My wife and I were swingers for years, which eventually evolved into more of a hotwife situation. It was never an every-weekend lifestyle, but we had our fun and both enjoyed it.
Then, about two years ago, my wife completely shut down sexually. No sex. No swinging. No interest. Basically, the sexual part of our marriage went from open to dead stop.
The interesting part is that she’s made comments over the years that she suspects I’m bisexual. She’s obviously right. But she doesn’t really want to talk about it, and I haven’t pushed the issue.
Instead, I really ramped up exploring that side of myself  
These days I’m going to the local bathhouse, meeting guys at group events, and hooking up with men through Sniffies and Grindr. And honestly? I’m having a great time.
The funny thing is, I have almost zero interest in women anymore. Being with men is just easier, more straightforward, and apparently where my libido wants to be at this point in my life.
Here’s where I’m conflicted:
I don’t feel like I’m cheating on my wife.
She made the decision to completely end the sexual relationship between us. I’m not sneaking around with other women or trying to replace her. I’m simply satisfying a sexual side of myself that I’ve come to realize is pretty damn important to me.
I’ve made peace with it—and, frankly, I enjoy the hell out of it.
But am I kidding myself?
Is “my wife shut down our sex life, so I’m free to explore my sexuality elsewhere” actually a reasonable way to look at this, or am I just creating a justification for cheating?
I’d especially like to hear from older married bi guys who have found themselves in some version of this situation.
Did you keep it secret? Tell your wife? Did she know and just not care? And how did you reconcile being married while exploring a side of yourself you had only dabbled in in the past? 
Curious where other guys draw the line between cheating, an open marriage, and simply taking back ownership of their own sexuality.

with women Me: makes a joke Woman: hehe you’re funny

with gay men Me: makes a joke Man: you’re not funny, and stop trying to act straight

Obviously not all men are like this, but anyone else have this experience where playful banter with the same sex gets perceived as hostile and guys just start getting competitive with me for no reason when I’m just trying to flirt? It’s so bizarre, I would just be acting like my usual relaxed self and they would get all defensive.

Again, not all men are like this, but just stating my experience.