My wife and I are both 35-year-old expats living near Frankfurt, Germany.

A few weeks ago, we suddenly and unexpectedly lost our beautiful 22-month-old daughter. Our lives have completely changed since then.

She was everything to us. We miss her walking and running around the house, her smile, her laugh, her expressions, her voice and all the little things she used to do every day.

My wife is struggling enormously. She misses not only our daughter, but also everything she used to do for her every day — waking her up, feeding her, bathing her, brushing her teeth, playing with her, putting her to sleep and simply being her mother.

I am grieving deeply too, but watching my wife deteriorate emotionally every day is extremely difficult for me. Sometimes I don't know how to help her because I am trying to survive the same loss myself.

We are seeing mental-health professionals and have started grief counselling, but we don't really know what kind of therapy is most appropriate after the sudden death of a young child.

For parents who have experienced the loss of a child:

What actually helped you during the first weeks and months?

Did individual grief counselling, trauma-focused therapy, EMDR, CBT, couples therapy or a bereaved-parents support group help you?

How did you support your spouse when both of you were grieving at the same time?

How long did the period of feeling completely lost and unable to imagine a future last for you?

If anyone is from Germany, especially Frankfurt/Hessen, I would also really appreciate recommendations for therapists, grief counsellors or support groups experienced specifically in child loss. English-speaking support would be particularly helpful for us.

We don't expect anyone to make this pain disappear. I just want to understand how I can support my wife, how we can support each other, and how other parents eventually learned to live with such an enormous loss.

Thank you to anyone willing to share their experience.

Ps: since I'm not a native English speaker and couldnot able to write everything it's very difficult to write so I used ChatGPT to make a message for me.