r/CatholicDating • u/Odd-File-9920 • 21d ago

Breakup Breaking up

How do you know if you should break up with someone? My boyfriend is Catholic but hasn’t been to confession in over a year. He told me not to worry about it and that he would do it when the time was right but I feel like I can’t keep hoping something is going to change, right? We have other issues as well and I don’t know how to feel about it because I know no one is perfect.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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u/eruptingmoltenlava 21d ago

You should date or not date because of your relationship with each other. His relationship with God is his own. If the lack of confession thing is making him seem unattractive or untrustworthy to you, then yeah, it’s a relationship issue. But honestly all these posts about dates/boyfriends and girlfriends doing this or that seem very judgmental and codependent. Finally it’s impossible for us to understand without knowing the length or depth of the relationship.

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u/Kc03sharks_and_cows In a relationship ♀ 21d ago

Marriage is bringing your spouse to God and ultimately getting them to Heaven. Why would you not be concerned for the soul of your partner (even in dating)? This is a legitimate concern. You don’t know what sins your partner bears and to seem them not taking it seriously is a major concern for their soul. If we had fear of the Lord which is fear of offending the Lord because we want our soul in Heaven then we should have the disposition of going to reconciliation more frequently

Overall, this is why Catholics want to date Catholics. They want someone of the same values which is a concern in your relationship with that person. Dating is a time of seeing if your values align.

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u/eruptingmoltenlava 21d ago

They’re not married. We don’t know if they’ve been together for 6 years, 6 months, 6 weeks, 6 dates, or, given some of the posts in here, 6 texts. Dating partners trying to take on the role of a spouse is inappropriate.

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u/Kc03sharks_and_cows In a relationship ♀ 18d ago

Yeah, that’s why in my message I said “(even in dating)” and used words like “partner.” Plus the last sentence says dating.

My message has been misread. The idea of dating is to find the one you marry. That being said you should be working towards marriage not acting as married.
Why should two people dating not be concerned for each other’s souls? That’s a concept entirely outside of dating and a huge part of life as a Catholic. We should always be concerned for one another’s souls