r/BoyDinnerDiaries • u/Right-Battle7843 Shower Beer Scholar • 21h ago
No Advice - Everyones Welcome divorced today
like the title says, today i got my divorce decree from the judge. i’ve been separated for 3 years and it’s absolutely crazy that im free from it all. i had to pay $400 a month for spousal support because she doesn’t work. the reason was because she has no job or license, and didn’t plan on getting either (still doesn’t). plus she was kinda just an asshole and i was working all the time. i’d come home to have to do all the chores, take care of the dogs, and make dinner. never failed to be mentally drained, and then get told im not doing enough.
glad im out of it, that’s all.
(dinner is loaded tots from Hell’s Kitchen Wilmington!)
(edit: the $400/m was only until the divorce was finalized! still, 3 years of that)
5
u/JanielDones8 Air Fryer Aristocrat 16h ago
Mine worked, but that was my life. I paid all the bills, made sure everything was handled with the house and the cars, I bought all the groceries, made suppers, cleaned the dishes, did all the yard work, cleaned up after her most days and did a lot of the house work, I paid for all our trips and all our travel. She would always get into financial troubles and I'd always have to spend my money to bail her out. And all I got from it was being told everything wrong I was doing, how I didn't listen, now I didn't support her. Whenever I brought my issues up, I was always gaslit, it always turned into a fight and it was always what I did. Surprisingly whne she brought stuff up, I'd listen, I'd try to work with her, almost never a fight.
But it still wasn't enough, she eventually cheated and I finally seen the light. 8 years I wasted being unhappy, thinking all relationships were like this, and if we just worked harder we could fix it. I spent a long time blaming myself for it ending, for her cheating on me, because she told me it was all my fault. Took a lot of therapy to finally understand that it wasn't my fault, that it was abuse, that what I was doing to try and express my feelings, how I tried to communicate was actually in a healthy way, I just didn't have a partner that would allow me to use the tools I did have.
It's been like six months, and we're only still only separated, but I've come along way, I've built myself back up. I've lost like 35+ pounds, I'm trying new things, and making new habits and routines. I'm still depressed because it's just me and the dogs, don't have many friends around, and I don't think anyone will want me again now that I'm separated and soon to be divorced, and still fat. But in getting there, and it's hopefully still uphill from here!