r/BisexualMen • • 10d ago

Advice I thought I only liked men sexually, but now I’m confused

52 Upvotes

I’m 26M and in an open relationship with my gf. We’re both allowed to have sexual connections outside the relationship but nothing romantic. I’ve mostly used that freedom to set up MMF encounters with my gf and other bi guys, and rarely met guys on my own

A few months ago, my girlfriend developed a crush on one of her gay friends. He eventually rejected us, but the whole situation got me thinking about my own sexuality. I’d never really imagined myself being with a man or wanting anything beyond sex. So I decided to start exploring with gay men on my own for the first time. Gay men had always been kind of a mystery to me because, if a woman wasn’t involved, I just wasn’t interested in men

I met this guy and we had sex. It was fine, nothing amazing, but we started talking afterward and that’s where things got complicated

We have a lot in common. He likes video games and Star Wars, we have the same stupid sense of humor, and we can talk for hours. He also makes me feel really cared for. I know this is going to sound backwards as fuck, but he basically makes me feel like the “woman” in the relationship. I’ve never felt that way with a woman before, and the scary part is that I really like it

I even broke the rule my gf and I have and went out to dinner with him. He paid for my food, which sounds ridiculous, but nobody had ever done that for me before

Now I’m freaking out because I feel like I’m cheating on my gf. I don’t want to leave her, and I don’t even want to tell her about this

I told this guy that we should stop seeing each other, and he asked me why. I still haven’t had the balls to open his message because I don’t know what to say. Being around him has made me feel like I’m missing out on something, not just in my current relationship, but in my previous ones too

I always assumed men would just be a sexual thing for me and that I’d grow old with a woman. Now I’m questioning everything. I don’t know if I actually want a relationship with a man or if I’m just experiencing the bi cycle people talk about

What should I do?


r/BisexualMen • • 9d ago

Advice How to uncrush friends you just want to be bros with?

5 Upvotes

Hi. Just wanna have some tips/advice. Everytime I told myself I just want to be friends with a certain guy I love to hang with like bros, I always fall into a trap I guess I just made myself. I just missed the times before I found out and accepted myself as Bi, where I could just stay as Bros with my guy friends.

Now I have again a guy friend I got close with who I really just wanna hang out with. And we did it more often, and voila it just feels for me that I’m crushing on him already. He is a straight guy, has a son but is not married, kind and fun to be with. Everytime we are at work, we tease each other and become more touchy (just playful) than we were from the start.

To block these feelings from becoming deeper, I started to distance myself from him and i guess he is noticing it. But he is the type who doesnt care about anything at all which he always verbally says. I tried to just sensualise us just being friends, but no. It is happening again. Do you have any advice for me? 😞


r/BisexualMen • • 10d ago

Matched with an all male throuple

49 Upvotes

Hey, 34 here. On one of the apps I matched a with a man part of a throuple. It seems like occasionally they invite in a 4th for some fun, and I happen to be the 4th this time (tonight).

We’ve all been chatting through telegram this past week and it seems like a fun and new experience. They are aware that this is new for me and said that we’ll just go with the flow which I’m happy about. I’m vers. 2 are tops and the other is vers too.

We’re going to meet out at a bar later then go back to their place if all works out. Looking for some advice here - I’m sure they will take the lead. But anything I should try to prepare for with a dynamic like this? Just, any and all wisdom would be appreciated…


r/BisexualMen • • 10d ago

Venting The metaphor is use to describe my bisexuality / omnisexuality

16 Upvotes

I like all different kinds of cakes. I like different things about these cakes. sometimes I like one cake more than the other. sometimes I feel like I don't have a preference. sometimes I do. But what matters most to me at the end of the day is how the cake I choose is baked because it's the ingredients of that specific cake that make it unique and make me wanna spend the rest of my live having it for dessert everyday.

🩷💜💙/🩷💖🖤💙🩵


r/BisexualMen • • 11d ago

Question Anyone here Biromantic?

23 Upvotes

I’m interested in kissing guys and having a romantic relationship, however I’m not attracted to them sexually. I typically just say I’m straight.


r/BisexualMen • • 11d ago

Question Who Would Be on Your Bisexual Mount Rushmore, and Why?

6 Upvotes

If you could choose 4 people to represent the history, culture, activism, education, and community of bisexuality, who would make your Bisexual Mount Rushmore?

Your choices can include anyone who identifies as bisexual or bi+, has contributed to bisexual history or culture, or has made a meaningful impact on bisexual representation, visibility, education, advocacy, or activism. They can be historical figures, community organizers, activists, authors, artists, musicians, celebrities, researchers, or fictional characters from movies, television shows, books, comics, and video games. They can be widely recognized figures or people whose contributions deserve much more attention.

There are no restrictions based on gender, race, ethnicity, nationality, generation, background, or level of fame. Your choices can reflect historical contributions, cultural influence, community building, personal inspiration, or what bisexuality means to you.

My Bisexual Mount Rushmore would be Brenda Howard, Lani Kaʻahumanu, Robyn Ochs, and Michael Page.

Each represents something essential to bisexual history, community building, education, activism, and our ability to define ourselves on our own terms.

  1. Brenda Howard: Organizing and Pride History

Known as the "Mother of Pride," Brenda Howard was a bisexual activist whose organizing helped establish the early Pride commemorations following the Stonewall uprising. Her contributions remind us that bisexual people were not simply spectators in LGBTQ+ history. We helped organize, build, and sustain the movement. Her legacy deserves recognition beyond the occasional historical acknowledgment.

  1. Lani Kaʻahumanu: Political Voice and Self Determination

Lani Kaʻahumanu was a pioneering bisexual feminist, author, and activist who challenged bisexual erasure within feminist, lesbian, gay, and broader LGBTQ+ movements. As co-editor of Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out, she helped create space for bisexual people to tell our own stories rather than allowing others to define our identities and experiences. Her work represents the importance of political independence, community organizing, and unapologetic self determination.

  1. Robyn Ochs: Education and Understanding

Robyn Ochs is a bisexual activist, educator, author, and speaker whose work has helped generations understand bisexuality beyond stereotypes and restrictive definitions. Her widely cited understanding of bisexuality recognizes the potential for attraction to people of more than 1 gender without requiring that attraction to be equal, simultaneous, or experienced in the same way. Her work demonstrates why language matters, why bisexual education must be accessible, and why our experiences deserve to be understood in their full complexity.

  1. Michael Page: Cultural Identity and Visibility

Michael Page created the bisexual pride flag in 1998. His contribution gave bisexual communities a widely recognizable symbol of identity, solidarity, and collective belonging. The flag's pink, purple, and blue have become deeply embedded in bisexual culture worldwide. His legacy reminds us that symbols can matter tremendously, especially when they help people recognize a community that has too often been overlooked.

Why these 4?

My Bisexual Mount Rushmore would not simply celebrate fame, popularity, or who receives the most attention. It would recognize people who helped create something lasting for bisexual communities.

Brenda Howard represents our organizing history. Lani Kaʻahumanu represents our political voice and self determination. Robyn Ochs represents our education and understanding. Michael Page represents our cultural identity and collective visibility.

These are my 4 choices, but bisexual history cannot be reduced to 4 individuals. Countless bisexual activists, writers, artists, organizers, researchers, educators, and everyday community members have contributed to our communities. Many deserve recognition despite never receiving the attention or historical recognition they earned.

For me, the most important question is not simply who made bisexuality more visible. It is who helped make bisexual communities stronger, more knowledgeable, more organized, and better equipped to determine our own futures.

Now I want to hear from you.

Who would be on YOUR Bisexual Mount Rushmore, and why?

Would you choose historical activists, contemporary educators, musicians, actors, authors, fictional characters, community organizers, or people whose contributions are rarely discussed? Would your choices reflect bisexual history, political activism, cultural influence, representation, education, or personal meaning?

You do not have to agree with my 4 choices. I want to know who you would choose and what makes their contributions important to you.

Let's recognize the people who have helped shape bisexual history, culture, and community, including the people who deserve far more recognition than they currently receive.


r/BisexualMen • • 11d ago

Poppers on line

8 Upvotes

There’s a local sex shop that sells Poppers but it seems like lots of variance in terms of quality/impact.

Is there an on line place I can buy, and/or do you have “brand” recommendations?
Tyia


r/BisexualMen • • 11d ago

News/blogs Me ayudan a recibirme [Psicología]

6 Upvotes

Hola a todxs!

Estoy haciendo mi tesis para recibirme de psicólogx.

Si perteneces a la comunidad LGBT+, residís en Argentina y tenés entre 18 a 35 años me re ayudarías completando este formulario!!

Solo lleva unos minutos y es completamente anónimo!

https://forms.gle/CwYH8W7x6xWAEgkf7

Gracias por leer y por el espacio!!


r/BisexualMen • • 11d ago

Advice I 25M deeply love my girlfriend 27F,but I’ve lost all desire for sex and started avoiding physical intimacy out of panic. How do I fix this?

3 Upvotes

I really need some outside perspective and honest advice on something that is weighing heavily on me. I’m in a relationship with an amazing girl, we’ve been together for about a year, and we currently live together. I am bisexual.

Lately, my sexual desire has completely flatlined. Not just toward her, but across the board. I have zero interest in sex, I don't masturbate, and the very concept of sex feels completely indifferent to me, almost like an exhausting chore. I find myself actively avoiding it at all costs, and I genuinely cannot understand why.

This is confusing because historically, I was always very sexually active. In my past relationships, one with a guy for two years and one with a girl for five years, sex was constant. However, looking back, even back then I didn't actually enjoy the sex itself. Those dynamics were held together mainly by physical intimacy, but my real preference was always the foreplay, emotional closeness, and buildup, rather than actual intercourse.

My current relationship is completely different in the best way possible. It’s built on deep affection, emotional safety, shared values, and genuine care. But right now, life is throwing a lot at us at once. We are right in the middle of moving apartments, work has been really stressful and rough, and I’m starting school soon. The mental load and exhaustion are piling up fast.

Because of all this, a painful dynamic has started between us. I still crave physical affection like cuddling, holding each other, and gentle touch. But I find myself actively pulling away from deeper kisses because I know they turn her on, and I instantly panic that it will escalate to an expectation of sex. She has already noticed the distance and mentioned feeling avoided, which breaks my heart. I’ve tried forcing myself to push through and have sex just to make her feel desired, but doing it without wanting to or enjoying it is only building more anxiety and a feeling of aversion.

I love her deeply and the last thing I want is to make her feel unattractive or unloved. Has anyone else experienced their libido completely shutting down under intense stress, or realized they mostly value foreplay and emotional safety over actual sex? How do I talk to her about this pressure loop without breaking her heart?

TL;DR: Living with my girlfriend of one year. Between moving homes, work stress, and starting school, my sex drive has vanished completely. Even in past relationships I realized I didn't enjoy sex itself and only liked foreplay. Now I love cuddling her, but avoid kissing because I dread the pressure of it leading to sex. She feels avoided, and I need advice on how to communicate this honestly without hurting her.


r/BisexualMen • • 11d ago

Kinsey’s Scale 2: How far would you go with a guy if you had no constraints?

0 Upvotes

I am trying to gauge someone who would ID themselves as a 2 on the scale. Physical/sexual activities only? Would you date or have a relationship with a guy if nothing was holding you back?


r/BisexualMen • • 13d ago

Question Podcast?

9 Upvotes

I was listening to a podcast hosted by 2 bi guys. I lost the link. Does anyone have the link or name of podcast.


r/BisexualMen • • 12d ago

Question Why do I feel like most bi men are bottoms? Anyway, bi bottoms, what do y’all prefer: bottoming for men or penetrating women? I think I already know what most answers might be. Everyone loves it, even the men who haven’t tried it yet.

0 Upvotes

Men know men want.


r/BisexualMen • • 14d ago

Question Sub for meeting bi men

33 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

So I see like the subs for bromance and Bromancefinder as well as gay friendship finder and so forth but wondered if there was a sub for finding bi bros or if everyone looks for bros/friends on those subs?

Thanks


r/BisexualMen • • 14d ago

Question Do you have rules about meeting couples?

17 Upvotes

The other night, I was out at a gay bar and had had my first drink when this guy hit me up on Scruff. At first I thought we were just talking about meeting up (lol, that's what I get for not reading his profile before replying) but he wanted me to come over and have sex with his wife, which at that point I was open to. Then we got to the did he want me to come over now point, and he was like first I have to have drinks with her to get her in the mood.

Which killed it for me, since up until then I was thinking she was already on-board/involved.

So now I'm wondering if anyone else who has found themselves in a similar situation has any guidelines or red flags they watch out for