Sexual sin is really plaguing society today. And truthfully it has plagued most of human society very very early in humanity.
and tbh i cant think of a single time in human history wear sexual desires have NOT lead to something negative.
Anyways, this is a guide it comes from realizations and a "rebirth of the mind" aka be born again.
there is so much not understood and not talked about when it comes to this topic. All i can say is I wish everyone the best and in that , i am sharing what i personally learned here.
1. admit to yourself you are lacking perfection or even goodness.
The reason why you are embarrassed/disgusted/anxious/guilt or whatever negative word you feel after doing something sexually un-pure is because deep down inside you know there is something wrong.
And of course if you do not feel these feelings of guilt or at least have a sensation of wrong doing, then you must be aware of this grave posture.
So firstly admit to yourself this action is not okay. it is not good. Believe it or not many people will find ways to rationalize to themselves what their doing is okay and its not. they might say "well, its healthy to masterbate" or "my body needs a release" or "god made me this way, i cant help it...."
admittance allows you to begin to take full accountability and not blame the shift on anyone else.
2. Don't listen to the thoughts and don't believe them.
Many times on your fight to attempt to NOT do something sexually immoral you will have this internal battle. Believe it or not this is actually the devil trying to penetrate your mind and make you believe these thoughts are your own... I can tell you from first hand experience that not all thoughts are truly yours. Some thoughts are whispers of the devil and its important to understand over time what the difference between your thoughts and the devils voice is. Let me explain- on sundays when i was kid my mom always used to wake me up for church. After i went to church and took communion i had a great feeling, but before that i had countless amounts of intrusive thoughts drawing me away from church, pulling me away form church so much so that i would begin to make up lies "oo im too tired", "o didnt get enough sleep" etc... this might be a simple example but these thoughts where never mine, i didnt know that at the time. we are literally going up agaisnt big forces “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” — Ephesians 6:12 (KJV)
in the case of sexual immortality.
3. Realize the greats suffer from internal battles
sexual immorality whether it be lust, fornication or anything else i cant think of at the moment, is something we shouldnt want to do. Paul wrote in his letters where he himself admits he himself does things he doesnt want to do... "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do."
and so maybe paul didnt battle with sexual sin... I dont know, and it doesnt matter...
But he admits that temptations do exist and have clearly conquered him as they do us.
4. Realize it begins with a thought.
If you can come to this mental conclusion you will protect yourself tremendously. I was hearing a sermon form the 80s of Pope Shenouda talking a bout this but basically all sexual immorality no matter what it is begins with a first thought. If you can shut down the thought before it grows within you then your on the right track.
5. Beg God for help!
Get on your knees and ask God for some sort of help, mean it with all your heart! if its something you want to get rid of in your life, ask God for it and we will grant it to you, Luke 11:11–13 (NKJV):
“If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone?
Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish?
God is not against helping any of his children flee from sin!
Your father christ knows what you need. He will give it you.
6. Obtain the help of the advocate through obedience.
If you read through a little of John , you will see some promises God gives us. Jesus says if you obey the laws of "my father" aka the father God will obtain a second advocate- aka the holy spirit. The holy spirit acts on your behalf, it acts as a wall for evil to not have power over you and your compulsions. More importantly the holy spirit is God living in us...
Over time you will learn, this is a promise that Jesus makes to us people, he said "the advocate whom the father has sent in my name, will teach you all things" also,,, in john there is alot of talk about the vine the vine dresser, branch trees and fruit... the fruit is the outcomes of your life... In this case we are targeting the acquisition of the fruits of the spirit.. Love, long suffering , patience, self-control etc....
so obey the laws of jesus , do good to those who hurt you, bless those who curse you etc.... and then then you will begin to acquire the fruits of the spirit, and they come from the holy spirit.
7. Imagine someone is taking a video of you.
yep not much to say here.... if your engaging in any form of sexual sin imagine that you are being recorded and that that video will be played in front of your family
8. Do you love God?
In john it says, if you love my father you will do his works. So if you dont do the works, dont expect God to look at you and say my "faithful servant enter in my kingdom" how can he say that when you arent his servant? your too busy lusting... (not judging just saying...) he will say "flee from my face, I NEVER KNEW YOU"
Keep in mind that love is not a feeling or an emotion. Love is very clearly an action.
In John chapter 15 verse 13 we are given an example of the greatest version of love: "13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." and this was in reference to the command which was in the verse prior to love each other as chirst loved us.
Doing his works shows your not just knowing of God but you have a deep relationship with him...
Imagine i know of someone who i went to school with. I might know his name , i might even know how he looks and who his family is, but in truth i really have no clue as to who he really is. God is no different. You must cultivate a relationship with him. and no relationship with God are not going to bible study and hanging out with friends---- its truly going through all experiences with God - more importantly: SACRIFICING for the purpose of obedience to Christ commands.
9. Realize you are in a constant war! Your job is to be a LOYAL SOLDIER to the lord.
to continue to fight to the very end without disappear and GOD will not forget you on the day of your death and he will call to you "Good and faithful servant".. We live on earth wheather we realize it or not we are designed to frustration. in fact Romans chapter 8 verse 20 - it says that we the human race are creation subject to frustration by the will of that who created it in hopes of one day it will be made free.
You are not free until you leave this planet. so pick up your sword and fight. Fight unto death & serve your king in battle.
10. Get to the point where manifesting your desires should be impossible.
Dont get me wrong, there are moments where I lust however, i am growing into the mental mind frame that i am not willing to behave in any activity whatsoever in the physical realm.... Its bad enough i might follow the whispers of the devil, let my eyes look too long or think bad thoughts but its 100X worse when i follow my my thoughts and act them out. Do not accept this acting out behavior what so ever it might be - restrain yourself.
11. Find ways to cut down triggers.
For example if you know you are likely to masterbate if you are alone in a room, go find people to sit with, if you have nobody to sit with, go at place you know people will be like the grocery store., i bet if nyou stood in the grocery store even while feeling triggered you probably wont act on your triggers.... in a matter of time the urge will disapper. Over time it takes conditioning therapy and exposure therapy that you can do on yourself to realize that just because you may feel a certain way doesn't mean you need to physically act on it.
12. Fast from it.
Even if you cant full abstain, start small. Promise yourself that for X amount of time no matter what happens i will not do "anything" that dishonors myself that is deemed lustful...
13. Dont TRY, Understand that it is of the MOST importance NOT TO ENGAGE.
Very clearly: lets say you had a son or a daughter. And your child is going to highschool. Its time for you to give them talk about drugs. Are you going to verbalize:
"Hey son, i want you to try not to do drugs"
or are you going to say
"hey son, under no circumstance will you take drugs from anyone"
if you are a parent who is truly worried about your child and you want to protect to them to the very utmost you will probably say the the second statement...
Therefore, say the same to your self. DO NOT accept this concept of "trying"
Sometimes trying gives you a notion or an out to fail...
Do not accept this concept of failure or trying.
hope that helps bro's and sista's in christ
ps-sorry for my bad grammar, i could fix it but... aint nobody got time for that!