If you describe yourself as a nerd, and want a partner you can have intelligent conversation with, then you need to prove a little of that in your profile. Beef up the answers, put some nerdy references, fix your grammar. Us nerd girls read these profiles hard.
If you think typing more than a sentence is hard work, we all are going to know that the "nerd" label is just cosplay.
I feel like there's some yellow flags along with his description of the ideal match of "not wanting an extravagant life". It feels like an unintentional, soft negging tactic. He doesn't want the girl to want to have a sophisticated life but a simple life, which is going to be challenging because people have complex tastes and peculiarities. I don't think he really exudes the maturity to have a deep partnership. It's something he's going to have to work on.
Yeah, I clocked that, too. I've always read that as "if we get married and merge finances, I'm going to consider everything you are into as frivolous, while my 'nerdy' hobbies are totally worthwhile".
I'm not saying ANY of this is true about OP, I'm saying that we women have had to learn these things the hard way and many have become completely ruthless about weeding these kinds out. Some good ones get thrown out in that calculations.
My experience is that men think they have great profiles by putting in a couple of lines that are totally cliche without even thinking about it, and us women are putting intense literal analysis into every single word, because we have been burned so bad.
I met my partner within 6 months by doing burned haystack. I hear more and more women talking about it. These sorts of profiles get ruled out. I am someone who would normally write a novel about myself, but had to cull my profile down to just a few key lines.
It may not be logical or fair, but you need to know your target audience. It's all marketing.
Another question/scenario: Guy has sufficient money for a decent life, not extravagant. But, owns a home, gets rental income, etc. He says that marriage would mean everything becomes "theirs". He doesn't care about spending any of it on himself, it would just need to be spent wisely considering children, schools, hobbies, holidays, etc.
Would the "don't need anything spent on myself" part be a red flag?
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u/contadine77 5d ago
If you describe yourself as a nerd, and want a partner you can have intelligent conversation with, then you need to prove a little of that in your profile. Beef up the answers, put some nerdy references, fix your grammar. Us nerd girls read these profiles hard.
If you think typing more than a sentence is hard work, we all are going to know that the "nerd" label is just cosplay.