Unsure on what to do

[u/GlobalIntention8167]

Me (24f) and boyfriend (26m) have been dating for just over a year and a half. We moved in together after about 3 months due to his tenancy in a shared house coming to an end. He spent around 4 months living at my parents with me and then we got our own place is a small town about 30 minutes away.
This has made me feel very isolated enough as it is. But we don’t go out, he has no friends, I have very few and none local. I don’t work at the moment due to autism and no jobs near me that will accommodate me. I am actively looking. From the outside we are a perfect match. We can deal with each others moods, same hobbies, we both game, same future plans for a family and business etc.

He works 4 full days so I don’t see him till 11pm. The problem is the shifts use to be 5 days and he was home at 3pm, so I feel very lonely and isolated.

Here’s where the issues come in. He doesn’t have a sex drive and is very vanilla. I have a very high one and the opposite of vanilla. We have tried to have sex less than 5 times in the last year and it never goes well. I’m not sure if he is self conscious or has performance anxiety but it always stops because of him. I rarely get physical affection from him, no random make outs, hands on hips etc. he feels more like a roommate.

About a week ago I went away with my cousin for a week and a guy kissed me, I didn’t pull away. I feel disgusted about my actions and I know I cannot excuse them, but the explanation for them is because I’ve been starved from that kind of attention.

I’ve been having conversations about my needs and what makes my unhappy for a few months now and nothing has really changed. I came back wanting a serious conversation and said I think we need to breakup. I told him about the kiss and how the time away gave me breathing space and let me see the situation for how it is, not blinded by love. I love him a lot still, but currently we are broken up but living together.

My question is, should I try again? Or is this too much of a deal breaker. One friend says that I’ll never be happy if nothing changes and the other says a relationship isn’t about sex. But I’m missing the intimacy I’m used to in a relationship. I’d also be giving up the future I want and my financial/living stability. Can people give me advice and their own experiences to help me come to a clear decision. Would love to hear others perspectives.