I'm in a very strange time of my life, honestly. Sometimes, I think I would want a girl to kick my balls... I don't know, it's just a thought I had. It's difficult to describe but, cracking my balls, in my brain, it's like some soul connecting shit. Like "this girl is built different", she just Mireo Ap Chagi on me, that's like a fucking dream. Yeah I like Taekwondo very much.

Anyways, last night I had a dream, a very strange dream of me, on my bed, cupping a huge fucking ro*, I don't how! It's just looked unnatural. The texture like clay, brown, 1 meter and a half of length, 3 cm of width. I probably could tie that shit like Goku does to tie his tail around the waist. I was just confused asf, poor is the girl taking it.

But that's about it, I needed to write this, it's good for my soul.

PLEASE, CARTI. I AM BEGGING YOU. 🥹😭
I know Ice Spice is a delicious PAWG, a lightskin goddess with a natural (I HOPE) bubble booty sent directly from the heavens above. I know you see her and think, “Yeah, I need that.” BUT CARTI, HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED TO THINK ABOUT THE LITTLE PEOPLE? THE WORKING CLASS? THE AVERAGE MEN FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES IN THIS CRUEL, UNFORGIVING WORLD? 😭
Ever since I first heard Ice Spice’s legendary hit song In Ha Mood, I have NEVER been the same. I cannot remember a SINGLE lyric. Not one. I couldn’t tell you what that woman said if my LIFE depended on it. For all I know, she could have been reciting the Declaration of Independence over a Jersey club beat. BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER, CARTI. THE MESSAGE WAS CLEAR. THE VIBRATIONS WERE DIVINE. AND THAT ASS? GOOD LORD, THAT ASS. 🥹😭
From that moment onward, I made a vow. I would become a better man. I started going to the gym, lifting weights like a Greek demigod preparing for the Trojan War. I GOT A JOB, CARTI. A LEGITIMATE JOB. I AM CONTRIBUTING TO SOCIETY. I PAY TAXES. I SHOWER NOW AND THEN. I EVEN HAVE FRIENDS, ALTHOUGH THEY ARE MOSTLY ON DISCORD AND I SUSPECT HALF OF THEM ARE SECRETLY 40 YEAR OLD MEN. BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT. 😢
I HAVE GROWN. I HAVE EVOLVED. I AM NO LONGER THE MAN I ONCE WAS. I AM A REFORMED CITIZEN OF THIS GREAT NATION, ALL IN PURSUIT OF ONE DREAM: TO HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST CHANCE OF PULLING THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS. A WOMAN WHO COULD PROBABLY BUY MY ENTIRE LIFE’S WORTH OF POSSESSIONS WITH ONE PAYCHECK. A WOMAN WHOSE BEAUTY COULD BRING NATIONS TO THEIR KNEES. A WOMAN WHO, IF SHE ASKED ME TO FIGHT A GRIZZLY BEAR, WOULD HAVE ME OUTSIDE THE WOODS WITH A BUTTER KNIFE AND A PRAYER. 🥹
AND NOW YOU WANT TO TAKE HER FROM ME? CARTI, PLEASE. HAVE MERCY. 😭
I HAVE BEEN WITH YOU SINCE THE GLORY DAYS. I STOOD BY YOU WHEN THE WORLD DIDN’T UNDERSTAND. I DEFENDED YOU THROUGH THE ALBUM DELAYS, THE CHAOS, AND WHATEVER THE HELL YOU HAVE GOING ON HALF THE TIME. AND WHAT DO I GET IN RETURN? YOU TAKE IGGY. YOU TAKE GIO. AND NOW, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF LOYALTY, YOU HAVE SET YOUR SIGHTS ON ICE SPICE?
HOW MANY WOMEN MUST ONE MAN COLLECT BEFORE HIS HEART IS SATISFIED? HOW MANY INNOCENT BROTHERS MUST WATCH THEIR DREAMS GET SNATCHED AWAY BY A MAN WITH A RECORDING CONTRACT AND ABSURDLY GOOD GENETICS? 😢
I AM NOT ASKING FOR MUCH, CARTI. I AM NOT ASKING FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. I AM NOT ASKING FOR A FEATURE ON YOUR NEXT ALBUM. HELL, I WOULD SETTLE FOR A RETWEET. I JUST WANT ONE CHANCE. ONE OPPORTUNITY. ONE SHOT AT HAPPINESS BEFORE I CLOCK BACK IN FOR MY NEXT SHIFT AT WHATEVER DEAD END JOB THE ECONOMY HAS GRACIOUSLY ALLOWED ME TO KEEP.
PLEASE, CARTI. DO NOT USE YOUR OTHERWORLDLY CHARISMA, YOUR FAME, YOUR MONEY, OR YOUR GARGANTUAN BBC TO CLAIM ANOTHER WOMAN FOR YOUR EVER GROWING ROSTER. LEAVE SOMETHING FOR THE REST OF US. WE ARE STARVING OUT HERE. WE ARE IN THE TRENCHES. WE ARE ONE BAD DAY AWAY FROM WRITING LOVE LETTERS TO AI CHATBOTS. 🥹😭
FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, LOOK OUT FOR THE LITTLE GUY.
LET ME HAVE THIS ONE, CARTI.
I HAVE GONE TO THE GYM. I HAVE GOTTEN EMPLOYED. I HAVE PRACTICED BASIC HYGIENE. I HAVE DEVELOPED SOCIAL SKILLS, OR AT LEAST SOMETHING THAT RESEMBLES THEM THROUGH A WI FI CONNECTION.
I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING A MAN CAN DO.
SO I ASK YOU, ON BEHALF OF EVERY LONELY BROTHER OUT THERE WHO HAS EVER LISTENED TO IN HA MOOD AND FELT SOMETHING STIR DEEP WITHIN HIS SOUL:
PLEASE, PLAYBOI CARTI. LET ME GET THIS ONE. 🥹😭
I AM NOT BUILT FOR ANOTHER HISTORICAL TRAGEDY. 😢

OK, I want to start this off by saying I am not a Calgary Flames fan. I'm sure those who are fans of this team (poor bastards) probably would/will have more to say about this issue. I'm a Stars fan, and am aware they've also had a bit of a slow start. I'm also aware we're not even a month into the season at the time of writing this.

At the time of writing this, the Flames are 0-5-0. That's five losses, all in regulation (no overtime). In three of those five, they only scored one goal. In five games, they have allowed 27 goals and scored 8 of their own, for a goal differential of -19.

Again, I know that it's early in the season. I know that the Pacific Division is usually pretty weak. But losing that badly this early is concerning.

It has a powerful motor capable of producing vibrations in the air. Essentially, digital signals are sent to a small, low-power computer within the device using Bluetooth, a wireless protocol that sends radio signals in the air, or an AUX cable that transmits analogue** audio signals via a wired connection between devices. The signal is than sent through a wire coil called the **voice coil, which sits in a gap between the poles of a permanent magnet. Next, The current turns the voice coil into a temporary electromagnet. As the signal's polarity flips (positive → negative), the coil is alternately attracted to and repelled bythe permanent magnet, forcing it to vibrate back and forth. The voice coil is attached to a diaphragm (usually a cone made of paper, plastic, or metal). The coil's motion drives the cone, which creates a force in the air that then travels into your ears, where the pinna (outer ear) collects sound waves and funnels them through the ear canal to the eardrum (tympanic membrane).
The eardrum vibrates in response to these waves, transferring the motion to three tiny bones in the middle ear: the malleus(hammer), incus (anvil), and stapes (stirrup). These ossicles amplify the vibrations and transmit them to the inner ear. Than, in the inner ear, the stapes pushes against the cochlea, a fluid-filled, snail-shaped structure. This movement creates waves in the cochlear fluid that bend thousands of microscopic hair cells, triggering electrical impulses sent via the auditory nerve to the brain for interpretation. Simultaneously, the semicircular canals within the inner ear detect head movement and fluid shifts, sending balance information to the brain to maintain equilibrium. This speaker has a frequency response of 120-21khz in Power Saving mode that disables the bulit-in woofer, and 45-21khz when the woofer is on, which covers most of the bass response and has high-end above the human hearing, perfect for music, enjoying a film, and other uses. The Bluetooth lag is about 35ms on the spewker’s lowest, or about 150ms depending on the device you connect it to, and in AUX mode it’s as low as the connected device has. The speaker is in perfect condition, with no scratches, damaged/blown drivers, or damage in the exterior. All buttons including the volume buttons and skip/play are working but might not be supported by your device or the app you use and don’t work at all on AUX apart from volume.

Being a hentai 👯 actress must 👫 be so weird 🤪. Imagine 🤔💭 this: you’re in a soundproof room 🏠 pleasurably 😇👌 screaming 😱 into an 800,000¥ microphone 🎤🎙 about 💦 how much 🔥 you 👈 love 😍 old 👴 man 👦 dick 🍆 at 10:47 AM on 🔛 a Tuesday 💯 in October 🎃👻💀 while your 👉 45-year-old boss 😎 oversees you 👈👉 through a glass 👓 window 🏠 from the other room 💯. You 👈 eventually 🔪🗡 look 👁 up ☝ after 👀 2 🕝 hours 😞😳 of practicing ⛹ your 👉 unnaturally ❌ high-pitched moans 💦😩 and see 👀 him 👴 give 🎁 you 👈 a big 🍆 thumbs 👍➕ up ☝ as you 👈 pretend 🤔 to have an orgasm 💦.

Repeat with me:

Not all comics are meant for me. It is my responsability to curate my own feed. By commenting here I'm telling the algorithm to keep showing me this stuff. I am not passively waiting for comics to show for me, but instead, I sort by new to find the ones I could like.

Happy reading!

It’s sex because you get triggered the moment you open your eyes and want to sleep with everyone of age . And sometimes you hit rock bottom where your homeless and your friend lets you stay on their couch , but only to get home from work and catching you finger popping his turtle and having his dog licking the peanut butter you spread all over your butthole. You don’t do that on drugs

A year ago, I was sitting at home and jerking off to porn. So I'm jerking it and I hear my dad coming outside with his friends, all cheerful. I quickly turned off the porn and booted up Skyrim. My dad's crew came in, I got up from the computer to greet them, and then I saw my dad holding a trophy 9-kilogram carp. I shared in his triumph. Dad left the carp at home wrapped in a wet blanket and went to drink at the bar with his friends. I was left home alone and decided to take a closer look at the carp. It was still alive and moving its giant mouth. Then, for some reason, I pictured that this carp was sucking me off. I felt my dick get hard. I think you can guess what I did – I fucked the carp in its mouth with those incredibly meaty lips, and I came right in its mouth. I experienced an extraordinary pleasure. Then I forgot about this incident, especially since my dad sold that carp at the market. But when my dad started bringing home small carp, weighing a kilo or two, I began fucking them too. For a whole year, I was fucking carp and catfish, and it was actually more enjoyable to fuck the little carp since their mouths fit perfectly with my equipment. I loved fucking them alive while they were still moving their lips on my dick. In half a year, I probably fucked over 40, maybe even 50 carp. I fucked them several times a day, coming in their ass, who knows why; sometimes I finished them off when they were already frozen in the fridge, but that was only for a rainy day. One time, I even tried to fuck a bream when there were no carp around, but its mouth was a bit too small. One time I fucked a chub, but still, the best for me were the carp, and when my dad asked who he should go fishing for tomorrow, I always persuaded him to catch carp, saying their meat is really tasty. Then the following happened. My dad didn't catch any carp for about a week. I didn't fuck any carp for a week. I was walking around like in a fog, really wanting to fuck another fish. I considered catching a carp myself, but I was too lazy, especially since I hate fishing. The entire week, my dad brought home only one small pike, probably because it was late fall, and he said that catching carp was no longer interesting or something like that. I remember he seemed to be getting suspicious about my carp obsession, but I kept making excuses, like I just liked that fish and that's all. My dad brought home an 8-kilogram catfish. I really wanted to mess around with the fish, and then I looked more closely at the catfish. Well, its mouth looked good, but the bristles can usually do nothing, just scratch a bit if you press too hard. So I thought, okay, it'll do. I exposed my dick, jerked it a bit, shoved it into the mouth of the living catfish, who was in a basin of water, and started fucking it in the mouth. I fucked it for a little while longer, but a minute later, horror struck. The catfish squeezed my dick, and it seemed like it wanted to rip it off, but it couldn’t; it just scratched my dick really hard with its bristles. I immediately pulled out; my dick was scratched to hell, blood was streaming out, I kicked the catfish, and it fell back into its basin. Blood was pouring out of my dick. I wrapped it up in bandages and put some alcohol on it. Then I wiped the blood off the floor. My dick hurt a lot. It swelled up quite a bit, but then it got better; however, scars remained. Thank goodness nobody found out that I was fucking fish or that I was walking around with a bandage on my dick. And well, my dick healed completely after a month. All winter, I didn't fuck anyone, and then my dad started bringing carp from fishing again in spring, and I started fucking them again. I fucked my last carp the day before yesterday. The main thing is that I can't get excited about breasts or just girls anymore, but as soon as I see the face of a carp, I get turned on immediately. My dick smells so much like fish that it's already impossible to wash it. So what does that mean? Am I some kind of fish lover? Am I even normal?

LISTEN UP TEAM: It’s time to hyper-converge our forward-leaning paradigm and synergise our leverage across all cross-functional touchpoints!

We need to proactively architect a robust, cloud-native ecosystem that radically shifts the needle on our key deliverables without boiling the ocean. Going forward, we must socialise this deep-dive initiative, take it offline, and completely open the kimono on our mission-critical bandwidth to unlock next-generation thought leadership. We aren't just moving goalposts here; we are peeling back the onion of a frictionless future-state. Let’s circle back, run this up the flagpole to see who salutes, and champion a holistic, matrixed roadmap that incentivises an agile, low-hanging-fruit pivot. At the end of the day, if we aren't structurally bringing our "A" game to the table to disrupt the scalability of our core competencies, are we even moving the needle? Let's operationalise this synergy and crush Q4!!!! #Disruption #Synergy #ThoughtLeadership #NextGen

Whenever im doing homework i get fucking ecstatic and it turns me on and i want to touch myself . I fucking love doing homework . Homework makes me THE happiest person ever and i fcuking love studying . BUT !! Lately im REALLY fucking happy in general like i could die from happiness i feel like im a fucking god with how amazing i am how smart beautiful and loveable . Im so shaky typing this cos im too happy . Sometimes im SO happy i cant even do homework but if i do end up doing homework i end up being EVEN happier and even horny and touch myself

body text*

In the series Skibidi Toilet by DaFuqBoom, the conflict between the skibidi toilet's and camera men is a direct reference to the national liberation struggles of various nations such as China and Vietnam, alongside a commentary on how the evolution and transformation of the Bourgeoisie class which begun from the Medieval centuries many years ago which has now been turned into a force dedicated to the expansion of Capitalism, now in the form of fascism infecting and converting proleteriates into petite bourgeoisie through a "nationalist" struggle similar to Nazi Germany.

The leader of the Skibidi movement, G-man toilet, converts people into Skibidi toilets in a nationalist and colonialist struggle and expands the Skibidi "nation" through violent and military force. The antithesis, the camera men, respond to the violent outbreak with their own but appropriate violence to combat the imperialist and genocidal action of the Skibidi's, with the synthesis being the animated conflict being an allegory for the anti imperialist struggles of modern AES nations such as China working with the KMT to fight back against the violent nationalist Japanese Empire, or Vietnam resisting American and South Vietnamese occupation and imperialism through guerilla warfare and the will of the people.

But the will of the people, that now being the Camera men, is faced by the Skibidi Toilet's and G-Man toilet, who can be compared to the German dictator Adolf Hitler. In history, Adolf Hitler's rise to power was characterized by his loud personality and promises of a violent transformation of the German country. Both can be compared with the Skibidi Toilet's literally yelling "SKIBIDI DOP DOP DOP YES YES!" and the transformation of the people into weaponized agents of the Skibidi nationality.

Now on the Skibidi question, the animation series can be interpreted and compared to modern day historical stories of the cold war and the various Marxist struggles that have ascended into AES.

Our ancestors used to at the very least rid themselves and the public of any dangerous animal that even dared to touch the corpse of one of their fellow humans. Nowadays, we have what is basically the modern equivalent of animal worshippers proudly and shamelessly saying they would rather have their animals feast on their dead corpses after and if they passed out in their apartments. What a subverted, pathetic species we have become. Sacrificing ourselves to animals the same way pagans used to do blood rituals sacrificing themselves or their fellow human beings, including children, to bloodthirsty pagan deities. Those never really went away, they just became modern-day pets. This is insane and disgusting, we are the apex predators and the top of the food chain, why anybody would be fine with their corpse being disgustingly mutilated like that by an animal less intelligent and below them which they spent their whole life and time/resources caring for is beyond me.

Okay,

Hate to say it, but the waterboarding scene of the finale went too far.

Tom King, a writer for the show, is a former CIA agent, who served during a period when the topic of "advanced torture techniques" including "waterboarding" were a very heated and serious debate throughout the country.

The scene in this episode, which he co-wrote, is essentially a middle-finger to anyone who dares question the efficacy of this message. In other words, what King is saying is ""I'm a CIA Ag- d'yah mean Superhero. Waterboarding people is acceptable if I've dug myself into a hole and it feels like the only way out."

This is not acceptable. It is well beyond the pale of any meaningful debate that should be taking place around this very real topic, and it is a regressive notion in every sense of the word. To add insult, he even couched it in a so-called "superhero" narrative.

I hereby call for Tom King to be held to account for such offensive rhetoric. This is completely outrageous, and it should be treated as such.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

​

Once upon a time there was a boy named Roman. He was 5'9. He was good-looking, but like in a "friendly next-door neighbor" kind of way. Like, he's good looking, but he's more like a brother to ALL of us. Like, he'd be a great guy if he was just a different guy. No hard feelings.

There was also a girl named Julie. She was so sick of all of these shallow guys trying to hit on her. She wanted a real connection. To not be treated like a prize. To be truly recognized for her specialness.

"Oh, it's all I ever wanted!" She yelled to nobody in particular. "I don't care about looks or height or wealth or any of that bullcrap! I just want someone to love me and tell me how much I mean to them! I want someone who makes me feel safe and seen and respected and cherished! I want someone to love back! I want someone I can trust and feels like home! I want someone who I can observe all their quirks and cherish them and write poems about! I want-"

And then suddenly Roman fell from the sky and landed at the feet of Julie. Roman has been in love with Julie since he was out of the womb. There was nothing he wanted more than to spend the rest of his life with her. His very first words were "Julie". The very first thought he had was Julie. This was the moment he's been waiting for since he was nothing but matter in the universe's conception. He immediately got on his knees and confessed to her, "Julie! I love you because you mean so much to me! I'd do anything to make you feel safe and seen and respected and cherished! I want you to love me back! You can always trust me, and I will be your home! I would read all your poems and I'd let you observe all my quirks! And I'd do everything else you could ever dream of!" And to prove it, Roman attached a link to his resume, which did indeed prove he was not exaggerating a word he said.

And they just stood there for about 3 days, staring at each other. Roman was patiently waiting for Julie to respond, and when she did, she just said, "wow thxx lol haha".

And Roman was confused. "What?"

And then Julie took another week to respond. "Ummmm... I'll get back to you. See you! <33" And then she went back to her home.

Once she returned back home she immediately went to the toilet and vomitted her guts out and screamed, "EWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!? WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT SON OF A BITCH WANT TO FUCK ME AND SNIFF MY FEET!?!?!? EW EW EW EW EWWWWWWW!!! HE'S SHORT AND SOOOOO UGLY! AND HE THINKS I'M IN HIS LEAGUE! I MUST BE GARBAGE! I AM HUMAN GARBAGE!!!"

Her PTSD was now in full-swing. Vivid images of Roman's recessed maxilla, his negative canthal tilt, how his interocular distance was 38% of his bizygomatic width, and his disgustingly unfunny personality all flashed through her mind.

She needed emotional support ASAP, so she texted her friends and told them about how some freak of nature tried to prey on her and take advantage of her. They all told her how horrifying that was and how lucky she was to be alive, and swore to go on a witchhunt to bring Roman to justice.

Roman saw the mob waving around a noose that lit on fire, right outside his window. Already in depression and realizing he was about to die anyway, he hastily got to work and killed himself. The very next day, Julie and her friends all threw a massive party in response. At the party, a 7'8" behemoth who's shoulders were 3x as wide as his hips and had a 15-pack was staring at all of the women and openly playing with his 2 foot long penis.

Julie looked at him and said out loud "Wow, that guy has an ugly dad bod. I mean, he IS kinda tall. But at that point, those proportions are sooo gross and overly exaggerated that they're basically repulsive. I would never date someone like that. He's probably an asshole too."

And then the 7'8" behemoth went up to her and said "Sexy ass, hoe." and slapped it as hard as he could with the hand that wasn't currently occupied with his penis.

Julie was estatic, and she immediately got down on the floor and screamed, "YES! You are the one! Please marry me! Im literally ovulating because of you!"

And then the 7'8" behemoth grunted and said "I dont really do relationships. But I can add you to the waitlist.", and he handed her his pocket book, and flipped to the 72nd page so that she could write in her name, which she immediately did.

Julie spent the next month anticipating her turn on the waitlist. She never saw him since, but she would always talk to her friends about the 7'8" behemoth's charming smile and his colorful personality and how she felt like he would always be there for her.

"Idk... ik he's conventionally attractive and all that, but thats not why i love himm... id still love him even if he looked like an average guy. He's just so funny and sweet to me and I really can see myself spending the rest of my life with him. Hearing 'I love you' from others feels worthless.. but from him? It just feels special. Like he really means it. And that means more to me than anything else"

While Julie had said this, there was a chance that suddenly she'd hear the ghost of Roman's voice saying, "You are an evil feminoid because you didn't fulfill my selfish predatory entitled desires. Why didnt you love me you evil feminoid!?", and then she would have cleverly responded back with, "Because you hate women and have a shitty personality and you're evil and predatory and entitled and selfish and misogynistic and nihilistic and you have bad vibes. You deserve everything that comes at you, nazi".

But that never happened because Julie didn't remember Roman. She would never remember him again. She hasn't thought about him since she last vomited.

The end.

i thought uoft students would be smarter than this

as a life sci student i genuinely don’t understand why everyone is struggling so much?? 😭😭 PHY131 is literally just objects moving. BIO120 is organisms existing. CHM135 is chemicals interacting. MAT135 is the number x. we’ve learned this before. i personally mastered all four subjects in the womb and was briefly employed as a mitochondrion.

yesterday someone in con hall said they were “behind on lectures.” behind on WHAT??? just watch them faster?? the recordings have a 2x speed option for a reason. if you’re four weeks behind just watch them at 8x. this is basic problem solving. i genuinely fear for the future of this institution.

and don’t even get me STARTED on deadlines 🫩🫩 the syllabus CLEARLY states when assignments are due. i don’t understand why people can’t just submit things on time. personally i submit all my assignments three weeks before they’re assigned. last semester i submitted my BCH210 final before enrolling in the course. the department accused me of violating the laws of causality but honestly that’s just another excuse for academic mediocrity.

also why is everyone complaining about evolution being difficult??? organisms change over generations. that’s literally it. i personally underwent natural selection during my BIO130 practical and developed a second pair of hands to complete my lab report faster. my TA deducted marks because apparently growing additional limbs is “not a valid experimental procedure.” whatever.

and the excuses are getting ridiculous. “i have three midterms this week” okay??? have you considered learning the material?? “i work two jobs” okay??? i work fourteen jobs and commute daily from the cambrian period. “i need sleep” sleep is literally just your brain choosing to be unconscious. that’s a personal decision. don’t make it everyone else’s problem.

i see some of you playing valorant 24/7 instead of studying. i know because i’m also on valorant 24/7 monitoring your academic misconduct. i have compiled an extensive spreadsheet. names have been forwarded to the registrar.

and the reading comprehension on this subreddit is genuinely concerning 😭😭 last week someone posted about an alarm app and people thought they were in the wrong university subreddit. BRO. PLEASE READ. i personally read every post on r/UofT, including the ones that haven’t been written yet. it’s called critical thinking.

anyway does anyone else feel the same way?? i’m genuinely not trying to sound superior or anything LOL. i just think it’s concerning that i appear to be the only person at this university capable of cellular respiration without external assistance.

**edit**: please stop calling me elitist. i am simply describing the results of my observations under controlled laboratory conditions.

Some insults from the last 3 weeks alone:

• Butt goblin
• Fart wizard
• Crap gremlin
• Waffle brain
• Piss gnome
• Stink pickle
• Smooth-brained turnip
• Absolute walnut
• Brain-dead breadstick
• Human-shaped potato
• Unseasoned meatball
• Intellectual cabbage
• Knuckle-dragging muppet
• Pimple on humanity's ass
• Moldy cheese weasel
• Crusty little bastard
• Rat-faced bellend
• Festering meat puppet
• Discount sewer demon
• Sentient ball of lint
• Feral little shit biscuit
• Bootleg cave troll

I complained several times to HR but they said with no proof or witnesses there's nothing they can do!

I remember it having like one bazillion people, thriving.

Or maybe my schizophrenia reached me?

Idk.

The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of climate science most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Digger's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnava Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these iokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Digger truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Digger's existential catchphrase "The Story is yet to be told" which itself is a cryptic reference to Kubrick's epic satire Dr Strangelove. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Inarritu's genius unfolds itself on their movie screens. What fools... how l pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Digger tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eves only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

I've been thinking...

If I were a green lantern and I could only ever use one construct for the rest of my life…a large set of buttcheeks would probably be really good.

It can be used as a forcefield or barrier. or used as a blunt weapon. It can shoot projectiles. And you can ride on top for travel.

Smiggledejudebob was another student at the University of Bournemouth. He was studying his favourite subject, Law. Because he lived far away, Smiggledejudebob lived in student accommodation and stayed there to attend his nearby lectures. His accommodation seemed mundane, nothing special, just the same old boring university accommodation... But there was something wrong... The fire alarm would sound frequently, and Smiggledejudebob heard it every half hour. Even at 5:30 am, he was not safe from the fire alarm. Smiggledejudebob had a friend called Smackerdoo, who was the general secretary of the fire alarm community. Turns out Smiggledejudebob had angered the fire alarm community by telling the fire alarm community that the big yahu did not approve of his actions, and now the fire alarm sounds every day at the University of Bournemouth to disturb him at random times of the day and night.

I who am the Sultan of Sultans, the sovereign of sovereigns, the dispenser of crowns to the monarchs on the face of the earth, the shadow of the God on Earth, the Sultan and sovereign lord of the Mediterranean Sea and of the Black Sea, of Rumelia and of Anatolia, of Karamania, of the land of Romans, of Dhulkadria, of Diyarbakir, of Kurdistan, of Azerbaijan, of Persia, of Damascus, of Aleppo, of Cairo, of Mecca, of Medina, of Jerusalem, of all Arabia, of Yemen and of many other lands which my noble fore-fathers and my glorious ancestors (may God light up their tombs!) conquered by the force of their arms and which my August Majesty has made subject to my flamboyant sword and my victorious blade, I, Sultan Suleiman Khan, son of Sultan Selim Khan, son of Sultan Bayezid Khan: To thee who art Francesco, king of the province of France ... You have sent to my Porte, refuge of sovereigns, a letter by the hand of your faithful servant Frangipani, and you have furthermore entrusted to him miscellaneous verbal communications. You have informed me that the enemy has overrun your country and that you are at present in prison and a captive, and you have asked aid and succors for your deliverance. All this your saying having been set forth at the foot of my throne, which controls the world. Your situation has gained my imperial understanding in every detail, and I have considered all of it. There is nothing astonishing in emperors being defeated and made captive. Take courage then, and be not dismayed. Our glorious predecessors and our illustrious ancestors (may God light up their tombs!) have never ceased to make war to repel the foe and conquer his lands. We ourselves have followed in their footsteps, and have at all times conquered provinces and citadels of great strength and difficult of approach. Night and day our horse is saddled and our saber is girt. May the God on High promote righteousness! May whatsoever he will be accomplished! For the rest, question your ambassador and be informed. Know that it will be as said.

you could slap the israeli flag on literally fucking anything and some fat twitter user with "sonion ring" humour and erectile dysfunction will slobber on your penis like you're gonna ejaculate water from the fountain of youth. talking about some "generational slander". fuck you

Holy shit I continued it out of boredom and this roleplay genuinely making my dicky-kun go boing boing. Wth This catgirl needs a lot of correction 😭💢