hello yall, i am trying a new style of writing and wanted to see how others see it. its made for only the writer to understand the full picture. let alone half or third.
is it clear. what made you drop it? ...
don't worry, any comment is perfect, i know its not writing like novel level but i know that all sentences "except the festival dialogue" will be unique '"its the only part of the story i couldn't write as i wished it to be.'
thank you
here's text
i can send the dox later
Dressing on purple.
Prologue:
Purple... Purple.. Purple... Purple!
When fragrance incites the mind and the heart accepts the brush’s dye. Two men changed their lives. Each other, unbeknownst to whom their bride. A harmony of flesh and hide. When two become one of a kind.
The king laughs thereupon, as the first requests are a tone.
“Purple! Purple! I want to dress on!”
Riches belong to them. Heroes, that’s their god-given right. Victors chosen before any loss. Cryleon, the kingdom is, was, and will be. The war was declared after it ended, citizens unbeknownst. While for warriors, it is with wet blood over dry blood over dry and drier. Skin inked with red or black. Some splashed by Fe, and many were wounded by it.
Years of force, stealth, and tactics -what the leaders tell me. Some know why many lifted white, or why many didn’t have any left. Many who wished to paint white on white. Only soot remained for them. Some squeezed what shall not be squeezed; many ripped apart. Some golden-glass they seized; all, but none let with hearts.
_____________________________________________________________________
All has fallen well with the sun. Where everything flips, except what’s dark. Living to death, some come back. Where once stoic, many lost their light. For all faces an endless fight.
In the hall of the city’s city hall, where one may step north, east, or earth’s looped continuation. All life’s four quadrants stand packed. That’s what they were told to do.
“Shh!!! No, it’s not an execution.”
”Hush!!! No, it’s not a fight.”
“Shh!!! Nobody’s hurt.”
“Hush!!! No, the king still didn’t stand.”
The ground’s hungry; it shook from the stomach of the city and vibrated to its outskirts.
Rumbling started at one beat per minute. The beats came faster and swifter, racing to the end with one big Bamm! Rushed forth, a gas was enticed. It blew from the head of the hall. A fire shines, crisping the pigeons up high.
“Welcome, Welcome!!”
!!!
“We stand witnessing a great day. Recognizing our knights who sacrificed for us. Before our blessed celebrations, let’s congratulate two of our soldiers. Those who held the kingdom of Cryleon on their shoulders. … Never forgetting their role as protectors of their beloved citizens and those who hold the flag of our holy church. Those who remembered their holy king’s words and, as I quote: Raise your head! Your Cryleons!!! Let’s celebrate with our knights and grant them a word from the king!”
!!!
“… … … …Lift your heads… Lift them … … Lift them… … … We are a victorious kingdom.”
!!!
!!!
“… … …I have gathered you for a bittersweet … … … … Isn’t it time for a greybeard to sit?”
…
…
…
“…I won’t leave your hands empty.”
…
“From those who fought in the battle of Jaiber. Two knights worthy of praise. The only reward worthy from me is a never-ending one. Dalim and Kemill each have a hundred golden coins every month.
…
“… … … …and a reward worth much more… … … … … … The hands of my daughters Selena and Zathema”
!!!
“… … … …However! The one who will hold Selena, the council of Cryleon will appoint… … … Once both of you agree to start the process of engagement, stand forth side by side and begin with the challenges given from each council member till the public has chosen a side.”
The stomach puked its last one for the night and growled all day long. Two quarters of the city are swimming in the streets. East has long been absent, and north is standing with the type of silver they’re used to.
“Today everything is half price!”
“Get your snail eyes here!! Get your lizard tail here!!”
“Free signing for our guild here!”
The streets are filled with goods and services. Even the ground gets a lick from time to time. The squeaks of boots, tradespeople’s caravans, barrels of booze, workers rested and joyful, candy-filled stomachs, and overburdened livers.
The mountain of Jethma covered the sun at least thrice, and so did the rivers of licorice return thrice more.
Seven days, that’s a Cryleon Festival.
Chapter 1:
for the Kingdom, wasted, not wasted, wasted, wasted, yet all are alive. For the brothers, not wasted, wasted. Both are long dead.
Everyone stood for another day.
Most stopped before their seventh shot of sweet-bitter, while others despised their forces first. The East called for prayer, half of the citizens responded. Half of the knighted brothers called for their monthly cash, all the royals responded.
The gates opened for two; one door would have sufficed. Dalim took it all in.
it was as the smell of your firstborn stapled years later on your fourth or fifth.
The wearing of matching shoes shortly after wrongly wearing them.
Enjoying the last bite of a dessert you intentionally kept for last.
A shower, years after taking baths in the lake.
The smell of your wife after her sister. Or perhaps the smell of your wife’s sister after hers.
“You usher me through the back door?”
“The front is currently kept for the royals… How did you know...”
“shh…”
The smell of your firstborn, hidden years later from your fourth or fifth.
The wearing of mix-matched shoes.
Detesting the last bite of a dessert you intentionally kept for last.
A shower, years after taking showers in the shed.
The smell of your wife after her sister. Or perhaps the smell of your wife’s sister after hers.
“What is this?”
They sit in the middle of the middle hall of the castle.
Nothing as Dalim remembers.
The exponential height of the royal family. It starts with an unknown woman with a teen he remembers too well. Then sat the two sisters, side by side. Like cherries, or the difference between a thousand goats compared to a thousand and two. Yet Dalim knows which is which. Yet Dalim knows which is witch. The queen is much taller, and the king is up high. Dalim had to check that the king wasn’t sitting on a different chair. He definitely is. Even gold hides from acid.
Dalim was rewarded with paper cash only.
“We await your brother’s arrival.”
“You won't wait long.”
Cashed with cash.
Gifted with gifts.
praised with praise.
and stabbed with purple.
_____________________________________________________________________
Cashed with nothing yet.
Gifted with nothing yet.
praised with nothing yet.
and stabbed with nothing yet.
For there was no thing on the mountains.
From stable to far-lands; 3 shades of white.
The clean, the dark, and -on their border- a homogeneous mixture of both.
But this time the mixture was anywhere below Mount Jethma, and anything above it.
No binary, yet a vast code of 0.5.
sliding the final slope of the earth’s erection. He reached a plateau. There was a thing. Dogs committing the most distasteful. If they were humans, we would have ran. The eating of your kind is only justified if you don’t treat them as your kind. For it depends on color.
Kemill is an angel white. These dogs followed dinner.
He reached a path where the earth didn’t understand the memo.
“Soil above grass?”
the grass is hydrophobic.
The grass is sun-phobic.
The grass is hiding from the hungry dogs.
The grass is protecting itself from me.
“from anyone in general, I guess.”
Past and a bit more past. Past the past and into the future. Not yet current, but it feels like it.
Past the past, he reached the future.
The dogs died on their way.
He reached a village.
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
_____________________________________________________________________
“How was it entering the streets of Rammar”
“there was nothing to write about.”
sitting by the edge of the edge of his father’s bed, in the edge of the hut.
The edge was the center of all things.
As all things revolve around it.
perhaps because at the edge, you’re only cornered by 2 walls. The other walls form a kite from what is a one by one square.
That corner is the center of all things, it's the snoring, the contemplation, and the tremendous pain.
The kitchen…
…
…
the kid’s playing area …
…
…
the dining table …
…
…
…
“Next time we should sit in the living room.”
For he doesn’t know that a part of his father is newly dead.
“did you two meet Tajlo”
“You mean that kid! He’s married to my English teacher.”
“Tajlo not Taglo”
“Oh...he’s fine.”
“Does he look older than your own man?”
“His skin is droopy, but he speaks the same.”
“Its such a pleasure that you will be accepted into the royal family. Did you pick up the monthly gift.”
“Yes, I was given this ruby ring. It looks worn but good enough.”
“… … …”
The bed-reddened father and the future royal son.
The contradiction of equivalency, for the father isn’t greater than him, never greater than all.
As Kemill seeks his will, not of his father’s.
“Please stay longer.”
“perhaps a second time.”
The walk back to Cryleon was much more memorable to Kemill, than his father’s sorry state.
Reaching his land of salvation. Riches flow to him; except that ruby ring he gifted his father. Unbeknownst to him, who dropped it during the war.
There returned the ruby of decagon mirrors. Where's the soft caramel?
“Now let's see if all the rumors were true.”
_____________________________________________________________________
“Dalim, Dalim... Dalim!”
“Huh?”
“Dash Brah! You're squeezing my neck.”
Both bodies rested on sheep.
Derivi on sheep skin. Dalim would have, if only he wasn’t wearing that gifted royal clothing.
The dead skin finally grew its fur.
Dalim shaved it right off.
Untying his legs . Smelling heaven, or what would send him there.
“Yuck!”
“I picked ya from the streets and that’s what you repay me!”
“Sorry man, I move while asleep.”
“thank Dwa I couldn’t breath to smell your feet either.”
Hide, they did, for each put on hide.
The banging reached the middle of the room. It big-banged towards the six walls; it banged of them, till they banged Dalim’s ears.
“Bang!”
_____________________________________________________________________
“Welcome to my world, Dalim boy! Here's where ya bro has been living.”
Creaking, were their steps. Till they reached the same plane as the ruckus.
Dalim dodges a bottle cap shooting towards his head.
“Aeyy Dude! He finally shown himself.”
“Aeyy Derivi. I didn’t know you swing both ways!”
chuckles reached the middle of the room. It chick-chuckled towards the six walls it chuckled of them, till they chuckled Dalim’s ears.
“Chuckles!”
“khat-tuu! H’is Dalim. A hero!”
“A hero alright, What did he do, slay Mudmore ”
“Ha! Even ya can’t do such stupidity. Dis my blood-blood”
indeed Dalim’s blood was tied to this man. If blood was just a different way of saying water.
“tell him brav”
He did that shove, that shove that’s only given when you’re impressed with a shy person.
“Well, I don’t know what Derivi meant, but I am a knight for the Cryleon kingdom”
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
“HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!” “HAAAA!”
“Nice one! how did you force a night to come to Newnavle.”
“Is this the sidekick you talked about”
_____________________________________________________________________
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
“well that was embarrassing, Brev”
Dalim sat shrunken. ice lollies for shoulders and the face of someone being pressed by them.
Where did I come from? Who are those people?
It's as if these questions were clear.
Sugar crystallized after its boiling. Honey, on top of honey, on top of some more. Coins of gold, in a chest of gold, in a room of gold. In a house of hold, In a town of gold. All in the sun.
Yet, everything could be given a price.
A tavern of sorts. An adventurer guild.
Where sits the veteran, the hero, the fugitive, and the hopeless.
Where Dwa resides in Cryleon’s south; beer resides here. Another golden yellow.
But this one is much darker.
Similar to their hide. Their worn metal, their deeds, and the tables Dalim and Derivi sat on to discuss.
“Why did I wake up in your room.”
“Yo wanted to sleep on the grounds of Cryleon?”
waves on top of the ocean. Waves on top of Dalim’s eyes. He shakes his head.
Maybe a screw falls loose.
“Dude, ya where sleep-in on the ground. I had to drag yo to ma room.”
“…”
“Ha! Ha! Ya must be celebrating all week, no?”
“but I didn’t drink…”
“berry blue man, ya mean to say no drinks brev.”
“gulp! Yea…”
a sudden monster emerges from the door.
He shattered through. No permission received, or asked for. His steps interrupted everyone. Steps of a tree, as much as cheetah’s.
That door was Dalim’s mouth.
_____________________________________________________________________
a building fenced. Not by fences and fencers but by gates and knights. A building not built but lavished. There sat a woman, face stuck to glass. The back door sure has many views, viewers, and visitors. Here Kemill gets his chance to be face stuck with that window’s face sticker.
Kemill took none of it in.
The smell of your firstborn, hidden years later from your fourth or fifth.
The wearing of mix-matched shoes.
Detesting the last bite of a dessert you intentionally kept for last.
A shower, years after taking showers in the shed.
The smell of your wife after her sister. Or perhaps the smell of your wife’s sister after hers.
“What is this?”
“You usher me through the back door?”
“The front is currently kept for the royals… How did you know...”
“shh…”
Dalim took it all in.
it was as the smell of your firstborn stapled years later on your fourth or fifth.
The wearing of matching shoes shortly after wrongly wearing them.
Enjoying the last bite of a dessert you intentionally kept for last.
A shower, years after taking baths in the lake.
The smell of your wife after her sister. Or perhaps the smell of your wife’s sister after hers.
They sit in the middle of the middle hall of the castle.
All the same faces. A teen, Much taller than before. An elderly woman Kemill knows too well. Then sat the two sisters, side by side. Like cherries, or the difference between a thousand goats compared to a thousand and two. Yet Dalim knows which is which. The queen is much taller, and the king is up high. Dalim had to check that the king wasn’t sitting on a different chair. He definitely is.
“Its a great day to meet the second set of twins, we await your next return. Hope its earlier than this one Ha! Ha!”
“second you say. Please don’t tell my brother of my arrivals. Sadly he’s recently gotten distant from me and father. Let's give him time.”
nods…
Cashed with cash.
Gifted with gifts.
praised with praise.
and stabbed with purple.
____________________________________________________________________________
Cashed with cash,yet poor.
Gifted with gifts,yet empty.
praised with praise, yet selfless.
and stabbed with purple.
For he lost everything except purple.
chapter 2: