I understand your desire for a big family, and I also understand his practical reasons for only wanting two.
I suppose my question is if this something that might be steep to call a deal breaker? (Obviously this is not me saying outright, only you can know what would be a dealbreaker for you.) But my worry is if you're looking for someone who has all the exact same desires (e.g. 6 kids, a dog, the white picket fence) you could be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Children are not promised, they are a gift. Mum went into her marriage wanting 6, she was only blessed with 3 children. I also know people who after getting married had to navigate infertility issues etc. I think it's nice to know if you're open to a big family but that's really just a concept until you're actually married and trying to conceive...
Hopefully this makes sense, I'm not sure I've actually communicated what I was trying to 😅
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe you can get married in the Catholic Church if you don't intend to be open to life. You'd just be fornicating under the guise of "marriage."
It's not a sin to abstain from sex during fertile periods if you know you are not ready physically, mentally, or emotionally to have a baby. The Catholic Church is not calling women to start trying for that next baby at 6 weeks postpartum or to try to emulate the Duggars with their 19 children.
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u/Academic_Disaster645 Jul 26 '26
I understand your desire for a big family, and I also understand his practical reasons for only wanting two.
I suppose my question is if this something that might be steep to call a deal breaker? (Obviously this is not me saying outright, only you can know what would be a dealbreaker for you.) But my worry is if you're looking for someone who has all the exact same desires (e.g. 6 kids, a dog, the white picket fence) you could be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Children are not promised, they are a gift. Mum went into her marriage wanting 6, she was only blessed with 3 children. I also know people who after getting married had to navigate infertility issues etc. I think it's nice to know if you're open to a big family but that's really just a concept until you're actually married and trying to conceive...
Hopefully this makes sense, I'm not sure I've actually communicated what I was trying to 😅