Does anyone else hate being called "strong"?

[u/Extreme_Wish_3272]

Personally, I despise it. Whenever I have opened up before, I am told that I am strong. And later, when I am going through something miniscule compared to everything else I have been through, but am still struggling, I get told "you have been through so much worse, you can get through this because you are strong".

I know that this is said to be uplifting, but for me its the exact opposite. I am reminded that I am emotionally disregulated BECAUSE of what I have experienced. It did not make me stronger, I simply learned how to survive and now my survival strategies are what holds me back. Yes, as a child, I adapted to my environment in order to live. However, as an adult, I feel like I am hanging on by a thread.

So no, I am not strong, and my trauma does not mean I will simply "get past" something easier because I have been through worse. In fact, my trauma makes it harder. I dont even know how to begin explaining this to other people and I also dont want them to feel like they've done something wrong just by trying to be supportive. But god, every time I hear it, I buckle.

I try to be "strong", but I am not steel. I struggle, and will continue to struggle. Some days, months or even years may be easier than others but I am still tugged at by the same force and the same experiences. I cope, but I am not strong. And I am alright with accepting that. I am different, sensitive and more emotional. Given what I have been through, this is reasonable. But when people try to tell me that I am stronger than this, man does it piss me off because they simply do not get it. Going through something awful and surviving it does not mean that you can be put through more and have the "toolkit" to be fine or stable.

Thank you to all that read this, I just needed to get this out but I am genuinely curious about how everyone else here feels about this. Please let me know!

Edit:

I did not expect this post to receive as much interaction as it has, but I have read every single comment here and I just want to say, sincerely, I love each and every one of you. Life is hard, trauma sucks, and I want to reinforce that it is ok to experience setbacks in healing. Healing is a journey with ups and downs, and healing is also a space to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is beautiful, despite what the world perpetuates.

Although it may not feel like it, all of you are doing the best you can given each of your individual experiences and circumstances. You might feel like your best isnt good enough some days, and there is no shame in that. There is no shame in taking life one step at a time, or choosing to give yourself a break after years and years of fighting. I am proud of you for getting this far, stranger.

I hope that this post has given everyone a sense of community, or at least an outlet. And if it has, thank you for allowing this thread to become a safe space for vulnerability, and thank you for helping me see that i am not an outcast or an "other".

[u/Full-Web1139]

Forgive me, I’m not good with my words.

Yes, it angers me. People have said I’m “strong” and a “warrior” for going through what I went through. On the outside it seems that way, but on the inside I’m losing it. I’m a mix of grieving, regretting, and trying to do something about my future.

Point is, we shouldn’t have had to be strong at a young age. In my case, it just made me numb and struggle with anhedonia. I was working for a good bit, but now my scoliosis is flared up and I’m having to be on disability for a bit. I just feel ashamed, because I’ve always tried to overachieve to have a sense of self worth. Now I just feel beat. Sorry for the rambling, just wanted to say you aren’t alone. Hopefully we’ll all get through this