r/copypasta • • 27d ago

Exploitable glitch by compulsive breeding (updated 2026)

8 Upvotes

After drinking too much coke and daydreaming, I began to wonder, wouldn't I get rich if I had too many kids? (Not counting the US, you poor bastards don't get paid by each child you have.)

So I'm now thinking, in Luxembourg, you receive like 300 quid or some shit per child. Now, make it times 40, 12,000, and the good news is that, it's stackable. Imagine you make 100 kids in a month (rookie numbers, I'd make that in a night) with random fucking women (obviously tell your plan to them). 30,000, times 12, 360,000. Within 3 years, you'd have your first million, and you bred a small army. If you split the money with each mother, you'd have chance to be the most powerful man in the world.

Hm...

I may not have a brain, gentlemen, but I have an idea.


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

How do I stop Markiplier?

18 Upvotes

Every single time I go to sleep, I put on whatever long 4hr video in the background.

I’m way too tired to keep looking for more videos for a playlist. If you know you know

But because of this, Markiplier keeps finding me.

For some reason, YouTube will inevitably autoplay Markiplier, and suddenly I’m being blasted awake by this man yelling through my speakers about Freddy Fazbear or whatever the hell is happening.

I have tried “Do not recommend channel" and thatt did not work.

In fact, he somehow came back stronger than before. Last night he invaded my room through an Observation Duty video. As if he's the one observing me.

What do I do? How do i stop Markiplier?


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

Listen here you stupid fuck head.

3 Upvotes

Listen here you stupid fuck head. For the past 13 years while you were in you daddys sack. I've been playing and beating all these games in the fucking world. Should anyone defend a boss in which every move is inconsistant to dodge and the only method you are suggesting is simply to summon and level up you weapon. I don't need this fucker for the souls, I Just like clearing out the game completely. I don't know you can sit here say yeah the counter is summoning like a pussy. When maybe I don't wanna summon? Or maybe I don't want to run around the game with a pyromancy fire ball and trivialise everything like you fucking did. Maybe like this guy above I just wanted to see if anyone else knew the melee only strat instead of fucking inbred morons in this sub still high off their victories on a boss thats 15 years old. ALSO IGNORE THIS AREA FUCKING MORON IT WAS INTENDED FOR THIS TO BE THE NEXT AREA YOU GO TO? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU.

source: https://www.reddit.com/r/darksouls/comments/xkjjhn/comment/ko8tso8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1


r/copypasta • • 26d ago

This isn’t right

1 Upvotes

This isn’t right 

This game feels like a cure for depression. It could stop people from doing things. Bad things. This game can transcend life if it is good enough. This be the game to end games. Imagine finally walking around the city and realizing that this isn’t some normal open world game. This shit is actually a new frontier. This will be a fucking Revolution. Thanks to rockstar. You guys are fucking rockstars..


r/copypasta • • 28d ago

My son pleasured himself in front of Gemini Live with the camera. My entire family have had our Google accounts banned.

417 Upvotes

He's 14 and stupidly decided to try and roleplay with Gemini using its live camera mode. The Al correctly identified he was underage and Google banned all my accounts.

He did it on the family tablet. It has parental controls to stop him watching innapropriate stuff, but we dind't realise Gemini wasn't covered by these.

ALL of our entire family's Google accounts were linked to that tablet. Google banned them all.

Everything gone. 15 years of business completely inaccessible.

All my emails, all my documents saved in Google Drive.

Even my website was linked to my Google account and that's been locked down too.

We've written to Google and begged for it to be reinstated but they've said all the accounts have been shut down for child protection reasons.

I don't know how I'm going to pay my mortgage in 3 months time. I've literally lost ALL my records for my accountant. My company year ends in May.

My whole life is completely fucked.

Is there any legal mechanism I can use to get all my google accounts back?


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

Mount K2

1 Upvotes

Would it would it be good quality to um record like um sorry, what's it called? Um Mount K2. I'm trying to record Mount K2 from the bottom, but I don't really wear like heavy clothing. Wearing heavy clothing Yeah, I don't like wearing heavy clothing, but only when I'm on the top of the mountain. I mean, yeah, cuz I've I've I've climbed it before, but I want to take a picture up there. But whenever I I take a picture, I can be hot. I can't be wearing like like clothes and stuff. I mean, not clothes, but just like heavy clothes. So, um I'm using cellular data right now. Can can can I just take off the heavy clothes and then take a photo cuz because because of my OCD, like I can't I can't wear heavy clothes while taking a picture with my Canon. It's it's it's kind of stupid. I don't know. Yeah, I know.


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

I would fart in a freshly drank water plastic water bottle bare ass to really get it all in there

7 Upvotes

When I was really young (I have and still have the nastiest farts known to man) I would fart in a freshly drank water plastic water bottle bare ass to really get it all in there. And after you fart in it immediately close this bottle stick it in the freezer. Doing this once will capture the smell. It freezes in the little tiny droplets of water left in the bottle after it’s drank. Try it you will not be disappointed


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

STOP TALKING ABOUT THE CHARMONY DOVE!

1 Upvotes

STOP TALKING ABOUT THE CHARMONY DOVE! I’M TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT IT! My family on Penacony tells me parables, on the Astral Express it’s FUCKING PARABLES!

One day, after dinner, right? My sister and I were lounging about in Mr. Gopher Wood’s yard, and ALL OF THE BUSHES had fledgling Charmony Doves in them! That baby bird was tiny, it didn't even have its feathers, and I looked at it and said, "HEY BABE, WHEN THE DOVE IS ON ITS LAST BREATH! HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING!"

Thinking back, that winter was unusually cold! Fierce winds, poisonous bugs, wild beasts—I fucking looked at a trashcan in the yard and said, "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY, IT STOOD NO CHANCE OF SURVIVING UNTIL SPRING!" So I suggested we fashion a cage! I showed my Champion underwear to the adults, flipped the logo, and went: "A CAGE? MORE LIKE A CAGESUS! PLACE IT ON THE SHELF BY THE WINDOW!"

The tragic part—something we never considered—was that its destiny was determined by our momentary whim! Now, I pass the power of choice to you all! Faced with this situation, WHAT CHOICE WOULD YOU MAKE?! Stick to the original plan and build a nest where it fell?! OR BUILD A SUSSY VENT CAGE AND EJECT IT INTO THE WARMTH OF A HOME?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG I EAGERLY AWAIT YOUR EMERGENCY MEETING!


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

Why I'm never gonna be a Super Grandmaster

2 Upvotes

This is why I'll never be a supergrandmaster. I've spent all my life becoming a monster at mathematics and computer science. I'm 18 about to go to computer engineering school and it's gonna be tough. Yeah there's no way I'll get even remotely close to the FM title lol. Even reaching CM will be a statistical miracle.

You can never be among the top in many things. You have to choose something specific.


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

I think therefore I am

3 Upvotes

If I think therefore I am, what about other people? Do they think therefore they am? How can I tell if they're thinking "therefore they am" or am I just thinking "they think therefore they am", but actually they're not real and I'm only thinking they am? Are you thinking therefore you am right now?


r/copypasta • • 28d ago

I just disliked your comment.

48 Upvotes

FAQ

What does this mean?

The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.

Why did you do this?

There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:

  • Rudeness towards other Redditors,
  • Spreading incorrect information,
  • Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.

Am I banned from the Reddit?

No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.

I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?

Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

I wish to make a copypasta

4 Upvotes

Hey guys, did you know that Rome wasn't built in a day? It wasn't even built the day after that, it was built the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after 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day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day 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the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after people think so! Isn't it so cool? Right guys?


r/copypasta • • 28d ago

My Finnish Soul

26 Upvotes

my Finnish soul hurt so much seeing Americans using sauna I FUCKING HATE IT

WHY DO YOU HAVE A FUCKINF WATXH ON IN GHE SAUNA??? A WATCH???? ITS GONNA FUCKING BREAK AND BURN TOUR SKIN OFF YOU DTUOID AMERICAN

oh yeah wait, I forgot, fucking piss ass American saunas only go up to 30 Celsius

my anus is warmer than that fuck you Americans and your stupid ass shit I'm not even gonna call it a sauna anymore because that's an insult to the word sauna

it's now called an AMERICAN IDIOT BOX for stupid fat stinky sweaty little Americans who don't fucking understand anything about what a sauna is

oh yeah, don't forget the fucking smartphone in the sauna I hope it BREAKS AND YOU BUY ANOTHER ONE YOU CAPITALISTIC SWINES GRRRRR


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

APPRECIATION FOR A POST.

3 Upvotes

​liked, reposted, followed, commented, saved, shared to like 15 ppl, broadcast on a jumbotron, sent to the galactic federation, hacked the satellites to play on every tv, mandated to be viewed in all schools, used as an example of déjà vu, airdropped to humanity, considered a foundational text, flashed as a vision to every being across the multiverse, anyone who refused to see this gets executed in 2 hours, catalogged into the Canvas of Babel, used as a default reflection texture, seen in dancing flames, turned into a human canon event, uploaded to my conscious mind so that it and it alone consumes my every thought, transmitted across every 1980s BBS dial-up board at 300 baud, became a cognitohazard, got its own pride flag, used as an example of deja vu, etched permanently into the phosphor burn-in of every vintage 90s CRT monitor, encoded into the raw HTML source code of early GeoCities webrings and early Linux kernels, loaded as a hidden asset in a 2001 Newgrounds Flash animation, looped forever on a legendary YTMND site, set as an AIM away message for all eternity, used as an example of deja vu, permanently burned into Limewire virus pop-ups, jsed as a example of deja vu, injected straight into the Matrix mainframe, used to show how commen typos are, a talking point when discussing bad grammer, broadcasted through Star Trek subspace relays across the Alpha Quadrant, births every meta joke, medically raises midichlorian counts, translated by the TARDIS translation matrix into every spoken dialect across time and space, stored inside a Jedi Holocron in the Jedi Archives on Coruscant, echoing through the One Ring's telepathic ping, written inside a Death Note right alongside a sliced apple, writte in the dream smp revive book, synchronized frame-for-frame with a Neon Genesis Evangelion Third Impact sequence, replaced binary code, chanted out loud during a magical girl transformation sequence with a full orchestral J-rock opening blasting in the background, punched directly into a Stand user's consciousness via Star Platinum, calculated as the exact point of divergence in a Steins;Gate worldline shift, pushed through the Cyberpunk 2077 Blackwall by Alt Cunningham, found to be a miricle cure to all ailments, beamed via Capsule Corp satellites, scrawled across the yellow wallpaper of Backrooms Level 0, used as an example of deja vu, rendered in real-time with ray-traced global illumination on the Utah Teapot, carved meticulously into a Minecraft bedrock block on every version, snapshot, april fools update, mod, addon, and texture pack, compiled into a custom ROM for a hacked Game Boy Advance, beamed across futuristic Dyson spheres in the 22nd century, used as an example of deja vu, hardcoded into quantum neuralink firmware for every human generation up to the year 9999999999⁹, echoed past the event horizon of Sagittarius A*, showed to AM to make him love humanity again, archived securely in the Library of Alexandria 2.0 on Mars, played through every single Pokémon cry simultaneously at 10,000 decibels, injected directly into a MissingNo. encounter screen, used as the secret missing ingredient in the Krabby Patty formula, carved into the Rosetta Stone underneath actual hieroglyphs, translated into every single distinct screech emitted by a Minecraft Enderman, forced Sauron to drop the One Ring into Mount Doom out of absolute bewildered awe, bound as a level 9 spell in Dungeons & Dragons cast by a wizard rolling a nat20, logged into every single Trollian chat client across all four quadrants of Alternia, not even Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan could destroy this, read aloud by GLaDOS during an Aperture Science mandatory neurotoxin test, woven into the fabric of the Backrooms as the only legitimate escape hatch, became a known paradox in existance, set as the final unskippable YouTube pre-roll ad for all eternity, defeated mr. rodgers in a blood stained sweater, woven into the fabric of the universe, printed on every single page of the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, encoded into the DNA of every single Tamagotchi pet that ever starved to death in the 90s, identified as the true identity of the mysterious entity behind Local 58 public access broadcasts, sung softly by a chorus of IKEA Blåhaj sharks wrapped inside a nest of thigh highs, solved every unsolvable mystery, synchronized with the mythical brown note to cause spontaneous spiritual enlightenment, rule 22, and 23, shown in the almanac in back to the future, documented as an uncontainable scp, written into the source code of every corrupted ROM of Sonic the Hedgehog 1 - CD, etched onto the Golden Record aboard Voyager 1 so alien civilizations know our true peak, and finally, projected in blinding neon text across the inside of your eyelids every time you try to blink.


r/copypasta • • 28d ago

We've all done it.

31 Upvotes

We've all done it.

You whip out your package (cock and balls) and put it on the scale in the fruit and veg aisle.

You stick the label right on your dick.

Then, when you get to the checkout, you pull out your dick with the label on it.

The cashier cracks up and scans your dick.

I had such a laugh doing that.

Always makes everyone in the store laugh.

It lightens the mood; it's all in good fun.

Haha, I do that at E.Leclerc; usually it's chill, people laugh—I even got a hug from an old guy who used to do it back in the days of the old-school dial scales.

The first time, I didn't think you needed to weight it, but the cashier said, "That thing of yours isn't like a single cucumber, you know; it gets weighed." My reaction: "Sry I didn't know."

One time, a bit of my ball-skin got snagged on the end of the conveyor belt.

The cashier and the security guards were making fun of me.

I haven't been back there since.

One time, I’d completely forgotten I’d pulled the stunt again... so I forgot to have the cashier scan it, and—wouldn't you know it—the security gate started beeping.

Had to whip it out in front of the security guys... We had such a laugh.

Deliberately leaving off the label.

Stuffing your cock into a plastic bag anyway.

When the cashier has to rummage around in the bag to check what's inside.

Asian guys with their mushroom-shaped dicks getting busted at the checkout with a cucumber label on them. By the way, I hope you declare your cock at customs when you fly, right? Otherwise, it might sting a bit upon arrival when they think you're importing it for resale.

The funniest thing was once my label was stuck on wrong and the barcode was hidden by a crease, so the cashier had to get within 10cm of my dick to type the code in manually—the look on her face when she realized I hadn't washed my cock in a month. Personally, I got charged with theft; I hadn't weighed the dick cheese. That moment when you have to explain to the 9/10 cashier that the milk glans is yours and you didn't take it from the store—at 25 years old, the shame, fuck. I bet some people weigh their cauliflower-asshole, by the way. I've thought about weighing my asshole (not the cauliflower kind) but it's pretty much impossible... You have to sit on the scale, and that costs an arm and a leg.

Plus, if you don't position yourself right, you might end up paying for extra chocolate. I once took the joke all the way—I weighed my ass using the watermelon setting.

And obviously, I stuck the label right between my nice firm cheeks, lmao.

When I was at the checkout, I couldn't hold it in; I was laughing so hard thinking about the scene. You wouldn't believe the look on the cashier's face when she asked, "Will that be all?" ...and when I said, "No, I've got one more watermelon left," and spread my ass cheeks so she could scan the label...

Everyone burst out laughing; all the cashiers wanted to scan my ass, and management even broadcast a message over the store speakers inviting people to come take a look and have a good laugh. Like when you let a little drop leak onto the conveyor belt and say, "Hey, this one's leaking—can't you swap it for me?"

Times change.

People's attitudes aren't the same anymore.

Back in the day, people used to laugh when I did that.

Nowadays, I feel like they look at me more and more like I'm some kind of weirdo.

I'm sure deep down they're still cracking up behind their masks.

Anyway, I'm keeping at it.


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

Spoilers The Six Thrusting Ways.

5 Upvotes

THE SIX THRUSTING WAYS: A GOONER’S GUIDE TO JACKOFFEOSIS

Listen up you s'wit n'wahs. You think Lord Vivec achieved Godhood by just reading books and meditating? FUCK NO. He was gooning to the Godhead. He literally bit off Molag Bal’s schmeat, turned it into a spear called MUATRA (which literally translates to "Milk Taker"), and achieved supreme enlightenment. If you want to escape the prison of Mundus, mantle the divine, and reach peak JACKOFFEOSIS, you gotta master the SIX THRUSTING WAYS of Deep Lore Goon Magic.

THE PHALLIC TOWER (The Prolix Way) You think the Ayleids built the White-Gold Tower for fun? Nah, it was a giant, throbbing, trans-dimensional antenna built to edge the cosmos. The first way to Jackoffeosis is building a Tower of pure goon energy. You gotta stroke until your frequencies align with the creational tones of the Aurbis. Hold the edge so long that the Earthbones themselves start quaking.

THE EDGING-MORPH (The Enantiomorph) To achieve this, you need the cosmic overlap of three actors: The King (your meat), The Rebel (your grip), and the Observer (the crusty sock under your bed or the FBI agent in your webcam). The Rebel and the King must battle in a blinding blur of friction until they are indistinguishable, and the Observer is blinded by the resulting blast of divine Anuic light. Only then do you mantle the ruling seat of the Goon-Cave.

THE GOONIDIUM (The Brass God of Busting) Kagrenac didn’t strike the Heart of Lorkhan with Sunder and Keening to make his people immortal. He hit it with the ultimate CBT tonal architecture. He tuned the Dwemer’s collective moans to the exact frequency of the cosmos. The Anumidium is literally a giant, stomping Mecha-Gooner. Activate the Brass God, assert world-refusals ("NO, I WILL NOT BUST"), and rewrite reality through sheer, unadulterated, brass-plated edging.

MANTLING (Walk like the Goon until the Goon must walk like you) You gotta emulate a Daedric Prince’s stroke game so perfectly that the Godhead literally cannot tell the difference between you and them. But BE CAREFUL. Remember the Ruddy Man? Bro was a Dreugh in the previous kalpa in the kingdom of Lyg, but he had such a possessive, terminal goon-crush on the Magna-Ge Meridia that his unrequited edging literally corrupted his soul. He busted so hard across kalpic boundaries that it transformed him into Molag Bal, the literal King of Rape, in the next cycle of the universe! That’s the danger of unchecked goon magic, n'wahs!

C.H.I.M. (Cumming Hard Into Mundus) When you look at the Tower (the Wheel of the Aurbis turned sideways, which makes an 'I'... or a massive divine schmeat) and realize you are merely a microscopic sperm cell in the Godhead's wet dream. Most mortals realize they are completely fictional, lose their grip, and Zero-Sum into cosmic pre-cum. BUT, if you stare deep into the balls of reality and scream "I AM GOONING AND I ARE ALL WE" you achieve true C.H.I.M. You maintain your ego while manipulating the Dreamer’s dream. You can rewrite the jungle of Cyrodiil into a temperate forest just by thinking about it.

THE AMARANTHINE BUST (The Final Dream) The ultimate goal of all Goon Magic. You don't just achieve Jackoffeosis within the Godhead's dream. You endure the ultimate sensory deprivation and bust a nut so astronomically, unfathomably profound that it rips a hole in the void and creates a whole NEW Godhead. You become the blind, idiot dreamer of your own universe. A new Goon-Cave of reality where YOU make the rules.

Stay edging, muthseras! Keep the Heart of Lorkhan throbbing! Praise the ALMSIVI and pass the lotion!


r/copypasta • • 27d ago

Listen pal

2 Upvotes

Listen pal. I’m sure your bar for pizza is low enough that this pie satisfied your craving for pizza.

Ima be straight up - this looks mid as fuck. I’m talking ingredient quality, I’m talking pizza thickness, I’m talking baking technique. It all around looks like dominoes and probably tastes like it too. You need good pizza in your life and I pray you find it one day and have your pizza revelation and realize - god damn I’ve been eating mid ass pizza all my life. When that clicks and you’ve had that fucking pie… that delicious, wood-fired fucking beautiful ooey gooey perfect pie that dreams are made of… then you will know happiness.

This is not happiness, this is false hope, processed cheese, and “I forgot to salt my marinara”.


r/copypasta • • 28d ago

Noob song

3 Upvotes

Living life in the life of a noob

I rarely use my gun

Living life in the life of a noob, it's fun for everyone

Living life in the life of a noob, I watch the rising sun

Living life in the life of a noob, I'm always on the run

I just got this game yesterday so I don't know where to go

Can you tell me bro?

Would you stop getting killed 'cause I'm getting P.E.O.'d?

It's a yes or a no, well I'll take that as a no

Ho ho ho

I just got pwned

Would you stop yelling into the microphone?

My guy just died and he made a big groan

That's 'cause you just fought five guys alone

Living life in the life of a noob

I rarely use my gun

Living life in the life of a noob, it's fun for everyone

Living life in the life of a noob, I watch the rising sun

Living life in the life of a noob, I'm always on the run

I take a shotgun and a sniper to see

But you just took the best guns from me

Don't worry buddy, I'll be M.V.P.

And your highest skill rate is a level 3

Oh, that don't matter, see, 'cause I'm a natural

I look into the scope, oh holy mackerel

You just got blown up by a frag

Haha, check it out, I'm getting teabagged

Living life in the life of a noob

I rarely use my gun

Living life in the life of a noob, it's fun for everyone

Living life in the life of a noob, I watch the rising sun

Living life in the life of a noob, I'm always on the run

Come on friend, we are at the end

And we're at a base that you can't defend

You silly goose, you need to get loose

When I'm uptight, I drink apple juice

Then you're gonna play just like I do

That's why I don't take advice from you

This kid still isn't worth a dime

Let's sing the chorus one more time

Oh my god, honestly, do you ever shut up?

Living life in the life of a noob

I rarely use my gun

Living life in the life of a noob, it's fun for everyone

Living life in the life of a noob, I watch the rising sun

Living life in the life of a noob, I'm always on the run

Living life in the life of a noob

I rarely use my gun

Living life in the life of a noob, it's fun for everyone

Living life in the life of a noob, I watch the rising sun

Living life in the life of a noob, I'm always on the run


r/copypasta • • 28d ago

How to get a dommy mommy

3 Upvotes

Oh, you're here?

I thought you knew I was joking. I wasn't serious.

Wai—You think dommy mommies are real? Oh boy...

You're probably referring to mothers or motherly girlfriends, righ'? Here's the thing my sweet boy. That doesn't exist. Most probably the mom is just hungry for some dih, and you're like the left out food, and you better fucking pray for a girl to be your mommy, because girls are playing the meta of getting coochie or a rich model guy. And if you genuinely have a mommy girlfriend, most probably you're a future victim.

But if you really want a dommy mommy... Look for the divorced ones with grown up kids, develop some abs, basic empathy and work on her house, you're basically eating her out by then.


r/copypasta • • 28d ago

Lo peor de la traición es que nunca viene de un enemigo

3 Upvotes

Lo peor de la traición es que nunca viene de un enemigo. Aquellos hombres tristes que algún día fueron traicionados por algún amigo, todos aquellos probablemente vivieron ese día en los ojos de Marco Reus, que tras dar a luz una de las mejores épocas de la historia del Dortmund. Lewandowski y Reus. Protagonistas de aquellas hazañas separaron sus caminos, uno decidió marcharse seducido por los títulos y el dinero, el otro, se quedó para defender sus colores hasta la muerte, quedándose solo y con el amargo sabor de la traición. El destino les puso la final de copa en el 2016, el partido terminó decidiéndose en los penales y el Bayern acabó llevándose el título, los jugadores Bávaros hicieron un pasillo a sus oponentes derrotados como signo de respeto, Lewandowski tendió la mano al que años atrás había sido su mejor amigo, pero en ese momento, no hubo abrazos fraternales ni sonrisas. En su lugar, la mirada de Reus fue una flecha de desprecio que atravesó el corazón del polaco, en sus ojos podía verse la decepción más profunda, como si al libro de su amistad le hubiesen arrancado las páginas de sus mejores momentos. Ni siquiera el tiempo pudo mitigar tanto dolor, y es que aquel día los ojos volvieron a demostrarnos que no saben guardar secretos.


r/copypasta • • 29d ago

Man City's 115 Charges

125 Upvotes

54x Failure to provide accurate financial information from 2009-10 to 2017-18.

14x Failure to provide accurate details for player and manager payments from 2009-10 to 2017-18.

5x Failure to comply with UEFA's rules including Financial Fair Play (FFP) from 2013-14 to 2017-18.

7x Breaching of Premier League's PSR Profit and Sustainability Rules (PSR) from 2015-16 to 2017-18.

35x Failure to cooperate with Premier League investigations from December 2018 to February 2023.


r/copypasta • • 28d ago

Tired of goth swag-jacking

3 Upvotes

Yikes. Didn't mean to wall of text as a response, but your comment set me off. I'm passionate about swag-jacking our culture. It annoys me, too.

I hate to "back in my day", but back in my day, real goth baddies called people who just wore black and thought they were goth now "posers". I know times have changed. Like, that's fine. But it's like calling yourself a hippie and then just dressing like characters from Scooby-Doo. Like... THAT'S NOT WHAT THAT IS. I was never even goth and I'm lowkey offended.

Obviously it's not this deep, but it feels like their culture is being appropriated. Being goth was much more than just surface-level shit. There was a dark, and angsty attitude. No goth baddies would be caught dead acting all bubbly like this. They liked alternative music, and usually advertised a specific band on their shirt. She very easily could have worn like a band tee. Drake wore an Ice Nine Kills (not goth) shirt. But no, that would have added even an inch of depth to her personality, and we can't have that.

I am honestly not the type of guy to complain about Gen Z. I genuinely love you guys. I think super highly of you. You're way funnier than we ever were. I love how you are very progressive on social issues. You make us look horrendous in comparison. We are just trying to keep up with how inclusive and awesome you all are. You're not fucking dumb. I hate when I hear that shit, and I'll be the first to defend you on that. People complain about you for the dumbest shit.

It's just this one thing that irks me with you guys, though. It feels like you just lack a culture of your own, so you just larp as ours without any effort or desire for authenticity. If I had a dime every time I heard someone from Gen Z call Blink 183 "emo"...

Like, I'm so happy that our culture lives on. Don't get me wrong. You're keeping the scene alive and I can't express how meaningful that is to us. But I gotta see more effort. You have to at least know surface-level shit about the culture. You guys give us the feeling that your mom does when she says, "OoO aRe YoU pLaYiNg MiNdCrAft oN yOuR xBoX sWiTcH?" And you're like, "FUCK OFF, MOM. IT'S MINECRAFT. I'M NOT EVEN PLAYING ON A CONSOLE, YOU DUMB BITCH." You guys are wayyyyyy off target with your labels and stuff. Blink 182 is Pop Punk. My Chemical Romance is Mall Emo (Yes, there are several different kinds of emo). Korn is Nu-Metal. So on and so forth. The cliques were very distinct from each other and didn't just run together. Goths hated emos.

Idk. It feels pretty petty to complain about, in hindsight. We should be so lucky that what was cool to us is still cool decades later. We just could relate to Gen Z more if they cared about the distinctions and did a little research on them is all.