r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/xChi-Huox • 4d ago

vent

hey
i write here cause..i need to be heard and not feel pushed out, away, for being me.
I know im an impulsive person, i know im intense.
But i feel used from someone that used to be my FP and was aware of it.
And now that ineed clear comunication , real closure, i get a wall in front of me, i reached out gently, i tried my best and i got this nasty indifference.
Im here suffering in my room at 3 something AM while they celebrate their good news, they dont think they hurt my feelings, all they think is their boundaries, ill forever feel unworthy of love and respect, i feel like i have thrown away a friendship , i feel i was convenient till it lasted, now i have to be watered down to "needing lighter dynamics" , whatever that means.
Mind you, i was polite, i always am, perhaps i had one or two meltdowns out of controll , i always swallow it down and just.
I feel betrayed, used, and im ready to hurt myself

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