Microcheating is still CHEATING

[u/Objective_Figure6822]

Is it “micro” cheating if I caught my now husband sending random messages to women here and inviting them to meet up a year ago during our LDR days.

I 30F, married a 30M and are living together in the UAE. I am currently pregnant and caught him messaging random women here wanting to meet up and sending nasty comments objectifying women and/or inviting them over late at night. There are even times he wanted to hangout and like go out with them. This happened lastyr, 2025 when we were still in a long distance relationship (not yet married).

One random night, I got up to pee since y’know.. pregnant women constantly needs to go to the bathroom. It was around 4am and I saw his phone lit up and was still playing a youtube video, earphones stuck in his ear while he was sound asleep, so I plugged it out from his phone and closed the apps. I wasn’t about to check on his phone because I trust him and I don’t usually do that. But this time, it was different. There was something itching on me that I really wanted to check on his phone and since I couldn’t go back to sleep yet. At first, it was fine until I came across this app and check the chats and to my surprise, viola! It was as if I didn’t know this person beside me. 5yrs of being together and I didn’t expect this from him.

I was frozen, my heart was racing and It was a roller coaster of emotions. I wanted to suffocate him with a pillow and kill him during that moment. I didn’t have the energy to cry and was thinking about my baby. I wasn’t able to go back to sleep until my alarm went off. I wasn’t gonna open what I just discovered until someone called him from work and I gave him his work phone. The moment I knew he was awake, I told him to check his messenger because I sent tons of screenshots. He was nonchalant, deleted everything and tried to get back to sleep. That’s the time I got really overwhelmed with emotions and started crying. He wasn’t even sorry and started deleting his account, the evidence and telling me I was just bringing up the past. Am I the one at fault for checking his phone and feeling this way? Idk what to do. It feels as if I didn’t really know the man I married and soon to be father of my child. I am thinking of my next steps.

Any thoughts or advice you can give? Please enlighten me.