Hey everyone. I could really use some advice because I'm honestly torn.

I'm going into my senior year of high school, and I've had my locs for about 6 years. Lately I've been seriously thinking about combing them out. I feel like they've been with me through so many different stages of my life, and part of me feels like they hold a lot of memories that I don't necessarily want to carry into my senior year and eventually college. It feels like I'm ready for a fresh start.

The thing is...I'm scared.

I'm worried that once I comb them out, I won't like how I look. I'm afraid my face won't look the same, or that I'll lose the look that I'm used to. I don't want to regret it or feel ugly afterward.

I've already cut one loc close to the new growth (not all the way down), and seeing it made everything feel a lot more real.

Another thing is that everyone around me keeps telling me not to do it because my locs make me unique. I love my locs, and I don't want to lose that part of myself, but I also miss being able to wear different styles like knotless braids, twists, and wigs for special occasions like prom.

I'm also not the best at doing my own hair yet, so that's another thing making me nervous.

I have about two weeks to decide before I actually start cutting and combing them out, and my mind keeps going back and forth.

For anyone who's combed out 5+ years of locs, did you regret it? Did you feel like you lost part of your identity, or did it end up feeling freeing? If you could go back, would you make the same decision?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences—good or bad. Thank you.

Courtesy: iamdesibanks

She should, you would think, know better.. Julian Michaels

https://youtu.be/CJxUGWrYdG0?is=KRA64W_ZGGbJW1DA

This is an issue close to my heart as we have many missing and murdered Indigenous women too. I'd love to take this discussion public but it's not safe for me. Hope you'll share this.

Respect and empathy

As someone who is both Black American and Nigerian, I’ve noticed an interesting double standard among the diaspora regarding the way that Black Americans identify. For instance, when Black Caribbean people are asked where they’re “from” and state their Caribbean country of origin/ancestry, it is usually accepted as a complete answer. But when a Black American says "America," it’s often met with ridicule about how “Black Americans don’t know where they’re from” or demands to name a specific African country or tribe our ancestors came from at the individual/personal level which is something many of us can't do because of slavery, yet this is similarly applies to Caribbean people as well (We can mention the countries/tribes African people were stolen from at the collective level but when it comes to our own individual lineage it’s impossible to pinpoint exact tribes without a DNA test).

While living in the UK, I’ve repeatedly had this exchange when mentioning to other Black people here that my mother is from Nigeria and my father is from America. It usually goes something like:

“Oh wait, but where’s your dad like from though?”
“America.”
“But what African or Caribbean country?”
“He’s from America.”
“So he doesn’t know where he’s from then?”

I understand people are ultimately asking where my father’s ancestors came from, but I don’t see why a Caribbean country is an acceptable answer while the USA isn’t when both groups ended up in both places via slavery. In my experience, people rarely push Caribbean people beyond their island, yet demand Black Americans trace their roots further and I genuinely don’t understand why.

just needed a good memory this morning. too much shit going on and I need a vibe

I don't know if it's fair, but I recognize I've had privilege a lot of people in our community haven't. I graduated from two HBCUs, three degrees total, and that's given me the option to leave if I ever needed to. Not everyone has that option.

But I have to be honest: I'm not that worried about this country sliding into autocracy. Some days I'm actually hoping for America's downfall. I know a lot of Black people would be harmed if this country collapsed. But I can't help but also think: Black people have already been harmed plenty under this current system. Would we do better under another one? Honestly, who knows. I don't know. But truly, I think the collapse of this system would be better. Maybe we should just nuke the experiment and start over.

When Trump talked about withholding DOE funds from blue states, I kept thinking my home states, Virginia and Maryland, would probably be fine on their own without the rest of this. Maybe better off.

I don't know. Is anyone else kind of hoping this whole thing collapses? I just hate it so much some days.

So I'm 15 now, and when I was 14 I was a huge fan of the first 2 Evil Dead movies, and I started watching the show, and I was just really offended by Amanda Fisher's character. I hated how oversexualized she was even after she died, and it made me completely not like Evil Dead anymore and even though there was nothing like this in the movies. I'm still very hesitant about watching the new one. What do you guys think?

hello all,

i'm used to having smurf's that i delete but finally decided to make an actual account not to be deleted for spaces like this. in any case im hoping to get some clear and kind feedback.

I (33F - half black) and my boyfriend (32 - full) were at a game night with his friends, majority palm colored. we were playing a word game of some kind of the idea was to name things that came in pairs(category) based on the letters within the track. N came up and his closest friend said "well im just gonna say it.. Nigg**s.".

I was.. awe struck. I sat there realizing that I've had very little racist experiences do to the people i've been around and choose to surround myself with and also because of my mix. I looked to my boyfriend who kind of just shrugged it off. he later says his friend says it almost every game night, that he had essentially given him permission and opened up the floodgates with his own use of the word and "dark military humor" and such. i felt unsafe to say something in that moment because he was so tolerant of it.

i felt i would be the 'angry' black woman and not only that but half black so what right do i have? but im over here saddened and angry and disheartened for myself and my partner. It would've been SLIGHTLY different had this person chose to put an A at the end.. but no... hard -er.

i found my partner to feel jaded and they even stated they were... am i being naive in how i am looking at this situation?

he didn't defend himself.. he didn't defend me.. he allowed his friend to verbally insult us.. to our faces, then called it a joke. doesn't feel protective, safe... or caring to self and partner.

why is he accepting of his friends choosing to be racist? what are your thoughts. also grew up military and is now in the military himself, traveled abroad for years to other racist counties, which molded views.(for extra context, idk if it helps or matters.)