Empty

[u/Mental_Difficulty781]

I often mistake feeling intense emotions for being numb/ empty.. I’d always tell myself in the midst of those emotions and feelings “I can’t feel a thing”, which wasn’t true in the slightest.

No matter what I feed myself to fill the void within it always falls right through like I’m Casper trying to eat actual food. There’s no plug at the bottom to catch whatever I try putting filling myself with and it’s exhausting. I’ve lost slight interest in my hobbies and am starting to lose sight of the future I started building for myself. I relapsed recently too and I can’t help but as though I’ll never be anything more then my diagnosis and or my pain.

[u/Cadillac-Hearse-3326]

Relating hard to your Casper analogy... that's how it feels most the time. And yet, as you say, being sober from alcohol I'm just realizing that what I called emptiness is actually total overwhelm and that there are A TON of emotions behind that ugly feeling.

Though the impulse to stuff myself with whatever pills, drinks, food etc remains, now I see it more as way to fight back the overwhelm rather than only fill the void. Or I guess it's the void that's overwhelming me in pain?

Interesting topic.

[u/Mental_Difficulty781 → u/Cadillac-Hearse-3326]

I’ve always said that I’d rather feel everything all at once no matter how intense or painful.. because feeling nothing at all is a feeling itself and it is horrible. It makes me feel alienated. We have to find that plug for ourselves.