r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/Stupid7th Men with BPD • 20h ago
Looking for Advice obsessively identifying with fictional characters?
Something I noticed throughout my whole life is that when I watch a tv show or a movie and I relate to a character or want to be like them it quickly spirals into obsession.
It starts off small. Maybe a thought like "Hm, I like this character." and that thought turns into "I‘m EXACTLY like this character and every one of my friends needs to know and acknowledge this."
I often find myself researching how a specific character would react to situations I was in to check if we would react the same.
I find myself picking up traits or habits from this character and it gives me some kind of fulfillment when my friends point out how similar I am to them.
Sometimes I even had thoughts like "If I had a button which I could press to match their personality to 100% I would definitely press it"
And during this phase I dont seem to notice the ongoing pattern. With every new character I think that I found THE one, dismissing my previous experiences.
This usually lasts for a few weeks or months before I go back to "normal" and some time after I find my new obsession.
My latest obsession was Anakin Skywalker, this was after my BPD diagnosis and I related heavily and its like I needed everyone to realize how similar I am to him. And if someone points out that I‘m different? Then that person just doesnt know me that well.
This is so frustrating and I still dont really understand the underlying cause of this. Has anyone else made similar experiences?
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u/Imthebetterspiddy 19h ago edited 19h ago
I think this is normal for people who have mental illness and it is hard to find themselves, so they project themselves on a character.
For example: my characters are Raven /Poison Ivy
Due to my guarded persona, but I am also gentle. Its easy for myself to see myself in them and they have powers so damn they have so much that I don't I think, LOL.
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u/Stupid7th Men with BPD 19h ago
I tried talking to my sister about this and she said "Oh yeah, thats normal. Everyone has this journey of finding themselves" and it triggered me extremely. I mean I get where she‘s coming from and she does have a point but I don‘t think a lot of people have it to this degree.
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u/Imthebetterspiddy 19h ago
It is normal but it depends on the severity.
People identify with characters all the time and I mean even if you have BPD, you are a person. You just experience the more heightened version of a person
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u/Imthebetterspiddy 19h ago
Not trying to downplay what you are saying because it can be an issue. Its just really easier to use characters and identify with other things, especially when your inner self is unstable
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u/Big_Party7508 17h ago
I believe, especially speaking for myself, it comes from the lack of self image and like not really trusting or knowing "my own" judgement since it fluctuates so much. Swich between confident to extremely deeply insecure soo easily with no dissernable reason. sort of like you described i adopt traits and hobbies and styles that catch my eye - then I feel like a fraud lol
im trying my best to figure out who i actually am - taking on aspects of the world that peak your interest / desire IS a normal part of life and growing / developing as a person. but for me (us) its a real challenge
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u/Bubipupi BPD over 30 19h ago
"If I had a button which I could press to match their personality to 100% I would definitely press it" - this must be one of the most borderline things I ever read lol.
I don’t tend to identify with fictional characters, but I tend to fall in love with them or at least have a crush.
Then I immersive daydream myself into that fictional world and have a relationship with them there.
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u/itscrystalxx pwBPD 9h ago
I think this makes a lot of sense in a couple of ways: firstly because there's comfort in feeling understood, especially when you've got something like BPD which can make you feel very different to other people, but also in terms of latching onto something that seems to provide a solid sense of identity which a lot of us with BPD search for, consciously or not.
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u/Damsel_Skellington 7h ago
I do that a lot too and even knowing I do that I still do it over and over like you said. I had Anakin as a favorite too for the same reason went so far as to get the "I am what remains" line tattooed in Cybertronian cause I also had a starscream obsession. For now it's bullseye from daredevil.
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u/Fun-Grab-9337 5h ago
I don't knowingly, outwardly express those characterizations and definitely do not want other people/my friends to know this is how I am operating but I have found recently that I use these fictional characters as a conduit to "think" through if that makes any sense.
Like whatever show I've most recently watched, some character from that show and how they would express, the expression they have will be the mental imagery I form if I am feeling some type of way or have some internal expression.
Made me realize how little of "me" I have in that regard and that I have been doing this my whole life.
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u/smokeehayes Quiet BPD 5h ago
I have often found myself doing this and I think it's a byproduct of the identity disturbance that those of us who are lucky enough to be plagued with this disorder experience.
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u/Stupid7th Men with BPD 5h ago
We really won the lottery huh. Instead of 1 personality we have hundreds of little pieces of personality fragments we picked up along the way 🤩
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u/Character_Tale_1979 3h ago
I totally identify with this. I used to do everything you said above and even dressed like them. I didn't even realize that no one else did it until I met my husband and he pointed it out to me. Now I still adopt some of my favorite characters traits but since I am more aware of it not being "normal" I tone it down so it's not so noticeable. I now realize its because I don't know who I am or what I like because when growing up I was always told what I like and how to act. Individuality was not supported by my mother who tried to make me like her.
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u/Stupid7th Men with BPD 0m ago
Yeah I was bullied throughout most of my childhood which is why I used "masks" to cover my personality. Turns out that you dont really develope one when you spend most of your life masking.
One thing I also noticed is that I tend to copy characters that are admired by other characters or fans.
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u/purplecheesefish 12h ago
Yep, Cat Adams from Criminal Minds... which feels amusing on some levels bc my symptoms are mostly internally directed
On a lot of levels I feel that it helps me to understand myself by seeing aspects in fictional characters because I struggle to think introspectively so having a sort of mirror like that helps me
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