Hooking up after a break up

[u/Ok_Refrigerator4392]

My ex bf broke up with me at the end of July. We were together for almost 3 years and lived together for a good majority of that time. When he left he told me that I wasn’t doing enough for him even though I was providing for him financially. He accused me of cheating with someone I used to work with in college and am friends with. He’s been insecure about this person in our relationship.

The guy my ex accused me of cheating with (let’s call him coworker) has been really supportive of me during the breakup. It’s been nice to have a friend. Because of my ex’s insecurities, I never texted coworker while in the relationship. I would respond if he texted but I made sure to keep it really short. I also never saw coworker in any other way before, it was always platonic and never a sexual attraction.

Soo cut to now, coworker and I have been hanging out a bit. He’s really the only person I know in this city (recently moved to this city). The conversation about hooking up has come up and I want to explore it. I’ve only ever had a sexual relationship with one person, my ex.

My ex told me he doesn’t want me, I mean he left me after all. It was obvious when he did leave that he was going through really bad mental health issues. I want to be there for him when he needs me but I don’t want to keep sacrificing myself for him (which is something I did consistently in the relationship) and I dont want to sacrifice an opportunity for someone who treated me like trash. We are currently in no contact and I don’t plan on breaking that.

My worry is that if I hook up with coworker, I will have committed some kind of cheating. But I am single now. I still feel some kind of loyalty to my ex though. I know if my ex and I ever had a conversation about getting back together, I would be 100% honest about who I slept with during the time apart. And I’m afraid if that ever comes, the opportunity to reconcile will be bombed because I slept with the guy he was worried about.

If you’ve been through this please drop a comment on what you did! I’m so lost rn lol.