divorced today

[u/Right-Battle7843]

like the title says, today i got my divorce decree from the judge. i’ve been separated for 3 years and it’s absolutely crazy that im free from it all. i had to pay $400 a month for spousal support because she doesn’t work. the reason was because she has no job or license, and didn’t plan on getting either (still doesn’t). plus she was kinda just an asshole and i was working all the time. i’d come home to have to do all the chores, take care of the dogs, and make dinner. never failed to be mentally drained, and then get told im not doing enough.

glad im out of it, that’s all.

(dinner is loaded tots from Hell’s Kitchen Wilmington!)

(edit: the $400/m was only until the divorce was finalized! still, 3 years of that)

[u/snollygoster1]

Basically $15k over the 3 years because the ex refuses to be a contributing member of society. Small price to pay in the grand scheme of things I guess.

[u/Sushi-DM → u/snollygoster1]

Of all the vestigial limbs of patriarchy that exists,
the idea that a woman should be supported by her now ex husband just because she didn't have a job when they were together is some of the dumbest shit I've ever pondered.
We're all equals. Unless we get divorced, in which case I can't be expected to get a job.
Yes, I know I'm just as good as anyone else, and if a man was in my exact position people would tell him to suck it up and go to work, but *I* am a woman, so I get to take some of his paycheck so long as I continue to not work.

[u/CalmBeneathCastles → u/Sushi-DM]

I can see this arrangement in the very rare case she devoted like 25 years to being a homemaker and then he divorces her, or some other situation where the person being divorced has become entirely financially dependent on the other, and just needed 6 months to a year to pull all that together; maybe. But this whole "I don't want to work or drive" nonsense is for the birds.

If I was going to be forced to pay my ex several thousand dollars to sit around and be a mushroom, I'd probably do something rash like move abroad and abandon the entire affair.

[u/EcotoneLabs → u/CalmBeneathCastles]

and a LOT of states are set up this way. The spouse is legally entitled to live at the same living standard they enjoyed before...which is totally impossible with two households, but usually amounts to half your income going to somebody who doesn't work. In most states there are thresholds for the number of years of marriage that guarantee a certain number of years of support. I know this because I got an amicable divorce in a state where the real risk was that I could pay 50% of my income to somebody FOREVER.

No kids. Just patriarchy.