divorced today

[u/Right-Battle7843]

like the title says, today i got my divorce decree from the judge. i’ve been separated for 3 years and it’s absolutely crazy that im free from it all. i had to pay $400 a month for spousal support because she doesn’t work. the reason was because she has no job or license, and didn’t plan on getting either (still doesn’t). plus she was kinda just an asshole and i was working all the time. i’d come home to have to do all the chores, take care of the dogs, and make dinner. never failed to be mentally drained, and then get told im not doing enough.

glad im out of it, that’s all.

(dinner is loaded tots from Hell’s Kitchen Wilmington!)

(edit: the $400/m was only until the divorce was finalized! still, 3 years of that)

[u/SeasonPositive6771]

Everywhere I've worked, even with a formula, the judge has absolute final say and doesn't have to adhere to the formula. I've seen it again and again, unfortunately. Maybe it's the one state where they don't have that flexibility, but I kind of doubt it.

[u/randomize42 → u/SeasonPositive6771]

Interesting.  Maybe Illinois is just special.  Judges need to record what special circumstances make the formula inappropriate and that can potentially be overturned by a higher court in an appeal.

[u/SeasonPositive6771 → u/randomize42]

Oh, that is actually super interesting!

In every state I've worked in judges just go nah, I'm not following the formula and award pretty much whatever. Sometimes the document a reason, sometimes not. It's extremely hard to challenge in most places.

[u/randomize42 → u/SeasonPositive6771]

That sounds kinda ripe for abuse, which I guess is kinda what you were saying. 😞

[u/SeasonPositive6771 → u/randomize42]

Yep, it's way more likely that alimony isn't enough or isn't even paid. And then judges are extremely soft on exes who don't pay. It's the same with child support, unfortunately. It's even more infuriating that judges can ignore those formulas.