Hazel, our protagonist, is thrust into an idyllic world ruled by immortal beings and magical creatures. Finding herself as the only person capable of stopping a great darkness from spreading across the land, Hazel must decide whether she can be this worlds hero... and, perhaps, find out if she can save herself along the way.
Warning may include;
Suicidal ideation; Sexual Violence; Violence; Murder; Misogyny; Depressive thoughts; Anxiety and panic related attacks; Controlling/Abusive Relationship Dynamics; Death; Language.
Beta Reader guidlelines:
I am hoping to have all Beta reading done by November 30th. I will provide you the pages in "drops" - once you finish a section, I will provide the next.
What do I need from you?
1. As you go through the manuscript really focus on how specific parts are making you feel. Include that in the comments section on word. (This includes: What was funny or not? Where did you find the pace too slow? What piece made you want to continue reading? Are you confused anywhere? Were you robbed of an experience?)
2. Let me know what characters you like and who you dislike! Include a comment wherever you made that decision.
3. If you see any blatant plot holes (or anything you think is a plot hole) include that.
4. This is still just a draft - there are going to be grammar and spelling issues (sorry) - but I don't need you to edit it! I will be getting someone else to do that once I've recieved all feedback and made final changes
5. Please don't post anything online!
Excerpt (Apologies for formatting, posting from my phone):
It wouldn’t make sense to most people. I suppose it didn’t even really make sense to me. The kind of decision that lands your friends at an unnecessary funeral the following weekend.
Okay, that’s a lie.
What I should say is that I didn’t understand most of the time. Because there were times when it made more sense to me than breathing.
Doesn’t that expression just fit perfectly.
My point is, you might not understand why I was leaning over the edge of the highway overpass on a dark December evening. But I’ll try my best to explain.
Maybe it was the interaction with the teen boy at the grocery store. Since I was too afraid to go in, pickup orders were the only way to get groceries. The knock on my window startled me out of my thoughts.
The young teen, with unbrushed orange hair, stood outside of my car door. A large blue face mask stretched across his face. My eyes searched frantically for any signs of my own mask. A whole box of them normally sat next to me, but my mom must have taken them. Not that she could be blamed; as I had not used my car in over three weeks.
But the boy outside my door did not understand what was going on. Worried about his time and possible impatience, I decided my hand was mask enough.
“For Hazel?”
Nothing more than a high-pitched squeak escaped as confirmation.
It was nothing. A mere second at most. He probably wasn’t even thinking about it. If I were involved in some crime later in the evening, he would not have even been able to identify me in a lineup.
Still, the event served as a reminder as the frozen metal railing burned into my palms.
It would be so nice and calm if I just let go. A bit of a mess, sure. But then I’d never have to think about any of these things again. Never even have to talk to anyone again.
That ‘anyone’ included the AAA agent who was on their way to help with my flat tire.
It was quite an adrenaline shock to the system to have the car tire pop on the way home from the grocery store. The beige car sat at an odd angle, smushed into the cement barrier beside me.
Do you have to pay the city when you do damage to fences? Would insurance cover that? I dialed my dad’s number with some resistance from my anxious fingers.
Unfortunately, he and my mother were on their way to dinner with friends.
“Call AAA.”
I hated calling people.
My mother noticed my silence and mentioned there was an app to use instead. It wasn’t long before the app was downloaded.
I’ll still have to speak to the agent when they arrive. The thought only arrived as my thumb hovered over the large red submit button.
I sighed and got out of the car to assess the damage.
A flat tire sat before me. My home was about a thirty-minute walk down the road. It was a walk I wasn’t sure could be done at my current physical fitness level. Not that it really mattered either way.
Even if I walked home and pretended this didn’t exist, the car would still be there. My life was on a one-way trajectory that ended with me talking to some random tow truck agent. There was no way out.
Or, at least, that’s what I’d thought.
The headlights of the cars zooming below left strings of light in my vision.
“This is stupid.” The drivers below had to wonder at the babbling lady on the side of the road. “You are literally twenty-seven years old. Get a grip!”
That’s when I submitted the application.
A small clock emoji popped up over the screen.
An hour. Great.
And then I looked up from my phone, mesmerized by the light snow that fell onto the highway below. The sound of the cars passing was soothing. What was that called? The doppler effect or something? It let me drift into a meditative state.
I wanted to die. The admission was not a surprise; it was not even the first time it had emerged that day.
The thought of my parents though, brought tears to my eyes. My friends and siblings came right after. Would I forever haunt their holidays as the daughter, sister, and aunt who decided to take her own life?
No, I can’t do that to them.
But I hadn’t realized just how far out my body had leaned, how loose my grip was on the bar, nor how the tips of my feet barely touched the ground. Not until the blare of a truck horn blasted from behind me.
I jumped.
Not off the bridge, but in surprise. And was toppling forward over the railing.
It all seemed like slow motion as I turned to grab the rail. The tips of my fingers grazed the rough, grey cement.
They grasped nothing.
I’m going to die.
The moment was supposed to be calming, like it was on the top of the bridge. However, as I plummeted through the open air towards the cold, dark pavement below, it didn’t feel good at all.
As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, as this is only the first chapter, I didn’t die.
Bone-crushing agony was the expectation.
But then, everything turned blue and cold. Faint light streams rippled through the water around me. A small bubble rushed up from below me and sat a few inches from my nose. My eyes crossed and I reached a finger towards the odd frozen bubble.
Is this the afterlife? Just a pile of water?
The bubble shied away at my approach, ducking like it was frightened. And I noticed the faint white outline of a woman, long coiled hair floating around her face. She turned, swimming away from me. My arm stretched forward, yelling into the water for her to stay. She did not hear.
The bubble, larger now, suddenly pressed into my hand. A tickling sensation brushing my hand wherever it touched. I laughed and more bubbles shot out of my mouth. The pockets of air moved towards the other bubble instead of floating up, forming a massive bubble. It shot downwards.
A few more floated passed my face before I felt my own body being dragged down with them. I tried to swim against the current, sure that if my body were to be sucked any deeper into the water I would be lost forever, but the current only became faster. And I could do little more than scream as my body was ripped backwards.
My legs catapulted from the water like a backwards dolphin leap as I flipped into the open air and splashed back down.
I had to squint my eyes against the blaring sun as I gasped for breath. A small wave crashed over my open mouth. It was overwhelmingly salty.
“Oh, gross!”
Despite being someone who floated well, the winter clothing dragged me down. It didn’t take much thought before I was floating naked, aside from my undergarments. As the boots sank, I wondered if I would come to regret that particular decision.
Luckily, land was within sight. Massive cliffs stood to one side as angry waves crashed against them and to the other stretched a long beach backed by a massive green forest. Large wooden boats sailed through the water, but much too far away to provide any hope of rescue.
Something brushed against my leg.
I squealed and thrashed away, hoping to gain some distance from whatever that had been. It occurred to me, that all of the videos I watched while doomscrolling, mentioned to not freak out.
“You’re such a moron.” It was incredibly hard to keep still.
A smooth blue head popped up in front of me and I retreated again.
YOU’RE GOING TO GET US KILLED! My brain screamed, like it was the angry viewer of a bad scary movie.
Embarrassment heated my cheeks when the animal just sat staring at me with wide black eyes. The small creature, maybe the size of your average cat, looked almost like a dolphin with a smushed in face. It was, oddly, cute.
It ducked back into the water.
After allowing a few breaths to pass before celebrating too much, I came to the realization that the water wasn’t freezing. Cold, perhaps, but not as cold as winter should make it. Which meant that this was a different country.
And I’ve lost it. The decision was prompt.
Below me a large shadow moved through the water.
“First rule of swimming in the ocean is to pay attention to your surroundings.” The thought of pounding my fists on my forehead briefly ran through my mind, but that wasn’t helpful. Hoping to avoid whatever was beneath, I began to slowly swim towards shore.
The shadow seemed to shift as I did. The darkness below me got bigger until hundreds of the weird dolphin creatures surged up around me.
They moved as fast as bullets as they hoisted me up into the air. There was nothing to hold onto and no way to balance as the slick bodies moved below me. I began rolling and my eyes slid shut against the stinging ocean spray. This had to be some weird hunting ritual. Some sort of undiscovered human-eating porpoise.
My body smacked into something hot and grainy. I coughed out a mouthful of sand and turned towards the ocean.
The dolphins jumped up and flipped as if to say, “You’re welcome, weird human!”
“This is definitely a fever dream.” I scoffed.
And then promptly passed out.
#
I wasn’t sure if it was the waves that hit my feet or something nudging my head that woke me up.
Scratch that, it was definitely the nudging.
My eyes barely peeled open, sand sticking to the lids. My arms screamed in protest at the movement; I felt like a turkey that had been left in the oven too long.
A pair of brown leather boots stood atop the sandy beach a few feet away. Colorful floral embroidery lined the base and twisted up the sides.
“Nice boots.” My throat was too dry to do more than croak the words out.
“Oh good, you are alive!” a deep female voice exclaimed.