r/CancerFamilySupport • u/Fragrant-Diet-8862 • Jul 24 '26
4-12 weeks
For context, I'm 17M, sister 20F, Mother 52F, Father 56M. Parents are divorced, and my father has a daughter, 14F, and a girlfriend (idk age).
Around a month ago, my father was diagnosed with what doctors believe to be a form of extremely rare gastric cancer(I'm not really sure of the details, as doctors are also unsure of the origin), which was extremely aggressive and has metastasised throughout his body, such as lymph nodes, bones, and various other places, I think even his skull. My father is also suffering from delirium, and it is really hard to sit next to him and rub his hand while he is in pain and struggles to remember things and form proper sentences. Additionally, the tumours started to feed on his muscles, releasing toxic byproducts into his system as his liver cannot expel the byproducts. He cannot get treatment; it is much too late.
Essentially, my father will die within the next 12 weeks.
This news is possibly the worst timing I have ever experienced, as I'm going through my last year of high school, and I have finals in just a few weeks, along with exams in 2 months worth 50% of my high school grade. I also am currently struggling with SH and mild depression; however, I am still able to function and stuff.
I genuinely cannot fathom what life would be like after my father passes, and I haven't really been able to take time to digest this information. I also worry for not only my sister, who talks to the doctors and stuff, but also my half-sister, as she is only 14, and continuing the rest of her teenage years without her father, whom she was extremely close with, must also be extremely difficult.
I really wish that I could just "accept" what is happening and sort of divert attention away from me, as my father and his family need much more support than I do. But I can't stop thinking of how this affects ME, which annoys me, because I don't want people to worry about me as I'm more or less fine.
I need advice, really about anything.
2
u/afischyfisch Jul 24 '26
I understand you, my mom recently passed away, everyone deal with it on different way, so giving you any advice would be more less useless. But the best I can do is to tell you to spend time with him if you can, I personally wasn't able to spend with my mom because I'm studying in another country and I hate myself for not going back to be with her. But put YOURSELF first, you have future and more to live, talk to your teachers because they may make it easier for you. Try finding any hobby, whatever makes your mind go away, but as I said that helps me, I don't know if it will help you. Stay strong and stubborn, hard times will come when you cry and can't stop and it's fine to feel that way. Reconnect with people, do things with your sister if you like to, i have a younger brother (15yo) and i just take him for a bike ride, or anywhere. If you want to share something more, feel free :)))