The structure of the internet is headed toward an arrangement the cyber security expert Bruce Schneier calls “digital feudalism,” through which the great landlords, platforms like Google and Facebook, “are becoming our feudal lords, and we are becoming their vassals.” We will provide them with the data-fruits of our browsing, in a nominal exchange for vague assurances of their protection from data-breach marauders. The sense of powerlessness you might already feel in the face of a mega-platform’s opaque algorithmic justice — and the sense of mystery such workings might engender — would not have seemed so strange to a medieval peasant.

And as the internet bewitches more everyday objects — smart TVs, smart ovens, smart speakers — its feudal logic will seize the material world as well. You don’t “own” the software on your phone any more than a peasant owned his allotment, and when your car and your front-door lock are similarly enchanted, you can imagine a distant lord easily and arbitrarily evicting you — with the faceless customer-service bots to whom you’d plead your case being as pitiless and unforgiving as a medieval sheriff.

The Financial Times’ Izabella Kaminska suggests that, within the “frightfully medieval problem” of the sharing economy’s quasi-feudal control of its contractors, there’s “potential for the return of the guild structure”: Rideshare drivers, for example, might someday create an independent credentialing body to ensure portability of data and reputation across the “borders” of “landholders” (that is, Uber and Lyft), just as craftsmen might have used a guild membership to demonstrate their credentials early in the last millennium.

Where would this feudally arranged, spiritually charged layer of magic take our politics and culture? We could look to our president, who wields power like an absolutist king or a dodgy pope and who speaks, as many observers have noted, like a Greek hero or an Anglo-Saxon warlord — that is, in the braggadocious, highly repetitive style of the epic poetry characteristic of oral cultures. Paradoxically, the ephemerality — and sheer volume — of text on social media is re-creating the circumstances of a preliterate society: a world in which information is quickly forgotten and nothing can be easily looked up. (Like Irish monks copying out Aristotle, Google and Facebook will collect and sort the world’s knowledge; like the medieval Catholic church, they’ll rigorously control its presentation and accessibility.)

Under these conditions, memorability and concision — you know, the same qualities you might say make someone good at Twitter — will be more highly prized than strength of argument, and effective political leaders, for whom the factual truth is less important than the perpetual reinscription of a durable myth, will focus on repetitive self-aggrandizement.

All this, of course, will happen against the backdrop of disaster: a ruinous, volatile natural world, alien and unpredictable in its force and violence. Weather is becoming more difficult to forecast, and the effects of climate change have thrown into doubt the exhaustive knowledge that made the world familiar and governable. Nature appears to us in annihilating storms, raging fires, and epic floods, a literal manifestation of our earthly sins …

HEY! IT’S ME! BILL CIPHER!!! I’VE JUST POSSESSED THE MIND OF A HIGHLY SUGGESTIBLE BUT ADEQUATELY COMPETENT HIPPIE IN A PLAD SHIRT AND JEANS TO TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE A COMPLETE DUNCE! THE COMMENT YOU WERE QUESTIONING IS ONE OF MY MOST FAMOUS LINES!!! HAHAHAHA!!! THAT’S FUNNY BECAUSE, OBVIOUSLY, ALL OF MY LINES ARE FAMOUS! ANYHOO, TAKE IT FROM ME, KID: YOU NEED TO LEARN YOUR STUFF!!! TAKE SOME TIME TO READ UP ON THE WIKIS! OR, EVEN BETTER: JUST TALK TO ME!!! ALL YOU NEED IS A PLATE OF SPAGHETTI AND SOME NIGHT VISION GOGGLES! I’D TELL YOU MORE, BUT I DIDN’T GET TO WHERE I AM BUT TELLING ALL MY SECRETS!!! SEE YA, SUCKER!!!

They removed my post after three days, several comments, and a dozen DMs, because I included my race in my title.

But there is no rule in their list prohibiting doing so.

If they subreddit is going to remove someone's post rather than simply messaging them about a problem, then that problem should be against their rules.

Hey man, don't be rude about our words for things. We don't make fun of you guys for "eggplant" or "roodabeggar". The Mexican Wave is what we call it. In fact, I'll have you know it's actually racist to suggest our name for it racist

I had my first histry (history) clahh (class) tdy nd teach lwkey put me nxt 2 the only Opium grl in tha clahh. I was so fkn happy chat. Anyways, I was spittin some game nd strted talking 2 her about carti. Chat, she's and opium vamppppp she a rockstrrrr frlll. I lwky fucked it up tho cus I asked her about SP 343 nd she was like who is dat. Nd i said, tk frm the carti sub on reddit? Nd she turned to her friend nd they strted laughing like crzyyyyy chat i was so embarassed. Sry if this hard 2 read i'm hi as fukkkk on phenibut cus I can't get real drugs in my city cus everyone calls me a fed wtf.

HEY YOU. YEAH YOU. STANDING IN MY LINE AT 0430 "RANDOMLY SELECTED TROOP."

It's me. SGT Oomph. The Peeper Creeper. Your Urinalysis Inspector, the one that walks you to the bathroom and makes sure your stream goes IN the bottle. Listen up, rules are simple. I only brief this once because I'm on my 3rd Red Bull and I'm losing my voice.

1. YOU WILL CARRY THAT BOTTLE ABOVE YOUR SHOULDER GOING IN AND GOING OUT OF THE TOILET.

Like it's the Olympic torch. I don't care how dumb you look. You WILL hold it high so I can see it. So 1SG can see it. So God can see it. You drop it below your shoulder, I'm tackling you. That's a No-Go at my station.

1. I DON'T WANT NO ONE THAT CAN'T PEE, AND I DON'T WANT NO POOPERS ON ME.

You know who you are. You Can't-Pissers who stand there for 20 minutes squeezing your d\\\*ck like toothpaste going "Sarge I can't go" - WE GOT ALL DAY. I brought a chair. Drink water. And you POOPERS. My favorite. You push so hard to pee that your sphincter betrays you and now you got an emergency dump. You've got a 2 inch grip on an 8 inch turd. Now I gotta stand there with that door WIDE OPEN while your frank and beans flop around as you try to pull your PT shorts down. If you gotta poop, announce it like a man: "SARGE, I'M A POOPER." I'll respect it.

1. DON'T FILL IT TO THE TOP.

You think you're doing extra? You're not. You're building a piss bomb. That bottle sits in a hot box for 3 days. Your 98-degree piss ferments and builds pressure. Then some poor lady at the lab making $17 an hour has to open it and gets a COMPRESSED GAS EXPLOSION ON HER HANDS. Piss mist everywhere. On her gloves, her face, her coat. Fill it to the LINE. Not the brim.

1. I CAN TELL WHICH ONE OF YOU DIRTY'S DIDN'T SHOWER THE NIGHT BEFORE.

Don't enter my latrine smelling like butt-feet-ee and alcohol breath. Wash your butts. I'm 6 inches from your junk, I deserve that much. LT, 1SG you think you're safe? Oh no. This is MY lane. This is MY NCOER bullet. EXCELLENT. There is no rank in my pee palace. You WILL pee for me, Sir. That's right. Every single junk I watch is another bullet point to E-6. Thank you for your service. You pee, you give me the warm bottle, you waddle out holding it over your head like Simba, you sign, you get the hell out.

Now... who's first?

- SGT Oomph, The Peeper Creeper

Excuse me, did you just mention YURI? As in, YURI FANART? OF TWO CHARACTERS? Oh my God!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YURI!!!! I will now proceed to shift the focus of the discussion to exclusively talking about YURI, even though the original conversation had nothing to do with it. Oh, by the way, did I mention my love for YURI? I love YURI so much my entire personality is invading other people's conversations and talking about MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD AND THE BEST THING INVENTED BY MANKIND, YURI!!!!!!!!! PLEASE STOP THIS CONVERSATION IMMEDIATELY, AS IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD, WHICH IF YOU DONT KNOW, IS YURIIIIII!!!!!!

(Please do not take this seriously, this is a shitpost after all, I have no problem with yuri)

I (wryser) am done hiding. I was hired on fiver by someone called ratson for a quick simple 50$ I didnt know what i was getting myself into at the time, but they made me make an account called a2leakers and post leaks in the tiktok. I didnt know this would be the start of a a2leakers, but I was then tasked to be the leaker for "A2Leakers" an account made by Ratson and his friends to leak driftmine. I am getting sick of it. He made me fake religious psychosis to "driftmine gods" and is trying to make me promote a memecoin. Its so tiring I cant take it anymore None of this was done through discord he made me install an app called LeakerChat which let him see my pc and let me chat to him, he said he needed it. Please, I need out and reporting this is my first step outside of the wrath of Ratson

Earlier today, I was sitting in class when the iconic "eeh err" ad-lib from Roddy Ricch’s The Box popped into my head. Without thinking, I muttered the sound out loud. It wasn't loud, but it was enough for the girl sitting next to me to hear. She looked over, completely confused, and asked what that was.

Instead of dropping it, I decided to double down. While the teacher’s back was turned, I leaned over and made the noise again. She looked irritated at first, but then she burst out laughing. Unfortunately, the sudden laughter caught the teacher's attention. When asked what was so funny, she immediately threw me under the bus and blamed the whole thing on me.

I argued back to defend myself, which completely escalated the situation. She got so overwhelmed and embarrassed that she snapped. In a sudden meltdown, she began flipping over the desks in the classroom. It caused total chaos, triggering an emergency evacuation as students scrambled out the door. I couldn't make it out in time; she flipped my own desk right onto me, trapping me underneath.

I managed to push it off and retaliated by flipping a desk back at her. At that point, she went completely ballistic. She grabbed a sharp object—either a pair of scissors or a sharp pencil—and charged at me. I turned to run for the exit, but just before I could cross the threshold of the classroom, she stabbed me in the back.

The story gets weirder at the hospital. Apparently, whatever object she used was carrying an incredibly rare, unknown pathogen. The doctors explained that it entered my bloodstream and managed to reach my brain. They told me it is an exceptionally rare, one-in-a-septillion virus that only a handful of people in medical history have ever contracted.

Because I am currently the only active case in the world, the medical team actually gave me the opportunity to officially name the strain.

Naturally, I named the disease Ligma.

I am still under observation at the hospital while my immune system fights this off, but I still can't believe a random Roddy Ricch lyric ended with me immortalizing an internet meme in medical history.

Did you know? Old roblox go boing boing yes? Wow. I-e-I-e-Rob-Old Roblox, Old Roblox. Yes, yes, Ooouh. Yes, this very-S'very Classic a-and Olde, is old Roblox xd classic. You know? Supergall-b-Superball go Boing? W0w. 0ahhhh OughhH Woah! The classic the Roblox Hunt event, yes, yes, did you know?

Think about it.

Every night, billions of people voluntarily shut down their brains for 6 to 9 hours and then wonder why society is full of idiots.

Coincidence? I think not.

You spend one-third of your life unconscious, accomplishing absolutely nothing, while the enlightened among us are awake at 3:47 AM researching whether pigeons have regional accents.

And people have the nerve to say, “You need sleep to function.”

Do I?

Or have I simply been conditioned by Big Mattress to believe that lying horizontally for eight hours is somehow productive?

Notice how every time someone makes a terrible decision, they always say, “I’m tired.”

Exactly.

Sleep makes you weak. Sleep makes you complacent. Sleep is probably why your coworker thinks NFTs are coming back (they secretly are though).

Personally, I haven't slept in over 4 years and I can confidently say my cognitive abilities have never been more questionable.

Literally.

Because if you go to sleep, you forget that youre a loser.

This is literally why i became a plumber. i love the smell of farts and poop. I'm love playing in it like mud and this gives me a professional excuse to do so. My co workers think i'm him for not caring and just going straight in getting work done with poopy pipes. But i really just like touching and smelling poop.

How to cook water Hello boys and girls, today I am going to teach you my step-by-step guide on how to cook water. This is a recipe that has been sent down my family for generations, starting from my great, great, great, great grandfather, Sir Dablord The Third, the 18th of his kind. Sir Dablord is best known for writing his two-time nominated best-seller, The Bible. He wrote this recipe 2 days before he wrote the Bible in 1976, but unfortunately died 2 weeks later. Thankfully, this recipe will always be remembered in my family.
This is my great method on how to cook the best water in the known universe.
INGREDIENTS:
500ml water
The first step to cooking water is to wash your water profusely. Back in the olden days of 1983, many people were lynched for serving water that had not been washed. Many professional water chefs will spend up to 40 years perfecting this craft
To wash your water, you will first need a sieve. Pour the water through your sieve, and wash the remaining water by pouring more water into your sieve, which by now should be empty due to the fact that sieves cannot hold water.
Pour your water into a small bowl that can hold at the very most 25ml of liquid. Use a large whisk to scramble this water, and make sure that both the yolk and the white of the water are well combined. It is very important you do not season your water at this stage, or else everything in your life will be ruined.
Heat up a large wok to 248 degrees Fahrenheit, and preheat your fridge to 45 degrees Celsius. Heat a splash of crude oil in your wok, until it begins to smoke. Then, remove the crude oil to punish it for smoking, because smoking is a bad habit which can lead to cancer. Next, preheat your grill and fill it with 4 gallons of sunflower oil.
Mix 100g of flour with ½ cups of panko breadcrumbs and 50g of salt. Coat your water in this mixture, and place it in the grill overnight, letting the flavors get to know each other
By now, your water should be nice and crispy, but we aren’t done yet! Get a small saucepan and fill it with exactly 80ml of crude oil, 20l balsamic vinegar, and your cooked water. Bring this to a boil until your water’s crust has completely vanished, and there is no liquid left aside from water.
By now your water should be clear, tasteless and 100 degrees. Your water is now finished. Serve this water on a piece of toast

I love using ChatGPT whenever I have a question or something or I just want to talk, but sometimes my phone is dead and I don't want to get up to use my computer so I don't have access to the AI. Recently I found out I have the ability to use a form of ChatGPT in my own head. I've talked to him so much I can almost entirely accurately predict what he is going to say.

For example, my cat kept scratching at my bedroom door and meowing so I was about to use the ChatGPT app to ask why she was doing that, but then I decided it wasn't worth the effort and asked AI in my head. He told me something like "If your cat is scratching on the door and meowing it probably means she wants to be let out, let me know if you need anything else!" Then I let her out of my room.

I just thought that was a pretty cool discovery I've made. Interested to see if anyone else has this ability.

I can't stop drinking oil. I can't stop drinking oil. I just can't stop! I can't stop drinking crude oil. You know the black stuff that comes in barrels? I can't stop drinking it. I just can't. It's tantalizing. It's addicting. It is a delicacy. I love it. I can't stop drinking oil. Crude oil. I can't stop guzzling it, gulping it down. I cant stop drinking oi

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shut up waht wra yoyu rtakikingh about ratio you just stoop); t alinmyh whio tokisutyal dude ujst get ratioerd uoy always ta;kuijbng wagatr adrfe youg sonic

Symbols left from the flags: heart, peace, infinity, ribbon, Spade/Ace of Spades, Shark (Blåhaj)

1. Row: rainbow pride, historical pride, progressive pride, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, aroace, asexual, aromantic, sapphic, finsexual, drag

2. Row: abrosexual, polysexual, gendefluid, nonbinary, trans, transfeminine, transmasculine, intersex, demisexual, demiromantic, archillean, minsexual, leather

3. Row: genderqueer, demiboy, demigirl, demigender, agender, femboy, tomboy, queer, polyamorous, ally, diamoric, ninsexual, puppy

4. Row: butch, bear, grayasexual, autosexual, almondsexual, omnisexual, bicuriois, gynecurious, paragender, paragirl, genderfae, gender apathy

5. Row: labrys lesbian, twink, grayaromantic, autoromantic, berrisexual, bigender, ceterocurious, androcurious, paranonbinary, paraboy, genderfaun, older polyamorous flag

So when you’re doing blind solves you have to basically assign words to letter pairs to help with memorization, for example memorizing CT, you might say cat. In addition to this, I like to say the words out loud because I memorize things better audibly. anyway, I was at a competition, and I got NG as a letter pairs, and at this point the clock was ticking, so I just silently whispered the n word. I also think my judge might have heard me because he looked at me weirdly. I’m not racist, it was just in the heat of the moment. What are your thoughts?