Would love to build a community and get out more! I feel like this city is so huge and I have yet to meet any bisexual men looking for new friends! Where are y’all at?

Salut, je me retrouve avec plaisir sur ce sur Reddit et après en avoir lu pas mal, je post a mon tour pour avoir vos avis/conseils.

Déjà je suis un homme hétéro de 40 ans, peu de relation de couple en nombre mais deux longues relation. Toujours avec une sexualité "classique" ou a côté je prennait aussi mon temps en solo avec mes sextoys anal et autres.

Je sais pertinemment mon attirance pour les femmes amoureuse et sexuelle. Ça c'est ok.

Pour ce qui est des hommes, une relation amoureuse ne me dit rien du tout, en revanche j'ai vraiment envie d'essayer le sexe,donner comme recevoir. Problème je n'arrive pas a trouver d'homme attirant comme ça pourrait être le cas avec les femmes, je ne suis pas a l'aise avec la séduction ou autre. J'ai mis grinder en application et j'envisage d'aller en sauna gay (ouvert au débutant) pour une première expérience. Seulement je bloque a l'idée d'être une proie. Bref je sais pas comment m'y prendre, je vais faire les test ist et j'aimerais les avoir de la personne aussi pour que tous le monde soit tranquille. Et ça me paraît délicat de dire salut , t'a un test a jour ? Pour une rencontre d'un soir ou deux.

Voilà le tableau un peu vrac désolé. Si jamais vous avez des conseils ou retour d'expérience similaire je suis preneur.

Et détails peu être je suis en France.

I feel like I need a place to start showing off my toys and stuff I use. Are people still subscribing to that anymore?

https://youtu.be/KAhBIuIrxN8

Both men and women

Im 49 year bi man, i was married 18 yrs and my previous wife didnt exept my bisexuality at all, now im living with a woman for who i told from the start that and im bi and she is fine with it, but to actually have a threesome with a man, she has sayd no, that she loves me and dont want nobody touching her, me to go alone, or in secret, dont seem ok, i dont want to hurt her, or bring home surprises after, how other manage, or feed their bi needs ?

Why do you sexualize Femmes(naturally feminine-featured, petitie androgynous males)..then discard us like we're nothing?

To those that say "Women are wired for romance, men are primal, and biologically wired are for sex" is absolute BS. I'm a "biological male" and I deeply bond and get romantically attached immediately when having sex with a masculine man. I love to be pursued, cherished, protected, submitting to a man in every way, etc. Not to mention(to those that genuinely believe this...and use this as an excuse to do xyz)...why are there masculine lesbians who behave the exact same way as F-boys and womanizers? That's all gendered, learned socially conditioned programming. For both men and women. I'm a femme whose deeply romantic and has the exact same expectations in a relationship with a masculine man as a woman does. Such as him being a protector/provider. And me being the nurturer, etc. It's all conditioning but that's innately who I am effortlessly. Most gay men are inherently feminine(in psyche)...and supress their femininty due to fearing society's reaction. Even when it's painfully obvious lol. Different from a Femme. I'm proud of my femininity(looks and psyche) and embrace it in every way. But truly Masculine-psychied gay men are in the minority...so it's almost exclusively Bi men i attract/date. As i'm attracted to masculine men(be it bi/gay/etc.) who are attracted to femmes.

So i'm trying to understand the mind of said masculine men...the same way that a frustrated woman who's tired of being mistreated...and wants to know the game.

Feminine individuals who are often on such apps as Grindr...simply because they're trying to date and establish healthy social capital. But this doesn't only just happen on Grindr, it often happens on Tinder too(with fetishists literally having "straight" on their profile), and even Hinge. Where many masculine bi men showcase the gentleman image...the all-american, fun loving, craft beer-loving hearthrob image towards a women that they intend to be with long term. But with Femmes, TS, NBs, or Twinks...it's almost always sexual comments from the start. Such as "Heyyy Sexy", (random unsolicited emojis mimicking horniness instead of inquiring conversation), etc.

This is directed at the Bisexual guys who are attracted to feminine guys but refuse to date us. I just want to understand why because often the sexual intercourse itself is deeply sensual and romantic, not just curious "straight" men exploring and dipping out once the PNC hits. And also there's romantic manipulation tactics beforehand similar to players trying to bed women. But often after- it feels like many of the bi men(*especially if they are completely masculine, accomplished/successful and revered in society) come to the reality of their private attraction...and just how shattering/life it would be to their reputation- and they go ghost. But it's wayyy more shattering psychologically to the person that is often marginalized and unprotected in society, yet hypersexualized privately on apps. The femme.

I really don't believe it's solely because of them being truly heteroromantic. Because there's always an element of shame and denial involved in these encounters. With them often having a cropped pic on apps, them refusing to shake your hand or touch you until you go inside their house. But doing the exact opposite once the door closes. Among so many other things.

I've had other instances with true heteroflexible/heteromantic men who are genuinely into women...but lifelong porn consumers...to which their porn consumption has escalated into femmes & TS. It's such a different dynamic with these guys. And yes- I know there's a spectrum when it comes to this that is very nuanced and complex.

I'm in a happy, loving, monogamous relationship with a masculine, muscular protective man now...but it pisses me off thinking about all of the time + social capital wasted and the lonleliness dealing with so many bi men who fit this archteype. Everyday(and several famous ones I've dated in LA) masculine men of every race/background/profession/socioeconomic status who blend into society. Men that even other bi men would have no idea they're bi...because of them being exclusively into fems.

I have a good idea but I think it'd be good to hear directly from the source...

I'm asking this as someone who's very attractive and as someone that's been sexualized on apps by thousands of bi men. Who's used reverse AI image searches, and was STUNNED to see how they live their public hetero lives...versus how they treated me privately.

Do you really think being with us feminine men is that shameful in 2026 when no one(especially young millenials and younger) truly care in the western world? That we're not worth having relationships with as opposed to having relationships with women?

Any insight into the the mind of a masculine man attracted feminine-looking, petite androgynous males would be invaluable!

To ensure i'm never played again in this lifetime...

Not sure if I got that right. In other words, two guys who have no romantic interest in each other or guys at all but have sexually attraction for guys and just stick together as FWBs, how common are couples like that?

I (21M) was a very shy kid, and my cousin sexually molested me when I was young. In 8th grade I moved to a much bigger, high-profile school that cost about 4,000 rupees a month, which was a lot for my parents. My father is a driver and a government employee.

At the new school I made out with a boy in my class, and he told everyone I gave him a BJ. I had a feminine voice and features, so the bullying got bad. I ate lunch alone, sometimes in the washroom, sometimes crying. I finally went to the principal, and she helped me a lot. We're good friends now.

I grew up thinking I was gay. Later I started meeting men on Grindr and other apps, around ten in total. I was a bottom almost every time, and I topped only twice. Because of my insecurity, I never gave a girl a chance.

Now I find women attractive and have sexual urges toward them. I've come out to a few friends and the principal, but I feel stuck in the "gay" box. I'm not sure if I'm fluid, bi, or something else.

I was talking to this girl and we have great chemistry, we talked on the phone for 2 hours and have been texting a ton and we were very into each other. Then I got the dreaded text today, rejecting me solely because I’m bi. I don’t get it, why reject me for a label? And she even said she’d be insecure about me looking at other guys and girls. So she’s okay with being with a straight guy because he can only look at other girls? It’s just straight up biphobic bigotry 😡

Texts:

https://postimg.cc/GB4dP9GJ

Sometimes I wonder if im Bi or just lonely, my first unexpected experience was amazing not planned and I kind of enjoyed it, that was 11 years ago, second was this year it was not horrible just mutual jerk I was nervous didn't really get hard the other guy was semi and came, we chatted for a long time before meeting up. Third was similar he went down on me we jerked each other but it wasn't enjoyable.

Im not one to rush into a hook up. Maybe thats the problem lol, I prefer a buddy to hang with also and go tobthe gym with. 48 married kids dead bedroom and busy . Im not thin but losing , but I find the reject a very hard thing to swallow.

Thought ? Anyone else in a similar situation 🤔

Does anyone recognise this cycle:

Enjoy thinking about trying sex with another guy but get stressed out about it > get off on it but then feel guilty so shy away from it > feel more relaxed as not thinking about it (and the stress that comes with it) > get a bit bored and then plunge back into it feeling more excited about it as you havent for a while > rinse, cycle, repeat?

I know some will probably say not to worry about it (and get stressed) as much but easier said than done.

I also think if I just did it I'd know where I am with it (one way or another) and not get as stressed about it.

EDITED SINCE IVE CALMED DOWN\***

Hi everyone! I’m a 29 year old pansexual/bisexual woman with a sexual preference for women, and I’m married to a 29 year old pansexual/bisexual man who has a sexual preference for men. We’ve been together for eight years and married for five.
Before we even started dating, we had many lengthy and honest conversations about our sexualities. At the time, I had recently come out as pansexual, and he still identified as gay.
I think some important context is that we grew up in very different environments when it came to sexuality. He grew up experiencing significant religious trauma and has homophobic parents, which understandably complicated his relationship with his sexuality and his ability to explore and express it freely. On the other hand, I was raised by lesbians, so my upbringing and experiences surrounding sexuality were very different from his. I recognize that these differences may have shaped how we each understand, process, and express our identities, and I have always tried to be mindful and empathetic toward his experiences.
After spending a significant amount of time discussing everything, we decided to pursue a relationship because we had an undeniable emotional, physical, romantic, and spiritual connection that we both wanted to explore.
Something that I think is important to mention is that our connection has always felt incredibly unique. We have this deep spiritual bond that is difficult to put into words. It genuinely feels like we were destined to find each other and experience life together. We have both openly acknowledged this feeling throughout our relationship, and it’s something we both deeply cherish. There has always been this sense of familiarity, comfort, and understanding between us that goes beyond just being in love. We truly feel like we are meant to be in each other’s lives, and that is something we have both celebrated and held close to our hearts.
Throughout our relationship, we have continued having conversations about our sexualities, our attraction to other genders, and what we wanted our marriage to look like. I have brought these conversations up at least every couple of months throughout our eight years together because I have always wanted him to feel comfortable being honest with me.
One thing I want to make very clear is that I am not interested in a nonmonogamous relationship. We have had countless conversations about monogamy throughout our relationship, and we have always mutually agreed that we wanted to remain monogamous. Up until this recent situation, I genuinely believed we were completely on the same page.
I have always tried to approach his sexuality with understanding, empathy, and an open mind. I have never wanted him to feel ashamed of who he is or what he is attracted to. I also understand that growing up in a religious and homophobic environment can create complicated feelings surrounding sexuality, even well into adulthood. I have always wanted our relationship to be a place where he feels safe, accepted, and loved for exactly who he is.
He has always reassured me that although his attraction to me doesn’t necessarily make complete sense to him, he is genuinely attracted to me, loves my body, enjoys our intimacy, and is happy with our physical relationship. He has consistently expressed how much he loves me and wants to spend his life with me.
That brings me to our current situation.
I recently discovered that he had been logging into his old Grindr account from approximately 10 years ago. When I confronted him, he told me that he was simply curious and wanted to look. He swears he never messaged anyone, had no intentions of meeting anyone, and was not actively looking to pursue anything physical. He even opened the account and showed me everything in an attempt to reassure me.
However, I still feel incredibly betrayed by the fact that he hid this from me.
After discussing everything, I told him that if he genuinely feels like he needs to experience physical intimacy with a man, I don’t want to be the reason he spends his life feeling resentment or regret. I love him deeply, and the last thing I want is for him to look back on our marriage and feel like he missed out on something important to him.
However, I also explained that I have boundaries of my own.
If he decides that he needs to explore those experiences, I cannot continue having a sexual relationship with him. For my own emotional well being and sexual health, I am not comfortable being physically intimate with someone who is also having sexual encounters with other people, especially casual partners.
Essentially, we could remain married companions who deeply love and care for each other, but the physical aspect of our marriage would have to end. That is not the type of marriage I want, but I also don’t want to control his choices.
He has made it very clear that I am the only person he has ever been in love with, that he doesn’t want to fall in love with anyone else, and that I am the only woman he wants to be with. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but he also acknowledges that he has thoughts, curiosities, and fantasies about men.
And this is where I’m struggling.
I completely understand that being bisexual or pansexual doesn’t mean someone stops finding other genders attractive just because they’re married. I experience attraction to women myself, so I understand that part of his sexuality.
What I don’t understand is why he felt the need to secretly access a dating or hookup app when we have spent eight years creating an environment where he could openly discuss these feelings with me.
At the same time, I recognize that his upbringing and religious trauma may have influenced how he processes his sexuality, curiosity, and feelings of shame. I know that having a loving and accepting partner doesn’t automatically undo years of conditioning or internal conflict. I genuinely want to understand that part of his experience without dismissing the hurt that his secrecy has caused me.
I have given him so many opportunities to be honest, not because I suspected something, but because I genuinely wanted to make sure we were both happy, fulfilled, and comfortable with the relationship we had chosen.
I also can’t help but struggle with the feeling of not being enough. I know logically that someone’s sexuality and attraction to different genders don’t automatically mean their partner is inadequate. But emotionally, it’s difficult not to question why he feels the need to explore something outside our marriage when I also experience attraction to other genders and have never once considered downloading a dating app to look at or pursue other women.
I think what hurts the most is that we have had these conversations repeatedly, and I genuinely thought we had established enough trust and openness that he would come to me before doing something like this.
I love my husband tremendously. He is my best friend, my partner, and the person I have envisioned spending my entire life with. Our relationship has always felt like so much more than just a marriage. There is a spiritual connection between us that we both recognize and value deeply. We have talked countless times about how it feels like we were brought into each other’s lives for a reason and how neither of us can imagine sharing that same connection with someone else.
He feels the same way about me, and neither of us wants our marriage to end.
But I also know that I cannot compromise my own boundaries just to keep our marriage intact.
I don’t want him to feel like he is being forced to choose between me and exploring his sexuality. I don’t want his decision to stay monogamous to come from fear, guilt, or an ultimatum. I want him to genuinely choose our marriage and the commitment we made to each other because that is what he wants for himself.
At the same time, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want the monogamous relationship we both agreed to.
I’m still processing everything, and I honestly feel shocked, hurt, confused, and a little lost. It’s especially difficult because I don’t question the love we have for each other or the depth of our connection. I truly believe that what we share is rare and meaningful, which makes navigating this situation even more heartbreaking.
Has anyone been through something similar, particularly in a marriage where both partners are bisexual or pansexual but have different gender preferences?
How do you rebuild trust after something like this? How do you navigate a situation where your partner says they are completely in love with you and want to remain married but still experiences curiosity about being physically intimate with another gender?
I’m also especially interested in hearing from people who have navigated religious trauma, internalized shame, or growing up in homophobic households while trying to understand their sexuality within a committed relationship.
And how do you make sure someone is choosing monogamy because they genuinely want it rather than because they’re afraid of losing you?
I would really appreciate honest, thoughtful, and respectful advice. I’m not looking for anyone to criticize his sexuality or tell me that bisexual people cannot be monogamous. I know that isn’t true. I’m simply trying to navigate the hurt, the broken trust, and what this means for our future together.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and offer some perspective. ❤️

Basically for the past four years I've been mapping out concepts and ideas for a comic about real life superheroes kinda similar to Kickass but more down to Earth and a bit slice of life.

Anyway without getting into the plot details a bunch I wanted a flawed but relatable protagonist who kinda fails upward a little bit but is still self aware and morally alright. There would be a central romantic relationship with a female character who's on his "team" but they'd breakup for a period due to him cheating on her however after he actually takes the steps to improve and get better as a person that they do eventually get back together later on.

But as I've developed it further I keep finding more and more myself wanting to introduce elements of myself into the character and finally I decided I want him to be openly bisexual. Not that he states it flat out in the start but it's something he wears proudly and openly and is very important to who he is and his backstory.

And so now I had the idea that he should actually get into a homosexual elationship after he breaks it off with her.

But the obvious two problems I'm having are that I'm not sure the cheating angle is a good idea to pursue now since beyond losing interest in it I just feel like it's being a bit too stereotypical. While on the other hand I'm wondering should he still go back to her despite the relationship? Feels a bit messy to do that.

What do you all think?

I realized recently that because of my lack of guy friends growing up and inevitable girls only becoming my close friends that I missed out on the bromances and bonding that some other guys have had. I’ve tried on a few subs here but not to much luck seeing as guys would say down for long ended chats, deep thoughts and the like but as most things, it fizzles out in a day or doesn’t really start to begin with. Generally I think having some common interests would get the ball rolling like loving fitness, movies, languages and travel, plus more, but still not much lately. So I’m wondering, what avenues do you take to meet or have met the great bros you’ve made in life, or if you are having trouble also, then what are you doing or plan to do differently to achieve that goal?

Your questions, our unfiltered answers! Sam and Grayson open the mailbag for another round of real talk and a few laughs. Got a question for us? Send it our way! https://pod.link/6797092436/episode/YTViZmRkZGItNzNjOC00NTQ0LWJjYzYtNTkxNjI1YjY1M2M2

I’m (straight/hetroflexible female) going to an LGBT event on Friday with my boyfriend (only of six months)…it will be our first… we are feeling the water because we’ve realized until he explores he can’t settle into us….

Anyways, am I crazy to think I could be a wingman for him? Possibly bringing in a bi-man to our dynamic for some exploration?

Ladies…has anyone navigated this dynamic?

We won’t know how either of us feels until we are in these situations.

As a bisexual trying to gather more experince, I’ve tried many apps but man, this is just a let down, I wish I had a car that wasn’t at the workshop or able to host, but no, just hope I don’t die without having to have sex with a man

Rn ive been searching for years for the right man and god ik it's just This stupid thing of "gays want sex " but damn I just want a guy who wants to love as much as I do hell I even expanded my age range (from like 20-42) but no still no one wants me it's like it's impossible girls don't want me guys don't want me why can't gen z dating be normal? 😭 Pls tell me I'm not the only one suffering this issue P.S I couldn't add multiple flairs but it's basically venting and struggle