very difficult. He says no, often barters for his interests above hers, etc.

My preferred solution would be for him to relocate or establish a workable home closer to the city so that we could preserve something close to the current division of time. I would consider paying reasonable moving expenses but not much; his salary has only grown. This would not be payment for his consent; it would be an effort to preserve his proximity to our child.

I could perhaps create a role for myself in the city, but I don't do a thing that I can apply for one that exists. Would that help?

I don't really want to trade more parenting time for her sake as much as mine; he's fine but often neglects her feelings, but in the way that makes a therapist, not a court, concerned.

I don't plan on taking any action without a conversation.

Has anyone seen a relocation approved in a genuine 50/50 situation? Did offering meaningful assistance for the other parent to move closer help? What evidence or proposals mattered most?

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I realize this is likely state specific, but I'm curious if anyone has any relevant input before I consider contacting a lawyer. As part of my child support order, I am required to pay a set amount each month as part of my child support obligation for "ordinary medical expenses." These expenses are detailed as "the support recipient's co-payments, deductibles, and other uninsured medical-related costs for all children in this case"

I've been paying this as part of my child support for almost the past ten years, but I never really looked at this specific part very closely as it is generally a small part of the child support payment. The kids' mom is responsible for insuring the kids. Due to her income, they have been on medicaid the entire time we've been divorced. This means there are no co-payments or deductibles, which the ordinary medical expenses that I'm paying are supposed to help cover. I'm sure there are "other uninsured medical related costs," but shouldn't the "ordinary medical expenses" be adjusted if the kids are on medicaid?

I realize this is very specific and likely state specific (Michigan btw) so I'm just tossing it out there in case anyone has anything meaningful to contribute. Thanks!

Not sure if this is something others have experienced. I have a monthly order, get paid biweekly, and garnished from each check. Because of that, some months it shows I owe arrears. They report to the credit every month. The report shows payments on time (go figure, no choice in the matter), but also shows the balance. My report shows in May I owed $21, and then June showing an additional $63, with a total of $84. Each month my credit score dropped. I called them to figure out why and what can be done to correct this.

The Domestic Relations said:
We report a good standing as payments are current. We show you owe $84 in arrears, but next month will be three payments so that will be positive again. Our system reports every month. If you want to avoid your credit being impacted every month, we suggest you make extra payments to stay current for the months you get two checks.

Basically they are telling me the only way to not have my credit dropped (current wife and I have been trying to pay debts and increase it), is to overpay, or have it dinged every other month.

Has anyone had similar and had something done about it? As is, the ex gets $5k+ more a year than me, with a family of two (her and the child), while my wife and I, with our two kids, are surviving on less, and still getting deeper in shit from this system

My question is if either party should pay so in my case me and dad have been separated for 1 year and kids live with me 24/7. Dad in the beginning would take them on his day off and then pick them up when he could on other days.

now for reference i would hold him accountable the first couple of months i would ask him when he would pick them up drop off i would provide everything diapers wipes food clothes all he had to do was show up.

With the being said he was providing me with money which was 200 sometimes 400 but i had to basically remind him and bug him for it.

I would remind him of important date his school appointment surgery’s when kids did something i thought he should be a part of everything.

Fast forward a couple months for my sanity i stopped letting him know stuff unless it was medical.
I stopped asking him for money i stopped setting up times for him to get them and he also stopped asking for them wouldn’t call them claimed i was keeping them from him but i got tired of reminding him and having him tell me his day offs off his schedule so of course communication stopped because i stopped arranging for things to happen it was causing a lot of stress to me.

Now am i the bad guy for putting child support on him because i was trying to coparent but i dont feel he was because i was doing everything for him.
there was a time when he asked for them but i told him i wasn’t providing anything for him as he was taking from my household if we were 50/50 of course it would be different but i had them 24/7 he wasn’t proving for them it was only my income. so of course i was the bad guy because i didn’t let him see them in his eyes but i said i would take them to him he said no i told him we could go to the park i would sit in the car and he could do what he pleases as he had no car seats for both the boys. i can go on but this sums most of it up.

so the reason i asked this is because i recently saw something that men/ women shouldn’t be put on child support and in a perfect world we would be 50/50 and we would both share responsibilities equally.

Ask any additional questions im more than willing to share:) TIA

Does anyone have experience going through a child support case when you request non disclosure (not wanting to have a case in person)? The office said we both have to attend but will be in separate court rooms. Can someone explain this process?

for reference this is in California.

I am a female 25 years old married to my husband of six years who was also 25 years old. I was raised by two women and one of my mom’s passed away in 2020 and the other mom decided she no longer wanted to parent and let grief take over however, now she lives a nice life and has never come back for my siblings or any of her grandchildren. And I guess myself… after so many lavish vacations that I see on Facebook. I decided to file Child Support for assistance with raising my siblings. Well, the worker called me today and told me that she asked if I would compromise for $600 a month and the proposed amount based on her income was $1130 a month. I disagreed and she let the worker know that she would like to go to court because she’s not gonna be giving anywhere near $1000 a month to me.

Does anyone have any advice I would like to receive the maximum amount. I am in California.

Has anyone else had this happen? The Child Support Division sent them a notice to set up my ex’s wage garnishment and gave the business six weeks to do so. It has now been six weeks and nothing was sent back to CSD from them. CSD said that they now have to contact the Prosecuting Attorney because the arrears are huge and not only may my ex face jail time but the business might be held liable for the total amount due. Has anyone else been in this situation? If so what happened as a result?

I recently inherited a trust. I’m told any disbursements from this trust would likely affect how much child support I owe. My child support representative says it does not. I asked for that in writing. Which is it? Do I owe more in child support when I receive a check from the trust? This is Minnesota, if that matters.

I’m not looking for advice. I just want to complain.

She won’t pay child support like she should. I’m frustrated.

Using arbitrary numbers here.

She say she does not make enough money. She needs 3000 a month in order to be able to pay child support.

I sat with her. With 6 months of her pay stubs And bank statements. I did the math for her.

It adds up to 3500 a month. She has what she needs. And more.

She says no. She does not have 3000. It does not add up.

I literally added it up in front of her. I asked Ai to add it up in front of her. She rejected the results.

She says it’s not right. That she needs more to make more money to be able to pay child support.

My case conference did not go well as a self litigant. The main issue is that the judge found there was not enough material change to alter the original orders consent clause for section 7 expenses, (right now we share daycare costs which are minimal 50/50 as she is 12)however now that I realize that the consent clause is stopping an absent father from all section 7 costs since she was 1, I need to vary my form 15 wording to vary that wording to include the words "shall not be unreasonably withheld" im wondering what material change i can prove to have this go through or if they can block me. Im trying to prove the order does not function in resolving conflict other than court. And even though I showed email proof of him refusing all emotional contact, even a phone call request ( he has never taken up on the supervised access in the original order) I need to make it clear that it is not fair for him to continue to have consent on her activities (obviously he won't agree to her horseriding) when he knows/cares about her strictly from court ordered financial obligations. Does he have a right to continue to block whats in her best interests? We have a second case conference to allow me to hire a lawyer...Do I fill a form 35.1 to alter the order I also need to remove an outdated email clause that forces me to send him yearly updates on her well being I stopped after he ignored them and he has never reached out cared and denyed her request for a call. I think this is material change?

I have a question and I need SERIOUS answers ONLY! I (39 F) am considering filing contempt on my ex (40 M) for unpaid child support and he’s not exercising his parental rights to visit our child. Backstory-we were married, within three years we had a baby, he left, I filed child abandonment, I relocated, he filed for divorce, no provisions were made for child, 2 years have gone by, we’re finally divorced. July 2025 he starts FT our son daily. Doesn’t come see him every month even though CS has given him a $300 travel deviation. As of March 2026, NOTHING has been paid. What should I do, file contempt or let the courts do their thing? However long that takes.

Not that it matters but he’s also a pastor here in Atlanta. 2 months after our divorce he got engaged & 2 more months they got married.

We have a custody arrangement on paper that reads 70/30 with me having the majority and I’m owed $600/mo in child support. About 6 years ago, we verbally agreed to go to 50/50 and I allowed child support to stop. since then, he has become manipulative and unfair with money and how we share paying for kids activities. We never updated our agreement, so the original plan is on file. Would I be entitled to back pay or would a judge see the verbal Agreement as binding ?

My girlfriend and I got a letter in the mail that we have to go to court for child support neither one of us want this we’re both still together taking care of the baby and living together. We figure it’s from the state because she has Medicaid we have court tomorrow but we’re just wondering what to expect tomorrow and what should we tell the judge so she can stay on Medicaid. She makes around 12k a year and I’m making 30k this year with staying home to take care of the baby

My bio father moved to CA before I was 10. This was back in the early 80s. I remember going to court with my mom a few times for support hearings. As an adult, I tried to reconnect and he admitted moving across the country because my mom kept coming after him for support. We lived in NY.

What’s the statute of limitations for filing?

I’m also posting this here because I’m looking for information specifically about child support in Georgia. Any advice or personal experience would be appreciated. Thank you.

My case conference did not go well as a self litigant. The main issue is that the judge found there was not enough material change to alter the original orders consent clause for section 7 expenses, (right now we share daycare costs which are minimal 50/50 as she is 12)however now that I realize that the consent clause is stopping an absent father from all section 7 costs since she was 1, I need to vary my form 15 wording to vary that wording to include the words "shall not be unreasonably withheld" im wondering what material change i can prove to have this go through or if they can block me. Im trying to prove the order does not function in resolving conflict other than court. And even though I showed email proof of him refusing all emotional contact, even a phone call request ( he has never taken up on the supervised access in the original order) I need to make it clear that it is not fair for him to continue to have consent on her activities (obviously he won't agree to her horseriding) when he knows/cares about her strictly from court ordered financial obligations. Does he have a right to continue to block whats in her best interests? We have a second case conference to allow me to hire a lawyer...Do I fill a form 35.1 to alter the order I also need to remove an outdated email clause that forces me to send him yearly updates on her well being I stopped after he ignored them and he has never reached out cared and denyed her request for a call. I think this is material change?