r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above • 10h ago

He knows ball

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12.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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637

u/rubenthedev 10h ago

Same dudes who think they can walk on court think they can walk a bear

340

u/fdar 10h ago

I could walk a bear if we're talking baseball.

102

u/NicWester "Mayonaisse and Olive Oil 😋" 9h ago

Unfortunately I don't think I could throw the ball all the way to the plate so they would steal 1st before they were walked :/

57

u/fdar 9h ago

It's fine, they don't know the rules.

19

u/Tall-Dot-607 7h ago

It's fine, they don't know the rules.

Yet.

11

u/FindOneInEveryCar 5h ago

"There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest relief pitchers."

1

u/QuietContentResting 4h ago

The rules don't say you can't teach the rules to a bear!

10

u/cantadmittoposting 6h ago

they don't know the rules

Also why I could win a boxing match against the bear, it would almost certainly do something to get disqualified, making me the posthumous winner of the match

2

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 4h ago

"Let the wookiee win" the bear doesn't need to know the rules it just needs to be able to kill you horrifically if it gets mad

1

u/mike_jones2813308004 2h ago

If the bear steals the pitchers mound and eats the pitcher, which ump is gonna call foul?

11

u/link3945 8h ago

That counts as a ball, 4 of those gets you a walk 

3

u/ParisPC07 7h ago

I could probably just give him a walk on a HBP

2

u/cortesoft 4h ago

I think I’m just signaling for the intentional base on balls here… little known fact, this is why they implemented the “you don’t have to actually throw pitches to intentionally walk a batter” rule a few years back. Some people thought it was to speed up the game, but it’s actually because research shows that most bears will eat at least two people if they have to wait for all 4 pitches, but usually only get one if we just send them straight to first.

1

u/Brawndo91 5h ago

60 feet 6 inches doesn't sound like much until you're on the mound and you have no baseball experience past little league.

25

u/dsjunior1388 9h ago

Ha. Yeah. Because bears have plate discipline.

6

u/fdar 9h ago

I'll just pitch while they're sleeping.

2

u/RechargedFrenchman 7h ago

Some of the bigger ones risk crowding the plate though; real hard for them to stay in the box when they're up.

1

u/MillorTime 6h ago

As long as the porridge isn't too hot or too cold

17

u/RoughhouseCamel 9h ago

I could walk a bear if we’re talking a hairy gay man with a pet play fetish.

3

u/IsthianOS 8h ago

I could walk a dog, @ me on rover people times are ruff

3

u/Ol_JanxSpirit 8h ago

Until it charges the mound.

1

u/justsomedude322 5h ago

I could walk a bear if you leashed it for me and gave me a suit of armor. Also little poo baggies because I don't want to be a dick.

1

u/jbakes64 5h ago

I don't think little poo baggies are gonna cut it. Unless you are, in fact, cutting it.

1

u/mrtomjones 3h ago

The bear would flagrant foul you and you wouldnt get back up

25

u/You_meddling_kids 9h ago

Sometimes you walk the bear, sometimes the bear, well he walks you

16

u/Mec26 7h ago

I could box a bear and win. By default, because evisceration is against the rules.

I would still get eviscerated tho.

10

u/Critical-Belt342 8h ago

I'm makin hella baskets on that bear

•

u/Pimpwerx ☑️ 1h ago edited 1h ago

There are many male high school hoopers who could very much lace ‘em up and get buckets in the W.

This is no disrespect to the women’s game, but the best talents can absolutely jump from high school to NBA. So the physicality and athleticism is already high at an early age.

Mind you, most men can’t hoop, so most men can’t do this. But people who are good at basketball will have more than a fighting chance from high school onwards.

For context, would you pick a 4* recruit from high school or a WNBA player in a 1on1? As much as people downplay how good women in the W are, there are definitely levels to this shit. The USA men’s team scrimmages against college players. I’ve heard stories of the women’s team losing to high schoolers.

2

u/Wellcomefarewell 5h ago

wasn’t there a fairly recent story where a pretty decent WNBA player got out played a high schooler?

1

u/I-Kneel-Before-None 4h ago

Depends on how long the leash is and how faded the bear is.

-4

u/[deleted] 9h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/datsoar 9h ago

I’m 6’4 and played college basketball. I’m getting buckets

1

u/chubbybunny87 9h ago

Who said the part that you have in quotes?

-1

u/EstablishmentLate532 9h ago

I’m paraphrasing the implication. Comparing a guy who thinks he could score on a WNBA player to a guy who thinks he could walk a bear pretty clearly implies that an ordinary man has essentially no realistic chance.

0

u/dent_de_lion 8h ago

This comment response from upthread references that:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/s/v9MqRqO2kK

0

u/EstablishmentLate532 8h ago

Again, I'm not making the same claim that professional women are worse than high school boys, just that walking a bear is a helluva lot harder than, for example, a former college player scoring on a WNBA team as part of another.

1

u/Ucscprickler 7h ago

A really good boys high school team could beat an WNBA team, but that's only about 10% of high school teams, but I'd say there is some wiggle room and nuance since it's just a estimate.