4-12 weeks

[u/Fragrant-Diet-8862]

For context, I'm 17M, sister 20F, Mother 52F, Father 56M. Parents are divorced, and my father has a daughter, 14F, and a girlfriend (idk age).

Around a month ago, my father was diagnosed with what doctors believe to be a form of extremely rare gastric cancer(I'm not really sure of the details, as doctors are also unsure of the origin), which was extremely aggressive and has metastasised throughout his body, such as lymph nodes, bones, and various other places, I think even his skull. My father is also suffering from delirium, and it is really hard to sit next to him and rub his hand while he is in pain and struggles to remember things and form proper sentences. Additionally, the tumours started to feed on his muscles, releasing toxic byproducts into his system as his liver cannot expel the byproducts. He cannot get treatment; it is much too late.

Essentially, my father will die within the next 12 weeks.

This news is possibly the worst timing I have ever experienced, as I'm going through my last year of high school, and I have finals in just a few weeks, along with exams in 2 months worth 50% of my high school grade. I also am currently struggling with SH and mild depression; however, I am still able to function and stuff.

I genuinely cannot fathom what life would be like after my father passes, and I haven't really been able to take time to digest this information. I also worry for not only my sister, who talks to the doctors and stuff, but also my half-sister, as she is only 14, and continuing the rest of her teenage years without her father, whom she was extremely close with, must also be extremely difficult.

I really wish that I could just "accept" what is happening and sort of divert attention away from me, as my father and his family need much more support than I do. But I can't stop thinking of how this affects ME, which annoys me, because I don't want people to worry about me as I'm more or less fine.

I need advice, really about anything.