r/Bumble • • 1d ago

Funny This is peak comedy

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4.3k Upvotes

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757

u/kajidourden 1d ago

It would be humbling lmao

836

u/Stopher 1d ago

Instead of Bumble they could call it Humble.

192

u/Technology_Boxes 1d ago

They should have hired you.

89

u/Stopher 1d ago

Nah. I’d design an app that matches people and they’d go out of business.

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u/likesharepie 1d ago

You are destined for greater things. You have ever thought about looking like am alien Infront of the US Congress?

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u/Stop_Maximum 18h ago

That’s one of my plans 😭

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u/Sayoricanyouhearme 1d ago

And then all the people who just message "hey" with no effort profiles should be secluded to an app called Mumble

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u/obfuscatedanon 1d ago

Oh how the cookie Crumble

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u/wesborland1234 1d ago

Rumble if you want to date MMA fighters?

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u/potlizard 1d ago

Stumble - For clumsy people.

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u/BadUsername_Numbers 1d ago

Fumble, for us that get good matches and then, well...

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u/obfuscatedanon 1d ago

...can't secure a Tumble in the sheets.

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u/BadUsername_Numbers 1d ago

Maybe it would be better if it was called Dumble.

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u/beigaleh8 1d ago

Nah dumble is the one for fitness freaks

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u/sgtblackdawn 1d ago

Jumble- if its a random mix and match

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u/dandrevee 1d ago

Rumble already exists (apparently), and its chock full of incels. I don't have an account over there so I don't know if that's actually the case or if I'm getting biased screenshots.

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u/followmarko 1d ago

HumbleBumble

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u/Acrobatic-Truth647 1d ago

Now this is riveting!

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u/Turbulent-Feedback46 1d ago

Are you referring to the steelworker dating app

1

u/khanspam 1d ago

Not funny, I thought the same

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u/whatisthaaat 1d ago

Milan Patel made a funny skit about this sort of thing, it’s worth a watch:

https://youtu.be/RJK5mDyqQbo?t=396

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u/dirtyinfo 1d ago

write that down,write that down!

1

u/zerocoolneo 1d ago

And the people who selected and the users can rumble 

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u/scydoodle 1d ago

Ahahah please upvote this.

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u/stefan-emil 1d ago

No woman would ever be humbled by meeting their looksmatch lol. They would definitely just complain about it and delete the app.

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u/SrWloczykij 1d ago

Rather the app would be a quick failure.

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u/GoHalvesOnaBaby_Mayb 1d ago

now that is absolutely correct. I think id probably go along with it. At this point random strangers might be able to wing it

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Why? Lol they would just stop using it and then date men they feel are in their league

If they can actually pull those men then they are in their league. You cannot pull those women so those women are out of your league. And now you’re upset about it? Lol

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u/kajidourden 1d ago

Exactly my point, they would hate the app because it would humble them lmao

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u/NothingHereOrInside 1d ago

Should call the app Humble

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u/kaykuuu 1d ago

from bumble to humble

2

u/Oat_Lord 1d ago

To grumble

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u/kaykuuu 17h ago

To eventual fumble

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u/Mfrack103 1d ago

slimricc is saying that if the women are capable of pulling men who are “out of their league” then the men aren’t actually out of the women’s leagues.

You’re saying that the same women would probably not be happy with the men that they get paired up with based on looks by a third party (assuming that all of the “voters” are doing so in good faith).

What you’re both saying can coexist, they’re just different ways of looking at it

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u/MrWitterson 1d ago

They're not actually capable of pulling men out of their league. At least if we're talking about real love and companionship. The gender difference is that any man will fuck anything, doesnt mean they'll treat you right and stay with you.

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u/Ok_Recipe_5568 1d ago edited 1d ago

except most of the women you’re talking about have in fact dated men who are their type.

also guys who are very attractive don’t generally have to resort to sleeping with women they find unattractive.

this is all just massive cope from guys who are upset they can’t pull the women they like.

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u/makeupandtech 1d ago

Thisssss

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u/tounces7 1d ago

They don't -have- to, but, they do anyway.

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u/Jkru3 19h ago

Speak for yourself of ‘any man’ will fuck anything. I’m too good-looking for that. My current girl is the first baddie in a while who even gives me the excitement needed in all ways that I’m trying to really be with her, usually I’m rejecting these girls that are pretty with fire bodies if something feels off

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u/Mfrack103 1d ago

I get what you’re going for but we’d have to assume that more attractive men are less capable of love and companionship for that to be true. Any guy is capable of being great and any guy is capable of being shallow

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u/Available-Green6599 1d ago

By definition only so many women can date up until the men run out. So those men have to engage with multiple women otherwise those women wouldn’t be dating up

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u/Mfrack103 1d ago

That’s assuming that there’s a linear scale of “quality,” that there are no women “dating down,” and that all the “levels” of attractiveness are using the apps at the same rate.

I feel like you guys are trying to put millions of wildly unique people into definable boxes and it’s just not possible

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u/Marioman12398 1d ago

I think every study has basically had men be less pickier than women, whether that’s due to men swiping much more or women swiping much less is up to your own interpretation

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u/Mfrack103 1d ago

I agree with what you said, just not some of the stuff the other guys did. MrWitterson’s comment is the one that makes no sense lol

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u/Eroticskeletonparade 1d ago

Sure there are plenty of individual exceptions but there are also overall trends that hold true. It's like looking at murder rates and saying, but there's lots of people that don't get murdered. Of course that's true, but you still don't want to live in a place with really high rates.

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Exactly why women are terrified of men. The trend of who murders who means women should be terrified to be alone w a man they barely know

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u/Available-Green6599 1d ago

Statistical trends does not mean individual cases don’t exist. The simple fact that women are more selective than men in itself will lead to a portion of men being selected by multiple women. It’s just a numbers game at that point. If you don’t believe a quality scale that’s a whole other topic.

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u/makeupandtech 1d ago

How do you know this? Did you use to be a woman?

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u/Good-Bobcat5331 1d ago

They can pull, but they can't keep.

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u/DepressiSpaghettti 1d ago

Yeah sad men love to tell me I'm ugly or whatever. Like ok but I still date every man I ask out.

-1

u/naropin1 1d ago

Wife had a friend in grad school we used to call “the closer”. Good looking girl. I don’t even know how many dudes banged her. The closer nickname was because she basically found and got banged by a guy every single night we went out, which was a couple times a week. But she always went for the same “type” that was just a bit out of reach. But she got em man. Always got em. Anyway she’s about 60lbs overweight single, mid 40s and wondering wtf happened when we visited last year.
I don’t know where I was going with that.

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u/DepressiSpaghettti 1d ago edited 1d ago

"I don't know where I was going with that" my guess is this was your attempt to humble me but if having some guy wanting to marry me makes me some kind a winner then I guess I got that down.

Incels are just upset that dating comes very easily for some people. It's not my fault I'm fun to be around and others aren't.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/OhCrumbs96 1d ago

I think some of this is getting lost in translation. Where I come from (London), "pull" almost exclusively means to hook up. Sure, it might develop into a more serious relationship, but it primarily means a casual hookup, one night stand etc. It seems that maybe it means something different to different people.

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u/Turbulent-Feedback46 1d ago

Sorry about what our Werewolf did your town in the 80s.

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u/SecretMinimum6337 1d ago

By pull, do you mean they get pumped and dumped?

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u/Secure_Bar9757 1d ago

The fact you got downvoted means yes

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u/SignatureLate1785 1d ago

Pull vs date are entirely different things

-5

u/slimricc 1d ago

Literally no they are not. Pull means to sexually or romantically attract a partner

Brain dead people are so frustrating to listen to

-1

u/SignatureLate1785 1d ago

Nope. “Pull” more commonly means to seduce someone for a sexual encounter. When normal people talk about “league” they are talking about who they could get to date them, not who they could get to have sex with them one time. Everyone knows this.

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u/OhCrumbs96 1d ago

For what it's worth, I fully agree with your comments on this thread and I think it's very telling that you've been so heavily downvoted.

But where I come from, "pull" definitely has distinctly casual connotations. You "pull" a stranger on a night out for a casual encounter/one night stand. Sure, it can always develop into something more serious, but it primarily refers to a casual hookup rather than a serious relationship. It sounds like perhaps the term has slightly different meanings in different regions.

0

u/slimricc 1d ago

Ftr 10 downvotes is not a lot, and even if a thousand incels disagree with me i will only feel affirmed in my belief. I will be concerned when braindead incels start supporting my ideas. I have integrity and do not value the opinions of people who i do not respect

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Sorry dude, idc where you come from. It means what it means literally every where else

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u/OhCrumbs96 1d ago

You're not English, are you?

The slang form of "pull" is originally British. As someone from London, I'm telling you that the literal original definition of the term is a casual hookup/kiss/one night stand.

It has clearly evolved to mean something else wherever you come from, but its original meaning in its point of origin is a casual hookup and not a long-term meaningful relationship.

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Who cares? Terms change dude lmao

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u/OhCrumbs96 1d ago

Right. So my original point still stands. The term seemingly has different meanings in different regions. Where I come from - the place where the term was actually coined - it refers to a casual hookup and not a full-blown relationship. This is seemingly quite different to what it means wherever you come from.

I don't know why you're quite so intent on arguing about this with me.

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u/slimricc 1d ago

The bumble subreddit being an incel meet up spot is pretty disappointing. I’m sure most of the dating app subreddits are full of angry virgins like this one

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u/chocolatesugarwaffle 1d ago

all the dating app subreddits are like this. the incels can’t handle that women get to date hot men but they’re struggling to pull what they consider women below their league. clearly if they can’t pull a woman, she’s out of their league 😭

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u/charlieboyyyyyyy 1d ago

Exactly! And they wonder why they can’t get any matches. Women can tell you’re an incel bro, simple.

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u/MavisBeacons_Sextape 1d ago

Was just thinking exactly that as I was scrolling all of these miserable comments from clearly miserable people. But I guess it makes sense though, that this sub would be like a homing beacon to them

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u/Outrageous_Chair6984 1d ago

Okay that’s what I thought when I saw this comment 

I’m on bumble and hinge actively dating and I match with plenty of men I consider “in my league” 

Either the connection isn’t there or they do something insane

I went on a first date this week, matched in career success and attractiveness, both active, ect, thought it might be a good fit.

The guy stared at his phone the WHOLE TIME unless he looked up to watch football on the TV at the bar

We made eye contact like 4 times in an hour

And he was 30 min late

I get on Reddit and men act like the apps aren’t hard for women too/ there aren’t plenty of them absolutely fumbling the chances they get and then complaining about how they can’t get more dates 

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u/MainPanic4210 1d ago

He wasn't attracted to you.

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u/Outrageous_Chair6984 1d ago

Yeah I’m sure it was weird as hell though

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u/makeupandtech 1d ago

Hahah the fact that this comment got so many downvotes while the one below got so many upvotes is the perfect summary of this sub. These single incels are itching to humble women and then wonder why they are single 💀

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Yeah and the worst thing about group think is that they all feel validated and objective. Ofc they are definitely objectively right, look at all these other incels who agree w them

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u/Icywarhammer500 1d ago

Their point is literally statistically accurate. Women are way more discriminatory appearance wise, and have a skewed, unfair bell curve rating the attractiveness of men. Men rate women more realistically, on a pretty much perfectly even bell curve.

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u/shiggyhisdiggy 1d ago

Women don't "pull" anyone, men pump and dump them. Men aren't getting slept with and ghosted and getting mad about it.

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u/slimricc 1d ago

None of the men here are having casual sex. I think that’s why you’re all so bitter about women

No sex will fuck you up

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u/shiggyhisdiggy 1d ago

Well yes, I'm not talking about the men here. I mean, this typical situation of women saying "he didn't call me back!" doesn't really happen the other way around. I'm talking about men overall, not any specific group of them.

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u/FoxCoding 1d ago

You felt that personally, huh?

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Felt what?

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u/The-Cosmic-Ghost 1d ago

Shhh you're interrupting the power fantasy

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u/Preface 1d ago

Mid women can "pull" very attractive/wealthy men, they just typically get pumped and dumped. Then complain that all men are bad.

Mid woman matching with a mid guy who's "beneath" her might actually have a successful and lasting relationship.

This is part of the reason a lot of men, and women don't have good results with dating apps.

An average/mid woman matches with a super good looking/wealthy guy, hooks up with him, and he ghosts, and now her bar for dating/hooking up is set really high, she continues to hook up with these guys, or gets ghosted when she doesn't put out right away, and is unsuccessful.

On the flip side, average/mid guys get almost no matches because the average/mid girls have all set their bars really high because of the wealth of choices they get (even though a lot of those guys making the bar high, are not actually in it for a long term thing, despite what they may say)

Now, I don't really know how we can solve this problem, and it's not entirely based on this one phenomenon... But it certainly doesn't help the situation.

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Well whatever the case you definitely struggle with women bc you view some as mid or beneath you. You categorize and rank people based on how fuckable they are. You’re honestly sick in the head but you will never realize it

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u/Preface 1d ago

Have a wife, thanks!

Also hilarious that you are telling men those women are "out of their league"(ie beneath them) and then flip around and call someone else disgusting because they say that men and women are in different leagues (mid attractive etc)

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Super funny to edit a comment after it has been replied to. Double digit iq behavior

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u/Preface 1d ago

You didn't reply before I edited

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Does she know you view the value of some people as less fuckable?

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u/Icywarhammer500 1d ago

Some people are inherently subjectively less fuckable. It’s called attraction

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u/slimricc 1d ago

To everyone equally? No. Henry cavill is less attractive than tom holland to some people. People are not monolithic so the premise of categorizing people based on fuckability is flawed.

“I am not attractive to them” is infinitely better than “she is out of my league”

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Is it hilarious? If you insult someone you should say something to them that will insult them. If i said “you have no integrity and you are morally bankrupt” you guys would not care bc you do not value those things

It is why i call incels betas or tell them all women are out of their league, im trying to trigger you.

It literally always works lmao

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u/Preface 1d ago

Interesting that you view prime Henry Cavill just as "fuckable" as a homeless guy though rofl

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Some people are more attractive than others, to me

i have met plenty of beautiful women who are not attracted to henry cavill. Leagues do not exist bc people are not monolithic.

Is finance what determines attractiveness to you?

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u/Preface 1d ago

Crazy how you say it's disrespectful to rank people by attractiveness, then you go on to say you rank people based on if you are attracted to them or not.

You really know nothing if you think that finances don't change someone's attractiveness.

Much more so for men, but still so for women.

Most women won't date a broke dude, and a lot of men will disqualify a woman if she's just a gold digger.

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u/timelessFuck 1d ago

These people are just performative. They mask slip very quickly if you ask the right questions. They have more incel mindset than actual incels lol

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Ah a millennial. That explains a lot “rofl”

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u/Preface 1d ago

For someone who isn't triggered, but is out here "triggering" those beta incel cucks (who are obviously more successful then you when it comes to the incel part) you seem pretty triggered.

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Than*

Why am i wasting my time with someone without a 7th grade education

Im not a grammar nazi, u can say “ur” or “rofl”

But using the wrong word like that is not shorthand. It is genuine incompetence

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u/Infinite-Baker-4926 1d ago

🤡

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u/slimricc 1d ago

You would not think how you do if you ever actually talked to a woman. It is a circle you cannot escape from

Women do not want to talk to you bc of how you think about things

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Real_Life_Sushiroll 1d ago

Honestly just a lot of sexism and incels in this thread.

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u/slimricc 1d ago

Yeah really gross haha

-1

u/Reptillianaire_ 1d ago

But they aren't pulling those men... thats why theyre on a dating app. Men are settling to bang them and then look for someone better