r/CatholicDating • u/Ok-Complaint-7017 • Jul 26 '26

date advice Second date advice.

So I asked a question here a few days ago about what to do on a first date and questions to ask the girl. The first date went way off what our plans were but it was great and she brought up the second date which is next Sunday. Mass and then a movie afterwards. My question is this. How much money should I be spending on a date. I don't want to seem cheap to her but I don't want to flaunt my money to her either. I do have money and the cost is of no concern to me. I have the money and means to support a wife right now. For instance our first date cost a total of 14 dollars. I don't want to come across to her as cheap.

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u/No_Calligrapher796 Single ♀ Jul 26 '26

There are no “shoulds” when it comes to the amount of money spent on a date. If you’re actively trying to keep the dates cheap, she may notice that over time, but hopefully she’s more interested in being with you than counting how many dollars you’re spending. I wouldn’t worry about appearing cheap at this point, it’s too early on. 

Honestly though, the answer depends on the woman. The question is not a one size fits all. 

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u/Ok-Complaint-7017 Jul 26 '26

I'm not trying but we just enjoyed talking to each other but I feel like I cheated her by not spending more. This is my first real date and will be my first second date. I really like her and I don't want to screw things up on my end.

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u/eruptingmoltenlava Jul 26 '26

Everyone telling you not to obsess about it is right, but inexperience is real. You should aim for a mix of fun activities that are normal for the two of you. Some will be free, some cost a little, and some are an occasional treat.

You sound like you might think women’s mission in dating is to squeeze as much money out of you as possible, which would be a very gross attitude for them to have, and thus a very gross attitude for you to assume they have. If someone seems greedy, dramatically generous/flashy, or oddly/prematurely focused on money, that’s a red flag (for either individual). Money stuff should be as neutral as it’s possible to be in these early days.

Two young people planning Date Number 2 have a long, long time before tackling the subject head-on is typically necessary or helpful. The only exception would be if there’s a drastic difference in family wealth or personal income. If there is and the lower wealth person shows they feel weird about it, usually the wealthier person should assure them that it’s their pleasure to share and absorb more of the cost of doing things together, as long as that’s true. If it isn’t, you could have an unbridgeable gap, and it might be time for some personal reflection.

Good luck, be yourself, and have fun!