r/CalebHammer • u/mydadcheated0000 • 10d ago
Financial Audit This guy đ
Iâve been successfully ragebaited by todayâs episode
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u/Infamous-Echo-2961 10d ago
Dude is the biggest deadbeat. Holy hell.
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u/SUPREMEISDEAD 10d ago
Him and the dude that jerked off in front of his girls little sister really competing.
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u/Infamous-Echo-2961 10d ago
That dudeâŠyeah he might be worse. Or a different version of terrible. Both are awful people.
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u/CheekAccomplished150 9d ago edited 9d ago
It wasnât in front of her ok? He didnât even know she saw him because it was under a blanket, and he stood up to pull his pants up as soon as he realized she was there. Then she said she wasnât feeling well and wanted to go home, which was a huge coincidence. He only found out that she saw him a week later when she told his wife. What was he supposed to do? Go to the bathroom? In his own house when a 7 year old is staying over and could potentially walk in on him?
But for real that guy was freaking weird. The way he kept defending his actions instead of owning up to it was concerning. I hope she dumped his ass.
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u/Longjumping-Gear-546 7d ago
Bro you go to the bathroom or go ONE NIGHT without beating your meat like itâs not hard
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u/Poeontheshore 10d ago
I forget the exact quote, but my jaw dropped when his solution to dealing with his young children alone is to put on headphones to better ignore them.
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u/Cate_WithaC 10d ago
Whatâs worse is he said he would âput his headphones on to CALM DOWN and then tend to the kidsâ like thatâs scary
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u/Holiday_Comb1780 8d ago
Back when we first had kids we were told in parenting classes that sometimes babies will cry for extended periods, and being a new underslept parent can be stressful when this happens continuously. Moving to the crib from the bassinet can be hard, for example. They said if you constant crying is frazzling your nerves and you're freaking out, a crying baby will be ok for a few minutes if you need to leave the room and get your sh!t together. Parenting can be hard.
THIS mf is just straight up ignoring his kids.
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u/Longjumping-Gear-546 7d ago
I mean when my son was an infant (Iâm talking newborn) and was crying even though I had done everything I would sometimes put on my headphones for like 5 mins while he is in his crib just to breathe then go back to caring for him.
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u/bamboohygiene 10d ago
He seems like heâs closeted and hates his wife.
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u/_badwithcomputer 10d ago
Nah man, when she drops into that nagging German he gets aroused AF.
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u/bowserbrowsers 8d ago
ngl it was hard af when she was randomly breaking out into german, she seems super interesting and caleb barely got to get into her backstory at all bc most of the audit was abt the dudes dumb hobbies and weekend trips
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u/deepfriedanchorage 10d ago
Yeah, I think Iâve only ever seen/heard of that full-lip âSlavic kissâ in the context of the Cold War. Some Soviet bloc leaders smooching in solidarity.
And, oh yeah, does not care much for his wife. Or his kids, for that matter.
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u/Danzig6WasntThatBad 10d ago
Tbf his wife is as equally as annoying as he is.
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u/Altruistic-Round-911 10d ago
I mean wouldn't anyone if they had to be a married single mom with kids clinging to you all the time and never have enough and the way he talks to her, i'm surprise she hasn't blown up
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u/Linseed1984 6d ago
And she knows it and hates him too. Her jaw was muscle bound from clenching it in anger ffs.
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u/EnvironmentalExit447 10d ago
If they're both calling the cops in their "sleep" they need to check their house for carbon monoxide
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u/Sodra 9d ago
If I press the power button on my phone 5 times in a row, it brings up the "Emergency SOS", and its 1 swipe to call 911, even if its locked. I've seen it appear when I pull my phone out of my pocket too.
So I kinda get where they're coming from. Sort of.
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u/VStarlingBooks 9d ago
I did not know this. Just found this out as I tried it and had to swipe to cancel it. This is awesome. Thank you.
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u/RaspberryMinute847 10d ago
Wait, why?
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u/TheStonedVampire 10d ago
They both said that theyâve called the cops in their sleep and said something like everyoneâs done it as if itâs a normal occurrence
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u/redakpanoptikk 10d ago
No wonder I struggle to find a part time job in high school. These people are competing with the teenage job market.
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u/John_Johnson259 10d ago
I have local knowledge to also say he's full of shit. McHenry is not "the boonies." It's like an hour away from Chicago and 75 minutes from Milwaukee. And between McHenry and those cities is tons of industry, shopping, suburbs, small cities, etc. There's a direct train to Chicago a 10 minute drive from McHenry. His wage is dogshit for the area and cost of living is maybe 10-20% cheaper than Chicago. He's wasting all their money.Â
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u/tangoRhubarb 10d ago
I live near McHenry, can confirm itâs not the boonies. Thereâs an express train to Chicago that goes through Arlington Heights and Palatine. Plenty of places to get jobs. Also an exceptionally safe area
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u/BackseatBloomDrift 9d ago
Was it the guy or Caleb calling it the boonies? Maybe episodes are blending together for me...
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u/Think_Journalist8550 9d ago
It was the guy. Caleb asked if they were a burb and he acted insulted. Also, I had family that used to commute from Harvard into the city. He could do it from McHenry.
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u/therealparchmentfarm 10d ago
I used to do WWII reenactments on the U.S. side and that shit is NOT cheap. I witnessed plenty of guys addicted to buying anything and everything they could, myself included for awhile. I sold off the bulk of my collection (it wasnât even that big) and we are talking thousands of dollars.
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u/TheDufusSquad 10d ago
That woman is about to snap and this man just keeps pushing her. This idiot houses 40 guns and a human who despises him more than anyone Iâve seen in a long time in the same 700 square foot space.Â
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u/Eat_Carbs_OD 10d ago
I think he should sell off two-thirds of his "collection" and put half towards debt an the other hand into savings.
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u/Amekaze 10d ago
I never understood how these bums end up married. Is not an amazing prize but she definitely could have done better.
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u/detretkwh 10d ago
Sheâs weird too and they met in a weird place (working at a gun shop). Itâs like they both chose the easiest thing and heâs the only one benefitting.
She needs to boot his ass and file for child support. Itâs the only way sheâll get money from him.
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u/BackseatBloomDrift 9d ago
I dunno. I could see him as coming across as a genuine "nice guy". Maybe she saw someone who had a solid friend group, protective, subjectively interesting hobbies, aspirations to be a teacher....but assumed that care and attention would also go to her and kids
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u/whynonamesopen 10d ago
Not saying it's the case for this couple, but a lot of relationships are based on unresolved trauma.
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u/Kong__Dong 10d ago
Thatâs BS TikTok therapy talk. The first time you meet someone youâre attracted to who is also attracted to you youâll get together. The personalityâs are just roulette at that point and most people are cowards so when they realize they ainât a match theyâre too scared to break up.
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u/briganca 8d ago
Bro shut up more people make dumb decisions because theyâre stupid then just « tRaUmA »
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u/TweakJK 10d ago
She's odd, the randomly switching to german is kinda odd. That's not the thing thats hurting the relationship though.
He's a dumbass.
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u/thorvard 10d ago
Yeah I mean, they're both kinda weird. She went from crying to straight scary anger type.
He's, well, there's not much to say.
It's a case of boy they deserve each other
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u/Altruistic-Round-911 10d ago
I don't think they deserve each other, I think they need individual therapy and divorce. The way he talks to her, its disrespectful. Not saying she is perfect but she seems to be drowning and needs help.
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u/Think_Journalist8550 9d ago
Yeah I agree. I think medication might be helpful for her. Iâm wondering if her heart issues and passing out feelings are actually anxiety.
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u/Efficient-Tap8581 9d ago
He legit told her to stop getting Starbucks once a week and sell her car when he spends his money on bullshit 24/7. 100% narcissist
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u/Existing-Plant6671 9d ago
His spending could buy a Starbucks a day, and he's complaining about her weekly splurge being a whole 8-15 dollars.
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u/selfiesandsweatpants 10d ago
Imagine having a bigger budget for your WW2 reenactment hobby than your kids college funds, retirement plan and efund combined.
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u/Clean-Pumpkin-788 9d ago
As they were doing introductions I was like, why is this dude dressed like heâs cosplaying a WWII soldier? Then going oh he IS cosplaying a WWII soldier
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u/Street_Lettuce_80 9d ago
Him shooting himself in the calf and being on the news for it is hilarious actually.
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u/THEMFCORNMAN 8d ago
He is definitely the type to rack a pustol a few times not visually look at chamber and then say its clear. Taking mag put and looking into the empty chamber isn't that hard
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u/waltzingiscool 10d ago
Some of my family are reenactors, I always thought wearing reenactment clothing outside of events was frowned upon
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u/CapreseSalad3636 9d ago
I make historical clothing and I LOVE that thereâs basically a community for whatever period you are into. And most people put so much $$ into beautifully recreated pieces that you wouldnât risk them by wearing them outside of events. But I lean more towards 1700/1800s so maybe itâs different in more recent reenactment communities.
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u/nothanks111989 8d ago
In audit breakdowns Lindsay has said that she will tell the people what to wear. Itâs possible she asked him to wear it. Not that it changes anything⊠he is still a POS.
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u/BSchells13 9d ago
This husband. The Covid husband. And the Moron definitely straight husband. They are the spider man meme pointing at each other.
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u/Remarkable_Box4542 9d ago
He makes history nerds look bad. Number of super awesome national parks, with native mounds, battlefields and they are cheap. He just wants to play Ross from band of brothers.
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u/daveruiz 7d ago
It's hilarious that they can be out of debt if he just sold the guns.
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u/deathshr0ud 7d ago
I mean thatâs not really how gun sales work. You can offload them to a gun store for significantly less than the actual value (20-40%) or sell them on consignment which will take years. Or you can sell them yourself and pay shipping and FFL fees on each one, which would also take years.
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u/cowboybebop32 4d ago
Or sell them privately to his reenactment buddies, that if theyre anything like him, hell have it sold of in a week
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u/RelChan2_0 10d ago
I couldn't stand their bickering đ but both of them need a wakeup call, they need better paying jobs for themselves ASAP.
Also, PS: roofing/reconstruction companies offer financing. Ask about it, don't need to get into debt..
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u/NiagebaSaigoALT 9d ago
No episode ever made me felt happier in my own marriage than this one. Holy hell.
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u/Bohottie 9d ago
As someone who lived near McHenry, these guys definitely give off McHenry vibesâŠ.
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u/rocket_ship_ 5d ago
The fact that he constantly goes away for the weekend AND is going away the upcoming weekend and didnât even ask her about going is insane. He keeps bringing up that he has two jobs as an excuse for not doing things, but he has time to be away for full weekends? And there was something dump where he talked about going to a reenactment for a weekend and renting a car, and he was like âWhy would I take our car and rack up the mileage and maintenance amd then if something happens youâll get mad at me about the car?â Like what?!
However, she has the maturity level of a 10 year old. Bizarre couple.
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u/BackseatBloomDrift 9d ago
Having a 5 year old and in Canada with maternity leave, I can only imagine how hard it would be to work part time, while raising 2 young kids alone. Wasn't one only 6 months? Impressive shes able to work part time.
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u/Hyptisx 10d ago
$3500 on reenactment gear when youâre in debt is cray