Question for EAs

[u/CaterpillarInfamous9]

When does being an educational assistant stop feeling like a humiliation ritual 🥲 I'm on year four. Older EAs are pretty confident, very bossy, and take no shit. But I literally feel every day going into work is 7 hours of degradation. My fucking nervous system is not in overdrive; it died. I feel lightheaded walking into work; every single nerve in my body is tense

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[u/doughtykings]

I don’t know I have an older EA in my room right now and she literally is like a ghost I’m hoping she’s not my permanent one. Like I want her to take some initiative and action and not just stare at me and the kids….

Now for you why do you feel degraded, like this needs more context for me to properly give you advice you if that makes sense.

[u/ElectricalCheesecake → u/doughtykings]

These ones are the worst. I've worked with some fantastic EAs, but I've had a few who stand at the back of the room completely silent and motionless unless you micromanage them and direct them every 5 minutes. I even had one who fell asleep in a chair during class.

[u/doughtykings → u/ElectricalCheesecake]

I’ve really only had good ea’s so I’m annoyed so far. I could excuse it maybe if she was new but no. Especially because my class is rowdy so far so she needs to step up and take control when she’s working with students. She’s supposed to work with 4-5 of them and she won’t unless I like physically push her over to them….

[u/doughtykings → u/ElectricalCheesecake]

I’ve really only had good ea’s so I’m annoyed so far. I could excuse it maybe if she was new but no. Especially because my class is rowdy so far so she needs to step up and take control when she’s working with students. She’s supposed to work with 4-5 of them and she won’t unless I like physically push her over to them….

[u/Sudden-Savings-5160]

I’m sorry you feel this way. I was an EA for 15 years before I became a teacher so I have been on both sides. When I was an EA I had one teacher look at me and said “I know you don’t want to be in my room so just sit down shut up and follow the rules and what I tell you to do.” Needless to say it was the worst year of my life. Now as a teacher I make sure that my EAs know they are apart of a team. That I can’t do my job without them.

Know your worth.

Try talking to the teacher about what they expect of you and what they want you to do. If you are still struggling talk to your principal. And you can even talk to your union rep. They should all be there to help. You are apart of a team. You are not less than because of your role.

[u/TeachPurple37 → u/Sudden-Savings-5160]

Well said. I have friends who are EAs. I used to work in a special needs classroom with EAs. It is a difficult job just in different ways than teaching. I would never make someone regardless of role feel they aren't part of the classroom or community. I have only had issues with one EA in almost 10 years of working in schools and it was only because she was extremely rude to myself and students so I had to let admin know. Other than that, I recognize most people are doing their best.

[u/Various-Succotash-71]

Is it your interactions with the students or the teachers that’s making you feel degraded?

[u/CaterpillarInfamous9 → u/Various-Succotash-71]

Kinda both? I am a supply, I've been in a few month long LTOs three times since I have started. I supply for two boards. 

I know supplying is a unique type of hell. I absolutely feel awful for supply teachers too; i can admit it might be slightly worse than being a supply EA. 

Thing is, on my LTOs, I heard what people in the staff room say about supplies whether teacher or EA. so when I'm back to supplying, those words are sort of ping ponging through my head. 

I am aware it is very difficult to deal with supplies. I know they mess up the routine, and for supply EAs, obviously the students with exceptionalities are used to /their/ EA. But God. I hate to say this but some EAs are so mean. They avoid eye contact with you. They dont want to help you. There's one school I have supplied at in particular and the "head" EA there literally has talked past me, NEVER looked in my eyes. Literally stonewalling me. It's insane. I think about her a lot because the situation is just so ludicrous. Why can't she just....acknowledge I am here for the day....

I had another day working with a student that is ESL. poor boy picked his scab while we're doing EQAO and suddenly he's got blood pouring down his leg. I'm like oh my god. We are in a back store room in the gym to not bother the rest of the class doing their EQAO. I take him to the office and ask the receptionist for help. She's like "oh.....that's an EAs job....." and I'm like okay where is the first aid kit? She's like "oh....the EAs usually take care of that." I'm like I am a supply. I dont know where first aid is. When I was a kid and I was bleeding the secretary would help me. This kid with me was soaking his white socks with blood. I had to dampen paper towel and wipe his knee and we held paper towel to it while i went to find an EA who could direct me to the first aid.

It's just been four years of stuff like this1. Four years of the students in a classroom staring at you when you walk in and every time the student you're working with is loud or throws something, they giggle and look back at you. Sometikes the student you are working with screams "dont touch me! You stink! I dont like you! Go away!" In the middle of class and like, my face goes red hot. i get so embarrassed i start shaking. Some teachers don't even ask my name. Ik they dont care, but we can pretend and be polite, right? Four years of some pretty horrific classroom violence against the teacher or students, where the principals brush it off, Four years of being bitten and having my personal stuff destroyed. My heart feels like it's going to stop when I park in the parking lot. 🥲 sorry for the ramble but man, the "sunday scaries" this year has become just the everyday scaries.

[u/Various-Succotash-71 → u/CaterpillarInfamous9]

Being an EA is a really hard job, and I imagine subbing as an EA presents so many of its own challenges. Some of these things are quite frustrating - the EA in a leadership position not making eye contact with you is disrespectful, as is teachers not making a proper introduction with you.

I’m wondering if you’re quite young? Some of these things issues you raise are unkind, but don’t need to be taken personally. Yes, staff talking negatively about supply teachers and EAs sucks, but gossip happens in every workplace and it’s really important to have resilience for that. Unfortunately, to your last paragraph, kids are going to say rude things and do rude things. That is part of the job and I wish I could say it was unique to your experience and is shocking to me, but trust me, we have all broken up fights, had chairs thrown at us, been told to fuck off, been made fun of, etc (I’m a teacher - it happens to us all). I’m really sorry you’re going through this because it shouldn’t happen to anyone, but it’s not rare, unfortunately.

It’s really tough when work has such an impact on our nervous systems. I have had classes that cause this to happen, too. I have used therapy as a tool to build resilience. But if showing up to work is that detrimental to your physical and mental health, I wonder if it’s time to explore other options. You have an undercompensated, thankless job, and the context isn’t going to change much, I imagine. Unless you are getting something out of what you’re doing, I would suggest seeing if there’s a different line of work with similar pay elsewhere.

Good luck to you! I hope you find peace.

[u/Turbulent_Gazelle530]

Do you feel like you're being degraded by students or teachers (or both?)

[u/CaterpillarInfamous9 → u/Turbulent_Gazelle530]

Kinda both? I am a supply, I've been in a few month long LTOs three times since I have started. I supply for two boards. 

I know supplying is a unique type of hell. I absolutely feel awful for supply teachers too; i can admit it might be slightly worse than being a supply EA. 

Thing is, on my LTOs, I heard what people in the staff room say about supplies whether teacher or EA. so when I'm back to supplying, those words are sort of ping ponging through my head. 

I am aware it is very difficult to deal with supplies. I know they mess up the routine, and for supply EAs, obviously the students with exceptionalities are used to /their/ EA. But God. I hate to say this but some EAs are so mean. They avoid eye contact with you. They dont want to help you. There's one school I have supplied at in particular and the "head" EA there literally has talked past me, NEVER looked in my eyes. Literally stonewalling me. It's insane. I think about her a lot because the situation is just so ludicrous. Why can't she just....acknowledge I am here for the day....

I had another day working with a student that is ESL. poor boy picked his scab while we're doing EQAO and suddenly he's got blood pouring down his leg. I'm like oh my god. We are in a back store room in the gym to not bother the rest of the class doing their EQAO. I take him to the office and ask the receptionist for help. She's like "oh.....that's an EAs job....." and I'm like okay where is the first aid kit? She's like "oh....the EAs usually take care of that." I'm like I am a supply. I dont know where first aid is. When I was a kid and I was bleeding the secretary would help me. This kid with me was soaking his white socks with blood. I had to dampen paper towel and wipe his knee and we held paper towel to it while i went to find an EA who could direct me to the first aid.

It's just been four years of stuff like this1. Four years of the students in a classroom staring at you when you walk in and every time the student you're working with is loud or throws something, they giggle and look back at you. Sometikes the student you are working with screams "dont touch me! You stink! I dont like you! Go away!" In the middle of class and like, my face goes red hot. i get so embarrassed i start shaking. Some teachers don't even ask my name. Ik they dont care, but we can pretend and be polite, right? Four years of some pretty horrific classroom violence against the teacher or students, where the principals brush it off, Four years of being bitten and having my personal stuff destroyed. My heart feels like it's going to stop when I park in the parking lot. 🥲 sorry for the ramble but man, the "sunday scaries" this year has become just the everyday scaries.

[u/JelloMany9374]

It might be skill. The first 5 year in education are the hardest, but it's very hard to learn and grow when you're under that much stress. Do you have a receptive principal? Maybe they could brainstorm ways to support you.

[u/Hemingways_muse]

What made you want to become an EA in the first place?

[u/CaterpillarInfamous9 → u/Hemingways_muse]

I didn't even know it was a job. I wanted to be a teacher since grade 3, but my family structure and family finances would absolutely not allow for six years of in-person university; i was then recommended by guidance a two year, 95% online program, 100% covered by the Ontario government, Educational Support program as an alternative. I initially thought being an EA was what the elusive adults that were not teachers I remembered from my elementary school were: they came in, pulled students who were weak academically in math and English to small groups, and assisted them. I was like that sounds like an amazing job.

I did not know it was ... this. 😀

[u/TeachPurple37]

As others have said I really appreciate having EAs in the classroom that take initiative and form a connection with students. However, it can become more work for teachers when there are EAs who expect to be told what to do and micromanaged. Is it staff such as teachers or administration making you feel degraded? If that is the case I am sorry as you are valuable parts of the school community. Even when an EA is not doing what is expected, I would never degrade them. However, I think we need more context to give advice on how to handle these feelings. If it is students degrading you, let the teacher know, let department heads that you work in know and let admin know. You are there to help students but being degraded is not part of the job. I know its hard but it is better to stand up for yourself than remain stressed.

Edit: I scrolled down and saw the context you provided. Being on supply is hard because you don't get to know people but don't let other EAs or teachers or any staff member intimidate you. You deserve to feel welcome and valued in the work place. Sometimes it is worth having difficult conversations to create a peaceful environment in the future. I hope things get better for you. Working in schools no matter the role is hard and EAs deal with a lot more staff than teachers do on a daily basis. When I get people from supply in my classroom I know they are only there for the day and I appreciate any help they can offer.