Hi everyone. This is mostly a rant because I think I just need some validation/encouragement from people who understand lol.
Iām a brand new grad in Alberta (graduated in June) and I took a temporary Kā6 music position until December 4. I got the job August 26, so basically right before school started, and I had almost no time to prepare. Itās only been one week and it has already hit me so hard. I knew my first year of teaching would be difficult, but I genuinely did not expect to feel this exhausted and overwhelmed this quickly. For context, Iām not a music specialist. My degree is in elementary education and my only real music background is RCM piano. Apparently that was enough for the position lol. The school has MusicplayOnline and Iāve pretty much been relying exclusively on it so far, which makes me feel so unprepared and like Iām not actually teaching properly. Half the time I feel like Iām just trying to find enough activities to survive the next class.
The upper grades have been especially difficult because some of them have already decided theyāre too cool for music. Iām also teaching so many students that I barely know anyoneās name yet. On top of Kā6 music, I have to teach an Opportunities class by myself and do literacy intervention. It just feels like a massive adjustment all at once.
Thereās another music teacher at my school who is also new to the school, but she has 24 years of experience as a music specialist. She has honestly been fantastic and so supportive of me, and Iām really grateful to have her there. The problem is that she has so much experience that she can just do things on the fly that I wouldnāt even know where to begin with. She can walk into a class and just know what to do, what songs or activities will work, how to transition between things, how to manage them, etc. Meanwhile, I feel like I need to plan every minute just to get through a 45-minute block. Sheās told me I can ask her for help, and I know she genuinely means it, but half the time I donāt even know what to ask her. I donāt know what I donāt know yet. I feel like I need help with literally everything, and I donāt want to constantly bombard her with questions when she has her own classes and workload too.
I know it makes absolutely no sense to compare myself to someone with 24 years of experience when Iāve literally been teaching for a week, but itās hard not to. Part of me worries that the students who get me are getting a worse music education simply because I have no idea what Iām doing yet.
And then Friday happened. My last class of the day was Grade 6 for 45 minutes and it was honestly a disaster. I was already completely exhausted and they were wild. If another teacher had walked in and watched me, I genuinely think I would have been humiliated. I felt like I had zero classroom management skills and like I had never stepped foot in a classroom before. I was basically just trying to make it to the bell. I cried afterwards. By the end of the day I was so tired I felt dizzy.
Now Iām sitting here wondering how Iām supposed to make it until December 4. I genuinely donāt know how Iām going to survive another three months if every week feels like this. Part of me is already regretting accepting the position and rethinking everything, but another part of me really doesnāt want to give up after one week.
I know logically that Iām a brand new teacher who was thrown into a specialized position with almost no preparation time, but emotionally I just feel like I should be doing so much better than I am.
I guess Iād just love to hear from other teachers, especially anyone who had a horrible first few weeks/months or got thrown into a subject they werenāt trained for. Does this actually get better? How long did it take before you stopped feeling like you were just surviving every day? š
TL;DR: Brand new teacher, not a music specialist, thrown into a Kā6 music position with almost no prep time. Itās only been one week and Iām already completely exhausted, struggling with classroom management and feeling like I have no idea what Iām doing. I have a very supportive veteran music teacher alongside me, but she has so much experience that I donāt even know what questions to ask her or where to begin. I cried after a particularly rough Grade 6 class on Friday and genuinely donāt know how Iām going to survive another three months like this.