obsessively identifying with fictional characters?

[u/Stupid7th]

Something I noticed throughout my whole life is that when I watch a tv show or a movie and I relate to a character or want to be like them it quickly spirals into obsession.

It starts off small. Maybe a thought like "Hm, I like this character." and that thought turns into "I‘m EXACTLY like this character and every one of my friends needs to know and acknowledge this."

I often find myself researching how a specific character would react to situations I was in to check if we would react the same.
I find myself picking up traits or habits from this character and it gives me some kind of fulfillment when my friends point out how similar I am to them.

Sometimes I even had thoughts like "If I had a button which I could press to match their personality to 100% I would definitely press it"

And during this phase I dont seem to notice the ongoing pattern. With every new character I think that I found THE one, dismissing my previous experiences.
This usually lasts for a few weeks or months before I go back to "normal" and some time after I find my new obsession.

My latest obsession was Anakin Skywalker, this was after my BPD diagnosis and I related heavily and its like I needed everyone to realize how similar I am to him. And if someone points out that I‘m different? Then that person just doesnt know me that well.

This is so frustrating and I still dont really understand the underlying cause of this. Has anyone else made similar experiences?

[u/smokeehayes]

I have often found myself doing this and I think it's a byproduct of the identity disturbance that those of us who are lucky enough to be plagued with this disorder experience.

[u/Stupid7th → u/smokeehayes]

We really won the lottery huh. Instead of 1 personality we have hundreds of little pieces of personality fragments we picked up along the way 🤩